[SeEv] things my heart used to know

MaeA There was a lull in the revelry when the musicians changed shift, and Maea took the chance to slip away for a moment. Her head was spinning from being twirled around through more dances than she could remember, and possibly from the glass of sweet honey wine someone had pressed into her hand. A taste like summer and happiness lingered on her tongue, music drifting along on the night wind as she stepped out of the circle of light; beckoning her back, urging her feet to continue the dance... but she resisted, if only for a moment. A clear sky greeted her as she breathed in deep of the cool night air, full of starlight and blue shadows. Away from the tantalizing aromas of food and perfume, flowers and spirits, the scent of the earth rose up to greet her. The fresh green of newly sprung leaves, dew in the grass and a heady, dizzying fragrance of raw, tilled earth mingled together in a harmoni that sang of Flowerbirth. Her smile turned wistful as she gazed out over the fields. A thin mist was drifting languidly on the breeze. Far off trills of a blackbird pinches at her heart... Why was this season always so bittersweet? Beautiful and painful all at once, so full of hope and wonder all while the deep melancholy of Deepfrost still lingered. It would be easy to get lost in reveries on a might like this. Forget about the music and the laughter to drift away on some half-conscious dream... or escape the world in the arms of a loved one, foregoing one sweet delight for another. Perhaps she might have been prone to dreaming of bygone days, to remember people who were no longer by her side... But while the night was quiet and reflective, Maea was not, and she had banished both sorrow and regret for tonight. There would be enough of that come morning. The girl turned away from the starlit fields, the mist and the lonely bird, let it sing for some other aching heart. She was not lonely, nor was she alone; she sighed happily and twirled, the skirt of her white dress and the unbound hair swirling as she hummed along with the distant music. Pale as a silver moon. Gleaming bright in the dark, like another candle lit to honor the new year. you're so cold, but you feel alive.

"If you would prefer that I take another form, do say so." At some point in Maea's solitary dance, Ludo had vanished from around the albino girl's shoulders, and in its place stood a form that she would find oh so familiar indeed. Noah Valair had died at LongNight, and his family along with him. But Ludo ruled the memories of the lost, and he was able to pluck her brother's visage from her mind easily enough. So it was Noah who stood before her now, dipping into a bow and holding out his hand. "I have never danced at Fiat Lux. May I have this one?" LUDO Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own

MaeA She turned as Ludo spoke, smiling if a bit puzzled at the sudden comment. "Hm? Why would I...?" But the dark rags and the blank mask she had expected was not there. They had been replaced by a lean young man, om the short side but still taller than herself by a head. Tanned skin and a mop of golden hair made his blue eyes even bluer, smiling at her just like always. Trembling hands went up to cover quivering lips, but though she tried, though she really tried not to cry her brother's features still blurred and swam before her eyes as unbidden tears overflowed. Noah. It was Noah, bowing and asking her to dance... It was, and it wasn't, and in her chest something tightened painfully. Was she happy, or sad or...? Maea couldn't tell, didn't know or understand... but she smiled through her tears and nodded, took the offered hand. Warm and strobg, calloused from a lifetime of hard work but so gentle, always careful not to cause harm... such was her brother. To see him again, to be allowed a final dance was such a blessing, a wonderful gift she wouldnever have asked for, not anticipated. Swallowing hard to ease the tightness in her throat, the white-haired girl placed her other hand on his shoulder and let the distant music and Ludo guide her steps, swaying in tune with the rhythm. "Thank you" she whispered softly. "I couldn't be more happy, or grateful... But you don't have to do this, Ludo. Don't you want to be yourself for your first dance?" you're so cold, but you feel alive.

