if you are the ocean then i would like to drown
NAAAATE <3
Sunjata Wrenzaok
the Flood
Guildmaster

Age: 29 | Height: 6'5 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 11 - Strg: 33 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 37 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
Played by: Skylark Online
Change author:
Posts: 6,236
MP: 1373
#1
i never got to ask you how you got so good
It feels like it’s been ages since Nate’s been back. In reality, it hasn’t been that long, but with Isla’s help, Sunjata’s managed to heal with a lot of Isla’s help, managing to no longer need the bandages that covered his neck. Now the scars simply needed to breathe, to heal more internally. They’re still red on the outside, puffy and pink and irritated, not unlike Sunjata’s own thoughts.

Ever since Haai died, it’s been a never ending mix of anger, territorialism, long nights of emptiness, the fear of going home without Nate to a companion they still needed to bury. So he’s tried to fill his days with the Infirmary, sticking things up on the higher shelves for Isla, helping organize for her when she got too busy, and other than that? Spending his time between here and the VlamVloed.

Today is especially bad, though, a sour and bitter mood cascading over him like a storm cloud, not unlike the snow that continues to pour outside. He’s finished for the day with helping out, but he isn’t quite ready yet to brave the cold. So he sticks himself at a chair at the front desk, leaned back, staring at the ceiling as he tries to let his thoughts simmer back into more comfortable waters, trying to keep the emptiness at bay.
pretending nothing matters, wish i understood
SUNJATA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent!
Reply
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 32 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 3 - Strg: 40 - Dext: 35 - Endr: 36 - Luck: 42 - Int:
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal)
Played by: Johnny Online
Change author:
Posts: 2,503
MP: 312
#2
// i don't wanna break but I did today
guess i only have myself to blame //
It takes longer to return than Nate expects, than he really means. Not for any bad reasons, which the ascended thinks will be his one saving grace, but to take care of things while he was already moving, to tick things off his ever growing list of shit to do so he has more time to while away into nothing with his husband, in their new home.

Nate tries the VlamVloed and finds it empty, quiet. Its too early in the day for the few regulars who can still indulge in its main draw, and not convenient enough to be a sanctuary from the sun save for the desperate. He’s not the type to stay put though, no matter how much more lost it could make him, and so Nate goes wandering. Sunjata wouldn’t go home without him, so he has to be around.

Unless he didn’t come back. The thought creeps into his head like a germ, small and easy to ignore at first, but growing, spreading into something that threatens to consume him. Quiet panic hastens Nate’s steps, sends him rushing towards the infirmary; even if she hasn’t seen Sunjata, Isla will have to have some idea about what to do.

All but throwing the doors to the infirmary open, Nate catches sight of Sunjata before anything else and rushes to him, vaulting over the desk in his haste to get his husband in his arms. “You're here.” He presses the words against the side of the attuned’s head, folding them up with a kiss like a love letter.
NATE
No permission needed to power play
Feel free to use non-lethal magic/force against Nate
Speaks with a light New Jersey accent that gets more obvious when he's strained

Reply
Sunjata Wrenzaok
the Flood
Guildmaster

Age: 29 | Height: 6'5 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 11 - Strg: 33 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 37 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
Played by: Skylark Online
Change author:
Posts: 6,236
MP: 1373
#3
i never got to ask you how you got so good
He doesn’t look up when the door opens, despite being behind the counter. There’s a part of him that selfishly doesn’t care if someone’s arriving and needs help, a part of him that doesn’t want to have to deal with it. But there’s another part that has a fraction of curiosity, still not enough to tilt his head but enough to keep him more aware of his surroundings. And unfortunately for Nate, he’ll be hit with the quiet barrage of warring thoughts, if the vast empty void left on his side of the bond.

At least, until Nate’s vaulting over the desk and reaching him, a blur that Sunjata’s wholly unaware of but relieved when it comes. It spreads through the bond like water washing away dirt, Sunjata’s arms immediately moving to cling to Nate, the bandages around his neck twisting with the movement of how he both tries to bury his face somehow into his husband as well as diving into the kiss. You’re back. He breathes mentally, trying to keep his sorrow hidden away but knowing Nate will find it there regardless.

