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pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-22-2024
[say]"I cannot believe you've never been here."[/say] With an arm comfortably linked with Soh's, Flora led her friend through the labyrinth of tunnels which would eventually open up into the hot springs. The Skyship ride over had been as uneventful as they could have hoped, and having been to the springs quite often throughout the past few seasons, the queen was able to lead them down into the depths without incident.
With her bikini on beneath a black coverup dress and a bag slung over her arm containing a few towels, a bottle of wine, and some snacks, Flora's face was free of makeup and her hair was in a messy knot on the top of her head. [say]"The only bad thing about being down here is finding somewhere to sit where couples aren't...well."[/say] Nodding her head where two young lovebirds were pawing at one another in the water in a manner that suggested they had no intentions of stopping anytime soon, the queen laughed under her breath. [say]"Hypocritical of it is for me to say."[/say] She adds with a mischievous laugh before steering Soh into an area that had just enough people to deter shenanigans, but not so many that she and the Luminary wouldn't be able to have a bit of privacy.
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 10-22-2024
Soh was Flora's opposite today, dressed in a white coverup dress over a vibrantly colored one piece swimsuit. Her own bag was more or less a duplicate of Flora's, containing a towel of her own, another bottle of wine, and some additional food for the girls to share. Her arm linked with the Queen's, Soh looked around as Flora led her to the hot springs, happy to share in the simple chatter of two friends out on a spa day. [say]"I don't know how I haven't been,"[/say] she mused, shaking her head. A few tendrils escaped from her messy bun with the motion. [say]"But I'm excited to see what it's like!"[/say]
In a much better mental space than when she'd first seen Flora again, the former Heart was all bright eyes and smiles today - at least until they came across the young couple in a secluded corner. Then she blushed faintly, looking quickly at anything else until they were well past the pair. Despite
She and Flora found an area that seemed like it would provide privacy without being taken by certain shenanigans and set out their things. [say]"I'm surprised by how many people are here,"[/say] she said conversationally. [say]"I wouldn't have picked the Climb as a prime tourist destination."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-23-2024
It was so easy to forget that Sohalia had been gone for seasons if only because of how quickly the Luminary had slipped back into her life, such that Flora uttered an apologetic laugh under her breath before explaining. [say]"Well, turns out that the lilies that grow here? They can be used to cleanse areas of the void."[/say] Glancing around at the nearly enumerable couples, the girl rolls her eyes. [say]"So it's become popular for that reason. Best case you find a flower and you're a hero, worst case you spend a day in the hot springs."[/say] Nodding toward where a thick layer of mist settled over the water such that anything more than 30ft or so away was entirely obscured from view, the queen shrugged.
Slipping out of her coverup, Flora's bikini was the same black as her dress, she could only grin at her friend's colourful one piece. No doubt the Luminary hardly even knew how beautiful she was, but then, that's probably what made her so irresistible to so many. On the heels of that thought Koa's face swam into her mind, tugging the smile quickly from the queen's lips. [say]"Hey, uhm...I know this is sort of out of the blue, but there's something I want to tell you."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 10-23-2024
Having heard much the same from her other friends about the lilies, Soh nodded, glancing around as though she could will one to appear. [say]"Right, I guess that's true."[/say] Maybe today the girls would get lucky. [say]"I wonder what would happen if we planted one in Stormbreak."[/say] The thought was out before she could think the better of it, and this time when she looked furtively through the mist, it was to check for any listening ears. All she needed was to start talking about fighting back against the Void and the Family and put a target on her back!
As Flora shrugged off her coverup, Soh did the same before stooping to rummage through her bag for a few glasses and the bottle of wine. When her friend started to speak again, it was the tone more than the words she spoke that gave the Luminary pause. She straightened, tilting her head to one side. [say]"Is everything okay?"[/say] she asked, her brow furrowing in concern.
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-23-2024
Pulling a face at that, Flora can only give her head a shake. [say]"I mean, I imagine Dahlia would find a way to tear it out. I've only met her once, but she seems like the type whose more than happy to get her hands dirty, you know?"[/say] Or maybe Sohalia didn't; the Doubletake wasn't entirely sure who the Luminary had met while she'd been kidnapped or even how much of it she remembered.
