unobtainable colors

it's the road that leads to nowhere

In comparison to the boggy swamps of the Feverlands, the river here is homier. It's quiet, until you sit still for a while and really listen. To the wind, the sweet sound that it makes as it crosses over the water; the water, the rhythmic rippling against the soft shore; the shore, where sand and soil and volcanic rock meld together to create the mesmerizing array of colors. The frogs, too. They plip and plop about, unperturbed by her figure as she kneels down in the shallows.

Her presence is gentle as she looks out across the colorful pools, the sunlight streaming out across them, creating a vivid display. It never gets old, no matter how many times she's been here, but she can't remember a single time where she actually stopped to appreciate a place like this. She had trained here with Deimos, using the water as a safety net to literally play with fire. She'd chased the frogs through the riverbed with Ray, as panther and panda.

She smiles and huffs out a small laugh at the memory. It echoes over the bubbling water, the nature around her so loud that the little sound doesn't seem to offend. From a satchel strapped around one shoulder, she retrieves a medium-sized mason jar. She pops open the top of it and dips it down into the shallows until it becomes completely submerged, watching as water and earth flood the small space.

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

Visiting Rainbow Road for the first time, Juniper flies slowly over the often-steaming waters, half-mesmerized by the colors and movement of this strange, beautiful place. Caido has so much to offer, such a beautiful and diverse landscape; isn't there room enough for everyone to live in peace?

But then the impending war isn't about land.

Juniper tries to push such thoughts away, to remain in the here and now rather than worrying about the future as she usually does. And, as she does so, she finds a distraction: a woman beside the river, engaged in some work that Juniper can't identify from a distance. As Juniper approaches, she recognizes the woman.

"Aurelia?" Juniper pauses, about to correct herself to Queen Aurelia, but that isn't right, is it? Though she's heard that Aurelia is no longer queen of Torchline, Juniper doesn't know the why, and it leaves her a little confused about how to address Aurelia. Not to mention that the last time they spoke left Juniper rather baffled (and a little offended) at the Torcher queens' refusal to consider an alliance with the Greatwood. But that's water under the bridge now, as far as Juniper is concerned. She lands beside Aurelia with a simple, "Hello. How are you? I hope I'm not interrupting."

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here

it's the road that leads to nowhere

Her name rings out in a voice that strikes her attention sharply - striking because she can't place it right away. And... hearing her name while surrounded by water brought up ill feelings, remembering when she'd been forever altered by the Wilds those seasons ago. It hadn't been long before she'd been lost in the haunts of that place, either. So when she hears her name she looks up as if she's seen a ghost, her face paling and her eyes widening.

But the sight of the sun shining through wings, blond hair falling over small shoulders, her guard and panic both recede. She squints, one hand coming up to shield her eyes from the light, until the Fae lands before her. "Juniper?" Her brows furrow and her smile wanes a fraction as puzzlement clouds her expression.

She looks down at what she's doing, realizing that she was, in fact, doing something. "Oh, no, you're not interrupting. I'm just..." Well, it's hard to explain. She has to shimmy the jar, grabbing it with both hands since it's been sucked down in the mud. With a gurgle that sounds similar to a belch, the water releases its hold and the mason jar is resurfaced. Except now, it's filled with brightly-colored soils and rocks, and the water within reflects those colors. Smiling, she holds it in her hand and snaps the lid shut. Then, she turns it over to Juniper, offering it out if the other woman wants to have a closer look.

She points out casually, as if she's just speaking her thoughts aloud, "I'm trying to have a piece of it for myself, I guess. Maybe it'll bring me some luck or something. Who knows..." she sighs softly, smile fading. Then she looks up at Juniper and asks, "What uh- what brings you all the way out here?"

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

Juniper nods when Aurelia speaks her name, and takes the jar when Aurelia offers it, carefully turning it over in her hands to examine it. She still isn't completely sure what Aurelia means to do with it, not until Aurelia mentions luck; then Juniper smiles. "As good-luck charms go, it's very pretty."

Offering the jar back to Aurelia, Juniper considers the woman before her. Aurelia sounds lost, tired -- very different from the somewhat arrogant queen with whom Juniper last spoke. Juniper can't help but wonder what occasioned this change, and ... "Is everything all right?"

When Aurelia asks why Juniper is here, the Fae looks around, sort of embarrassed to admit that she doesn't even have the odd reason Aurelia offered. "Oh ... I was just looking around. I've never been here before, and it's gorgeous." Juniper hesitates, but if she wants Aurelia to open up to her, she should probably do the same, so she gives Aurelia a sheepish smile and adds, "And I've heard rumors that this place is sacred to Rae. I've been wandering more lately, trying to ... understand the gods, I suppose."