He tugs Nate into him, pulling away just enough that his hands can lift to push through the uneven growing curls, to rest at the back of Nate’s neck as he scans his husband to make sure he’s okay, even if Sunjata isn’t. I missed you, skatjie.
pretending nothing matters, wish i understood
SUNJATA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent!
Reply
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 32 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 3 - Strg: 40 - Dext: 35 - Endr: 36 - Luck: 42 - Int:
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal)
Played by: Johnny Online
Change author:
Posts: 2,503
MP: 312
#4
// i don't wanna break but I did today
guess i only have myself to blame //
There’s something wrong in Sunjata’s mind, something rotten and hollow, something that gets washed clean in the relief of their reunion. Nate doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like the way parts of it linger even after. I’m back. Holographic arms still hold Sunjata tightly even as they part, Nate’s actual hands ghosting along bandages and then resting on his husbands shoulders gently. His fingers land at the edges of the attuned’s new length of hair, Nate playing with the waves absently.

I missed you too. It’s more important than questions right now, clearly Sunjata is walking, talking. I’m sorry I took so long, I... Nate shakes his head, shoulders rolling in a shrug. I didn’t know you were waiting. Leaning in again to press their foreheads together, he closes his eyes, letting the warm smell of the attuned wrap around him, settling the worry in Nate’s mind and replacing it with a calm too deep to even be described as relief.

Blue eyes open again after a moment, searching for steel as if he can find all the answers he needs etched there, if only to save them the pain of asking. Are you okay, Sunny? What happened?
NATE
No permission needed to power play
Feel free to use non-lethal magic/force against Nate
Speaks with a light New Jersey accent that gets more obvious when he's strained

Reply
Sunjata Wrenzaok
the Flood
Guildmaster

Age: 29 | Height: 6'5 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 11 - Strg: 33 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 37 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
Played by: Skylark Online
Change author:
Posts: 6,236
MP: 1373
#5
i never got to ask you how you got so good
The rumble of Nate’s voice is a balm against the emptiness and Sunjata clings to it desperately, as if he could listen to Nate’s voice enough to feel entirely whole again. He can’t and it’s unfair of him to try, but at this point it’s the only thing he can do. The fingers that tangle in his hair are gentle distractions and Sunjata does the same with Nate’s curls. It’s okay. He murmurs gently, mentally, trying to keep the slippery slope at bay.

It doesn’t work though, because the second Nate asks the question – that terrible, horrible are you okay, Sunjata’s face twists and he tries so desperately to keep the sheen from his eyes, the dark clawed void of pain from squeezing his throat. His lips twist, tug against the scar as he works his jaw, as that oil slick of brokenness slips back in and Sunjata tries to recoil from it before it devours everything. He tries to keep as much of it from Nate as he can, but it spreads and spreads like a virus in his side of the attuned bond.

His gaze drops from Nate, unable to meet the electric blues of Nate’s, instead focusing on the collar of his shirt, on the swirl of a tattoo along his arm from where it rests against Nate’s shoulder. Ek het Haai verloor… Even his mental voice quavers and breaks, his fingers trembling by where they linger on the back of Nate’s neck. I should… I should’ve left her at home and I didn’t and… He shuts his eyes tight, swallowing hard, managing to meet Nate’s gaze with a glimmer of tears in his eyes, the pinch to his brow as the tears begin to overflow. And now she’s dead.
pretending nothing matters, wish i understood
SUNJATA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent!
Reply
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 32 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 3 - Strg: 40 - Dext: 35 - Endr: 36 - Luck: 42 - Int:
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal)
Played by: Johnny Online
Change author:
Posts: 2,503
MP: 312
#6
// i don't wanna break but I did today
guess i only have myself to blame //
He knows something has happened, even before he asks the question, bouts words to the tension. They’re never lucky enough to come out of things like this unscathed, he’d been a fool to think his minor injuries were the worst of it. Nate bites back the concern beginning to bubble in his guts and instead raises a warm wall of comfort, meaning to cauterize the infection spreading through the bond.

No amount of preparation could have steeled him for what the truth is though. Nate can’t summon words, can hardly lift his hand to cup Sunjata’s cheek briefly. His fingers lift, pushing back a few stray strands of hair on their path to cradle the back of the attuned’s head. Every gentle ounce of strength Nate has in him pulls his husband closely, securely in against his chest.

