+- Court of the Fallen (https://cotf-rpg.com)
+-- Forum: Out of Character (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=26)
+--- Forum: Important (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=27)
+---- Forum: Archives (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=38)
+---- Thread: [SE] the afterparty (/showthread.php?tid=10755)
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-05-2025
Maea's reluctance made Thal want to sigh, but she chose instead to lay back, closing her eyes as her own feet inched closer to the fire. It seemed simple enough to her just to pick something, even as Maea seemed to struggle with it. Peeking open a single blue eye like a cat, she asked, [say]"Why don't you make glass sculptures? I've seen them do it with fire in Torchline."[/say] They were actually really pretty, although she'd never admit to that.
On other topics, Thal tried to recall when she'd met the Mer King. She hummed thoughtfully, trying to think back (along with her writer). It'd seemed like they'd known each other forever. [say]"No... I think it was when we fixed the fountain up? We ended up sparring after. It's become somewhat of a friendship since. He's helped me through some things, and I've helped him with training."[/say] Some of those 'things' being her daggers, and the lovely event of Maea's disappearance. The thought made her shift uncomfortably in her chair, taking another long sip of her scotch.
It didn't surprise her that Maea wanted to talk with a goddess about the universe and the meaning of the world. Thal just liked being with her, almost like being with a - The thought arrived to the same conclusion as her companion. Mother. That was the word. The one that described what it felt like to be welcomed, loved, and supported unconditionally by Dygra. Thal had to smile a little, nodding her head. [say]"Me too."[/say]
She lapsed into silence for a moment, just enjoying the peace of company and warmth. The rain splattered the window, accenting the crackle of the fireplace in a soothing symphony. Thal let out a harmonious hum to the noise as a question came to mind. [say]"Is it silly to say I want to make her proud?"[/say] Her voice was soft, somewhat vulnerable by the question, although she thought she knew the answer.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-05-2025
Glass? Maea turned that over in her mind. She'd considered it, actually. After seeing Hotaru craft with the material, and especially after paying outrageously for something she could make herself. It would require some study to learn the process fully, but... [say]"That's a good suggestion... I might actually give it a try."[/say] The best part would be that if she wasn't satisfied with the result, it was just sand. A touch was all it took to undo it again.
[say]"Ah, right. I remember."[/say] The rum fountain wasn't something she had paid much thought to, but she did recall Hadama leading the efforts. [say]"That's good, that you get along. Especially as I enjoy both of your company."[/say]
Gazing into the fire, the silence was far more pleasant than it had been when she first arrived. Maea didn't think she had really earned back all of Thalassa's trust with one visit, but they were off to a much better start than she had hoped for. Letting her head roll aside so she could look at the dark-haired woman, the smile she offered to the queery was soft. [say]"Not at all."[/say] Dygra was the one who had made them, after all; the only true justification for any and all things they might do to the world. [say]"Do you think me silly for wishing to understand her? It was a choice, after all, to continue existing like this... It would be a comfort to say that I am aware of what that choice truly entails."[/say] Ignorance might be bliss to some, but for Maea it was only a vice. Not knowing did not absolve anyone from responsibility; if she was going to sin, she'd prefer to walk into it with open eyes.
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-06-2025
Her head nodded as Maea seemed to consider the idea. As long as the Ancient did something, Thal would support her (in her own way). If that was glass sculpting, great. Otherwise, maybe their shared acquaintance in Hadama would help in some way. He always gave such sage advice, and didn't appear bothered by their race. With a tilt of her head, she said, [say]"Maybe we'll get to work on something together again."[/say] She still frequented Torchline often enough to be of assistance if they needed (and if it suited her), although she'd probably be more inclined to participate in anti-Void/Family missions.
Thal accepted the reassurance with a gentle smile that not many people got to see. Her expression turned thoughtful as the other questions arose. She finished off her glass of scotch before answering, [say]"Not really, but the choice is already made, so what difference would it make?"[/say] If Maea didn't like the answer, would she really choose to let herself harden to stone? She found that hard to believe.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-06-2025
[say]"I would enjoy that."[/say]
Humming thoughtfully, Maea wondered if she would be able to fully explain what made perfect sense to her. A pale finger drew lazy patterns in the air; its nail was short, bitten down to the quick from an overabundance of thought.
