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Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-01-2025
As the sun rose in Stormbreak, Zavien was filled with dread. The sharp emotions of recent events had been dulled, but the decisions had only just begun. He'd given himself LongNight to cherish the time with Lena in hiding before he had to leave, and as the first glow of sunlight filtered through the window, his deadline had arrived. Koa had just come back from a trip, making it the perfect opportunity to tie up loose ends before he set out on his quest for self-improvement; however, it didn't change the fact that he was leaving. He was actually leaving, his home, Lena, Koa, and everyone else. Leaving them in the clutches of the Family.
But not forever.
He kept repeating that part to himself. Over and over, he vowed to return. He would secretly visit when he could, sneaking moments with Lena. At least until it felt safe enough for him to come back. Or until he felt strong enough to do so.
Zavien still hadn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning on the couch as the images flashed through his mind, waking up in cold sweats with Sol laying on his chest to ease the panic. He wasn't sure how much Lena noticed, but he tried not to perseverate on the issue, pushing out soft smiles when he could. It didn't feel right to make things harder. Despite their time together, he hadn't broached the topic of her leaving with him again. Tal had been right. He needed to trust her, to let her stay while he worked through things, even if he was terrified of leaving her.
Awake early enough to see the slowly rising glow of morning, Zavien had chosen to abandon any hope of sleep. Instead, he walked to the kitchen, hair mussed and eyes tired as he found the supplies to make coffee, the elixir of life. While he prepared the pot, Sol sat on the edge of the couch, watching his every movement like a mother hen. It was enough to loosen the hold of anxiety in his chest, knowing that he had such a diligent bodyguard to travel with.
He poured the steaming black coffee into a mug as he spotted Lena. His voice was gruff but pleased as he gave her a soft smile. [say]"Morning."[/say] The smile was tinged with sadness, lined with nerves and apprehension for what was ahead, yet Zavien pushed it away as he pointed to the rising sun. [say]"Want to drink a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise with me?"[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-01-2025
Nothing felt any better. She’d put on a brave face and pretend, but the tension snapped through her lungs and she hated every ounce of it. Processing the incoming alterations had been enough to gnarl at her normally, even keeled presence; the calm just a glamour and veneer. She didn’t want Zavien to feel as though she was abandoning him, when she simply couldn’t vacate the world where the ties of responsibilities were so woven into her very existence.
She aspired and conspired the same routine in the morning – up well before sunrise, showered and dressed for the day’s long work of going up and down the pathways of the Celestine, tending, mending, assuaging, soothing, before winding back home or within the Dragoon’s outreach, catering to whatever was needed.
Hair braided and pinned for the day, she’d wandered out of her room, going quietly through the halls and roaming towards the kitchen; striving not to wake Zavien on the couch – to discover he was already awake and within the threshold. [say]“Hey,” [/say]she murmured back, presenting a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. His expression did nothing to alleviate her concerns or her own heartache, and she bit at her lip, taking a long breath and trying to find the wherewithal to line across her shoulders. [say]“Of course.” [/say]She padded her way towards him, finding a mug in the cabinets.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-01-2025
Before Lena could reach for a mug, he offered the full one in his hand, already palming the extra he'd pulled from the cabinets. As he filled it, he glanced up at her, admiring the way a few strands of hair were already falling from her braid from the morning's work. Zavien didn't want to stare, but there was still that urge to commit everything to memory, to cherish each moment like his last, so he had to consciously pull his eyes away to glance at the sky that was starting to turn the purply orange of sunrise. Not wanting to miss the big moment - the end of LongNight - he moved to the door, opening it to let Lena exit first.
