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+---- Thread: Sometimes love is a feather (/showthread.php?tid=1116)
Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-19-2019
Remi ran his hands up and down his face, reforming and rewording the thoughts that he'd tried to wrangle into some sort of order. It wasn't easy, but he thought he knew what it was he needed to say, and more importantly, what he needed to communicate. Words had never been his strong suit and honestly part of him had considered letting Sam bite him if only so that they could have this conversations as animals where Remi could simply open up his mind to the bookmaker and let him read therein what he would.
But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't.
And so, letting his hands drop and taking a breath, Remi knocked on the door to bookstore immediately feeling his heart jump into his throat and his stomach plummet all in the same swift and breathless instant.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-19-2019
Sam was simply pottering about. A day with only a few customers left him with a lot of time, and he could only chat to Mia for so long. He had decided to dust his shelves, pull out the books one by one and clean the space behind each.
The knock at the door caught him by surprise; usually people did not knock. Without turning to look, still leaning into the shelf, he yelled: [say]"Come in! The door is open!"[/say] (A yell for Sam was most people's average volume, but it was loud enough for Remi to hear).
As his guest entered Sam stood back from the books and smiled, clearly a little surprised. [say]"Remi! Hello. I didn't think I'd see you again so soon. What a nice surprise."[/say]
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
The sound of Sam's voice sent chills through Remi's spine and a tingling sensation that seemed to bloom in his feet and travel upwards. Clenching his teeth together and inhaling a steadying breath, the alchemist pushed the door open, his eyes immediately falling upon Sam amidst the rows of books.
[say]"Ah, yes. Sorry I saw that you were in and I thought..."[/say] I'd pop by. or I was waiting for you to show up, or we need to talk. But of course you didn't just say those things, and so Remi merely let the door close behind him, offering Sam a warm and boyish smile.
[say]"Do you have a moment?"[/say]
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
[say]"I'm happy to see you, Remi. you needn't explain." [/say] Sam stepped over the books piled around him, putting his dusting cloth down.
When Remi asked for a moment, he immediately felt a little nervous but didn't let it show, going to flip the sign on the door to 'closed' then gesturing to the stairs at the back of the shop. [say]"Of course. Would you like to come upstairs and I could put the kettle on..?"[/say]
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
Honesty was, once upon a time, something the alchemist had in spades. Somewhere along the way he'd lost that boyish and innocent openness, and despite the heaviness he felt in his chest, he was determined not to fall back into old habits.
[say]"No that is alright, I just had some tea. But upstairs would be nice."[/say] Remi said, letting the shakiness of his words spill out into an uncertain smile as he took another stilling breath and climbed the stairs.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
As Sam began to climb his stairs he noted the shaking in Remi's voice. He had always been quick to observe things like that, his paranoia and anxiety about social situations giving him the ability to pick up on anything that could mean someone was displeased with him (though conversely, if he was too internalised on a specific day he could also miss every social cue given).
Upstairs, a lantern dimly lit up the two chairs where they had once kissed, smiled, spoke: though neither of them remembered it. Mia sat on one of the chairs, 'mrrp'-ing and looking up as they came into the loft; Sam picked her up and took her seat, motioned for Remi to sit opposite.
[say]"Is everything alright?"[/say] He asked, hoping for the tension to soon be over, even if it were bad news.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
Sitting down and drawing one sock-less foot onto the chair so that he could wrap his arms around it, Remi smiled in an attempt to soothe and nodded. [say]"Yes, sorry. At least, I think it is. I do not mean to make this all seem mysterious or...more than it is."[/say] Fidgeting slightly with a bit of charcoal he had spilled on his pants, Remi took another deep breath.
[say]"I..."[/say] He began, glancing across at Sam. For a moment Remi let his gaze dip towards Mia, smiling fondly at the animal, before he looked towards the hands nestled in her fur. Part of him thought about reaching across and trying to take that hand, but he was stilled by something.
Looking back towards the stain, Remi smiled slightly, though his eyes were sad as his nimble fingers errantly brushed away the black dust. [say]"I am seeing someone."[/say] He said slowly, his accent thickening with his discomfort, his eyes remaining on his knee for a moment, before glancing sidelong at Sam. [say]"I...suppose I thought you should hear it from me."[/say]
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
At first, with the way Remi seemed so sad, so hesitant, looked at Mia instead of him...Sam wondered if the other man was about to reveal he was terminally ill or something like that. Something world-ending, tragic, awful.
So when he actually heard what the matter was, he felt relieved. And...surprised, at how alright he was with it inside himself. There was a tinge of sadness there, but they had agreed nothing was to happen and he'd managed to do something thinking lately, knew he was only clinging to Remi to find something from a diary of another man...it was a little sad but nothing more.
After a beat of silence he nodded, stroked Mia and looked off towards the stairs, a little faraway smile on his face. [say]"Well. You didn't have to make a trip just for me, though I am touched. I'm...I'm happy for you, Remi. From what I know, you...deserve it. Um..."[/say] Sam didn't know how much was appropriate to ask. Had Remi just come to tell him as a courtesy, or did he actually want to speak?
Actually want to be friends now that romance seemed off the table?
[say]"...Can I know who he is? Tell me a little...a little about him."[/say] He asked, his voice steady and clearly not torn up inside, just a little melancholy at the edges.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
Sam's reaction was completely unexpected. Given how dramatically the man tended to react to situations the alchemist had expected...well, far less rationality. It made sense of course, it wasn't as though Sam remembered him—now it was the alchemist who held the majority of their combined memories—but still Remi felt himself reel ever so slightly.
[say]"Ahh, thank you."[/say] The alchemist replied, slightly bewildered and flustered as he turned in earnest towards the bookmaker, cheeks tinged slightly with pink.
[say]"Do..you really want to know?"[/say] He asked a touch hesitantly, wondering if this was merely some gesture towards maturity that Sam didn't really feel.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
Sam considered the question for a moment. Did he really want to hear about it? On one hand, he knew himself. He knew even with the best will in the world now, he would later turn the description over in his mind, wonder why it was Remi had chosen this fellow over him (though really he knew why; it was a reason that began with his request of the Voice and ended with the letter that had been hopefully burnt by now). On the other, he was curious genuinely for curiousities sake. Wanted to know because he cared for Remi.
[say]"...Yes. I would like to hear about it, if you would like to speak. I...we agreed to be friends, right? And friends speak. I can tell you what it is I have been doing since we last saw each other too."[/say] Mia jumped off Sam's knees and he brought them up to rest across the chair, daintly laid before him bent up. [say]"Some conversation might be nice. I have been alone in the store a lot today, and when that happens I go a little mad."[/say]
Or at least more mad than usual, he thought, but did not say.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
Remi chuckled at Sam's own description of his mental state and nodded. [say]"You are a good man, Sam."[/say] He said softly, sea-glass green eyes gently washing across his once-lover's, now-friend's face.
As for the man he was 'seeing', if that was even the right word for it, Remi didn't really know where to begin.
[say]"His name is Ianto...we knew each other in Northaven, but he was one of the ones whose memories were taken from me. When I met him in the woods once the barrier was down I did not even recognize him."[/say] In his minds-eye Remi could see the lingering disappointment and let down that the alchemist only now really understood. Pausing, Remi wasn't sure what to say next. How to say, he didn't hold it against me that I had forgotten him, or he let me take things at my own pace, because the obvious implication was that Sam had done precisely the opposite in the same situation.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
The sudden compliment caught him off guard, Sam laughing with surprise and automatically shaking his head just slightly as he looked down. Really though, he was quite pleased to hear Remi say it despite the odds, given all that he had done.
Ianto.. The name felt oddly familiar, and once Remi explained Sam looked up with his finger held up. [say]"I mentioned his name in my diaries. Saying you spoke of him. It is...good so many people from your world came through, hm?"[/say] He also did not say something. He wanted to point out how Remi's life seemed so rife with problems and drama surrounding memories, but it was a pointless observation and one that would only cause them both pain.
[say]"So...he was...outside of the barrier? Or was he just exploring out? Is he...a Fae?"[/say] If he was, Sam would be a little worried, after his rescue mission to the heart of Sidhe.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Remi - 05-20-2019
Blinking rather stupidly, the alchemist tilted his head as he might have done as a bird. It was still strange to know that their history had seemingly been meticulously captured by the bookmaker. Though Remi would never ask, he did wonder just how much had been recorded, and how much of it Sam read. And how often.
[say]"I suppose, yes."[/say] Remi said brandishing a slow smile. [say]"Ahh, no. Not fae. He is an attuned, here. A shapechanger back in Northaven."[/say] The alchemist answered with a gentle smile. [say]"For some reason he was not brought through with the rest of us. He spent almost a full year outside, able to see through but being basically alone."[/say] Frowning, Remi took a breath, tilting his head against the back of the chair to lazily look at Sam.
[say]"I hope you do not take this the wrong way, but I thought you would be...I do not know. Not upset perhaps but...given everything.."[/say] Unsure where that sentence was going, Remi let the words trail off, concluding with a boyish shrug.
RE: Sometimes love is a feather - Samuel - 05-20-2019
An Attuned, just like Remi...ah. Sam felt something that still wasn't quite jealously, just the same melancholy, twinge in his chest. They probably had a connection. Ianto had probably been happy to see a familiar face after a year alone outside of the barrier. He supposed it was natural.
[say]"I see. Well...I suppose it is good he was reunited with his people in the end. Perhaps some good came of the barrier's fall after all."[/say] It was really the first positive he'd heard of. What with the Outlander and Natural fights, the traumatic Spire mission, the issues with the Fae...as far as Sam was concerned, it had been nothing but trouble since the barrier had gone down.
He watched Remi frown, wondered if he was about to say something secret about Ianto like but actually he has quite smelly feet. The question surprised him and he rubbed the back of his neck, frowned. [say]"Well...I shan't lie, I am a little sad. Or...not sad, but...you know. It is not the happiest news for me. But. You are my friend now, Remi, and I was thinking recently that I should take this time to make myself better, because.."[/say] Sam sighed. [say]"I realised after a recent conversation with Jigano there is much room for improvement. I think I was so desperate for...any kind of approval, from you. But I think I could...get it just being a fr--I've made this about me. I apologise."[/say]
Sam cleared his throat. [say]"The point is, I'm...I'm fine. Really. And I.....do mean it, when I say I'm happy for you. You could tell me more, if you like."[/say]