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+---- Thread: [SE] i wanna be your last first kiss (/showthread.php?tid=12665)
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Kissing Soh was a uniquely incredible experience he didn't want to give up. Even as she pulled away, his body sang with the effect of it, his heart racing, cheeks flushing, warmth spreading. He felt like he was floating and falling at the same time, unable to catch his breath until they were parting and the world crashed into him.
Her forehead braced against his, Zavien tried to organize his thoughts, tried to remember why they should stop as he instinctually nodded his head. [say]"Mhm."[/say] But the arguments felt thin as tissue paper when they formed, transparent and requiring no more than a harsh wind to break them apart. [say]"We should,"[/say] he whispered, eternally grateful that Soh could be the reasonable one in this moment as his own willpower drowned in endorphins. Affection deepened to know that she cared enough to respect his feelings and what he hoped to give her. Not sex or pleasure or promises grown on physical attraction, but real love and emotional connection.
A huff of breath left him, strained with the effort not to give in any more than he already had, breathless, hand tangled in her hair. [say]"Gods, Soh. I like you so much."[/say] Too much, he might add, but he refused to believe these incredible feelings could have a limit.
Zavien cradled her head, his thumb running along her cheek into her hairline, cherishing as he whispered into the space they shared, [say]"I just want to know you - all of you."[/say] Shaking his head with a quiet laugh, he clarified, [say]"More than just the physical."[/say] He leaned back to look into her eyes, impressing upon her exactly what he meant and how important it was with the intense green of his eyes. [say]"I want to know your hopes and dreams and fears and worries, to know without a doubt that you know how much I care about you - just you."[/say] A soft smile spread across his lips, tender and sweet. [say]"I want you to be happy."[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
With Zavien's hand still tangled in her hair and his lips so enticingly close, it was difficult to resist the desire that coursed through her veins. But however much she wanted him physically, she wanted to know him more. He needed to know that he meant more to her than just a quick and pleasurable release, that she'd meant everything she'd promised when he'd asked her to be his girlfriend. And she needed to know that there was more here than just chemistry, that there was a solid foundation on which to build the life they hoped to share.
[say]"I am happy,"[/say] she murmured, mirroring his soft, sweet smile. [say]"When I'm with you, it feels..."[/say] She shook her head, huffing a soft, awed laugh. [say]"I've never felt like this,"[/say] she confided in a whisper. She'd been in love before, but never had the falling been so effortless. This was unlike any relationship she'd ever had, Zavien unlike any man she'd ever chased - because this time, she didn't have to run after him, hoping for him to realize what she meant to him.
But even if she didn't have to question his feelings, it was still nice to hear them stated so plainly. [say]"I really like you,"[/say] she said. Pausing, she considered. If he wanted to know her - all of her - then she could be honest. [say]"It's almost scary how much I care about you already, but... it feels right."[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
His heart dip a couple flips and dives as she spoke, briefly questioning whether all this was really happening. It still felt like a dream at times, the emotions so new and heightened that it was hard to stay grounded through it all. He wanted to get caught up in the current and let it take him.
Smiling, he shook his head, equally baffled as he whispered, [say]"Me either."[/say] Things with Lena had been different. Not less, but different. She'd been a warm breeze guiding him along, soothing and comforting and supporting in all the ways he needed. Meanwhile, Soh was a rushing current of cool water, overwhelming and refreshing and pushing him in the ways that mattered to him now. The feelings were so different that he couldn't compare the two. It made it all the more disorienting to figure out what he felt for Soh.
Zavien knew exactly what she meant about things feeling right, and he found his head nodding as he tried to put it into words. [say]"It feels like we've always been dating and I have to keep reminding myself that this is new."[/say] The smile he wore felt like something planning to take permanent residence, stubbornly whimsical and utterly stupid. [say]"I know there's no time limit or goal for how we grow and learn together, but I also can't help wanting to know everything now."[/say] He laughed, shaking his head at how impatient he felt, at how he similarly felt like there was all the time in the world to curl her into his side and never let go.
Tilting his head, his smile turned softer, intimate and vulnerable as he said, [say]"All I know is that I don't want to lose this."[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
[say]”I know exactly what you mean,”[/say] Soh said, huffing a laugh. [say]”Its so strange because it feels like it’s been forever but it also feels like it’s been no time at all.”[/say] Time simply passed far too quickly whenever she was with Zavien. When she had to leave, if felt like she’d been with him hardly at all, and it made her all the more eager to return once more to his side.