For a being who did not often take a shape with legs, Ludo could dance. It enjoyed the rhythm and the melody, and the facade of Maea's brother slipped an easy arm around her waist so that they could enjoy the music together. "If I were myself I'm afraid I would not reach even your shoulder. Either that, or I would not have feet to move." It chuckled, as though amused by the prospect. It did not seem to mind Noah's form, anyway, twirling Maea in time with the music and smiling down at her with his smile. "We had a deal, did we not? A festival for your eyes." LUDO Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own

Maea Big dreamers shoot for open skies The explanation brought a smile to her lips, and a glimmer of mischief to her eyes. "I didn't know that being shorter than me was even possible. I might actually enjoy being the taller one for a change... Though I admit this isn't bad either." Sighing happily Maea leaned into her brother's semblance and rested her head against his shoulder as they swayed to the music. Keenly aware that that it was really Ludo behind those smiling blue eyes, she was content enough just to see Noah's face again that it didn't matter if he was real or not. Perhaps a part of her was embarrassed to be so familiar with the god... but then again, after today it didn't seem like a bad thing. They'd had fun together, and Maea was dangerously close to thinking of her raggedy company as a friend. Was such a thing permitted? Or possible? With her being what she was, and after making such foolish mistakes... "Yes" she agreed. "We did say that. Though today has been like a reward in itself, I couldn't really ask for more. It would feel greedy."

"I do not think you would enjoy it as much as you think," Ludo said with a wry smile that looked perhaps a little strange on Noah's face. He twirled with her and danced and held her as close as her brother would have, had he been alive - memories were precious things, and Ludo was very skilled at mimicry. But then the time came to speak of payment - Ludo's payment to Maea, in truth. "You are not asking for more, sweetling. You are asking for what was promised. That today was good was a happy coincidence - it was not the payment we agreed. However, there is always a price. I can return one sense, but only in exchange for something else." What that something was... it was Maea's choice. Her hearing, her sense of smell, a hand, her fertility, her ability to feel an emotion... Ludo wasn't picky. LUDO Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own

MaeA 'Try me' she almost said. But though she had become bolder of late, more open in her ways and less fearful, daring a god to do anything was quite a bit more than Maea was ready for just yet. So she swallowed the words for all that they tickled on her tongue, laughed and swayed and savored these moments. Every second, every heartbeat of it. They were precious too. Because she knew they couldn't last, and soon enough these memories would be all she had again.   The answer was reassuring and eased some of her guilt. It still didn't feel right to be payed for doing something fun, but a bargain was a bargain... and the girl did really want her sight. So she stopped arguing and considered instead, sorting to herself the things she found necessary. Eyes to see and ears to hear, a tongue to speak and hands to write, those were vital. She would have given her spark of magic if she could, but Ludo had already told her it wasn't possible, so that was no option. Pain... She considered giving up that sense for quite some time, it was very tempting. But wouldn't that be making things easy for herself? Without pain or tears, how would she know when she had made a mistake, and learn from the scars that followed? In the end, she picked one out of a million impossible choices, and while there might be regrets later, Maea opted for the thing she knew meant least. "My ability to bear children. You can take that. Family is important... but I don't need ties of blood to love anyone, least of all a child." She would be the last of the Valairs, the end of a bloodline spanning five generations and more... and while she felt some regret at that, there was also an immense relief to be freed from the burden of living up to a legacy. you're so cold, but you feel alive.

Ludo had stopped their dancing as Maea considered what she wanted, the god clad in her brother's body watching the skies overhead, the branches that reached and the leaves and blooms that budded and spoke of life. Life that, if Maea was to be believed, would never stir in her. The deity glanced down at her, holding her gaze for a quiet couple of seconds before he simply nodded, a smile on his lips that said that he understood. "Then so it shall be." Reaching out, Ludo placed his hands gently upon her cheeks, tilting her head up so she could gaze into his face. Into the eyes of her brother. "Do not blink," he said - no sooner had he spoken, Maea would feel what felt like hot needles driving forward, right through her eyes and into her skull. An unfamiliar ache would start to stir somewhere lower, too, as Ludo warped and withered one part of her in exchange for healing the other. Never would Maea bear a living child. But oh, would she see. "How is that?" he asked with Noah's voice after a while, stepping back from her. Should she blink a couple of times, she would quickly behold the world around her with startling clarity. LUDO Braved the forests, braved the stone Braved the icy winds and fire Braved and beat them on my own