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here

it's the road that leads to nowhere

Aurelia offers a polite smile in thanks, rising slowly to her feet. She still favors one leg, but the cool waters have been a balm to the heat of its receding infection. Gently, she takes back the jar, admiring it once more. Then she puts it carefully away into her bag, wrapped in a cloth first to keep the moisture from soaking everything else within. "I'm... alright," she answers a bit awkwardly, looking back at Juniper. In a moment of vulnerability, she admits, "I've been through a lot the last few months. I got injured in the Wilds and lost my way. Returning to Torchline has been... rocky. I guess I didn't make a very good leader after all." She offers a brief, saddened smile.

She listens, glancing up at Juniper, as the woman explains why she's exploring the area. Exploration would've been as good an answer as any, especially to Aurelia, who very rarely had much reason for exploring other than wanting to.

But the explanation, the honesty, doesn't go unappreciated. "Rae, huh? Those are the twin Gods of nature, aren't they? Unfortunately I'm only familiar with Safrin, so I couldn't tell you too much about them." Juniper was probably far more familiar with the Gods and how they worked, who they were, than Aurelia. And she has a distinct feeling that Safrin wouldn't be too fond of her communing with other gods or heralds, not that she's ever felt a desire to. "Haven't you chosen a God to follow yet?" Aurelia asks with a quirk of one brow. Or was that why Juniper was here; because she hadn't and she was still seeking?

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that -- are you all right now?" Juniper's sympathy is automatic, but no less sincere for that. It's her instinct to understand, to comfort, to ask after others. When Aurelia speaks of her leadership capabilities, Juniper frowns a little. "I don't think getting hurt -- or struggling personally -- necessarily makes you a poor leader. It's a lot of responsibility, and ... There's strength in knowing when to step down, too."

That last sentence comes with particular feeling. Juniper wonders almost every day if she's really the right leader for the Greatwood. She doesn't want to leave Remi leading alone -- nor, despite her embrace of outsiders, does she want to see the Greatwood led by a non-Fae alone. But sometimes Juniper thinks ... Well, if she stepped down, she wouldn't have to worry so much about the war and the way she'll inevitably be implicated in the Ascended's destruction. But she still can't help but feel that leaving to avoid the war would be cowardly.

Not that Juniper explains all of this to Aurelia right now. At Aurelia's question, she nods. "Rae represents nature and change. I thought ... If anyone might take a less, well, militant view to the current situation, it would be Rae."

As for Juniper's own religious choices ... "I've always worshiped the Mathair and the Old Gods, but I've never forged a personal connection to any of them. I've met Safrin and Ludo, but only when visiting shrines in a group."

And the knowledge that she still hasn't completed the quest Safrin gave her -- the quest that Alina had already failed in -- burdens Juniper's thoughts about that goddess. She anticipates an icy response next time she speaks to Safrin, even if she does manage to get the materials together and complete her quest.

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here

it's the road that leads to nowhere

"Yes- I got an infection. Thankfully the wound has healed," she returns the sympathy with a gentle, reassuring smile. With a soft sigh, she picks her way over to a spot to sit on the shoreline. There is a limp in her steps as she goes. "It's still sore but, I'm much better now." As much as she once hated being pitied, as much as she would often try to make herself appear stronger than she actually was, she feels no ember of vexation, no spark of defiance. She'd done poorly, for herself and for Torchline. She saw no point in hiding it anymore. But her attention catches on the lingering, undefined edges of Juniper's sentiments. "I'd never been leader of anything before," a thoughtful frown takes precedent on her brow as she turns to look across the shimmering waters, "I jumped at the chance because I thought it would make me a better person."

Aurelia takes off the satchel from her shoulder and sets it down neatly beside her in the grass, listening to Juniper's answers. She remembered something someone had told her, once, about Frey being more neutral toward the Abandoned. Perhaps Juniper was onto something with that; maybe Rae and their herald were less militant, less condemning of views and people.

"I have only spoken with Safrin twice by myself," she admits, glancing down, "but she gave me a chance. That's all I needed. I think I picked her because people warned me that she would be the hardest to please. I knew that, if I received her favor, it would be because I'd earned it." Her hands stroke the blades of grass beside her, absently ripping small tufts, "I come from a different world, I was a different person. I lost everything that mattered to me, everything I'd worked toward, but... I eventually realized that Caido wasn't a loss. It's an opportunity. I could change, I could make up for what I was before by being better here. Safrin has done nothing but help me in that journey." The last sentence is spoken with a hoarseness in her voice, regret straining her throat.

