you keep them alive on purpose

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

The sentiments turned solemn instead of grating, and somewhere in the moments he found himself blinking in the haze, piercing gaze yearning to suddenly stare out across the void and see something other than the enigmatic pieces. But nothing came other than mist and fog and the roar of the falls in the background, and he dipped his noble, feline head, glancing out along infinite nothingness below rocks, outcroppings, and embankments. He could feel the pauses, the drawn out chasm that defined and defied empty spaces, cracks, and crags. Before, he might have been accustomed to it; sketched and adorned and weighted in those gulfs, pits, and abysses. Nowadays, there were too many other things, and he couldn’t crawl, couldn’t hover, couldn’t serpentine his way into the vacuity.

The question took him out of the desolation, twisting his head upwards, back where it belonged. We took shelter in King’s End, and for a few snippets there’d been some solace, trying to regroup before Noah was pulled away, before currents took them to different places. Plots and machinations, calculations always working, no matter where they ended up. I apologized for my actions to Maeve, and she has allowed Ru and I back in. Which might have been a warning for the former sovereign and Arbiter, of the Valkyrie, of everything in between, but he couldn’t be too certain about Ru’s current need for vengeance. Not with the children. Our efforts were never against Torchline as a whole, but I understand how it was construed that way. Politics lacquered and stuck, when it’d all been very personal. The explanation hadn’t mattered to Morgan, and he’d been too cross, too angry, to go any further in pleading his case.

A long breath extended, and the rest of the ongoing saga whittled through. But I have been asked to re-establish the Monster Hunter’s Guild, and Maeve was given me permission to do so in Torchline. His eyes glanced over, attempting to gauge some sort of reaction, before flickering away.

Ru and peace were an interesting, alternating route. He almost laughed – muffling it under a snort. For now, I think she has. She had the twins, and her children have always given her a comfort. There’d always be an absence though – either from those lost before or lost presently. As for himself? Some portion softened and he did relent a chuckle. In some ways, I suppose. There is still much to do. But Deimos took more instances, more moments, to have repose – uncertain when it’d be available again. Curiosity compelled though, after the dust had seemingly settled. Mildew told me she found you in the swamps. Is that where you disappeared to? Hidden and tucked away – a respite in its own way, perhaps.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

Maeve relenting and rewelcoming Hotaru back into Torchline doesn't surprise Aurelia. She had known there was something between the two of them, be it friendship or something more. That was Maeve's business, though. With Sunjata and Nate gone, with Aurelia gone, Hotaru had no further personal vendettas awaiting her in the sands - and so she would have likely seemed not to be a threat. Whether that would remain true with Aurelia's return, she does wonder. Did a thirst for vengeance still drive the Valkyrie? More importantly, she wonders if there is a way to undo what was done. Likely not..

I don't ever hope to have Hotaru's forgiveness. I've thought about seeking her out to apologize or... she turns her muzzle this way, that way, to ask if there is a way for us to leave it in the past, the same as I've done with you here. I don't think that would blow over well. Her gaze flickers up, toward the distant treetops half-covered in mists. But I don't hold any of it against her either. Not anymore. She had, once. She'd been furious about it. But that fury had died down considerably, quelled by too much time between and so much painful growth throughout.

As for a monster-hunting guild, Aurelia's ears prick in mild interest. She notices the way Deimios glances toward her. Shifting her weight, she sits back on her haunches and wraps her tail around her paws. Well, that's good. I wish you luck in that. Because of her previous experiences in life, Aurelia might've been good at monster-hunting. I would offer my help but, I've only just recovered. And there are other matters that I need to take care of. A sentiment much the same as his own. There is still much to do.

It surprises her when he reveals that Mildew had told him about her. I didn't know you knew Mildew, she comments off-handedly. Shaking out her scruff, she explains, I was with Remi, Ronin, and Sunjata in Hak Etme. We were looking for something important, I guess it was a relic. But I got separated from them, got lost. Somehow I ended up in Mildew's swamp. There were spirits that stalked me, drove me to madness. That, or maybe I had been hallucinating. It's hard to remember exactly what happened. But, yes, that's where I ended up. She nods once, whiskers twitching with the movement. Settling into the cool stones beneath her, she adds, I think my shifts are the only things that kept me alive out there for so long. They must've taken over when I lost myself.

