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Falling slowly - Remi - 04-26-2019
So Phoebe was accidentally pregnant and he had to hear about it from Emmett. There were a number of things that bothered the alchemist about that order of events, but for now he could easily set that aside. Would he tell Phoebe she was an idiot, just as he'd done with the boy? Of course.
But congratulations were in order first.
So arriving at her house but not as he'd done a hawk so many long months ago when they'd first met nor when she'd set up her clinic, now Remi was all man, all smiles, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Knocking on the door, Remi hummed to himself as he waited.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 04-26-2019
Frey had long since returned the young midwife to her home. She was still sad, she was still grieving, and she would be for some time. It was natural. But this too would pass with time. Joy would come to balance her sorrow, though she knew all to well that the pain would always remain in some small way. Love had no equal after all and would leave her always a little unbalanced; but time and knowledge would help. That Frey cared enough, in their own capacity, to show her this, to hold her and comfort her despite thinking it meaningless, gave her a sense of peace.
Perhaps visiting a shrine to pray to Ludo and Mort was in order. Ludo, who undoubtedly guided the soul of her child to Mort, and Mort who had given her the love she had felt in the first place.
By the time there was a knock on the door, Phoebe had redressed her bed and bathed, the long soak in too-hot, lavender infused water soothing her soul a bit. For once, she was glad someone knocked, rather than barging in. She opened the door, hair still wet, a picture of calm. [say]”Oh! Remi, it’s good to see you.”[/say] she said with a soft smile, stepping aside so he could come in. [say]”Are those for me?”[/say] she said, looking at the flowers in surprise. It wasn’t often people showed up at her door with flowers. Come to think of it, had anyone ever done so?
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 04-26-2019
[say]"Well I only have one favourite midwife."[/say] He said with a grin, stepping over the threshold but pausing to wrap his arms around her in a hug. She smelled sweet and of something that made him think of long summer nights. Was that what the creation of life smelled like? He supposed it must be.
[say]"I hear congratulations are in order."[/say] Remi said, pulling back with a raised brow, equal parts pleased and softly prodding that he hadn't been told sooner.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 04-26-2019
Phoebe smiled a bit, a laugh almost bubbling up but not quite making it out. While she had been calmed and soothed by Frey and the passing hours, mirth was still in short supply. [say]”Good, or else I would be very cross with you, picking another favorite. I bet she isn’t even that good.”[/say] she joked lightly, happy to accept his hug. Unlike with Frey, who had been all consuming in their embrace, Remi’s hug was more familiar. She swallowed, shoving tears back into place as she momentarily wallowed in the comfort he unknowingly offered her.
But as he pulled away she stared at him blankly, clearly not following his prompted direction. [say]”Congratulations?”[/say] she said slowly, her head tilting a bit to the side. As far as she knew, Remi didn’t know anything about the baby, and her brain was a bit fried from witnessing microscopic life for the first time in a divine realm so she didn’t consider that Emmett might have told him. She didn’t even think Emmett and him had ever spoken. And she couldn’t think of anything else that he might want to congratulate her for. Had she unwittingly won something? [say]”For what?”[/say]
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 04-26-2019
[say]"She isn't."[/say] Remi agreed about Phoebe's fictional competition, flashing her another warm and sunny smile.
For a moment her confusion made him confused. But as he replayed his conversation with the farmer, there was no mistaking the context of what they had been discussing. Oh, he thought. Emmett wasn't supposed to say anything. So Phoebe must be keeping up the pretense. Only slightly wounded that she would still keep something like this a secret from him, he just grinned at her, eyes lowering down to her stomach and then back up again.
[say]"I know I am not supposed to know. Emmett told me."[/say] He said softly, thinking that it was still to be treated as a secret.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 04-26-2019
Phoebe smiled, glad he agreed her fictional competition wasn’t on her level. [say]”Do you want some tea? I just made some.”[/say] she offered. [say]”And thank you for these, they are beautiful.”[/say] she said. Phoebe took the flowers and moved to a cabinet where she had a vase that would be perfect for them, placing them in it before setting it on a table to display.