As for wanting to know everything now, Soh could understand that, too. She similarly wanted to know all about Zavien. She wanted to learn all of his unique mannerisms, hear all about his history, know every hope and dream and fear and worry until she knew him better than anyone else in the world. [say]”Me too,”[/say] she said with a smile. [say]”I hope you know you can ask me anything you want to know. I mean, I know some things we’ll just learn over time, but…”[/say] She would answer any burning questions, too, no matter what they were.
Soh snuggled closer, tucking herself against Zavien’s chest. [say]”I don’t either,”[/say] she said. [say]”Just know that I’ll do everything in my power to keep this. To stay with you.”[/say] There were promises she couldn’t bring herself to make, if she might not be able to keep them; Caido was harsh and dangerous, and she knew all too well that there were things that could happen to her. But anything in her power? That she could and did promise freely. [say]”I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, Zavien.”[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Zavien hummed and nodded his agreement, unsure how he was supposed to describe the feeling that this was exciting and new while simultaneously being the most natural and comfortable he's been his entire life. Part of him wished they'd met sooner, that they'd already been dating for years, but he knew that everything happened in its time, and he was just grateful they were together now.
He raised a playful eyebrow, the mood turning light as he considered the millions of things he wanted to know about her. [say]"Then you're going to get a lot of questions, and I'll be prepared to answer any you have for me."[/say] His head tilted like he could already hear them, suspecting he'll learn an equal amount about Soh from the questions she asked as much as the answers she gave. What information did she value? What did she want to know from him?
As she snuggled into his chest, Zavien closed his eyes and took a deep breath like he could inhale this moment and store it in his lungs. When he exhaled, he echoed, [say]"And I'm yours, Soh. I don't want to be anywhere else."[/say] He adjusted them so that they sat comfortably in her pillow nest, his arms wrapped around her shoulders where they could stay for hours if she let them, content to sit in silence.
But shortly after, the curiosities started to bubble in his mind, and Zavien found that he wanted to hear her talk, to hear every detail of her life. [say]"Will you tell me more about your childhood?"[/say] he asked quietly.
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
The mood turned playful, light, and Soh smiled happily. She would gladly tell Zavien anything, even the things she regretted, things she wasn’t proud of, if only so that there were no secrets between them. Just now, she couldn’t imagine anything that she had to say tearing them apart, especially not as they promised themselves to each other. They may not have said the words, but it was as close to a declaration of love that she dared to go just yet, and that Zavien reciprocated her feelings warmed her in way she’d long since forgotten.
Zavien shifted, and Soh moved willingly to nestle into his arms amongst the pillows and blankets, golf long since forgotten. They had so much time in which to play games: weeks, months, years in which to get to know one another. Their shared future stretched out before them, a silent promise of forever patching Soh’s once wounded heart back together.
It wasn’t long before Zavien spoke again, and Soh hummed thoughtfully at the question. She rarely harkened back to those days, that shadowed place in her mind where youthful naïveté had once dwelled, but for Zavien, she would share what she could. [say]”I don’t remember much from before my parents died, but I think we were happy,”[/say] she said softly. [say]”From what I know now about the Grounds, life must have been hard, but I never knew that. I just remember warmth and love and happiness.
“After they died, I had nowhere to go. I didn’t have any other family, so I was taken in by someone in the community, Auden. They were older and didn’t have kids of their own, so I think I must have confused them.”[/say] She chucked drily. [say]”There are things about my upbringing that I wouldn’t want to repeat. Auden tried, but they weren’t very affectionate, and they were rather grouchy. I spent years tiptoeing around them, trying to be as undisruptive as possible. And they were rather… well, controlling, I suppose. I think they were trying to protect me, but I just remember how incredibly lonely it felt. I didn’t have many friends. I didn’t have any family. It was just me.
“The one thing I had was my shift. I attuned shortly after my parents died, and my first shift was a snowy owl. So I learned to fly, and when I got a little older, I would sneak out at night just to feel the wind under my wings. It was the most rebellious thing I ever did,”[/say] she added with a laugh. Then her smile faded, a little sadness peering through. Her childhood wasn’t exactly happy, but… [say]”It wasn’t a bad childhood. I just… wish it had been different, sometimes.”[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Soh didn't tense or give any outward signs that the memories were unwelcome, but Zavien imagined they wouldn't be the most pleasant when he considered her parents' death being a factor. He could tell from her tone that there was a sadness there as well as a discontent with how she'd grown up. With what she described, he could understand why, he could see where she might have wished for a more loving, supportive household. It made him all the more impressed to see how much she'd overcome.