[say]"It's like... being pushed and shoved down a path, versus walking on your own two feet,"[/say] she attempted. [say]"Or... the difference between facing consequences with your head high, versus on your knees. Sure, accepting Dygra's gift and a life as Ancient was a choice. But so is everything I do from here on out. Can I live with what I've become? With the bloodlust, the dangerous magic, the fact that my goddess will always condone blood and death, destruction and upheaval..? There are always other choices if I decide I can't. But unless I really can't stand it anymore, I can either bemoan my situation, blame others for my fate and become a bitter, hateful person. Or I can try to understand. Learn, and hopefully embrace a nature that should be as vital and necessary as any other in this world - if perhaps, not as immediately honorable and 'good' as the rest seem in my eyes."[/say] It was building versus eroding, creating or destroying, establishing order as opposed to unraveling the status quo... A wildfire was dangerous and consumed all living things in its path - but the life exploding from the ashes would be abundant. In theory Maea could actually comprehend the necessity of destructive processes quite well. They just clashed with a mindset lingering from when she lived 'on the other side' and mixed good and bad in where it wasn't necessary.
Casting an apologetic glance at her friend for the philosophical turn this was taking, Maea hoped it answered her reasons at least. [say]"I'll admit, I've done my fair share of whining, to no avail. If there's any thing I'd like to change about myself, it's that."[/say] She had a nagging suspicion that her mindset had done plenty of damage already, to both her and people around.
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-06-2025
To be completely honest, Thal tuned out about halfway through the long-winded explanation. She wasn't going to argue with Maea on 'morals' and 'meanings' anymore. They obviously had different opinions on the matter, and she much preferred to bask in the heat of the fireplace than let her blood boil.
Closing her eyes, she hung her head back and shrugged her shoulders. [say]"I guess whatever helps you sleep at night."[/say] And if that meant peppering a goddess with questions about 'purpose,' so be it. Thal wouldn't harp on the matter, letting out a long yawn that told of how much the conversation interested her in the pleasant haze of alcohol. Flicking her wrist to dismiss the self-pity, she said, [say]"Then do something about it."[/say] Only time and action would prove whether Maea was being serious about all this 'change' she meant to enact. Until then, she wasn't holding her breath.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-06-2025
Who better to ask than the goddess herself? But clearly she was talking to deaf ears here, so with a huff Maea mumbled something that could be agreement or maybe a curse muttered under breath, and stopped talking. Sulking and glowering into the fire, Thalassa sounded like changing ones way of thinking was easy. Like twisting a key in the lock, upturning a bucket - like it didn't require the rearranging of ones whole worldview. How did people do it? How did anyone go on without considering the morality, the ethics of what they were doing? Had she simply started to hesitate because of all the mistakes she'd made? Instead of learning something from them and moving on, it was like she dragged a chain of bodies behind her, bony hands around fetid ankles, the corpses of all the 'could have beens' always there to show her how unsuited she was to do... well, anything.
But sure. She would do something about it. Was doing something already. Returning, moving, mending - she was acting.
Letting out a long breath, she made an effort to set aside any offended feelings. [say]"Do you wanna talk about anything? Or does that yawn mean it's time to hit the sack?"[/say]
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-06-2025
She knew that her words would probably rub against the raw wounds, but the alcohol was making her tongue loose, and she didn't regret saying them. Maea may be concerned with the lofty ideals of the world, that didn't mean others did. Thal in particular preferred to set aside morals for feelings.
Chuckling softly at the question, she shook her head. [say]"Not necessarily. Although maybe we could talk about something less mentally taxing?"[/say] Her blue eye peeked open to look at Maea. She grabbed another piece of the apple pie, popping it in her mouth as she said, [say]"Like your favorite food or season."[/say] The mundane curiosities like what might be between childhood friends rather than the philosophical topics of 'responsible adults.'
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-06-2025
[say]"Awh, am I straining your mental faculties? Worry not, we can change the topic."[/say] The sympathy was a touch overdone, and Maea absolutely rolled her eyes at the captain, even as she obliged. [say]"My favorite fruit... is apples. I prefer cider over hard liquor. I like eating pie,"[/say] as evidenced by the offering she'd brought, and noted with pleasure that it had been a good choice, [say]"and I can't stand the taste or scent of licorice."[/say] For colors, she had to think. [say]"Mmh, probably... blue. Like snow shadows, or the twilight sky in Deepfrost. Which is my favorite season, by the way."[/say]
Leaning over to snatch one of the remaining pies, she took a bite despite not really being hungry. It was sweet, so it would find its way down anyway. [say]"Your turn."[/say] Passing the figurative ball to Thalassa, she waited to see if she'd learn anything new about this no-nonsense, oh so confident pirate. Did Thalassa have any favorite anything?
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-06-2025
Her eyes narrowed dangerously at Maea's mocking, suddenly much more alert. She didn't appreciate the dig at her intelligence, because although she liked to be underestimated physically, she wanted her mind to be regarded as a dagger against her opponent's throat: sharp and poised to kill. The insult left her tempted to rescind her offer, no longer feeling 'warm and fuzzy.' All because she wasn't in the mood to argue lofty idealism.