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

Hotaru’s forgiveness was a bit more difficult to obtain than his; and though Deimos could be amongst the petty, grudge-holding, embittered lacquer, the Valkyrie had her own brand of resentment and enmity. He also hadn’t lost a companion to another – Belial had been safe in the reaches of elsewhere, spying, and Zuriel hadn’t been on the premises – or that connection to one’s soul. It may be worth trying, he offered, another ambiguous movement of his head, wandering thoughts rumbling through. But I would not be surprised if she spurned the attempt. It was all he could grant her in those parameters. She has lost a lot. Not justifying the measures, for many of them had along the way – people, places, friends, allies, loved ones, all turning and twisting and falling apart at the seams, no matter how hard one tried. Explanation, perhaps, another echo of things the Fireheart may have already heard.

He’d only attempted to gauge her reaction based on him being within the sand of Torchline at all – not to ask for help. He shrugged his shoulders and stifled some form of laugh, placing it amongst his lungs so it rendered into a stifled snort. We should have enough interested. Tend to your own matters. Guilds were not as plentiful as they’d once been, and considering the amount of monsters enveloping the world, he trusted there’d be some yearning to stay and stray within the confines of libraries and dens, or venturing out into the world. She gave me the very building we burned. Which meant he had enough work to do just with that alone.

An arch of a tiger brow at her off-handed comment caused the lightest of inward smirks, enough to justify a low chuckle. I know many. Reticent he might be, but Deimos had found ways to gain and gauge information for a long while; making allies and comrades along the paths. The explanation only differed slightly from what the witch had told him – personal experiences and variations simply because of what Aurelia had seen before piercing her way through bogs. Relics and the usual suspects in regards to snagging at them – refraining from rolling his eyes at the mention of Sunjata’s name. Curiosity, rather than any semblance of judgement, bore his way through emotions and munitions, pondering the state of it all. At the heart of them, all animals yearn to survive. So it wasn’t surprising that her instincts, shifts, had done the same.

Instead of tying off in those mercurial, and possibly rancorous trials, he bent into his inquiries, animal head tilting deeper, watching her once more from the corner of his piercing eyes. Besides all that, how was the desert? I have not ventured that way.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

She'd heard it all before. But it had taken this long for that empathy to truly be able to sink in past the ash, through the echo of lightning in her ears, over time which brought healing and reflection. And to her I've become another person, another force, that took something dear away. I never wanted.. to be that... her voice is grave and, within the bond, many of her own emotions are held back. Not for secrecy, but because she didn't wish to put that weight upon anyone else. Not anymore. I will try to make amends. I can't undo her past, but maybe if Atlas were to be brought back... then maybe... It's an idea forming as she speaks, perhaps one that the Gods would be let seen to fruition.

That Deimos would be constructing the guild from the Slagveld made her laugh. It bubbles up across the bond and she paces away for a moment, facing the treeline once again. It takes her a moment, the humor and mirth fading as she turns back to him. For all the times that I thought I understood Maeve, she never fails to surprise me, she barks out. 'Confuse' would probably be a more accurate term. It looks like we're all finding our own ways to fix what we destroyed. I won't get in your way, if that's what you're worried about. It made sense now, that look he had given her when he'd first brought it up.

Hak Etme is a place she had only seen the once, and much of that time had been under mental duress. It takes her a contemplative moment to remember what she could of it, taking a seat on the stone surface once more. It's hot, she says, eyeing him with humor that glints along the Attuned fabrications. More seriously, she tilts her head, it's vast and.. empty. A lot of hostile wildlife, though, when you do find anything. Landsharks and weird birds, among other terrifying things I'm sure.

Will you ever try to return to Halo? It's something that she's been itching to ask, though she's not sure how possible it will be for him. But he had made amends with Torchline. Granted, Queen Maeve is much different than Warden Morgan. Even from what little Aurelia had communicated with the Halovian, she seemed... stubborn and set in her ways, where Maeve was usually the opposite.

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

Time had its values – and sometimes it was only that, in between the personal growths and self-reflections, that prospered and offered change. Altered perspectives, when the rage settled, when the contempt fizzled, when the embers were simply cinders, then cold coals. The bond stagnated on the emotions, and he didn’t push, didn’t pull, didn’t shove his way into their manifestations, could understand them without winding through their deluge. I am not certain many of us want to be that. But life snapped and bit and tore just the same, and somewhere along the way, one either raised their hackles or submitted. It was difficult to figure when and where; and sometimes the end results were far more costly.

