(SE) i think we're haunted

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

The frown lines on his face simply deepen, tugging at the scar on his cheek even more so as he sighs with Maeve’s long explanation. And perhaps it’s due to the fact Sunjata had grown up with both parents – one incredibly loving and taken far too soon, and the other a monster of a man – that makes him capable of saying he’d be better off without one of them. There’s no doubt in his mind that Maeve loves Edmund and would be there for him. If anything, Maeve would be similar to his own mother when it came to her son.

Eventually, though, he stops working his jaw when he can feel the vibration through his jaw afterwards as he looks at Maeve inspecting the candles. “Doesn’t have to be lies. Just tell him he left on an adventure of some kind. It’s better than the alternative.” Sunjata doesn’t know why Locke left or what all happened, being squirreled away in King’s End as he is. “Trust me on that.” He hopes she does trust him on that regard.

But she turns back, brushing away the curls of Edmund’s hair and her gaze meets his and when the jade meets steel, it’s clouded and cold and tired as if he’s shutting himself off from it, as if he doesn’t want to hear about how much more complete Maeve was with Edmund when Sunjata’d lost half his soul. “That’s what matters, isn’t it? That it's worth it in the end?” He asks flatly, his gaze remaining on Maeve’s face.

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

They both have mixed feelings on this topic. Maeve can tell. In the way his frown deepens and the muscles in his jaw feather. He isn't wrong. Maeve was better off without both of her parents and Edmund will be better for having her. She'll love him more than all the stars in the sky and the fish in the sea and the grains of sand on the beaches. Maeve would do anything and everything for her baby. Sunjata knows that too. Whether he voices it out loud or not.

And she does trust him. The request is soft and simple. His words reaching her through the din of the market as she selects the candles and has them set up to be sent to the Halenani. "Okay, Jata. Thank you for listening. I haven't.. I haven't had anyone to really talk to about it." Somehow they always keep confessing things to each other. Maybe it's because of how they met or something else entirely, but they always end up back here.

His gaze is cold and shut off and it doesn't hurt her to see him looking at her that way. Her lips twitch up at the corners and she offers a faint smile, "It is worth it. What else do you need? Let me get it for you. As a thank you."

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

“Sure.” Sunjata says quietly, in agreement with her thank you. After a second, he readjusts Edmund along his chest as she decides on the candles and their eyes meet. “You’re welcome.” He finally decides, once their eyes lock and she offers a soft faint smile his way. It isn’t reciprocated, but his gaze is less hard by the end of it.

“I… Well, I’m looking for blankets. I’m having something made right now but I thought a few blankets for the home since it’ll be cold would be a good idea.” He says softly, his scarred hand shifting to rest against the back of Edmund, Sunjata’s gaze lifting to look at the rest of the market to get an idea before landing back on her.

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

He doesn't smile, but a part of his cold exterior melts for her in that moment and she doesn't feel so shut out or alone in that span of breaths. Edmund seems to snuggle deeper against Sunjata's chest, tucking his face against his neck, breathing slowly and deeply as they meander slowly through the market.

The request is an easy one and Maeve nods in agreement, "I think we can manage that. I had some extras made for the Halenani, but you can take them and I'll just get some more made." It was easy an easy thing for her to do given her position and living situation. They make their way towards the little tailor shop, both pressing inside and ignoring the looks they get along the way. Maeve requests her order, waiting for the shop keep to get it from the back before she's turning to face him once more. "I know it doesn't get very cold here, but these are very warm. I'm sure they'll work well for you."

Her curiosity gets the better of her, though. Maeve looks up at him, reaching towards Edmund to rub his back, checking that he's still resting peacefully before speaking again. "What are you having made?"

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

It gets easier the longer he does it, though, and the more they wander through the market the more used to holding Edmund Sunjata gets. He follows Maeve closely, ignoring any of the eyes that may follow them, despite nodding to the few faces he does recognize from his time as Governor, and before long they’re in front of the tailor. “It’s fine, I was thinking of things a bit more… custom?” Patch work and homey. “I don’t mind returning to collect them.” He offers idly.