I’m sorry, sonskyn. When they finally come, the words are quiet, distant. He’s shouting across a chasm he can’t see the bottom of, praying his voice reaches. Nate sucks in a useless breath and turns his head, pressing his lips against Sunjata’s head. I’ve got you.
NATE
No permission needed to power play
Feel free to use non-lethal magic/force against Nate
Speaks with a light New Jersey accent that gets more obvious when he's strained

Reply
Sunjata Wrenzaok
the Flood
Guildmaster

Age: 29 | Height: 6'5 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 11 - Strg: 33 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 37 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
Played by: Skylark Online
Change author:
Posts: 6,236
MP: 1373
#7
i never got to ask you how you got so good
If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. And for them? A constant fuck up time and time again. Only it feels like this one is different, if only because half his soul is gone, ripped from him, torn forcibly away and left him feeling more like a shell than a person. And with Nate back comes the reality that he dreads, the fact that he’s left her there, by the house, covered and waiting to be buried. He works his jaw, sucking in a sharp breath, trying so desperately to keep the tears within even when he can’t.

And when he can’t, he presses himself so hard into Nate that it nearly hurts as Nate’s hand push back a few stray hairs and he’s held so tightly that when Nate’s apology drifts across the chasm of a black void, Sunjata shivers with the breath he inhales even as he shakes. I am too. Sorry it had ever happened in the first place. He’s silent as he can for a while longer as he lets the reality sink in, as the hurt bubbles to the surface that he tries to keep hidden from Nate – a closed off block of obsidian hidden himself away, further and further into the cold recesses of his mind. I didn’t want to bury her until you came home. She’s… There. Waiting for us. He manages mentally as he presses and nuzzles his face in further, using Nate’s collar to try and brush away the tears. It's a mess. Paired with the final words he can muster is the sensation of an apology.

An i'm sorry that he can't quite find himself to say aloud just yet.
pretending nothing matters, wish i understood
SUNJATA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent!
Reply
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 32 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 3 - Strg: 40 - Dext: 35 - Endr: 36 - Luck: 42 - Int:
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal)
Played by: Johnny Online
Change author:
Posts: 2,503
MP: 312
#8
// i don't wanna break but I did today
guess i only have myself to blame //
Nate’s fingers brush absently through Sunjata’s hair, trying to be everywhere at once and solid and immovable at the same time. I know you are. Another soft, useless murmur. It doesn’t reach deep enough, not really. He understands just enough about grief to know he doesn’t understand anything, doesn’t know what will help or hurt.

Pemota’s warm bulk settles against Sunjata’s back, filling in the spaces Nate can’t and letting her light flow into the attuned. Thank you. The words are paced with the most sincere emotion Nate can manage, his voice shaking with it. He can’t cry, he’s the sturdy one right now, the one who’s put together, who’s at least less hurt. I know, Sunny. But we’ll take care of it together, won’t we?

A kiss presses against Sunjata’s head, followed by another, and another, Nate suddenly unable to help himself. He aches, a sympathetic hollowness ringing in his chest, and yet there’s relief too. They’d both come home at least. They’re in each other’s arms at least. I got you, darling, ek het jou.
NATE
No permission needed to power play
Feel free to use non-lethal magic/force against Nate
Speaks with a light New Jersey accent that gets more obvious when he's strained

Reply
Sunjata Wrenzaok
the Flood
Guildmaster

Age: 29 | Height: 6'5 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Nomadic
Level: 11 - Strg: 33 - Dext: 34 - Endr: 37 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
Played by: Skylark Online
Change author:
Posts: 6,236
MP: 1373
#9
i never got to ask you how you got so good
Yet again the Attuned is taken slightly off guard, with no blame set upon his shoulders, with the understanding that lingers between him and his husband. His lips twitch, tremble, tug at the corners and twist the scar that spans it as he buries his face to hide his tears and emptiness. Pemota is a temporary boon, a bandaid of sorts for the pain and hurt he has, but he appreciates it nonetheless — humming a quiet mental thank you to the Star whale.

Nate says they’ll take care of it, together, and Sunjata nods absently into his husband’s shoulder and chest, curling himself into the warm and strong confines of Nate’s large, strong arms. Yes. He croaks out, trying to breathe, trying to soothe the oily feeling he has within. His arms slip around Nate in turn, pressing himself closer as if he’s trying to make it hurt, fingers twisting into the clothes the Ascended wears.

I want to go home. He says even quieter through the bond, afraid that if he tries to project it louder, he’d send all of his self deprecating thoughts with it.
pretending nothing matters, wish i understood
SUNJATA
No permission needed for power play!
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent!
Reply


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