[SE] Star-Crossed [Cont]

PHOEBE

Phoebe smiled a bit. She remembered that Dillion had been a very positive sort of fellow in the brief time that she had known him. It seemed fitting that if he was using him as an example that Emmett would be too. ”Well, I will remind you of this when there are exploded diapers and you haven’t gotten more than a few hours sleep for weeks on end and you’re about ready to lose your mind.” she said in an almost teasing manner. Only almost though…because that scenario was a pretty likely possibility.

She saw him glance towards her stomach and couldn’t help but laugh a bit. ”I only recently found out. There is still about the better part of seven months before I’m due.” she assured him. Very late into Longheat, very beginning of Leafchange was about when they could expect the baby to arrive. She would have a much clearer idea as well once she finally started to have more obvious symptoms.

But now she didn’t really know what to say, and stared down at her hands on her lap. She bit her lip, trying to put together the pieces of what her life was now, where things stood, what normal was going to be for now. ”So…what are we then.” she asked, glancing up at him. He had broken up with her. But…they were having a child together and he was going to help, but they weren’t getting married…and they had only just come to some understanding recently…It was complicated. Why did things always have to be complicated?

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"I mean...that just sounds kinda like my life now. I don' sleep much and I clean up plenty a shit." Emmett laughed, shrugging. He knew it wouldn't really be so easy when it happened but he wasn't ready to properly face it, not here. He needed to be somewhere he could nap and cry in the dark.

Seven months was a while to get used to the idea, at least. Seeing Phoebe get bigger would make it feel very real, he thought. Too real. "Y'got any names in mind yet?" She'd had more time to think than he had. At the moment all that came to his mind was names for cows or pigs, things like Daisy or Humbert. It seemed like naming would have to be her job.

Her quiet question was one he had known was coming but he still inhaled sharply as he heard it, not having prepared an answer. "Uh...well, w...what d'ya wanna be? If you're gonna come over and we're gonna have the kid and all I'd say y'were my girlfriend again but..." He shuffled his feet. "If..y'wanna be with some other guy with less...stuff goin' on. I'd get it."

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

Phoebe smiled a little as he tried to wave off her description of what raising a baby would be like. It was admirable how he tried to view everything with a positive lens. But sometimes she wondered if he let himself have a moment of anxiousness. "You don't have to be positive all the time you know...but I appreciate that you're not telling me off." she said quietly.

Names? "Oh no! Not yet. I...am just coming to terms with this myself." she said with a light laugh. Besides, it was still early. Things could go wrong. She didn't think they would - she was young and healthy and...well maybe a little stressed as of late but she doubted that alone would give her trouble. Still, names wouldn't come for some time. Phoebe only just knew that names needed thinking about after all!

He didn't really give her a straight answer to her question and she glanced down at her little pastry. What he did say, how he described everything, was exactly what she had been worried about. "I don't want you to be with me just because of a baby." she said quietly, looking back up at him. She would have a baby with or without him at this point. "It's...it's whether you want me like that or not. You were the one who told me to leave that day." she reminded quietly. She hadn't wanted their relationship to end. She had wanted to work it through but he told her to leave instead. Did he want to be with her? Did he care about her or was this just a matter of pride and honor for him?

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"I gotta be at least a lil positive. Or I'd just give up." Emmett insisted. He wasn't blind to the difficulties he would undoubtably face, but he couldn't just take them on all on at once. There was already far too much going on in his mind at the moment with his families (still rather recent) deaths and the endless responsibilities of the kids and the farm.

She said she hadn't as of yet considered names and he was glad to leave that be for now, one thing he didn't have to worry about just yet.

Emmett had thought Phoebe would be pleased with what he had said but she drew in on herself, looked at him as if he had answered incorrectly. "Bee, of course I wan' you like that. I just...didn' wanna say somethin' like that in case y'weren't interested and y'thought I was bein'...weird. I dunno." He shrugged awkwardly, then slowly attempted to take her hand. "...I'd love to kiss ya right now, actually."

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

The positivity was a cover; at least in this case it was. She smiled a little, but it wasn't a particularly happy one. Phoebe felt badly for him in a way. Things were so difficult he basically had to pretend that things would be fine when it all felt hopeless. It was a hard position to be in. "Well...if you ever need to just...let go for a little...Ive a shoulder you can use." she said softly.

