I'll tell you no lies

the lullaby

The way up and the way down are one in the same
I'm calling an audible late in the game

"Quindi vai a fare amicizia!" Remi all but shouts. "Beh... forse tutti dovrebbero avere paura." He adds unhelpfully, knowing that as the adult here this fight was entirely his fault. Being bamboozled by his son's sudden insecurities was no excuse to act the way he was, and had he not left Oria at home, he was sure she'd have stabbed him in the eyeballs by now.

Turning around in time to see Mateo kick at what little there was on the ground, practically able to feel his little body vibrating with annoyance, Remi presses a knuckle between his eyes and then begins to repeatedly tap it harder and harder until his legs began to move.

"Mateo, wait." He calls out, abandoning both rakes in favour of jogging after his son. "Mateo, mi dispiace. Will you please let me try to explain?" Remi asks, reaching out a hand toward the boy.

If love is everything, love is pain
Certain spirits are too bright to be tamed

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Mateo hates that his eyes are burning and that his throat feels tight enough that it's hard to breathe, let alone speak. He hates that being so frustrated has brought tears instead of the anger that he wants to feel, and by the time Remi catches up to him he's scrubbing his hands across his face, as if he can rake them away the same way as he's been doing to the leaves.

"Cosa c'è da spiegare?," he huffs miserably, the words trying to catch in his throat. "Non ti importa di nessuno. vuoi che abbiano paura di te. Capisco." He doesn't want to turn and look at his father for fear that his tears will seem boring to him.

"Ever has dinner with his parents every evening. And he has a time when he has to go to bed. And he's not allowed to eat junk all the time, and he can't go out until he's finished his homework," he blurts. "And I thought it would be nice to know what that is like for one time."

the lullaby

The way up and the way down are one in the same
I'm calling an audible late in the game

Mindful enough not to sass his own son (at least, not anymore), the Lullaby kneels down though doesn't try and force Mateo to turn toward him. "Non voglio che tutti abbiano paura di me." He says softly. "Ma... non faccio un grande sforzo per non farli sentire spaventati." Sighing, Remi nibbles at the inside of his cheek for a moment, surprised to hear the mundane list of requests leaving his son's mouth.

"Well...you can have a bedtime if you like." Remi offers, wanting to laugh but deciding against it. "We have not given you those things because we trust you, and we know that you will learn from your mistakes. If you stay up too late and are too tired at school, you will learn to go to bed earlier. If you eat too much junk food and feel sick, you won't do it a second time." He continues with a small shrug. "Your dad and I want you to do things because you think they are the right things to do, not just because we tell you to."

If love is everything, love is pain
Certain spirits are too bright to be tamed

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

"Why?" Mateo wonders, using his shoulder to shove away the tears that keep wanting to seep down his cheeks. "Why wouldn't you want to do that?" Hiccuping in a breath, he hears his father out and clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times. Something burns in the back of his throat, something he doesn't know how to say. When he's older it will probably materialise in dreams as but that sounds so lazy, but for now he shoulders the burden of his own parenthood with little more than a nod.

"I would like to have a bedtime," he mumbles. "And I would like it if we went to dinner with Ever's parents. I am sorry." Turning at last, he all but flops into Remi's arms, trusting his father to catch him. "And I am sorry I threw the rake. It was not the tree's fault."

the lullaby

The way up and the way down are one in the same
I'm calling an audible late in the game

'Well...because it isn't good to always worry about what everyone else thinks of you." Remi replies. "If I spent my days trying to make sure that no one was afraid of me, I wouldn't have the time to do all the things I need to do." Shifting slightly and watching his son's shoulders shrug away his feelings and his tears, the Lullaby frowns. "I am sorry that Ever thinks I am scary." He wants to add I wonder where he got that idea, if only to make a jab at Finn, but he doesn't. "We can spend some time together the three of us, so that he can see I would never hurt him. How about that?" Because the truth was that Remi was scary.

"Okay. You can have a bedtime." Catching his son as he all but dramatically faints in his arms, Remi draws the boy against him. Able to feel the youthful rush of his emotions, bright and wild and ragged, the Lullaby swallows the shame he feels and wraps his arms around Mateo. "Okay. We will have dinner." As for the tree? "I am sure it has endured much worse. But we will water it extra to make up for it."

If love is everything, love is pain
Certain spirits are too bright to be tamed

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

Now it's time for Mateo to be tongue tied, and he shudders out a sigh and nods his acceptance to his father. "I understand," he says - and he does. "You have important things to do. And there is going to be a war." His mind so frequently tries to wrap around the massive concept of war and what it means and if people he knows will die, but it's just too huge, and he ends up purposely distracted.

Burying his head into the crook of Remi's neck, Mateo nods again. "Yes, please. I don't want him to be scared of you," he admits, his voice muffled, his wet cheeks undoubtedly leaving damp splotches on Remi's shirt. "There are more wine bottles than gin bottles in Ever's kitchen. I think we should bring wine." Sniffing, he straightens up. "I will water the tree. To say sorry."

the lullaby

The way up and the way down are one in the same
I'm calling an audible late in the game

"And, I selfishly like spending my time with you and your dad and your brother and sister, more than I like going around to make sure people know I won't hurt them." Remi adds, which is probably one of the more truthful things he's admitted to his son yet.

"Okay, we will make sure that he isn't." Remi vows, smoothing his son's curls and relishing the smallness of him. One day he would be a man, with whom such arguments couldn't be ironed out so quickly. For now though, the Lullaby just memorizes the feeling of Mateo's love at 11. "Gin it is."

Together they go back to the tree, collecting their rakes and adding extra water with murmured promises to be better about their tempers. With Mateo on his shoulders, the pair meander slowly back to the houseboat.

~FIN

If love is everything, love is pain
Certain spirits are too bright to be tamed

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!