Swallowing her emotions down, she turns her face back to look at Juniper, "Sorry. I know you're looking to hear more about Rae or Frey. I've never met them but I've heard a few things - I'm sure you're right. When it comes to the Gods and Heralds, you should trust your gut."

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

"I'm glad you're doing better now," Juniper says with a kind smile. She follows Aurelia, her wings making it unnecessary for her to pick her way through the uncertain ground, and sits down beside the Fireheart, not too close, not too distant. As Aurelia speaks of leadership, Juniper nods, thoughtful. Juniper had become a leader of the Greatwood to serve her people, not for self-improvement, but to say so feels like an accusation -- and Juniper doesn't wish to judge Aurelia's motives. As a diplomat, Juniper's desire is to understand, to see someone else's point of view, not to tell them her own. "You thought it would make you a better person -- were you not happy with who you were? I mean, if you don't mind talking about it."

Listening to Aurelia's words about Safrin, Juniper again catches that edge of self-doubt: I could make up for what I was before, as if Aurelia had to atone for her previous existence. And perhaps she did -- Juniper had no idea who Aurelia had been before Caido; she could have been a murderer, a monster. But again, Juniper seeks to understand and sympathize rather than attack. "I know it's hard to be an Outlander, to be ripped from everything you've ever known. My people and my home mean so much to me -- I can't imagine having to start over without them."

For a moment Juniper falls silent, facing a traitorous thought: there is a certain appeal to the idea of having her life so abruptly, forcefully simplified, to being snatched away from all her worries and responsibilities. It's not something she would ever choose for herself -- or impose on someone else -- but perhaps that's what Aurelia means. "That said ... I don't know what you've been through, but I can understand reinventing yourself." After all, Juniper had gone from pariah to leader in just a couple years -- even if certain Fae still looked askance at her, still whispered behind her back. "Whatever you've left behind, I'm glad to hear that you've found a home here, too."

Juniper nods at Aurelia's description of Safrin; she can see how Safrin's high standards would make her regard more valuable, more meaningful. Though Juniper notes again how Aurelia seems to feel the need to earn respect rather than have it accorded to her. But she doesn't comment on this, instead saying, "I know Safrin's favor is to be treasured, though ... I fear I, and the Fae in general, have already disappointed her too often. To be honest, I've never visited a shrine for personal reasons, only on behalf of my people. There's ... not really anything I wish to request for myself."

An ironic smile crosses Juniper's face. "Not that I wish to boast of being selfless or anything. Unfortunately, my heart's desires are ones that the gods cannot" -- or, in truth, will not -- "grant."

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here

it's the road that leads to nowhere

Aurelia shakes her head. "No I wasn't, but it's not as simple as that," she remarks, of being unhappy with oneself, "when I had my sisters to care for, I had purpose. So when Safrin offered me power, I hoped that I could use it to help my people. My new family. Take care of them. Hence the... fountain," she folds her arms in her lap and her shoulders fall, "but that doesn't matter anymore, I guess."

She nods in deep, emphatic understanding of Juniper's sentiments about her home. A sad, barely-there smile softens her expression and she looks away sharply, out at the waves, where the colors overlap. "I miss my sisters dearly. My home..." she pauses, gaze turning down, "it wasn't a good place. I only wish I could've brought my sisters with me." As for what she'd been through? It was too much to put into words now, now that she's had the time to process it and examine every square inch. But maybe it's Juniper's understanding, sweet nature that prompts her to open up: "I was a bounty hunter. Not for the fame or fortune. I was searching for a mage that murdered my father and.. it was all I could think about. It haunted me. Drove me to places that I never ever want to go back to. I have a lot of blood on my hands... some of it's innocent, some of it isn't." She eyes Juniper from the side, wondering if it would be appalling news to the Fae - or if she would view it with the same level of empathy as everything else Aurelia had said so far.

Aurelia can't attest much on Safrin's forgiveness, only that she'd been given a chance, been forgiven for the curse of her own blood, but... for failing or disappointing the goddess? "I'm afraid I've disappointed Safrin, too. But I think she would rather we face her than hide from her. In the end, she wants to be loved and appreciated just the same as you and I." Is it strange, humanizing a god? Aurelia doesn't think so. It's the only thing that connects them, that gives a better understanding. She smirks, "Well, maybe a bit more."

Her brows raise curiously and she looks more directly at Juniper now, "What are your desires that even the gods can't grant them to you?" Must be a mighty tall order.