Following, he settled against the railing of the porch, leaning forward to take in the rays pushing up from the horizon. Despite the melancholy mood that had tainted everything, he tried to give her a warm smile. [say]"How was everyone this morning?"[/say] It was one of the things he'd distracted himself with recently, investing his thoughts in the plants and animals of the Celestine rather than the purple lurking within their city. He liked to hear Lena talk, letting himself get lost in her voice, especially when she got passionate about a particular creature's progress or small personality quirks. Things might be different today, but he wished they weren't, and he hoped to pretend like it wasn't for just a bit longer.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-02-2025
Maybe she was hoping he’d reconsider. That flying away to elsewhere wasn’t going to solve anything. That they could simply all stay together, just as they had for seasons now, plotting away their strategies and striving to desperately make something work. But she wouldn’t ask it of him – not now. Not when there’d been so many harsh realities slashed and clawed and broken apart, and no amount of selfishness (though small and meager) in her would allow for such words to go beyond the trace of a thought. She’d seen enough, heard enough, known enough in her life to understand the nuances of growth and progress could be beyond painful, but necessary.
She wanted to ask if he’d talked to Koa. If there was something else they could do.
Instead, she smiled, taking the cup and looking down into it, as if trying to peer into the liquid and find answers there. It would supply energy and nothing more; that she already knew, but she kept her smile, trailing through the halls and out onto the porch, where the sun threatened to peek, but not quite yet. Dapples of rays and light would come, and LongNight would be over, and more dread would fill her soul.
She sat on the steps first, leaning into the railing, taking in the sights and sounds of spring arriving. [say]“It was busy. A lot more alpinas came in overnight. But they’re resting now.”[/say] She made no mention of the void birds Mittens had to chase off. [say]“And most of the blink hares should be well enough to either return to the wilds today or tomorrow.”[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Serendipity - 03-02-2025
You've encountered the OG random event! This allows you to skip one levelling requirement with the character in this thread. (Unfortunately does not count for characters over level 10, how sad.)
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-02-2025
After a moment, Zavien moved from the railing to sit next to Lena on the stairs. His thin sleeping shirt did nothing for the chill that still hung in the air, but he accepted the sting; it was nothing compared to the aching of his chest. If anything, it was a welcome distraction, mixing with the Caretaker's words to keep him sane. He smiled softly. [say]"That's great news."[/say] Probably some of the only positive news recently. Blowing the steam from his face in large white puff clouds, he asked, [say]"And how is the injured tide jaguar?"[/say] He recalled her mentioning one the other day and wondered how it might be fairing now.
While he waited to hear after the other guests of the Celestine, he looked back out to the sky that was starting to look less black and more like an aging bruise, full of purples, yellows, and oranges. It might have been pretty if he wasn't so filled with dread.
He took a sip of hot coffee, swallowing it along with all of his nerves. His voice was almost flat, hiding the emotions as he quietly said, [say]"I missed the sunlight."[/say] Missed its warmth and the comfort it brought him. Missed the feeling it gave him, like everything would be okay when the sun rose in the morning. He was almost nervous that it might not feel the same now. Had he changed too much? Had death stolen that joy from him? Zavien feared all the little things that might have shifted in him, and the fact that only time would tell.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-03-2025
She leaned into him, linen and limbs; afraid to touch more than the surface, of yielding other things they seemed to be circling around. Maybe she detested that too, that now there was going to be some great yawning void they couldn’t mention or lingered by and couldn’t even call it by name. Her heart rose in rapid formations in her chest, like jackrabbits and blink hares rapidly blistering through a field, and she stifled down the aches and pains for something substantial, tangible, here and now. Fingers circled around mugs and chats in the morning before the sun rose once more. Like everything would be fine, instead of leaning out over a precicpice and knowing what was at the bottom.
[say]“Better now. I think just a few days more and it can go home too.”[/say] Even mentions of home scraped at her edges and didn’t placate all those lovely threads of comfort and warmth. The Family took and it took and it took.
The hues lined the sky with dapples and pockets of perfection and she nearly couldn’t bear that either. She bit at her lip, trying to fill the silence, say something more that wouldn’t drag parts away. [say]“There have been some new sheep species from the Climb as well,”[/say] and a soft smile expanded as she unfurled more about them, until he mentioned the sunlight and she could only yield to that. [say]“Me too. LongNights always have a way of reminding us of the things we miss and take for granted.”[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-04-2025
As she leaned into him, Zavien switched his coffee to one hand, wrapping a warm arm around her shoulders. He released a deep sigh, releasing some of the pressure in his chest. The worries and fears felt distant when she was in his arms; not necessarily any less powerful, just something on the horizon, too far away to taint the moment, but still visible.