His head lowered a fraction, nares widening, sniffing at the mist, and only twisting back when the comment about Atlas being potentially recovered coiled its way into his mind. Would you ask Ludo? And what price would that wield, if the deity was willing and able to contemplate the request?

The round of her laughter caused his gaze to follow her, and then roll his eyes subsequently. It was humorous, and he wasn’t going to outrightly proclaim why, because his came from a much darker void. Instead, he permitted the mirth to volley through, remaining where he stood, but enjoying this round of amusements far more than the apprehensive, trepidatious moments from before. I will not get in yours either. Leave her to pick and choose how to navigate Ru; using whatever she’d learned from horrors past.

The desert, picking up what she parsed through, sounded like every other hellhole this land had to offer. He snorted at the hot comment, ears flicking back and forth, whiskers twitching as if he held back some other chuckle. He’d killed enough landsharks already in this lifetime; but maybe the future guild members yearned for a trip to something hostile. Nothing worthwhile? Unless one counted underground monsters and relics worth forging towards.

The last inquiry softened the reels of amusement into something quiet and calm again, a sort of resignment, determination, and tenacity long-since forged and not yet dimmed. Yes, but it wouldn’t be by bargaining with Morgan; not after lies and deceit, duplicity and disproportionate beliefs. When the time is right. When they’d set it up to cast their lot back into mountains.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

Aurelia fixes him with her gaze and contemplates her answer for a time. I would. Ludo guides souls to the afterlife, does it not? Maybe it can.. fish one back out, though there is very little hope on her end of the bond, there is instead a stubborn determination. A willingness to try, at the very least, even knowing it couldn't be so simple.

She would stay out of his way and he would not bar her attempts to correct things either, and she is more than happy to leave it at that. Let everything else fall to the waysides, have grudges and vengeance stop wreaking unrest upon her heart. She had already spent so much of her life allowing such a thing, and she would rather spend the rest of her days differently. She knows the walk of that life, it's the path she doesn't know that calls her.

The relic, they found it.. a rapier, I think. But there could be other lost items there, she admits, somewhere beneath the sands, most likely. Though the risk would be great. It's an idea, to say the least. What worked for one party may very well work for another, though she's not sure it would hold the same yields.

Of Halo, she can only tilt her head in both understanding and speculation. But she says nothing more of it. She didn't wish for it to be her business, or her problem. How things had ended up there was neither her fault nor included her, so.. she felt better staying out of it. She'd only been curious if he wanted to return, and it seems that he does. So eventually that might happen. Well, since we live in the same region - for now - if you want to train with me again sometime, I wouldn't mind. I could use the practice with magic again, regain my strength... and you are a good teacher.

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

I probably do not need to tell you to be careful. An arch to his tiger brow proportions, and a reel of memories flickering, flames and embers of years before, when Kiada had longed for the same. Rui’n’s soul, caught and tethered by LongNight monsters, still out there, most likely, even when Deimos had offered to try on her behalf. This would be a different aspect, but potentially still disastrous; inclinations drawn once more to Remi’s days of having Isla as a companion, rather than her soul embedded back into a human. However, since Aurelia (and by extension, Hotaru) had already pinpointed a rather impulsive streak, maybe the words did need to be echoed.

The relic found made more sense – rapiers, potentially other lost things buried in its midst. The risk is always great and he snorted, because it had been, in every snippet and walk of life amidst Caido. Even when one found their footholds and strength, they, or at least he, worried and contemplated about the efforts and abilities of others alongside, attempting to protect when the dangerous aspects flourished.

The offer thereafter surprised him, enough to make his great head swing back to glance at her. Especially since there’d been some underlying trauma, a trigger point he hadn’t known or seen, the last time they’d wielded magic for a singular purpose. We can, for he’d never minded teaching someone to stretch past their limits, to grow and push and strain until the strength sharpened, harpooned, over their senses. When they could see more than just the potential underneath bones and blood. Even the compliment shocked him – though he tried not to let it show. But you need to let me know if you are uncomfortable with some things. I would not have used certain magic, had I have known. Boundaries and limitations – while he worked on making them for himself, he certainly wasn’t going to bombard another’s. He wouldn't require the explanations, the history behind why and how - merely the simplicity of discomfort and the acknowledgment that it was there.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

I will be careful, she assures him with a small incline of her neck, the broad shoulders along her back shifting with the motion. Whether the warning needed to be said or not, she appreciates it nonetheless. She offers a sound of agreement at risks always being great; a chuff to convey her personal understanding - even as it unfolds through their mental connection.