But then the shopkeep is disappearing into the back to retrieve the blankets from the Halenani and his gaze slips back to her. “You can keep the Halenani blankets, it’s fine, really.” He had a specific thought in mind for the blankets he wishes to be made anyway.

But then she asks him the hardest question and his gaze shudders a fraction before he looks away, idly wishing to do anything but this. “I’m… having a memorial made.” He takes a deep breath to keep his voice from cracking. “Haai was killed.” He doesn’t look at her, instead, he focuses intensely on a bolt of fabric they stand beside.

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

"Then something custom." Maeve agrees easily, waiting for the shopkeeper to come back out, turning her attention back to Sunjata. Edmund is sleeping soundly now. Nothing about him says that the way Sunjata is holding him is wrong. Instead he rests there peacefully, one fist curled into a fist in his shirt and the other up by his cheek. "You could borrow these in the mean time. It takes time for blankets and I'd feel better knowing you had something." Besides, the ones for the Halenani weren't exactly plain. They were finished with various florals and greenery, the patterns lovingly stitching into soft cream and gray fabric, clearly made for the living spaces and not the customers.

Maeve feels a sharp twinge of pain as his words reach her and she can't stop herself from lifting a hand to his arm, bracing there lightly as she takes a breath, deep and shaky. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Jata... I can't imagine the pain." She murmurs, knowing her words won't do anything to soothe him, but she offers them anyway in a vain attempt to comfort.

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

She seems concerned he doesn’t have any blankets and for a second it does spark a small ghost of a smile to tug at the corners of his lips. “Alright. I’ll return them then.” He concedes the point because it’s easier that way, and he settles in a bit easier with the ease of which Edmund sticks to him and sleeps quite soundly.

As for Haai, he shuts down quietly, her hand reaches his arm and he works his jaw silently, focusing on everything else where he can. And after a moment of deliberation he takes a deep inhale. “It’s empty. It’s cold.” The words are nearly swallowed by the hustle and bustle of the world around them, of the busyness of the street and the shops. “But it is what it is.”

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

He smiles. A ghost of a thing and no where near what he used to give her, but she'll take it in this moment. A part of her is soothed knowing he'll have blankets to keep himself and his family warm. Especially Kamaria. Maeve returns his smile with a small one of her own, nodding in response, "Good. They're very warm. Perfect for nest building." She teases, but the seriousness settles over them like a wet blanket and Maeve knows now how much it would hurt to lose a soul bonded companion.

The idea of Aidon being ripped from her is crippling and she feels tears pricking at her eyes as Sunjata gives her insight into that feeling. What it would mean to lose that part of her. "I'm so sorry. I know nothing will take that pain away or fill that hole, but I hope it gets easier." As if knowing that things suddenly free heavy, Edmund lifts his head, blinking blearily up at Sunjata as he lifts a tiny hand to press against his cheek and babbling something soft and incoherent. He wobbles a little and then presses his forehead against Sunjata's, slinging the arm that was holding onto his shirt around his shoulders in a kind of hug, as if he knew that comfort was needed.

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

“Mm, we’ll see.” Comes the easy agreement before the subject matter turns darker. The idea of nests pangs terribly against what Haai had always made, and he swallows hard as he explains what the feeling is like to Maeve. As soon as he’s managed it, though, the darkness sets into his gaze again, that hollow, cold glacial feeling that doesn’t lift even as Edmund starts stirring.

Instead, he watches as the child lifts himself higher, offering a small hug though Sunjaya knows it’s likely just to get more comfortable, and he sighs quietly as his gaze returns to Maeve. “I hope so too.” As soon as the shopkeep arrives again, Sunjata catches his attention, asking for a few blankets to be made — but one specifically in teals and blacks, with little orange fiery threads sprinkled throughout for accents. Maeve would likely know what inspired that particular choice — all while keeping Edmund held close not to drop him.

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

Her heart aches for him, noting that pain in his gaze, the way he shuts down again and she sighs softly. Edmund snuggles against him, heaving out a large breath, little body going limp again as he holds onto Sunjata. Maeve offers him a small smile, reaching over to give his arm another squeeze, "I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm here if you need anything. You know that." And whether he takes her up on that is on him, but she's there as a friend if he needs it. The shopkeeper comes and Maeve stands by quietly, listening to his order, but she nods at his choices. "I think that's a good choice. Fitting." Maeve murmurs, arranging to have her blankets delivered to the Halenani before she's collecting her basket.