There was nothing he could say or do to change her past, and he didn't dare interrupt her testimony. So he ran a gentle hand down her arm as she spoke, not seeking or distracting, but a slow, nearly imperceptible movement to soothe any negative emotions that might arise, a subtle reminder that he was listening, that he cared about every word.
When she finished, fading to silence, he nodded his head, letting her truth have space and validation before he asked quietly, [say]"Where is Auden now? Are they still in the Grounds?"[/say] Did she still have a relationship with them? Had their loss been a pivotal factor in her movement to Stormbreak? What parts of her past did she still wrestle with?
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
Soh settled into her story, but she remained aware of Zavien's hand making slow, gentle patterns on her arm. The contact was welcomed; it reminded her that however much affection she'd been denied in her past, she was making up for it in spades now. Leaning her head against Zavien's shoulder, she continued to speak, not stopping until she admitted aloud, perhaps for the first time, that there were things about her childhood that she wished she could have changed.
She didn't mean to sound ungrateful; she had more than others. She'd had someone to look out for her, when she could well have been sent to an orphanage. To this day, though, she still couldn't understand why Auden had taken her in, except maybe for love of her parents. Being an obligation was something she'd always hated. Maybe that was why she wanted so badly to feel wanted now.
Biting her lip, Soh shook her head. [say]"They died when I was seventeen."[/say] It was still a bitter memory. At the time, Auden had felt like all Soh had in the world, and their death had hit her hard. Harder, perhaps, because she was old enough to understand it better than she had been able to do at five, when her parents died. [say]"That was why I left the Grounds. And why I don't go back unless I have to."[/say] She paused. [say]"I keep meaning to make myself go finish mapping it, but..."[/say] But she kept putting it off for one reason or another, making excuses for the fact that it simply wasn't a happy place to return to.
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Another loss. Auden might not have been the ideal guardian, not the most affectionate or nurturing, but they had still been her only source of stability and support. And yet she'd lost them too. He couldn't imagine how alone she must have felt at such a young age. To be seventeen and alone in the world.
He could hear the struggle in her voice, the insecurity of her own weakness at being unable to face her past; but all Zavien heard was the woman who had overcome it all, who was still wanting to conquer those feelings. His tone was filled with awe as he said, [say]"You amaze me, Soh."[/say] Tightening his hold on her, Zavien propped his chin on her head, wishing she knew just how incredible she was. [say]"You're so warm and compassionate and loving. I never would have guessed that the kind of home you grew up in was anything but the same."[/say]
Shaking his head, he wished he could shield her from the rest of the world, but even if he couldn't, he could be there for her, and she'd never be alone for as long as he drew breath. [say]"You don't have to feel that way ever again,"[/say] he whispered, a quiet promise of reliance and companionship, a place for her to feel the affections she'd never had growing up.
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
Hindsight was always clearer, and looking back on the life she'd lived so far, Soh could clearly connect all the dots regarding how she'd acted when she was younger. She could view her mistakes with such clarity, could trace them all back to the source of her childhood. It didn't make it easier to overcome, but it comforted her, in a way, to understand.
She hadn't expected anything but compassion from Zavien, but it still surprised her when his first comment was to praise her. She tried, gods, she tried. But it was one thing to wonder and another to be told, and it meant more than she could say that he would offer that kind of comfort to her. [say]"From everything Auden told me about my parents, they were kind, and generous, and even when things were hard, they were always smiling,"[/say] she said. [say]"I... just want to be the kind of daughter they would have been proud of."[/say]
The confession was soft, thick with emotion. She'd talked about her past before - perhaps not in this level of detail, but even so - and it had never felt like relieving herself of a burden, like sharing some of her pain with someone else. But as Zavien whispered a promise, that was exactly how she felt: lighter, like the weight of the world had lifted incrementally off her shoulders. The thing was, she believed him, believed that as long as he drew breath, he would be here with her, that if she ever needed him, he would come running without question. It was a commitment that took her breath away.
Tilting her head back, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before nestling back against him. [say]"What about you?"[/say] she ventured. She knew a little bit from their previous conversations, but it didn't feel like enough when she wanted to know everything.
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Reassuring Soh with a squeeze of her arm, he offered a gentle smile that she couldn't see but might hear in the soft cadence of his voice. [say]"I'm sure they are."[/say] They would have to be blind or stupid not to recognize how strong and kindhearted their daughter had turned out, and he'd be the first to stand up for her.
The corner of his mouth lifted when she placed her lips against his cheek, the tender moment fluttering in his chest, tapping its wings against the new gems of information that were solidifying his shimmering feelings for Soh.