What he says of training next comes as a slight surprise to her but, then, she remembers the first time they had practiced their incantations against one another. Her ears swivel backward so that the dots on their backs face him like an extra pair of eyes. She grumbles with discomfort but, it's embarrassment that leaks through the bond.

I admit I was not prepared for the extent of your magics, she says, but now that I know, it will be different. I even.. I wouldn't mind trying to face that particular challenge again... if only to be able to better face it should it happen in real time. A thing to consider, at the very least. Her circular ears perk back up and she lifts her large, formidable head. The point of her gaze turns outward again, to the vastness before them, as she says, I appreciate your consideration, but I don't want my fears to hold me back. Not.. anymore. It drives me to do things I end up regretting.

Hesitating, she looks back over her striped shoulder at him and asks solemnly, What do you do, when it happens to you? How do you face your worst nightmares?

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

With considerations in place, he listened again, the distinct edges of his silence calm and composed; the lull of waters along shore, or the fair crackle of a fire burning low. Always thinking, eternally methodical, he was still surprised by her explanation – if only because he’d been intending to be mindful and polite, and it sounded as though she didn’t want that. But the more she described, the more he comprehended, and his stare pointed over the mists and edges again, taking in the roar of the falls still bounding and leaping beyond, of the haze flickering and hiding everything far, far below.

Not wanting to be chained, tied, and tethered to those terrors, to those horrors, to those manifestations of what had made someone afraid and frightened. Reaching forward, ahead, daring to be bold and brave in the face of actions that had once bent, frayed, and marred. Understood, he rumbled, with some nuance of an inward smile.

That faded immediately at her question.

It was almost imperceptible, but there was a flinch there regardless. His eyes cast downward for a moment, glancing at padded, feline feet and weighted stone, trying to measure his actions over all the rounds of consequences, the fates of war, the felling of friends, and the ghosts that had pressed behind his eyes for what felt like centuries. Pushing onward, he finally admitted. Though it is never easy, and there are times I often just want to… succumb? Fall apart? Forget? Plunge it all downward? Become that dark, nefarious being he’d been before? Nonchalant and reticent, a weapon and nothing more? Sink. His ears flattened back against his skull, irritated that he likely wasn’t conveying it in a way that made sense. I prefer action over anything else.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

He speaks of taking action, but hadn't she done that? There's a riff of puzzling between them as she ponders it. I think I knew that, deep down, the reply is thoughtful, not blase or condescending, but my actions... have been thoughtless. When the Slagveld was on fire... deep down, it frightened me. It reminded me of what happened to my father, and he might feel the way she opens up within the bond, the way her heart feathers with release, his armory was burnt down, and him with it. I was just a child at the time, her claws flex against the stone, kneading them not with anger but with anxiety that pulses outward, along the fringes of her connection with Deimos. I thought I was past it but the Slagveld brought it back.

She moves rigidly, her paws shifting their weight along the stones until she is away from the edge of the cliff. I don't want to take action in the same way that I did then but, I know.. I might not be able to control myself if something... strikes that chord. She peers at him from the side, and though a tiger's expression can only hold so much nuance she carries one that seems quite worried, concerned, bordering on fright. What if the thing you fear most is yourself?

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

He couldn’t deny the relief when she didn’t press harder into his responses, and instead began a torrent of self-reflecting, inward notions. It gave him time to replace his guards, build the ramparts back, incline them upward until her sentiments and ruminations came through. And to learn her response had been one of trauma, rather than the irate, loathing, contemptuous wiles rendered him back into silence – because he rarely spoke of his own, and she’d stepped out on a limb.

Of fathers gone and burnt away. Of things replicated, repeating, vicious, vicious cycles they’d already been through once, twice, hundreds of times before. It has a way of biting back. Of finding those weakened moments, and contorting, rippling through any veneers, any pretenses, finding them at their base, at their core, and unraveling from there.