Her head tilted to the side a little as he seemed to consider the idea that he wanted her obvious. "It's not of course though, Emmett. You're the one that ended our relationship because I was too much." she said a bit more bluntly, to make clear why it was important for him to delineate what he did out of duty from what he did out of want or other emotions. "Maybe it's awkward or weird but that's the sort of thing I want...I need to hear. The baby is going to come regardless of what we are to each other...and being together will only make things easier if we want to be together...because otherwise I'll just be too much again and you'll send me away again." she said looking down.

Her eyes glanced towards his hand as he took hers, smiling a little. "Nothing is stopping you." she said with a little smirk as she looked up at him.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"Yeah, I...I think I've had enough breakin' down for a season. Maybe later." Emmett laughed but it was hollow, free of any real joy. He felt like there was a timer on his grief, an unknown amount of time he was allowed to be upset before everyone was sick of it. He had to just bury himself for the sake of the future, for the sake of everyone else.

Phoebe insisted again that it wasn't this easy, that they had difficult things ahead of them, that he'd called her too much. Honestly Emmett did not remember a lot of that time, the period where he had told Phoebe to leave. He didn't remember saying it, but wouldn't deny it. He knew he'd been in some dark places and had probably lashed out more than he'd meant to.

"Bee, I...I've never felt the same way about no one as I feel about you. Why wouldn't I wanna be with ya?You're nice and y'work hard and you're real pretty too." Emmett smiled shyly and with that said, went to kiss her lightly with his hand coming to curl around hers.

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

Phoebe squeezed his hand a little and gave him a small smile. "Whenever." she said quietly. Whether it was this season, or the next, or the one after that, she did want to help him. She wasn't sure how, but perhaps this time he would be more open about his feelings, about what he needed from her beyond basic child and house care.

"Because I am too much. Or you just don't want to." Phoebe said softly, glancing down for a moment. Just because he thought those things of her didn't mean he wanted to commit himself to her more than he felt he had to because of he baby right? But he didn't really give her time to come up with more reasons why he wouldn't want to be with her, capturing her lips in a kiss she had not realized she so desperately wanted. She leaned closer to him, kissing him back eagerly as her free hand wrapped around his waist in a pathetic attempt to keep him from moving away again.

"I won't be too much this time. I promise. I'll do everything I can to not be burdensome." she said just barely above a whisper, her worry and concern etched to the tone of her voice.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"I..look. The 'too much' thing. I...I don' think tha', I really don'. When I said it I was prolly drunk and angry at somethin' that wasn' you and I...I musta said it but I didn' mean it. So...can y'try to..not take it on too much?" Emmett squeezed her hand, trying to smile encouragingly and hoped that she might understand that he definitely no longer (or really, had ever) considered her too much or a burden.

Phoebe was clearly into the kiss at least. Emmett breathed out a soft, quiet moan into it, his fingers lightly stroking down her sides. She didn't have to worry about him moving away at all: it would take several people to pull him away from her in the moment.

Emmett stroked her hair, ran his fingers through a strand at the front. With the festival sun on her face she looked especially beautiful and he could see himself doing this again and again, until her hair was grey and his fingers wrinked. "We...gotta learn from before. But now...can it be me and you?"

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

Her brows knit together a bit. He...didn't even remember saying that to her? She had literally been obsessing over that fact (and the Outlander thing) since he had broken up with her and he didn't even remember saying it? For a moment she wondered if she should be mad about it. But she couldn't muster the emotion. Instead she was thoroughly relieved. If he didn't even remember saying it, certainly he couldn't have actually meant it? She smiled a little and nodded. "Yes, I can." she said softly.

Her head naturally tilted into his hand. It really was quite lovely having one's hair played with - and she had a lot of it to be played with. Phoebe nodded in agreement that they needed to learn from before. It had been a rather crash course in how to not argue in a healthy manner. But...that shouldn't be the dwelling point. They were both new at this. It would take time to figure things out... but they could do that together she thought.

'...can it be me and you?' That phrase sounded so sweet to her ears. She couldn't help her broud smile, feeling her stomach do flips and heart begin to race. "Yeah, I think it can." she said with a grin.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"Oh, y'can? Good. Tha's great." Emmett smiled wide. He had expected Phoebe to hold onto the comment forever, keep it darkening her heart, but he took her at her words and hoped they were true. He didn't want one thing from a drunken mistake to keep the rest of his life from being the best it could be.

She agreed it could be them and Emmett was overtaken with joy instead of despair for once. He jumped up and was about to pick her up, spin her, but stopped with his arms hovering about her as his eyes flicked down to her stomach. "...Oh. I prolly shouldn't spin about a pregnant lady, huh? I'll just..." Instead, he stood up and with a clearing of his throat, held out a hand to lift her up in a much calmer manner.