When the attention turned to him, Zavien tilted his head, looking out as he recalled his own upbringing. [say]"I grew up in the Silk Houses with my mom. Never knew who my dad was. I'm not sure my mom knew."[/say] He'd never struggled to talk about his past, to share the truth that had made him into who he was, to share the woman who had made him into the man beside her. [say]"She was the strongest woman I knew. She worked harder than anyone, staying out all night then coming home to smile and make me breakfast. I knew she was tired, but she refused to let her smile falter for even a second."[/say] A trademark smile had crept onto his face. He couldn't recall many of her features anymore, but that was one thing he always remembered: the bright curve of her lips that she wore like the most prized set of jewelry.
The mood turned more somber as he continued, [say]"But when I was ten, she didn't come home. She'd been murdered in an alley on her way back from her shift. They thought it was a jealous client, but we never found out who did it."[/say] There was a pause between each sentence, a quietness that told of the darkness that had eclipsed the light his mother had always emitted. But the story didn't end the same as Soh's, and Zavien had to be reminded of how lucky he'd been.
[say]"The community took me in. The neighbors and Erika made sure I was fed, the teachers dragged me to school, the other orphans treated me like siblings."[/say] He shrugged his shoulders. [say]"I might have been alone, but they made sure I never felt like it."[/say] And in turn, he'd always tried to do the same for others, returning to the Silk Houses to give back to the community he'd been raised by.
A grin popped up, lighter and full of silent laughter. [say]"Even now, Erika seems convinced that I'm incapable of feeding myself."[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
As she listened, Soh's hand drifted to Zavien's knee, tracing idle, swirling patterns meant to offer the same support he'd shown her, should he need it. Fortunately, his story wasn't quite the same as hers. Though his mother's murder was tragic, it sounded like he'd had the community she'd sorely lacked. It was one of the things she'd always appreciated about Stormbreak. In the Grounds, most people had seemed like they were only interested in fending for themselves. But in Stormbreak, she'd seen how neighbors looked after one another. The city had had its flaws, of course, but that willingness to help had never faltered, not until its dying breath.
What surprised her the most was the lack of bitterness in Zavien. At least her parents had died of natural causes, but to have the most important person in one's life murdered? She wasn't sure she'd have survived it. She could hear the shadows in his voice that spoke of a pain that lingered, but he didn't even seem angry. Just... resigned.
It struck Soh that her story might have ended the same way as Zavien's mother's, if she hadn't gotten lucky when she'd been assaulted in the Silk Houses. She'd never quite been able to love the area as much as the rest of Stormbreak after that, but if Zavien had grown up there... well, maybe it hadn't been as bad as she'd imagined. it certainly had at least one redeeming quality, at least.
But the mood lightened as he joked about Erika, inviting Soh to join in. [say]"I mean, no offense, but can you blame her?"[/say] she asked, silent laughter in her voice as she teased Zavien. [say]"I've seen what you keep in your pantry, remember?"[/say] Then, as she ran over the details of his story in her mind, she sobered. [say]"Thank you for telling me. You're very strong, to have made it through that and still be so positive."[/say]
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Zavien - 03-26-2026
Laughing along with her light humor, Zavien shrugged his shoulders as he admitted, [say]"No."[/say] But when she came for his pantry, he playfully poked into the soft part of her waist, mock offense lacing his exclamation. [say]"Hey! What does your pantry look like?"[/say]
Zavien only let the mood sober slightly as the joking settled, still smiling as he looked down at her. A single eyebrow raised, maintaining some of the levity despite the weight of their pasts. [say]"What good would it do to be negative, right?"[/say] The past wouldn't change, and it certainly wouldn't make him feel better about any of it. He was living in the now. He might as well embrace it and all the opportunities it provided.
RE: i wanna be your last first kiss - Sohalia - 03-26-2026
Zavien playfully poked at her waist, just so happening to hit a ticklish spot. Soh squeaked, contorting suddenly to escape the unexpected sensation. Still laughing, she stuck her tongue out at him. [say]"Technically, I don't have a pantry of my own right now since I'm living at Flora's, but when I did, I will have you know that it was very well stocked. I just prefer not to think about how healthy the food was."[/say] Or wasn't, as it turned out.
When the mood sobered again, Soh glanced over at Zavien. [say]"Right,"[/say] she said slowly. It felt like a deliberate dodge of her praise, and she didn't want to let it go that easily. [say]"But, still. I just think it's remarkable, is all."[/say] Softening, she ran a hand through her loose waves and settled back against Zavien's side. Perhaps it was time for a new question. [say]"Hmm... do you like to travel?"[/say]