He stared very carefully over the mist once more, following plumes of the fog as it swirled before his eyes and drifted downward, into the vestiges and haze. I do not have any good answers for you. For he’d never been afraid of who or what he was – owned it with every fiber of his being, used it for the greater good, or to unfurl, unleash, havoc and vengeance where he thought it was deserved, warranted. But control over your thoughts and emotions is always a consideration. That had been cultivated in the depths of his instruction as a young boy, from war and heartache, from watching comrades fall to pieces upon battlefields, one by one by one. From protecting his makeshift family. From trying, so damn hard, not to be carried away by devastation and ruin.

The Sword eventually faced her again, piercing eyes pinpointing directly into her gaze, attempting to summon something, anything, to counteract the wicked balances in their lives. That is something you can practice in training. It will not be a predictor for everything, but it can clue you in on how you would react.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

Disappointment fragments across her attuned nature, her muzzle lowering so that her still-green eyes can rake across the cold ground beneath her. She doesn't know what she had hoped for in the way of answers, so none at all... was she doomed to forever repeat the cycle? Was she really destined to be nothing more than a dangerous, unpredictable killer?

The thoughts drag her down, make her sink.. Until he rounds back toward her, and the muscles at the base of her ears twitch with hopeful curiosity as she peers back up at him. Ways of being able to predict her own unpredictable nature, it sounded like an impossible thing. But so did a lot of other things, before Caido. ...And... I can learn to stop myself from leaping over the edge, she adds on, ears flickering as her head lifts back up, if I can manage my fear in simulated situations, then I'll get better control over myself in the long run.

She snorts, nostrils flaring. Sounds a lot easier said than done, she scoffs, but as she looks across at Deimos he won't find any real doubt within the words. She knows it will require a lot of effort and calling upon inner strength. Strength she isn't so sure that she has, but then... maybe it could be created.

When can we start? She asks, tipping her head to one side.

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you

DEIMOS

the resurrected sword

He rumbled an accord of agreement as she followed his line of thought. We did similar training when we were younger, fresh and bold, indifferent and stupid. Too ignorant of the world to realize the simulations played out could’ve been more than just games and airs, that one wrong move meant the death of a comrade. That it was sharpening the mind, as well as their frames, for moments ahead where the blood was real and their adversaries were tangible, whole, and ready for blood. You cannot let the fear control you. You control it. Easier said than done, perhaps, but he’d seen so many fight, be driven into flight mode, or be frozen in terror. He’d rather try than have her fall apart into the alternatives.

He tilted his head, a clear wanting arch of a brow there, an inward eye roll waiting to flicker. Nor was he going to feed into her doubting measures, even if they didn’t hold the actual distinction behind them. We cannot predict every situation, as that would be impossible, and he’d already been baffled, bewildered, many times over by the things he’d seen here. But we can at least tackle the knowns.

It was his turn to snort as she dug readily into timeframes. That depends on when you feel you are ready.

still standing

not because you can

but because you have to

Aurelia

Aurelia listens intently, her muscles contracting and relaxing with each shallow breath she takes. He says he'd done similar training when he was younger, and so maybe he was the perfect mentor in that respect. Someone who knew the how's and the what's, to help her harness some semblance of control over that which sought to be uncontrollable. Rage, fear, vengeance, vindication... And the anger. I need to find a way to look past that as well, she tacks on, tail slowly moving around her heel, just now, it was easier than I thought. Because we've had time, and we can speak.. like this. Fear makes me angry, and when things happen quickly... I react quickly. A simple problem in theory, but the issue has much deeper roots. She'd always been angered by that which she thought made her weak; fear, sadness, remorse. And that anger had fueled her continuously. She almost relied on it.

He seems fine with starting now. It's only up to her, when she's ready. She dips her head in a slight nod, understanding that she has to be fully prepared for whatever he might challenge her with. When I'm ready... I'll find you, she decides, not giving specifics. But she won't soon forget the agreement, it will lurk in the crevices of her afterthoughts. In those quiet moments when the world seems to go still, this conversation will crop up, reminding her that there is still so much work to do in order to be better.

With that, she turns away, facing the jungles that will lead her back to Torchline. She's not sure whether Deimos will follow behind her, or if he'll remain on the mists for a time after she's left. That's up to him. She offers one last glance over her shoulder at him, gratitude rumbling through the attuned bond, before she takes off in the direction of home.

---

fin<3

keep your face always toward the sunshine
and shadows will fall behind you