Sighing softly and debating whether or not she should have said anything, now that the words were out, Flora felt as though she had to continue on. No doubt if she brushed it off Sohalia would have let her, but gods it would have felt disingenuous, especially if anything were to happen between Koa and the former-queen down the line (much as Flora hated to even consider it). [say]"No, yeah, it is, there's just...just something I want to tell you now so that it doesn't come out later and make things weird."[/say]
So saying Flora reaches for her friend to encourage her to sit on the rocks they'd placed their bags onto before running her fingers through her curls. [say]"So...before Jack, or...I mean I guess during Jack, I...was sort of seeing Koa."[/say] Swallowing hard and already feeling her cheeks flush with colour and heat, Flora glances over her shoulder as if something in the white-blue mist might appear to make the words come easier. [say]"And I know what I said before, about wanting you two to make a go of things, and...honestly when you both disappeared at the same time I thought you'd eloped or he'd gotten you pregnant or something.."[/say] Trailing off and flashing the Luminary a pained and apologetic wince, Flora can only shrug doubtfully. [say]"..but he told me it wasn't like that, and...and then he and I decided to go on an actual date and see if we could make things work."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 10-25-2024
Puzzled and concerned, Soh allowed the Queen to pull her down to sit on the rocks. She watched as Flora ran a hand through her curls, suddenly nervous. What did her friend have to tell her that made her so uncomfortable? Soh liked to believe that she was a fairly easy person to talk to, and she and Flora had always been open and honest with each other, even when it was hard. So for the Doubletake to be so... unsure? Hesitant? It didn't bode well.
Then she heard Koa's name and blinked, freezing suddenly in the middle of tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
As she listened to Flora's story, she didn't know what to think or feel or do. A part of her was hurt that her friend had gone back on what she'd said, but not a very large part - and she didn't stop to look too closely at why that was. Perhaps she thought Koa deserved better than she could ever have given him, that Flora would have been the better fit. Or maybe her feelings for Koa had gotten so complicated that she just didn't want to examine them too closely for fear of what she might find. Either way, she wasn't as angry as she could have been - and when Flora said something about thinking Koa'd gotten Soh pregnant, it even startled a laugh from the Luminary.
When Flora had finished, Soh sat back, throwing her hands behind her and leaning on them for support as she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. [say]"That... wasn't what I was expecting,"[/say] she said after a moment. [say]"I mean - I'm not angry or anything,"[/say] she hastened to add. [say]"I was gone, and you and Koa have a history, and it just... well, it was complicated between he and I before I disappeared, and now it's just a mess. Even if I wanted to make a go of it, I don't know that we ever could."[/say]
Realizing she'd gotten off topic, she blew out a puff of air and looked back at her friend. [say]"I'm glad you told me. But I don't want it to come between us. I guess I'm a little jealous, but I do understand."[/say] After all, after what had happened with she and Koa and Jude, who was she to judge?
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-26-2024
Feeling her stomach begin to twist into knots that had her wanting to gasp for breath, Flora only pushed her lips together, forcing herself to bear the growing weight of guilt. [say]"No but..there's more."[/say] While the queen could have just taken the out, could have left the story unfinished, if it ever came out that the dragoon had been in love with her, especially if anything reblossomed between he and the Luminary, gods, Flora would felt as if she'd betrayed them both.
[say]"Everything he did was so perfect."[/say] Flora whispers, the words a painful admission. Closing her eyes, the dragoon's handsome face and vibrant copper eyes springing immediately forth in the darkness, the queen feels the first treacherous but deserved prickle of tears against the back of her eyes. [say]"He tried so hard, he..."[/say] The flowers he'd sent her, the thoughtful gifts, the carefully planned date...all things that Jack would likely never do for her but ones that Koa did simply because it was in his nature to be good and kind and giving. [say]"Gods, Soh."[/say] Choking out a sob, Flora opened her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks as she hiccuped in a painful breath, forcing the air into her lungs despite the way her stomach clenched and her throat tried to close. [say]"It would have been him."[/say] This was the refrain which had haunted the Doubletake for weeks now, one she'd never fully been able to get out of her head. A melody that followed her around, even down into her dreams where she saw Koa's face more often than she cared to admit.
[say]"I was so close to falling in love with him. For months it was on the tip of my tongue, but he was just...I mean, we were so far apart, you know? With everything happening in Torchline and Stormbreak, and...and I thought there would be time."[/say] Feeling a chill in her fingertips, Flora glances down to see that she's twisted her fingers together so tightly as to cut off circulation. Releasing them with a surprised gasp, instead, she takes to chewing on the inside of her cheek. [say]"..and I must sound like such a bitch saying all of that and then turning around saying how falling in love with Jack had just happened, but.."[/say] Again her stomach clenched as an icy cramp worked its painful fingers through her.
She was saying too much, she knew it, but the words just poured out as Flora hadn't had time to properly grieve what had happened with Koa. [say]"..the day I told him I couldn't be with him, he said he loved me, and—"[/say] Biting back a sob that had her entire body trembling and then growing taut, the queen bit her cheek hard enough to taste copper. [say]"—Soh, I don't think I'll ever get over that."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 10-26-2024
Oh, but it wasn't enough for Flora to give her a vague recounting of events - no, the Doubletake continued to speak, seemingly unable to stop herself from sharing her emotions with her friend. And Soh listened, perhaps a bit dumbfounded, but also willing to be the shoulder that Flora appeared to so desperately need. After all, the Luminary understood better than most what it was to love two people at once - and she'd seen firsthand the devastation that it could cause. So if Flora needed to talk to someone? Well, Soh would gladly listen.