But she caught the way his eyes dropped to her waist then lifted again. Her stomach dropped, as did her expression. [say]”Oh. No, it wasn't that you weren't supposed to know. I hadn't told anyone yet. I'm sorry that's how you found out.”[/say] she said quietly, giving him a melancholy smile. [say]”I hope you’re not mad…I only told him because…well he needed to know and I didn’t know where things stood with him. I was just going to wait a little bit longer before saying anything to anyone else but…”[/say]. She sighed and shook her head, feeling unbidden tears rising up again. Her brown gaze remained cast down at the table, barely registering the flowers she had just set there.
[say]”You might wish to save your congratulations for someone with something worth congratulating.”[/say]
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 04-26-2019
Her explanation was unnecessary really. Of course the father should know first and given how trim she still looked, clearly it was quite early. Remi was just being selfish and truthfully he didn't mind. He was just so excited for her, and given how much of an obligation pregnancy had been in Northaven, he'd never really been properly happy for someone before.
However as her gaze dropped hiding the welling tears, Remi frowned instantly and took a step forward. [say]"Hey,"[/say] He said gently, reaching for one of her hands. [say]"What is that supposed to mean?"[/say]
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 04-26-2019
Phoebe felt her stomach drop even further as Remi touched her hand. The rush of emotion that followed was near instantaneous, the grief and sorrow bubbling up a new, almost boiling over to wreck the perfect calm she had prepared for herself. It dawned on her suddenly that she would have to tell people what happened. With Frey she hadn’t, Frey had simply known, it needn’t be said. Trying to make the words leave her mouth seemed a daunting, arduous task she had no chance of completing without destroying herself anew.
With the back of her free hand she quickly wiped at her eyes, trying to keep them from falling. Her breaths came in short little gasps briefly as she tried to settle herself. Sorrow is meaningless. You don’t grieve the loss, you grieve the unknown. She swallowed a hard lump in her throat before turning to look up at Remi, clearly distressed, clearly on the very edge of a complete breakdown, but through sheer grit alone keeping it all bundled up. [say]”I miscarried last night, Remi. I’m not…there is nothing to congratulate me for.”[/say] she said softly, an eerie almost clinical calm to her voice.
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 04-29-2019
[say]"Oh—"[/say] He whispered. As a man, and a relatively ignorant one given his circumstances, Remi had no idea what was involved with a miscarriage. Had Phoebe been in pain? Had there been an actual child? Was she in need of medical attention? Luckily as a midwife she would of course have the answers to all these questions, and so Remi let those worries slide. [say]"Oh Phoebe."[/say] His voice was rough with grief, but not pity. Stepping forward, he would try to pull her to him if he could, arms tangling around her, pressing a kiss softly to her hair if he could.
[say]"I am so very sorry."[/say] The alchemist added after a moment, his heart thundering in his chest for some reason.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 04-30-2019
Phoebe released a shuddering breath as Remi pulled her to his chest. Her arms snaked around his waist, holding her own wrist behind his back. Tears rose and a few rolled down her cheeks, but for the moment, she did not want to crumble. She did not want to fall apart. When she told Emmett, she knew it was inevitable that she would break, but Remi was different. He was brotherly, his comfort and company soothing but separate from her pain. He was only part of the situation as her dearest friend. Still, his whispered apologies and kiss atop her head threatened to break her resolve; but she persisted.
Gently she shook her head against his chest. [say]”Don’t be. It isn’t…it’s not something to be sorry about. It…just is.”[/say] she whispered, swallowing a lump in her throat. [say]”It can happen a lot at this stage. If I wasn’t a midwife and didn’t know what to look for I probably wouldn’t have even known. My body was just…doing a test run…”[/say] she said with a sniffle, trying to force her brain to think about this clearly, clinically, with the cool and dispassionate disinterest Frey might have.