Smiling softly, he raised his mug to his lips. [say]"That's good."[/say] It was easier to focus on the good, to root for the animals striving to heal and Lena's diligent ministrations that helped them along the way. He latched onto it with stubborn refusal to let the feeling slip away. Raising an eyebrow of interest, he asked, [say]"What kinds of species?"[/say]
Meanwhile, her words felt like a subtle hint at something more, but Zavien didn't know what it may be. They twisted through his mind, trying to puzzle out the hidden meaning, yet only making the anxieties return. Instead of drowning in those implications, he chose to nod his head, trying not to let his thoughts linger on the potential future regrets his choices may yield. Squeezing her shoulders gently, he looked to Lena with a warm smile tinged with sadness. [say]"But it also forces the world to stop for a minute, giving us a moment to cherish and reflect for the coming year."[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-04-2025
She could feel the tears beginning to well behind her eyes the moment he pulled her in. Regret and longing and sorrow, built up where there should’ve been nothing but happiness and contentment. She reined it in as best she could, only sliding a slight breath outward before placing her head on his shoulder and gazing across the horizon. The warmth of the mug and his presence kept her from trembling, and she could be strong again for both of them or simply let herself go when he eventually peeled away –
She brushed something off her cheek and kept going. [say]“They’re called pyrinas. They have black fireproof wool, and do tend to headbutt, like the alpinas. But they can eat gemstones and fireweed.”[/say]Finding them most intriguing, if a bit unruly and naughty. Perhaps like her own companion.
The Caretaker kept the rest of her meaning quiet though. Zavien could mull it over in which every way he wished. A part of her wanted to refute his point with something melancholic, but couldn’t spoil everything left in their wake. Her hopes stayed on the pathway; of flowers and strength, of ways they could keep standing, going, without unraveling, without bending, without breaking. [say]“Mm. With some new aspirations, maybe.”[/say] Sedition. Determination. Rooted and grounded and refusing to yield.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-04-2025
Although unskilled with words, Zavien noticed more than people thought. When Lena lifted to wipe the tear from her face, he felt a piece of that contentment crack, the worries leaking in slowly. His eyes closed as he placed a soft, tender kiss to her hairline. [say]"They eat gemstones? How do they not break their teeth?"[/say] He tried to laugh a little at the joke but couldn't force it past a smile. The humor was nothing but a strip of duct tape against the coming flood, but he tried nonetheless.
His smile strengthened at her own addition of 'aspirations.' The forming moisture in his eyes told of the aching pain growing as the sunlight began to bleed across the sky. Zavien's voice was low but certain as he looked out at the sunrise. [say]"I aspire to get stronger."[/say] Taking a shaky breath, he added, [say]"And write you lots of letters."[/say] Acceptance of her decision wrapped in a promise that slowly peeled back the tape on his oozing heart. He rubbed his hand over her shoulder in an attempt to soothe the topic. [say]"What about you?"[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-05-2025
[say]“Mhm,”[/say] she muttered through the water threatening to break at the back of her throat. She swallowed down a thousand other motions dragging down her features, eyes cast upon the horizon and the warm hues, trying to embody those sentiments that just weren’t illustriously held in her heart in that moment. [say]“Very tough enamel, as you can imagine.” [/say]
His whispered affirmations and aspirations shook at her and she gave a long breath, listening to each one. [say]“Good. It’ll keep you practicing,”[/say] was another murmur, half a laugh and the other part a shelved and dismal cry. [say]“I’m going to take care of the Celestine and plant my gardens.”[/say] However they might spread. She bit her lip, but then fostered on, hands digging into the warm mug like a solace and a balm so she didn’t cling to something else. [say]“Visit the Greatwood. Write letters to you.”[/say] Become stronger in a myriad of ways. Hide in plain sight amidst Stormbreak; even if it ended up being entirely on her lonesome, surrounded by pieces and pockets of people that either couldn’t help being infested, or chose to make her home their grounds of stability. But she wouldn’t be that – not for them, anyway. There’d be a crack in the enamel, somewhere, and the sun would find it.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-05-2025
Shaking his head with a soft sigh of disbelief, he tried to keep his tone light. [say]"Nature is wild."[/say] Not only the strange 'pyrinas,' but the sunrise before them, eating away at the darkness veiling the sky. He just wished it was as effective on his aching heart.
