& you pay for your sins

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

By the time Remi arrives, it will be with knuckles stripped down to the bone, with eyes made hollow and empty from tears, and with a soul dangerously unmoored. If he could have been drunk he would have been, but despite his best efforts to exhaust his body and his mind, the Lullaby was far too aware of each and every poor decision that had led him to this place.

Once upon a LongNight Remi had begged Ludo to bring Isla back to him, thereby promising his soul to the herald. It seemed a small price to pay to keep his best friend in his life.

Then, during the last eve of Leafchange he had killed her as that debt was called in. That, too, seemed right, especially when one considered how little of Isla's brilliance had been left in the body Ludo had placed her in.

Now, Remi would ask to forget her. The cost this time was on par with his bargain to keep quiet about Safrin's trickery when it came to Vanya; perhaps it was even higher. He would pay it, without regret or hesitation. Loving Isla had never been a choice—it hadn't even been the sort of thing that made sense, but gods he did. He did, he did, he did, and he would never stop.

That soon the cavernous agony he felt inside of himself would just be gone seemed both impossible as well as unfair. The thought of it had brought him to his knees several times throughout the night, and now that he stood before Ludo's shrine, he was similarly lowered. With one hand against the bark of the tree and with his head bowed, Remi closes his eyes, fixing Isla's face firmly and brightly in his mind for the last time. "Ludo.." He calls in a ragged voice, drowning himself in a world of pebble-blue.

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

LUDO

It is a position of privilege and ego, to believe that after a brush with sudden and permanent death (as a result of one's own idiocy, no less), that the remedy to the situation will come as a request.

"Remi." Ludo's voice is cool and uncharacteristically stony, older than the body that houses it, and although it is the dark haired youth that appears before the demigod, the fury that swells within it is necessarily godlike.

Of course, it is angry only because it cares. It is angry because something had almost been taken from it, after so much work, so much patience, so many gifts. "You fall short in many ways," it says, "but I have never doubted your intelligence before."

Lifting its chin, the youth examines the Lullaby with eyes blacker than a starless night. "Say it, then."

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

The Remedy to the situation indeed.

With his eyes shut against both the inevitable as well as Ludo's (entirely accurate) assessment of him, Remi thinks of her. Turning his head away from the dark eyes that so mercilessly watch him, the Lullaby pulls from his own memory the night he and Isla had watched the stars together. There she sat looking so real in one of her favourite ball gowns. Her hair in curls, her blue eyes shiny with laughter. If he reached out his hand to take one of hers, could he trick himself into believing it was real?

Did he want to?

Though he has no more tears left to cry, still his body tenses and shudders with a sob he keeps caged behind his teeth. So close to what Must Be Done, even his grief feels like something too precious to just sob out into the night.

"I have to forget you." Remi whispers to his illusion, though that Isla merely wrinkles her nose in his direction. Always did the alchemist wish for just one more time with Isla, but just now he was reckless and heartbroken enough to offer up nearly anything.

Nearly.

"Make me forget her." The Lullaby whispers, turning his head back to Ludo. "All of her."

---

Magic: Psychometry | Can create complex illusions with full sensory experiences based on memories. Must be in contact with the person whose memory he is replicating. The illusion can range up to 30ft. When used on Ludo-chosen deaths, removes their pain as well.
Type: Dark | Rank: Mastered

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

LUDO

"Good," says Ludo, its eyes never leaving the demigod even as he conjures his illusion, mourns for it, misses it. "This has been a weakness of yours for far too long, and it almost cost you everything. Be careful where you place your sentimentality in future, sweetling." Already the illusion is fizzing away, like sand being blown across a dune.

"If it helps, I will fill the spaces she leaves with something better. Be still. This will hurt."

And this will hurt is likely the last that Remi will remember of this, in both words and in action. Ludo is petty and childish and whimsical in nature, so for it to deliver this punishment salvation so brutally, without so much as a quip or a joke, is only testament to its severity.

Isla is not wiped from Remi's memories - she is burned away, leaving the chasms where she dwelled raw and aching and empty. Not for long, though - the fire is not a metaphor, and it surges through Remi's body and soul, searing its way into the new space left in Isla's wake.

REMI

the alchemist

I've said that hope I'll never find
To my myself I must confide

Remi's world goes from pebble blue, to starless black, to red.

And red, and red, and red.

We might say something here about the purifying nature of fire and how it cleanses. About forests burned down only to come back stronger and more full of life. Something about phoenixes and folklore, but that would be to put far too a romantic twist on what ultimately is just a stupid tragedy. It would also be to suggest that this is something the Lullaby might learn from, but those with a good memory will very much doubt this. This isn't the first time—nor even the second—that Ludo has hollowed out and shorn away that which has blackened the alchemist's soul.

It is the first time, though, that it has hurt, and there will be few places within the Greatwood that are spared the sounds of the Lullaby's screams.

~FIN

That there's no choice outside your mind
when your heart is overthrown

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!