"I need to get firewood too. What else do you have to get?" She asks softly, noting that Edmund is back to sleeping happily against his chest for the time being, content to stay put.

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

“I do.” Sunjata confirms quietly, focusing on other things, such as telling the shopkeep his order of blankets. He nods to the squeeze of his arm, in confirmation with her even if his attention is elsewhere, and when the order is done his gaze slips back to her, withdrawn as it had been before. “Thank you.” It’s a quiet uttering, shifting Edmund slightly in his arms as he turns to face her a bit more fully.

Firewood isn’t something Sunjata needs to get, between him and Nate they have a pretty good stock of it — and Maeve would likely feel the muscular tones to his arm with each squeeze of it she’s given him. “I think just the blankets. Maybe some more whiskey.” He shrugs, he’d only gotten as far as the memorial and the blankets, but with his freehand he gestures for her to lead the way. “After you.”

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

It was something she noticed despite herself, knowing that it's likely come from all the hard work he's been doing, but Maeve has other things to focus on. She nods at his response, pushing out of the small shop and back into the market, glancing towards him from over her shoulder. "If you don't mind coming along with me I'd appreciate it. This is the first nap he's had in days." Maeve huffs, shaking her head as she runs a hand through her hair, pushing a few loose curls from her face. Edmund was a good baby. He usually slept through the night, ate without issue, and was hardly ever fussy. There were moments, though, that the babe just didn't want to cooperate. The last few days had been trying.

"We can get your whiskey first and the firewood on the way back." Maeve suggests, pressing back into the crowd which parts for them easily, allowing plenty of room for them to move without issue. "How's Kamaria doing?" She asks as she starts towards their next stop.

Maeve

// the edge is getting closer, it's a long spiral down. it's so fun to fly 'til you hit the ground
i think i'm getting too close, i think i'm getting too close //

He seems a bit stuck either way – unable to say no with Edmund sound asleep against his chest, so much like a lost dog he finds himself following Maeve and offering a nod as she turns back just enough to look at him. “Sure.” He manages quietly, ignoring more of the looks as he slips past people to catch back up to the new leader of Torchline.

As for the whiskey first and firewood on the way back, he nods, easily slipping into the space beside her as the crowd begins to part to make room for them – all while Sunjata keeps a hold of Edmund to ensure he doesn’t tumble. “She’s good. Learning a lot. The usual.” He offers easily. “I think she likes it at the new place. There’s lots of space for her to play in.” That part of the move had worked out surprisingly well, the rest of it though had been a bit of a challenge. “And how are things in Torchline?” He asks quietly, casting a steel glance her way.

it's hard to get to heaven with my head in my hands

SUNJATA

"What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said.

With his agreement they set off, both ignoring the looks and the whispers they get when they're together like this. It seems it'll never end. There will always been opinions and thoughts about the Flood and the Nightshade. Maeve stays close to his side, occasionally checking on Edmund, ensuring that he's still sleeping peacefully against Sunjata's chest. She smiles softly at his words, "I'm glad to hear she's settling. Paige misses her, but that was to be expected." Her slender shoulders lift in a shrug, shifting the shawl that's around them to fall further down her arms. The younger girl would inevitably find others to fill her time, but the Nightshade couldn't blame her for missing one of her first real friends.

Jade meets steel grey and her head dips in acknowledgement of his question, "Things are good here too. We've almost finished with the fountain for Safrin. I don't know if you knew, but in the Court we're enabling the fountain to have healing properties." She explains, wrapping her arms loosely around her middle, finding herself surprised for a moment at how easy it is to do that again.

"I felt that there were many here who needed a chance to heal. I wanted to give them that." They had wanted to give them that, but Aurelia is gone and it's just her now. The fact of that still hurts to think about, but Maeve takes a breath, trying her best to push through those feelings of abandonment.

Maeve