Even if her heart ached with the revelations. Koa had never loved her - or if he had, he'd never told her - but somehow, that made sense. Flora was someone made to be loved, to be adored, to be doted on. Soh was just... well, she was just a mess.
Without a word, Soh reached into their bags and pulled out the wine bottles, offering one to Flora before taking a swig directly from the other. [say]"Well, first of all, you aren't a bitch,"[/say] Soh said finally, wrapping her free arm around her friend's shoulders. [say]"I get it - loving two people at once. You know I get it better than most."[/say] She'd shared all of her guilt over Koa and Jude with Flora once upon a time, and she was sure that Flora hadn't forgotten.
As Flora choked out a sob, Soh rubbed her back soothingly. [say]"Hey, hey, it's okay,"[/say] she said, and continued to murmur quiet platitudes as she offered what little comfort she could.
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-29-2024
Really Flora wouldn't have been surprised if Sohalia, sweet and kind as she was, decided to up and leave, so it was with a sigh of quiet surprise that the queen accepted the offered wine. Hiccuping in a breath to feel the arm wrapped around her shoulders, Flora melts against the Luminary, her eyes pressing closed. [say]"Okay, well whatever is worse than a bitch, then."[/say] Her laugh is humourless, the smile that she forces onto her lips far heavier than it had any right to be such that she could barely hold it for more than a second.
[say]"I know you do, I just..."[/say] Swallowing despite the fingers that feel like they're around her throat, Flora gives her head a rueful little shake. [say]"..it's so complicated because of what happened with you two before, and..."[/say] Twisting in order to see her friend more clearly, the Doubletake swipes her fingers across one cheek. [say]"Are you sure you don't mind? I've just...I haven't had anyone to talk to about this."[/say] Jack, for all his telepathy had obviously steered well clear of this topic, leaving Flora to do her best not to think about Koa in his presence. She'd managed it well enough (she thought, anyway), but it left her feeling like a volcano fit to burst in the moments when her mind was her own again.
[say]"It's like...I don't regret that I fell in love with Jack, but..it's like in another world it just would have been Koa. Everything feels like it led up to he and I being together and...and something about that, it..."[/say] Fresh tears spring to Flora's eyes as she chokes back another sob. Unscrewing the offered wine she takes a large sip followed by another, wishing she could just drain the entire bottle now and sink into the cloudy intoxication it would bring. There weren't words to describe the way she felt—none that she knew, anyway. It was like being able to see through a window into a life that she might have led if things had only been slightly different. The world where she and Koa were together felt so close that sometimes she was sure it overlapped with this one, and in those moments the urge to smash through the glass felt nearly unbearable, like the man on the other side of it was hers. Like her heart thought she had a right to both lives, both sides of the window, even though her mind knew she didn't.
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 10-30-2024
As Flora continued to vent, Soh rubbed small circles on her friend's back, periodically taking a sip from her own wine bottle. When they'd arrived at the hot springs today, this was certainly not what Soh had been expecting to be the topic of conversation. But now they were here, and Flora was talking, and there was nothing the Luminary could offer her friend but to listen. After all, Flora had once done the same for her, and she could offer no less to her friend in her time of need.
That didn't mean it was easy, of course. Soh had yet to decide her own feelings for Koa, and this certainly complicated the emotions that writhed beneath the surface every time she thought of the dragoon. And as she considered Flora's story, she couldn't help but feel sorry for poor Koa, who had now been rejected twice in favor of someone else. She didn't fault Flora for her feelings, but it certainly had to have been hard on Koa... and yet, Soh wasn't in a position to be the one to check on him. Not until they sorted out exactly what they were and weren't to each other.
But if he had loved Flora... maybe that told her all she needed to know about what she was to him. And what she was... maybe that was nothing.
[say]"You can tell me anything,"[/say] she promised. [say]"I know things were complicated with me and Koa, but he wasn't... he wasn't in love with me. Maybe he could've been once, but with everything that happened..."[/say] She shook her head. [say]"And honestly? I've been away for so long, and that made things even worse, and I don't know where I stand with him now, but I don't think there's anything romantic there anymore."[/say] Not on his end, anyway. She still wasn't sure what she felt. What she should feel.