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 05-02-2019
Softly the alchemist stroked her hair, smelling the sweet scent of her and wanting to pull her even tighter against him as if somehow that might help. Pressure and diamonds and all that. But instead, he merely stood sentinel, his hands seeking to soothe.
[say]"A test run?"[/say] Remi repeated, brow softly furrowed with an understandable lack of clarity when it cames to matters such as these. Pulling back only far enough to look at her, Remi's pale stare waffled gently over Phoebe's so-composed features.
[say]"You are not hurt, then?"[/say] He asked, gaze falling once again to her still-flat stomach. His persisting ignorance leading him to wonder and worry that perhaps a miscarriage, even so soon, would have done internal damage.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 05-02-2019
It was nice, simply being held. Not a list of questions, not surrounded by squiggly circles and connected particles – that she could see in technicolor perfection anyways. Phoebe was happy to hide against his chest, his hand running over her hair soothing. At length he did finally speak and she remembered that not everyone knew what she did when it came to such things.
She nodded a little, wiping at her eyes to dry any remnants of tears. [say]”As in, the pregnancy was literally just a check, to make sure that everything was working properly. It…may not have been intended to go fully to term. A lot of women wouldn’t have even realized what I did.”[/say] she said with a quiet sigh, swallowing a lump of emotion in her throat. It was probably an odd concept for him to understand, seeing as his body lacked all of the capabilities to do what hers could. Why would he know anything about it?
His second question elicited a small but mirthless laugh and she shook her head. [say]”No, no. A miscarriage at this stage is like a very heavy, very fast menstrual cycle with extra cramping.”[/say] she said with a light shrug. [say]”Most would have mistaken it for such. But…Frey visited me – just offering me comfort, I’m fine.”[/say] she said, adding that last bit on at the end, knowing he was less than fond of the deity. [say]”But they also healed the remaining discomfort I felt.”[/say] she assured.
RE: Falling slowly - Remi - 05-03-2019
[say]"You...say that as if your body was...acting on its own."[/say] Remi said a touch skeptically, though given his divisive ignorance when it came to women, his tone was humbled by all he knew he didn't know. Still, even if it was true, the alchemist couldn't help but want to commend Phoebe's body on its wisdom; an unplanned pregnancy at 19, with the barrier having just fallen with a boy who she was sure hated her only weeks ago seemed less than ideal.
But then again what did he know.
[say]"Ahh—"[/say] Remi began, her words at least striking back in the vicinity of things which he did understand...at least until she mentioned Frey. Stiffening against her, for a moment his fingers ceased their vertical patterns pausing near her shoulder blades as his brow furrowed. [say]"....as long as you are alright."[/say] He said simply, fingers tangling anew in her hair.
RE: Falling slowly - Phoebe - 05-04-2019
Phoebe stared at him in confusion. Yes. Her body had acted of its own accord. Did he think she did this to herself? [say]"It's just like...I didn't tell my womb to conceive. Or tell my stomach to let me know when it's hungry. Or my skin to tell me something is hot. It's just...what the body does natural. Sometimes it decides after conception that the conditions aren't right for one reason or another and...ends it."[/say] she said, trying to keep her emotions in check by speaking in a more technical manner. [say]"That's what I mean by a test run. My body conceived. My body didn't prepare the right conditions to carry to term, so my body miscarried."[/say] she said, glancing down.
She felt him stiffen at the mention of Frey and laughed a little. Phoebe gently ran her fingers across his back, intending to comfort him in return. [say]"Yes, I am very much alright. I've a very good relationship with Frey, you needn't worry. They came to me, without even a prayer, and took me to their realm and comforted me...distracted me by showing my how the world is made - it was truly fantastic Remi - and then rocked me to sleep, and I awoke here again, rested and healed."[/say] she said, giving him all the details so he couldn't come up with worried stories in his head. [say]"Well, my body healed anyways."[/say] she said with a sigh. Her mind and heart weren't something that could be mended so easily.