Her optimism was admirable and a chuckle tried to break through, again to no avail. [say]"I'm not sure practicing will help without my teacher."[/say] It wasn't an attempted dig at her decision, but just a realistic fact that his letters would most likely be barely legible scribbles. That wouldn't stop him from sending them. Whether to keep her updated on his own journeys or lament about missing her, they would be in his unmistakable handwriting (and gods-awful spelling).
He looked away from the view, his green eyes scanning Lena. [say]"Then I guess I'll be visiting the Greatwood a lot."[/say] More in hopes of seeing her than finding a flower, but desirable either way. It would also be a great hidden pocket for a 'safe' training environment. It wasn't any Dragon's Nest, but secret rendezvous in the fairy woods could be fun, so he tried to spin the positive, tightening his grasp on Lena gently like it would bring that moment sooner.
As the sun rays finally crested over the horizon, Zavien breached the topic that hung over them like a death sentence. [say]"Koa just back from assignment. I'm going to talk with him this morning."[/say] Before he leaves. It wouldn't change his own path, but it was something he needed to do before departing the city. He still had to break all the terrible news. It was one of the heavy responsibilities of friendship that he would carry diligently.
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Lena - 03-06-2025
Deep in her heart and soul, she still knew and understood why he wouldn’t stay, but begged that maybe it was just a cruel joke. That the Family seemed wholly indifferent to their constant scheming meant something. Or their willful ignorance meant they could keep going, all together and fine, just like seasons before. But as optimistic and prevailing as Lena tried to be, she also understood reality; that death was a certain blow, and that fear held a steady, temperate vice over all of them. Hers may not have been the same as his, but that didn’t make them any less or more harsh.
Her eyes went downward at his words, away from the sun; still feeling the warmth and cascade. Her soft gaze went to stone and leaves outside her porch and along the looming garden, waiting to bloom, to pieces they’d placed along this earth, to roots that had been pulled away. She could feel his stare on her and she wanted to either wilt away or blossom and could do neither. [say]“Mm. I’m sure there are some nice places we could roam through.” [/say]
Her lips pressed tightly together as the subject turned though, and she heaved a long, shuddering breath, like she’d been waiting for the collapse. [say]“Okay. Do you know where you’re going to be heading?”[/say]
RE: Not Forever, but For Now - Zavien - 03-07-2025
The way she avoided his gaze was understandable, even if it still raked across his heart like nails on a chalkboard. Why did everything she did hurt so much? How had he expected her to respond? When he couldn't answer, he looked away to nod his head, resigned at least to accept their eventual meeting in the Greatwood as a means to soothe the ache.
Taking a long sip of his coffee, Zavien considered her questions and the plans to come. He didn't have a lot set in stone yet, just ideas of brief meetings and staying near friends. [say]"I'm going to see Tal in King's End first. He's agreed to do some training with me."[/say] More proof that he was already working to strengthen himself, goals and determination making it a little easier for him not to dwell on what he left behind. However, he wouldn't be able to do more than distract himself for moments at a time. He already knew that every moment alone would be full of thoughts of Stormbreak.
Sighing, he looked out at the sky that melted into orange. [say]"Then I'll head to the Greatwood after. Maybe I can see you there? In say, a week or two?"[/say] His eyes made their way back to her again, a fragile hope in his eyes that they wouldn't be apart long, something to look forward to as they said goodbye. A hope that she'd wait for him.