[say]"I wish I could fix it,"[/say] she told her friend helplessly as Flora's tears started anew. [say]"I wish there was some magic pill to take that would make it all feel okay, but... I think you'll probably feel this way for a while. Just... if you need anything, I'm here."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 10-31-2024
The fingers of guilt already wrapping around Flora's throat seemed to gain extra strength as it occurred to the girl just how awkward all of this must be for Sohalia to hear. Once upon a time it was true that the queen had done the same for her friend, but Flora's feelings for the dragoon had only been budding then. It hadn't been easy to put her feelings for Koa aside in lieu of her friendship for the Luminary, but she'd been more than willing to do it. Now, though, so long after with so much having happened between, what had she been thinking to assume it would be so easy for Soh to do the same for her?
[say]"I..."[/say] Swallowing hard before opting to try and drown the ball of grief in her throat with a large sip of wine, Flora shakes her head. [say]"..I think what Koa felt for you and I was always kept separate."[/say] Not unlike the way she felt about the dragoon and Jack, or how Soh had once felt about Jude and Koa. The feelings should have overlapped, and yet somehow, for some inexplicable reason, they just didn't. Pressing the heel of her hand against her forehead, Flora groans and leans her cheek against Soh's shoulder.
[say]"Have you seen him again? I mean, since you left the Refuge?"[/say] Realizing that probably sounded like she was prying, Flora is quick to straighten in order to offer her friend a wobbly smile. [say]"I won't lie, it'll be...incredibly weird if something happens with you two, but I don't want to let that stop you. Either of you."[/say] Flora had made her choice, and for however much cognitive dissonance it caused her, she loved Jack. While thoughts of what could have beens might keep her up at night, certainly she didn't want them to stand in the way of Sohalia's happiness; or Koa's.
[say]"It'll probably mean no double dates, but...after all you've been through, you deserve to be happy."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 11-01-2024
Seeing one of her best friends consumed by the same guilt that had eaten away at Soh for so long was almost as bad as experiencing it herself.
But as badly as Soh wanted to take that pain away, save Flora from the self-inflicted torture, she knew that there was nothing she could do. There were no words to tell the Doubletake that it was okay - because it wasn't. What they had done to Koa had been cruel and unfair. No matter how unintentional it had been, that didn't make any of it okay. And for Koa to have been through it not once, but twice... well, that just made it all the worse.
Flora sat up, offering a brittle smile, which Soh returned, squeezing Flora's shoulders one more time before withdrawing to take a swig from her wine bottle. She'd made it halfway through the bottle by now, and a faint warmth had begun to blossom in the back of her mind. Maybe that was what made it easier to be nonchalant when she said, [say]"No. I don't think he wants to see me, and I don't... I don't know how to be..."[/say] She sighed. Took another sip of wine. [say]"I don't know how to make things feel normal between us."[/say]
She said nothing of any romantic feelings that may or may not linger. Sometimes she felt that time had dulled some of the flame that had kindled within her, that she didn't even want the dragoon like that anymore. Other times she loved him so fiercely it hurt.
Not that she was going to tell Flora that.
[say]"But thank you,"[/say] she said warmly. [say]"For what it's worth... I know it sucks, but I know you did the best you could. Maybe one day... maybe one day, it won't hurt quite as much."[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Flora - 11-03-2024
[say]"I mean...he risked his life to try and keep you safe, so..."[/say] Flora inclined her head to the side, before helping herself to another drink from her bottle. As for how to be? Swallowing, her cheeks burning now not just with the heat of her guilt but the rosy effects of the wine as well, the queen shrugs. [say]"I think...life is way too short to think that you have time to find the perfect moment to tell people how you feel...and that...even when things are awkward, it's still worth it, you know?"[/say] Did that make sense? Squinting up at the ceiling, Flora could no longer be sure.
[say]"Maybe."[/say] She agreed, though her voice lacked conviction as her blue-green gaze dropped back to her friend. [say]"It feels like it'll always haunt me. The way he'd looked, how he'd sounded.."[/say] Gods, worse than that almost were the memories of the times when things were good between them. Perfect moments that followed her around, which, when you had a telepath for a boyfriend, was a dangerous thing.
[say]"Anyway, I guess...I mean, I hope you can see why I wanted you to know?"[/say]
RE: pierce new holes in my heart - Sohalia - 11-08-2024
Flora was rather wise, Soh thought as she listened to the Queen offer her opinion. Life was short, and perhaps it was rather silly to risk someone not knowing how one felt. But Soh also knew that things weren't always that simple. Aside from the fact that she wasn't sure how she felt anymore, she was also hesitant to even attempt to start anything with Koa again for myriad other reasons - Flora now being one of them.
She took a sip of wine, her own cheeks a little pinker than when they'd started and her head feeling mildly fuzzy. It was kind of nice, actually, to let go of some of her worries in favor of the bland nothingness that came from alcohol. To stop feeling everything quite so deeply was a welcome reprieve. [say]"I'm glad you told me,"[/say] she said, and despite the history and the feelings and the confusion and all the rest of it, she meant what she said. [say]"It would have been... weird... for it to come out some other way. I'm glad I heard it from you."[/say]