"Should we go tell the kids? And...maybe I can show you where we've been livin'. I've made the barn kinda a project of mine, lately. It's amazin' what you can do with a lotta time and some wood."

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

It warmed her heart to see him smile like that. To her, it seemed like ages since she had seen that expression on his face, the way it caused the corners of his eyes to crease, the shallow dimples in his cheeks. He was cute. But she would never call him that - no, no she had learned very young that boys did not appreciate being called cute. They were handsome and manly...and sometimes secretly cute. So instead she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, smiling back at him.

And his sheer joy at her agreement was enough to make any girl feel good about herself she thought. But just when she thought he was going to pick her up he froze. Phoebe blinked at him, wide eyed and confused. He glanced at her waist then expressed his concern...and she couldn't help but giggle. "You can pick me up and spin me, it won't hurt anyone." she assured him. At this stage the baby was actually pretty well protected, so tiny and tucked away. If anything happened it was beyond either of their control. But even once she began to show, a spin wouldn't do more than make her a bit queasy at worst.

He was intent on shocking her it seemed though. "You've been living in a barn with the kids?" she said in shock. She figured he just...kept them in that back room and the upstairs of the house. Or they had been staying with a neighbor. But a drafty barn? That had no stove to cook or heat, no bathroom, no rooms, no anything house-like at all except four walls and a roof? Oh no. This would not due. "Emmett, you can't have kids living in a barn that is a construction project that's dangerous!" she chastised lightly. They could hurt themselves on his tools or get sick from the animals or hurt by the animals or any number of possible scenarios she could think up!

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"Well..if y'sure..." Emmett surged forward and lifted Phoebe, gently spun her once then set her down - still a step down from his usual enthusiasm but still enough to make him laugh happily as he spun, feeling her dress billow out around them and his hair move in the wind. Setting her back down, he wrapped an arm over her shoulders and kissed the side of her mouth, a smile still on his lips.

He wasn't expecting such a reaction to his barn home. The kids loved it! They got to have a bed up on a balcony (because ladders were perfectly safe for small children) and had been allowed to decorate their own room. As for animals...a lot of them had died in Longnight. All that was left was a couple of sheep and one cow, who lived seperately in the back.

"Hey now, y'ain' seen it yet. I made sure it was safe before I put the kids in. It's got good supports and doesn' let the chill in. I'm still workin' on stuff like a kitchen, but it won' take long. Have a lil faith!" He tried to smile reassuringly as his youngest siblings rushed over, having seen the both of them together again. Emmett could see from the look of excitement on their faces they would have something to say about it.

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?

PHOEBE

Her hands found his shoulders as he spun her around, unable to help the girlish giggle that escaped her lips as he did so. It wasn't a fast spin, but she had to reach up and right the flower crown on her head when he finally set her down. He would have no difficulty keeping her close either, as she leaned into his side, smiling up at him adoringly; because for all their communication issues and bumps in the road, she did adore him. That was why him sending her away had hurt so much after all. The flames of first love were always the hottest, so its burn stung the sharpest. "See? Perfectly fine." she said cheekily.

Emmett of course defended his barn house and she just eyed him skeptically. She wasn't certain that they had the same idea of what qualified as 'safe'. But she kept her arms wrapped around him, despite her obvious skepticism in what he said. "Fine. I'll hold my judgement until I've seen what you have all worked up." she said, kissing his cheek.

But of course, they were soon interrupted by Chris and Milly. She smiled at them, turning away from Emmett then to greet them. "Hello, Chris and Milly! Are you having fun? It's good to see you both!" she said brightly.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

"Bet you'll be impressed when you actually see it." Emmett insisted, though he did hope he'd have a chance to tidy up a few rough edges before she came around. There were things to paint, sharp corners to sand...that one hole in the roof to fix...(he'd made it over his bed, so it was alright. The rain was...refreshing, he told himself. Like a free wash).

Both children ran close but Milly went the extra mile and clung to Phoebe's leg, pressing her face into her skirts. "Phoebeeee! I missed you!" She yelled far too loud for how close she actually was, excitement clearing running through her. Chris turned to Emmett and asked: "Is she gonna stay this time?"

Emmett kneeled down to talk to his brother, glancing up at Phoebe. He wouldn't tell them about their new nephew or neice, not yet, but he smiled and nodded. "Yeah. She's gonna be 'round." Both of the kids yelled their happiness at this and he laughed, looked at Phoebe: "I think they might like ya."

Emmett

It burns too bright
I think about my self a lot 'cause it's the only one I've got
I've earned this life
What have I done to earn this life?