Even as Maea indulged her request, Thal played with the arm of the chair, contemplating whether she herself would answer. The responses met her ears, settling somewhat in her mind, but the light mood had left her. If only to end the conversation, she gave her own short answers as she pointedly set aside the remainder of her pie. [say]"I like anything sweet, although I like my alcohol strong."[/say] Not that the fact should surprise Maea. [say]"If black isn't an option, blue is a close second."[/say] Mainly from her time on the ocean, but the sky was equally as beautiful. With a final nod of her head, she finished with a single, flat word, [say]"Longheat."[/say] Her favorite season for clear skies and sailing the seas. Then she fell silent, unwilling to say more, and mentally preparing to pull the cot out.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-06-2025
The change of temperature between them was palpable. At first it surprised Maea, because she had thought Thalassa would laugh - were they not bantering earlier? But apparently not. Irritation bloomed all over again, but as silence fell after the few sparse revelations, it gradually faded to a resigned kind of sadness.
[say]"... why is it that we can't stay on the same page for more than a minute at a time?"[/say] It was a rhetorical question, Maea didn't expect the woman to have any more answers than herself. It was just... exhausting. Never knowing what pissed Thalassa off, what she cared about, what bored her to tears. Apparently making a dig at her mind was a no no. But hadn't Thalassa just dismissed Maea's thoughts and reasoning, causing pretty much the same kind of upset? If she'd been more vindictice it would be tit for tat. Instead, Maea just felt tired and uneasy.
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-07-2025
Thal may have dismissed Maea's decisions on the grounds of 'agreeing to disagree' and a dislike or revisiting old feuds, but she'd never said anything to imply that the Ancient was wrong or stupid for having such thoughts. It made her all the more annoyed with the poorly timed jab for wanting to visit a topic not rimmed with dissatisfaction.
Huffing out a sigh, she sat forward towards the fire, no longer comfortable lounging in the chair. [say]"I guess we'll never know."[/say] Was it their similarities or their differences that always seemed to push them apart? She'd never had a sister, but was this what it felt like? Flipping frequently between happy companionship and volatile fights? It leached her energy one moment and fueled her the next. Sometimes she wanted to hug Maea, and other times she wanted to shake her just to rattle her brain straight.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-07-2025
Unlike before, this was no peaceful silence. Thalassa seemed tense, and to Maea the stillness crawled with fraught, anxious things. A million outcomes played out in her mind - if she said nothing, if she said something else wrong, if she apologized, if she did not. Was this the creaking and groaning of another bridge foundation coming undone? After all, everything with Asta had seemed fine until suddenly it was not. If there were signs she had missed them, and so this time Maea barely breathed, her every sense trained on Thalassa as she waited, panicking all to herself - wondering if this was the end of yet another friendship.
The thought of leaving flitted past. Outside it was fully daek, rain pelting down while thunder rolled in the distance. It would be unpleasant, but little worse than anything else she'd experienced. But then there would be no reconcilliation. If they were simply tired and grouchy now, the morning might see their mood improved and Maea departed on a good note. Or... or it might not. At least she wouldn't have run away though. That was key. She Could. Not. Run.
With a ragged breath, she dragged some semblance of courage from the bottom of her toes. [say]"Do you... is this – should I apologize?"[/say] She just couldn't tell anymore, if it even made a difference or just ruined things even more.
RE: the afterparty - Thalassa - 03-07-2025
She didn't really want to comfort the woman when she wasn't feeling especially 'friendly' now, but she could see the panic and overthinking begin to spread across her face, making Thal sigh in tired exasperation. [say]"Relaaax. I just don't appreciate those kinds of jokes."[/say] Her face was a soft frown, although more annoyed than angry. Pulling a tendril of fire toward her, she twisted it through her fingers to watch how it flickered. She let it swirl around her wrist before snuffing it out in her hand.
When she looked back up at Maea, the emotion in her eyes was veiled with courtesy caution. [say]"Poke and tease at anything else, but don't imply I'm somehow less intelligent just because I don't care about the existential nonsense of the world."[/say] Or that she was stupid - period - but she'd keep things relevant for the moment.
RE: the afterparty - Maea - 03-07-2025
Not particularly fond of needing to be comforted either, it nevertheless was necessary. And despite the undercurrent of annoyance in Thal's voice, it helped that the silence was broken. As long as they were still talking, there had to be hope.
Focusing on unfurling her fingers one by one, the ringing in Maea's ears gradually faded. When she could hear again, she nodded acceptance of the condition; [say]"Got it. I won't do it again."[/say] Stretching and flexing her hands, she finally glanced at Thalassa. [say]"Can I... ask that you tell me, when something I do bothers you? Doesn't matter what it's about; I'd rather hear it upfront. Silence... I don't do well with silence."[/say]