From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
”Don’t feel bad.” Phoebe said, hearing how he trailed off, knowing how he would put extra burden on himself. ”I was happy to help, and you needed it. Going forward I know you’ll be even better.” she said in light encouragement. His confidence had always been lacking and surely none of this helped, and he hadn’t really had anyone to give him that since…well since he told her to leave she supposed. She figured Chris and Milly might say some nice things but she doubted the words of toddlers did much to lift his burden.
Phoebe blinked at him in confusion as he spoke of Remi. ”Uhm…I don’t know? Maybe, why?” she asked. A small smile curved her lips as he spoke of one of his sisters that had died during Long Night. That to her seemed like big progress, since he had never talked about any of them individually, just as a collective. ”My big brother always tried to scare off my big sister’s boyfriends. He was a big Miura bull shifter. He always said only those who would stand their ground were both strong enough to be deserving of them and stupid enough to deal with their antics.” she said with a light laugh. ”Of course, that second bit was always just to make them mad on purpose.”
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
"Well, I'll try..." Emmett mumbled, though he was smiling; he didn't want to make promises he could break but he liked the idea of having hope, of trying despite it all. Of Remi, after realising Phoebe hadn't heard his warning, he just shrugged. "He just seems it, is all."
He listened to her speak of her own brother until she mentioned his shift was a big bull. Automatically Emmett's hand went to his stomach where the monstrous bull had gored and ripped his side during Longnight, where he still had a puckered and aggressive scar that would never fade. He was sure it was not the same, couldn't be, but there was an automatic pang of fear.
"Did any of 'em stay?" He asked, then leaned up from the fence to look to where some food was cooking nearby, the smell tantalizing. "...Could I treat ya to a meal?"
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
Trying was soemthing at least, and really, what more could she ask for? But that he though Remi seemed the protective sort just because he had said 'hello have a nice afternoon' did confuse her, and she tilted her head a bit to the side in confusion. "He did?" she said, clearly bewildered by his assessment, still completely in the dark about the threats he received.
As soon as his hand went to his torso she realized the mistake she made and looked at the ground, a frown taking hold of her features. She had tried to forget that the bull that attacked during Long Night had looked like her brother. As much as it terrified him it pained her to see Brahm's visage twisted in such a vile manner. "Brahm would never have done that." she said quietly, though more to soothe herself than him. Of course, she had not been as vocal as Emmett about how Long Night still affected her.
"Oh yeah, my sisters were really pretty so they had no trouble finding fellows willing to stick it through." she said with a light laugh. "They all got married almost right at 16 and started having babies. My mother would have called me an old maid by now." she said with a small smile.
But she clearly was no maid, and the signs that she wasn't became clearer everyday.
"That would be nice." she said about the offered meal.
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
Emmett just shrugged in answer about Remi, hoping Phoebe would let it pass for now. Perhaps soon he'd tell her about what had been said, but right now when things were just getting back to normal he worried words about their difficulties could set off another series of fights he wouldn't be able to stop.
She noticed his hand and he felt guilty, not having wanted to imply he believed her brother was guilty. "No, course not." He agreed, turning to smile softly at her, the expression not quite reaching his eyes. The wound had healed well but still twinged with pain sometimes, still stopped him from reaching up too high with a tug on his skin. It would always be a reminder, and...well. Emmett wasn't sure if he'd ever keep a bull again.
Heading towards the food stalls he reached for her hand. "I guess if you're an 'old maid', I'll be an old man." He laughed. Marriage had always been something considered good in his family, likely to bring in more children to help out and keep the legacy going, but there had not been specific pressure on any one sibling for it.
As they reached the stall he looked over the array of goods. Spiced meats, sweet pastries, lighter things...usually his family provided something too, little platters of vegetables or pots of stew, but...maybe next year, he told himself. "What d'ya want, Bee? Get as much as y'like, all of the farmers trade between each other for this kinda stuff."
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
She smiled a little back at him, as disingenuous as it was. "Does it still hurt? I've some cremes for my work that could help it." she said, asking about the scar. She doubted he was taking care of it like he should be after all.
She was happy to take his hand, actually smiling a little. "Oh no, my parents had much different standards for fellows. You just barely qualify for marrying age." she said with a light laugh. Her sisters had all maddied men a couple years older than them. Not a lot. But enough to be established in their careers and able to support a family. Those were the sorts of things commonfolk parents like hers had really cared about.
"Uhm..." Phoebe bit her lip, looking over what the options were, but feeling indecisive. "You pick, you know what's good...just...not something with onions if that's okay?" she said, looking over at him. She didn't dislike onions but...as of late they very much disliked her.
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
"Nah, not that much, not unless I bend over or...lean up or to the side...or cough..I guess it still does hurt, huh?" He laughed, finally admitting what bravado had tried to stop him from saying. "I guess that creme would be real helpful then, thanks." Emmett's attempts to ease the pain had mostly been numbing the feeling with alcohol or leaning in close to the fire, the heat seeming to help a little for a few minutes before it began to burn.
Barely qualified for marrying age. Emmett smiled but said nothing, suddenly wondering about when, if ever, he wanted to get married. He still felt far too young, but he'd known people younger than him who had had marriages, had even been excited about them. Would it...be Phoebe? He glanced across at her. They were only just beyond a hurdle that had ended them so he didn't want to make any assumptions, but he supposed he wouldn't mind that, as scary as the idea was.
He was taken from his thoughts by her request. "No onions? Huh, okay..." Emmett could have sworn she'd gladly eaten his mothers stew before the attack, which had been packed full of the things, but he wasn't about to pick a new fight over something so inconsequential. He got both of them a potato pastry (spiced, with a crispy shell, one of his favourites) and took her to a spot to sit down, a little out of the way of the festival but still with an eyeline to his brother and sister, who were busy following a teacher in a sort-of-right version of an old harvest song.
"I always really liked Fiat Lux. You uh...did you have anythin' like this back where you were from?" He asked her, taking a bite of his food.
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
As Emmett began listing off all of the situations in which his scar pained him she slowly began to smirk; just waiting for him to realize that they all fell under the category of existing. When he did she laughed a little. "I'll get you some then." she promised.
But he did seem to note that asking for no onions was odd and she glanced down at her hands which she clasped infront of her abdomen. If he knew certainly he would understand. But he didn't and she hadn't planned to say anything but...how long could she really hide it? Was it better to not know and be shocked when it was unavoidable or know now and add one more thing to his list of worries?
She really was a burden, wasn't she?
Phoebe quietly followed him to the table and took a small bite of her food before setting it down. It was delicious but now she felt anxious and distracted. "H-huh? Oh...yes we had similar festivals. The biggest one was in the fall though right after harvest time. It was the Heroes Celebration. It lasted a week, celebrating one of our major historical figures." she said, chewing her lip nervously. She had to tell him. It wasn't right not to.
"U-uhm...Emmett...I have to tell you something." she said, cleary anxious. "Uhm...I'm uhm...I'm pregnant..." she said quietly, struggling to say the words out loud for the first time. But as soon as she did her nervousness bubbled over. "I-I don't want you to worry about it though, I can take care of myself and you've already got so much to worry about I don't...I know you said I am too much to deal with and this is just one more thing so...but I just thought you should know." she said, looking down at her lap and falling silent.
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
"Hero celebration, huh? I don' think we have anyone we celebrate like tha'.." He mused as he ate his pastry, quite happy in the moment to just think and eat. When he was a child he had had games and day dreams of adventuring to far off lands outside the barrier and returning to a march, but those ideas had long since been crushed by the reality of farm work to be done.
Phoebe said she had something to tell him and Emmett turned to look at her. His first thought was that she had found another boyfriend in their break and he put a nervous smile on his face, ready to congratulate her and bury his heart.
But what she actually did have to say completely shocked him, left him with his mouth open and his jaw uselessly moving without forming words. "You...y-you...I...you..." Unable to formulate any kind of sentence he stared down at his own lap as he tried to take in the information. Pregnant. That meant another baby in the house, this one his. No longer would he just be a big-brother-turned-substitute-dad, but a real father.
He didn't at all take in Phoebe's words about handling it herself. Emmett could see no option but to take responsibility as well; after all he had half the blame. There wasn't any excitement in his voice, but a shaky attempt at comfort as he reached over to take her hand. "...We'll...work through this together, yeah?"
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
Phoebe dared glance at Emmett after she gave her admission. She shouldn’t have felt guilty she thought; he was the first to know, she hadn’t hidden anything from him. Yet to see the shocked look on his face, the shocked, not-particularly-happy look no less made her stomach drop. Maybe she should have kept it to herself. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything and just…pretended it had nothing to do with him. He had enough to deal with, things were difficult enough for him, and telling him about this, adding one more worry, had been selfish. She should have kept this burden to herself.
The tremble in his fingers as he took her hand, the almost monotone, dutiful tone to his voice…it made her nauseous. For the first time since she realized why her body had been acting so strangely she felt panicked. Pure, unadulterated panic. What was she going to do? Emmett was absolutely in no mental or emotional state to help her. She was basically entirely on her own. She couldn’t really ask Remi for help, he already had Aoife to worry about, Roana was off and away doing stupid hero nonsense barely keeping track of her own kids, and if she told Rexanna she would end up telling Bastien who would undoubtly do everything in his power to make her feel like human trash. Her breath felt short, the world spun even as she sat still, and stars appeared in front of her glassy eyes that stared off into a blurry distance. Phoebe had been tossed from one difficult situation to another like a rowboat on the open sea, and each time she managed to keep everything afloat; but she wasn’t sure she could stop this ship from sinking anymore.
She pressed her lips together and swallowed a lump that formed in her throat, shaking her head as she looked at the table in front of her. ”Th-that’s not why I said anything. I’m not looking for help, I know you’ve got far too much to deal with and I am just…too much of a burden to you on my own much less....” she said quietly, stopping short of repeating the news and shaking her head a little. ”But…but you deserved to know. You deserved to hear it from me, and not through gossip or be taken by surprise. That’s all. I don’t want to make anything more difficult for you so…so I will work through this. It’s okay.“
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
Emmett was surprised to hear Phoebe deny his help, having thought she would have been pleased to have them both ready to work on the situation. Their whole relationship was proving to be a crash course in how to effectively communicate, and he felt like right now they were at best getting a C-.
"Bee. You ain' a burden, and I'm gonna help. If it helps think about it this way: I..I'm gonna be a dad right? So I deserve to be a part of it's...their...life. I wanna know my own kid, not be a dad who ain' home. Sides, I can' leave you. That'd be real bad of me." It felt surreal to be having this conversation when just this morning having his own children had felt like a distant possibility, but it was clear he meant the words from the way he leaned forward in earnet and squeezed her hand.
"I know you're tryina help me, but I'm not gonna let you try to do alla this yourself. We'll make a nice room somewhere for the baby and they can grow up with Chris and Milly too. And....and if you want...I'll marry ya, if it'd help. Anythin', Bee. This is half my thing and I ain' gonna forget that."
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
Credit where credit's due, he wasn't taking the opportunity to run.
"I'm not sure anyone would blame you if you did." she said quietly. With all the stress he had in his life right now, to then add a baby into the mix? She figured there were plenty of folk who would rush to his defense if he had decided to leave her high and dry. But...he wasn't...which surprised even her. It was endearing, really, and she lifting a hand to carefully dry her eyes before the tears could spill over and ruin her makeup.
At the mention of getting married she quickly shook her head, which probably would have surprised anyone that knew her. "Having a baby is no good reason to get married." she said, almost like she was reciting it. She had seen that scenario play out plenty of times and it never ended well. Marriage only provided familial stability when it was done out of want not perceived necessity, and clearly it was not a prerequisite for baby making.
"But...you're sure you want to take this on...with everything else?" she said equal parts concerned and a little surprised.
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
"I'd blame me if I did." He insisted, absolutely certain he wasn't going to give up on this no matter what she said. There was a sick nervous coil in his gut but he was a strong lad, stubborn when he had to be, and Emmett would not let Phoebe suffer on her own. He had seen single mothers, heard the whispers and seen their struggles in managing it all...he was sure Phoebe could handle it herself but he didn't want her to have to.
She didn't want to get married, which was no bother to him; it had been a proposal for her benefit had she wanted it, not a genuine confession of love and desire for commitment. Though he supposed promising to help her with the baby was just as good a version of that... "I'm takin' this on. It's not somethin' I can push off. It's my duty, and...maybe it'll give me a focus."
With another child to look after he would have to really work to get the farm optimal, to finish converting the barn and destroying the old house. To grow up. "..Maybe...maybe it'll be fun?"
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
She couldn’t help the small smiled that curved her lips. ’I’d blame me if I did.’ The stubborn, assured tone he took when saying it, clearly not willing to yield or compromise because he thought it was the right thing to do. For a moment, it felt like the old Emmett was back. The one she met in the market. The one who cared about her, even though she was an Outlander. The one she fell for.
Give him a focus? Little did he realize most new parents found themselves more scatterbrained with exhaustion than focused by a new little one. Perhaps it would help him find a new purpose though, a new reason to try to live life to its fullest again. She could only hope if it were true that he wished to be as invested as he said he did. But when he said it might be fun she couldn’t help but start to giggle. ”Fun? That…is not how most men would describe it in my experience but…more power to you.” she said with a small smile, unable to hide the adoration in her gaze.
”I appreciate you staying.” she said quietly. ”Especially because you don’t actually have to.”
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy
"Dillion always used t'say that jobs're ten times easier if you try t'see the fun in 'em. Don' see why that can' apply here." His oldest brother had had the attitude to turn a day mucking out the stables into an adventure, had always been ready to go in the morning with a sunny smile on his face. Emmett had been no less willing but had found it hard to adopt his glee in the tasks. Now it felt like a good way to honour his brother, keeping his morals and mood in mind.
She thanked him, which to Emmett was absolutely bizarre because there simply was no other option. It was stay or be a horrible person, and he'd done enough of feeling like one of those.
Now that he was starting to come down from the shock a little, he stole a glance to her stomach. Looked normal to him for now..."So...when did ya know? Do y'know...when it's gonna...happen?" He hoped he had at least a few months to prepare and build, get ready for what would no doubt be a life-changing event.
Emmett
It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?