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

"I see." Juniper nods; she definitely understands what Aurelia means by needing purpose. When Nephele asked Juniper to join Alina's administration, to become the Fae's link to the outside world, to serve her people -- it had changed Juniper. Not overnight, of course, but she'd gone from outcast to leader, from alienated to central, and it's hard to overstate how much more connected to her people and the world around her she feels now. "I also lacked purpose, before Nephele recruited me into the Fae's leadership. It felt like finding my place ... Even with any doubts I may have, I've never regretted answering her call."

The tale of Aurelia's family brings a sympathetic frown to Juniper's face. "You've lost a great deal. Perhaps your sisters will make it to Caido one day ... " As for Aurelia's past crimes, they do give Juniper pause, but she doesn't react with disgust or recriminations. Rather, she considers the idea of forgiveness and atonement, finally saying, "You can't undo the harm you've done in the past, but you can live your life in the future so that you put more good into the world than you've taken from it."

Juniper nods again as Aurelia speaks of Safrin. "It's definitely better to ask forgiveness than to simply let a god hold a grudge against you. But I would hope Safrin will not begrudge you your troubles." As for Safrin wanting love and appreciation ... Juniper's lips twitched when Aurelia smirked. "She certainly wishes to be close to her followers' hearts. I don't think she's the herald I would ask for favors, honestly."

Then Aurelia's question makes Juniper a little self-conscious. It must sound strange, to have a wish that not even the gods can grant, but it's true. "I desire peace. I want the different peoples of Caido -- including the Ascended -- to coexist without strife, and the gods seem dead-set against this."

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here

it's the road that leads to nowhere

Aurelia offers a soft smile at Juniper's own experience, being called to leadership and flourishing thereafter. "I'm glad you found your calling," she says kindly, looking over at the woman, "Was it difficult for you, when you first started?" She leaves the question more open-ended than not, wondering how Juniper had overcome those initial obstacles and pressures that leadership placed upon oneself - but leaving it for her to determine what was or wasn't difficult.

Juniper's sentiment is shared and Aurelia nods in ready agreement. "I hope so," she replies, but says little else of it. It's been so long, become such a far cry; she tries not to hold onto the hope anymore. More than anything, she just hopes they're alright - wherever they are. But as she eyes Juniper, trying to gauge her reaction to the darker truths, she's met with more understanding. Again and again she's met with this same kind of encouragement, but every time she's surprised by it. "I'm trying," she murmurs, glancing back down toward the water below.

She can understand the Fae's take on Safrin, understand that the herald wasn't for everyone. There were others to choose from, and when it comes down to it that's all it is; a choice. And Aurelia certainly can try to encourage others toward Safrin but, she could not force them to pray to her. She would never try. So she lets the topic settle on that point; rather than adding more to it, she stops to listen to Juniper's deepest desire. And what she says strikes a chord.

"I see," Aurelia smiles longingly in this desire they actually share, "I want that, as well..." she admits, picking up a stick and beginning to poke it around in the mud beside her, "Admittedly, from the beginning, I thought that maybe I could change Safrin's mind about them, with time and proof... and if I could do that, maybe it would change.. everything. But then the Oracle declared war and now? Now, I think I was just being naive."

but all I wanna do is go there

Aurelia

code credits go to Skylark!<3

"Thank you," Juniper says. With a gentle smile, she adds, "I hope you will find something that speaks to you as well." As for her actual experiences as a diplomat -- Juniper nods. "It was quite challenging at first. I had always been a loner -- not exactly by choice -- and to reach out to others ... It scared me. At first it was almost easier to reach out to outsiders than to my fellow Fae." Juniper gives a self-deprecating little laugh. "And, of course, facing the Ascended themselves was terrifying." She's particularly thinking of Wessex, of venturing into the Wraith's home with no assurance that she would even come back. But Wessex turned out to be less of a monster than Juniper had believed. "Every time I did something that I hadn't thought I could ever do, it encouraged me to try the next thing that I'd thought to be impossible. And then the next thing."

Juniper nods; though she's ready to let the subject of Aurelia's past drop, she has one last thing to add, one last drop of wisdom -- one last platitude, someone uncharitable might say, but Juniper believes it. "All any of us can do is try."

Another nod, as a slightly bitter expression crosses Juniper's face. "I had plans. I was working towards peace ... It was going to be a hard road, of course, with no guarantees, but it would have been better than ... And then the Oracle spoke, and all of that went down the drain. Ever since, I've ... struggled."

Juniper

"art nouveau winged fairy" by e³°°° is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit here