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+---- Thread: the most dangerous thing is to love (/showthread.php?tid=11314)
the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-12-2025
It's a long fucking way from Aumakua to the Court of Stars, and Koa is keenly aware of every. single. step. He's trying to move in a way that's simultaneously fluid and hurried, to get his cousin's ass to the fountain without causing more damage than what's already been done. The extent of which Koa has no earthly idea, because while he has enough field medic training to ensure the boy was stable, his knowledge of what a lightning strike might due to one internally is far outside any training he'd ever received. There's a lot he doesn't know right now, but ultimately that doesn't matter.
What matters is what he does know:
1. He'd been heading to the lighthouse when a bolt of electricity thundered out of a cloudless sky.
No, seriously - one minute it had been a cloudless summer evening, the next, BTTZ, a the smell of ozone and flash of light brighter than Safrin's tits. All the hair on Koa's arms had stood up. It had been fucking wild.
2. He'd made it barely 5 more steps when Kaisel pretty much materialized on the beach, looking like badly burnt bbq and smelling even worse.
Like, bad. Bad bad. At first he'd been utterly bewildered, but as Kai slumped over in the sand Koa knew something was utterly wrong. He'd barely even recognized his cousin - his skin was puckered and pink and crispy, his face slack with pain and lack of consciousness, his hair a halo of electrified ends.
3. Kaisel was not dead.
Not that he'd been sure, at first. In those first few moments of stuttering shock between seeing his cousin and landing to his knees beside him, Koa had been absolutely certain he was dead. Terror had gripped him in frigid, skeletal fingers, threatening to rattle him out of any ability to coherently think or speak. Thank fuck for the training that kept him calm in this sort of situation, the ability to compartmentalizing like a boss. It was only that partitioning of his brain that allowed him to see through the tv-static of panic, to perform the motions and assess that oh my god thank fucking Rae and Vi and Mort and Dyrga, the idiot's alive.
4. There is a healing spring back in the Court of Stars.
Which brings us back to the beginning, and the long march across the sand. He'd stripped his own shirt, wrapping makeshift bandages of flamingoes and leaves around the worst of the injuries until his cousin resembled a Florida Fried mummy. Then he'd hauled Kaisel over his shoulder, adjusting the weight as best he could. He hadn't stopped speaking the whole time, hoping his voice would keep his cousin focus, alternating between scolding and cajoling and cheerleading as appropriate. It'd been a long fucking road, but finally, here they were.
[say]"See? Told you we'd fucking make it."[/say] Koa stops before the fountain, his knees shaking as he contemplates. He's pretty sure one is meant to drink it, but the idea of setting Kaisel down and then getting a cup and then forcing the water down his throat is absolutely laughable. He's already fucking exhausted, every ounce of his energy and then some spent on getting his cousin here. And so after a moment's hesitation he half-shrugs the shoulder not supporting his cousin and takes a step into the crystalline water. Occam's razor and all that shit.
Shifting Kaisel in his arms with an apology and a wince, Koa cradles his baby cousin against his chest as they both sink into the opts to cool, clear pool. He hopes the way his heart is pounding doesn't injure Kai any more, fears that it's enough to rattle both of them to their bones. [say]"C'mon, kiddo,"[/say] Koa coaxes, pleads, orders, his fingers leaving rivulets where they stroke his cousin's face. [say]"Open your eyes."[/say] Maybe it's messy, and unnecessary, and extra, but Koa isn't taking any chances. The last person he cared about who got electrified fucking died.
He isn't giving anyone else to Mort without a fight.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-12-2025
There's a fading of sensation that comes in and out, like the tide across his mind, awareness spilling in every so often with with a groan and a flutter of eyes before it's pulled back away and he sinks into that unrelenting pain and the quiet of nothing.
The next thing Kaisel knows is water. As consciousness stutters back and the fountain stitches the shredded parts of him back together, what he knew before meshes with what is here now. The liquid, nothing like the sea, feels like the ocean reaching up to pluck his battered body from the shore where the spirit had deposited him. There, in the depths, some shark would likely get to him finally.
Shark.
Kaisel twitches, legs flailing, arms writhing against the hold of his cousin, Koa's fingertips like sharp teeth lurking out of the depths just like Kaisel knew they would. He doesn't know up or down and sinks for a moment under water, inhaling it in a gasp as his eyes flick open. He lurches up, breaking the surface with a sputter and a wet cough, hanging onto Koa as he chokes out a breath, and then another.
No sharks. No beach. Just his cousin and a weird bath.
His head hangs, wet hair streaming excess water and drips plonking from his chin and nose. His grip slackens a bit on Koa as his vision clears, the warm glow of the water working its way in to repair and mend that which had fried and failed. He could still taste the tang on the back of his tongue, like he'd kissed Mort's heel briefly and the afterlife set like a bad aftertaste. [say]"Koa?"[/say] he manages weakly, leaning now for the side of the fountain, heavy on it as his other hand pulls the water from his face and sweeps his hair back. [say]"Wh—what happened. Aren't I dead?"[/say]
Kaisel fucked around and he sure found out. Grandpa Jack does not like dick jokes. Duly noted.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-14-2025
Koa counts the seconds that trod on like years, and still Kai doesn't wake. [Say]"C'mon c'mon c'mon,"[/say] he mutters, a prayer and a command as he watches for something, anything, some sign that he hasn't been too late. But Kai's breaths stay shallow, his chest rising and falling as politely as the water in a kiddie pool. Koa doesn’t want polite. He wants his cousin with all his flaws and rough edges and easy laugh, with that youthful confidence and cocksure stupidity that endears him to everyone he meets. He wants a tidal wave.
It almost drowns him when it hits.
Not literally - Kai may be swinging with all his might, but he's still as weak as a newborn seal, the thrashing of his limbs more flail than fight. Relief surges through Koa like a flash flood; [say]"Thank Safrin,"[/say] he chokes, half laugh, half sob, pulling Kaisel to his feet.
He releases his cousin to lean on the fountain but remains hovering close, ready to grab him should he fall. [Say]"It's me,"[/say] Koa confirms, leaning heavily on the marble as relief and exhaustion make his legs quake. He's laughing again, shaking his head, wet hair plastered above his eyes. [Say]"No, you're not dead."[/say] He reaches for Kai, squeezing his forearm in physical confirmation of this fact. [say]"Though not for lack of fucking trying. What the fuck happened out there, Kai?"[/say] Who did his cousin royally piss off, to be left a semi-conscious basket of Kentucky Fried Kaisel?
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-14-2025
Koa's squeeze feels real enough, doesn't just pass through like Kaisel's arm is made of only ectoplasm and memories, and doesn't feel numb like the motions of a dream. The world settles a bit more firmly with that realization, like gravity finally just turned back on and every scattered thought billows back against him, raw and chaotic and alive. He tilts his head back and laughs, the sound unprompted and maniacal in volume and length.
Gods, he's alive!
[say]"Oooooooh—fuuuuuuck,"[/say] he breaths, humor fading into subtle shoulder shakes and choppy exhales, but the smile is still plastered on his face, long and stupid and acutely smug. [say]"Guess I have you to thank."[/say] He tilts his head back up to behold his amazing, lifesaving, kickass cousin. He reaches out and grasps both sides of Koa's face, holding him locked in a serious stare for a moment, features drawn neutral. [say]"Gods I could kiss you right now bro. My ass was grass back there."[/say] He opts instead for an affectionate cheek pat before hanging his arms back over the side of the fountain, like this is a casual jacuzzi hang out now.
Here's the thing about Kaisel. If he has tea, he's spilling it. He's too animated of a talker to keep cups within reach of his swinging hands and yapping mouth. Don't tell him any secrets, he won't keep 'em. Don't trust him with tact, he'll blow shit up given the first opportunity.
[say]"You ever meet Jack before?"[/say] Kaisel asks casually as he ruffles his fingers through his hair and tries to put it all back right, despite the toasted edges. [say]"I don't recommend it if you haven't. Guy packs a punch without even using his hands,"[/say] Kaisel arches a 'brow and sets a glance at Koa that seems to imply, kinda like you, though it's not the same. [say]"I was trying to egg him on, get him to admit he's a piece of shit so I could sock him, but he roasted me before I even knew what he was doing. Cool as a cucumber the whole time. Annoying as hell to be honest."[/say] Flora had neglected to mention those things about Jack.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-16-2025
There's the manic pixie dream cousin Koa knows and loves. A knot of anxiety releases from Koa's chest; he pats Kai's shoulder wetly, his own expression slightly crazed with the adrenaline high he has yet to crash off of. [say]"Dude, you were roasted. Here, let's see the damage."[/say] He wades through the fountain to stand at Kaisel's back, hands gentle as they begin to unwrap the makeshift bandages and reveal the healing wounds beneath.
Koa freezes mid-motion when his cousin speaks again. [say]"Jack?"[/say] he echoes, a hard line of tension thrumming in his voice, like metal which has been struck by a blacksmith's heavy blow. [say]"Jack did this?"[/say] Even if it hadn't been Kaisel, even if he hadn't seen the charred body curled on the sand, the reaction would be the same. Fury rushes through him like a jolt, pooling molten in his core while the edges harden and snap. The why doesn't matter (though maybe it should, Kai had egged him on like a shitty splinter between his toes) - he barely listens to the explanation, because he's already judged the man in his mind. Jack had taken Flora from Koa.
Now he'd tried to steal his cousin, too?
[say]"He nearly murdered you, Kai."[/say] There's an eerie calm in Koa now; should Kai look back he'll see not the fun, quick-to-smile cousin he'd grown up alongside, but a young Commander brimming with a need to see justice done. [say]"I'm going to take you home, and then I'm going to report this to Flora and Hadama. This cannot be allowed to go unpunished."[/say] He doesn't give a flying fuck about how hard it is to talk to Flora, the tangled history between them, the way she makes him feel - this is a crime against his family, and Koa can put aside his heartbreak in the name of seeing his cousin's attacker made to pay for his crimes.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-16-2025
Kaisel stands up more to expose the biggest section of ruin from the water for easier view. He glances back over his shoulder, pulling his arms forward a bit to yank the skin more taut. He can't really see it, but he knows it entered there between his shoulder blades, white hot and searing like nothing he's ever felt before. [say]"How's it look?"[/say] he asks with an arched 'brow. [say]"There a sick scar or did the healing remove it?"[/say] Only one answer will leave him disappointed.
As he's explaining it all, something in Koa goes stiff, like a fear-boner. It's not in his pants though, it's the set of his jaw, the line that goes taut along his back, the crispy edge of his eyes that seem ready to splinter into ice. The fixing of Kaisel's hair stills, hand falling to the back of his neck, tugging at the tension there as Kaisel tries to redirect the conversation back a bit to the celebration of being alive rather than whatever cold thing is running rampant through his cousin now. [say]"Yeah, but, he didn't."[/say] Maybe he should be more upset too, but Kaisel just kinda feels, relief. In part because he knows, for sure now, that Jack is a dickbag. The other part is probably because he's still riding that edge of euphoria over being not murdered. Maybe even a smidge of it is because, fuck, now Koa's upset and he hadn't meant for that to happen.
He hadn't really meant for any of this to happen.
Koa's entered that, I'm not angry I'm just gonna detonate soon stage, and Kaisel's desperate to find where that trigger is to make sure no fingers fumble around it. He normally defers to Koa's experience and instinct, trusts his cousin completely, respects him immensely, but Kaisel's also never done anything to get in Koa's line of sight quite like this, and doesn't want to be the cause of it to zeroing in on the royalty of another kingdom. [say]"Koa,"[/say] Kaisel begins, mouth suddenly full of cotton. [say]"Look, if you're gonna punish anyone, punish me. I was the one being an ass."[/say] The steel in Koa's voice tempts him to tack on a sir, like he's back in boot camp and has just failed to stand at attention straight enough. [say]"I mean...he definitely could have just punched me instead of being fucking dramatic about it, but all's well that ends well, right?[/say] AKA don't embarrass him by telling Hadama and Flora he got his ass cooked.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-19-2025
[say]"It looks like you got struck by fucking lightning,"[/say] Koa replies, a little more drily than the situation calls for. The puckered skin on his cousin's back is already cooling into a shiny scar, a lichtenberg figure fanning out from the base of his neck and down his spine. [say]"It's kinda badass, actually,"[/say] he adds almost reluctantly, because while the last thing he wants to suggest is that there was any benefit to Kai's aggressive game of fuck-around-and-find-out, the testosterone-fueled boy within him has to admit that the thing's pretty fucking sick.
But sick scar or not, Koa is not about to let Jack get away with trying to roast his kin. [say]"A kid being an ass does not justify attempted murder."[/say] And sure, maybe there's some room for argument that this wasn't actually a murder attempt, just a really bad assault, but the set of Koa's jaw and the glint in his eye strongly suggests he is not currently open to arguing the point.
Taking a step back, Koa fixes his cousin with a tight-lipped frown. [say]"If this was someone else - if another Breaker reported to you they'd been assaulted in Torchline - would you tell them they're just being dramatic?"[/say] Shaking his head, Koa fists his hands hard enough to leave half-moon indentations that the fountain immediately soothes. [say]"I am a Dragoon, and you are a citizen of Stormbreak. Even if it wasn't you, I would need to file a report."[/say] The fact that it is Kai makes Koa that much less likely to yield.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-19-2025
[say]"The air did taste a little spicy,"[/say] Kaisel remarks, attempting to glance back over his shoulder at the marking Koa describes, but to no avail. He can feel it though, the way some of the skin seems to be tugged tight, unwilling to give like it used to. He sets one hand across his shoulder and over his back, fingertips tracing the the fern-pattern of Jack's mercy. [say]"Too bad it wasn't from something better,"[/say] he laments, much preferring some kaiju-level creature slain by his prowess than the backhanded wave of a scrungly piece of shit.
[say]"I'm not a fucking kid,"[/say] comes his interjection, a thin edge clipping his voice, though he knows it's not wise to return fire at Koa when he's already got a grip on a trigger. It's not the first time his cousin has made him feel inept though, like all his efforts barely deserve a title, much less recognition, so the anger comes quick, built up in small layers over time where Kaisel has tried to shrug it off and ignore it for favor of proving Koa wrong which actions instead of words. Unfortunately this action seems to have done the opposite.
Rolling his eyes, Kaisel glowers into the distance, his own expression growing thin with distaste at the topic. [say]"I am also a Dragoon, Koa,"[/say] Kaisel says with a lifted volume, bristling at the fact his cousin can't even grant him that label among all the rest. He locks his eyes with his commander, iron to ice, but he knows this is a losing battle. Experience is begging him to pick them more wisely. Koa has command and protocol on his side, nevermind the desire too, Kaisel's just asking him not to because of who he is, not inspite of it. He sighs in forfeit of the locked wills and begins to clamber out of the fountain, hands slicking water off his skin. [say]"Just, do whatever you have to, you will anyway. I expect I'll get my demerits back in Stormbreak, sir, so see you there."[/say]
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-21-2025
It's whiplash as Kaisel snaps from loose and easy to taut as wire; Koa's recoils as though he's been slapped, shock and anger stinging on his cheeks. His eyes narrow, jaw set and teeth groaning as he glowers, bewildered, at his cousin's back. So Jack nearly turns Kai into blackened bacon, but somehow he's the asshole?
Cool cool cool cool cool.
[Say]"Then act like it!"[/say] Koa snaps, mirroring the way Kai's hackles raise, the same proud defensiveness a fire in both their eyes. They're cut from the same cloth, after all, complimentary motifs of men woven by both nature and nurture to bruise in all of the similar ways. But it's hard to see past the glare of the glass as their eyes meet like iron and steel, sparks flying, pent up adrenaline needing somewhere to go.
Away seems to be where Kaisel lands, which rankles Koa that much more. His hands fist beneath the water, anger and hurt roiling in the base of his gut, begging for release. 'Don't turn your back on me!' coils on his tongue like a snake ready to spring, venomous and demanding and entirely unhelpful because, fuck, that isn't what he wants to be. He wants to be a commander his troops can turn to, a man his family can look up to, a beacon of bravery to whom others can look.
But gods, he keeps fucking it up.
[Say]"I thought you were dead, Kai."[/say] Strained and constricted by anger and fear, Koa's voice cuts over the fountain like the creak of bending wood. [Say]"I saw you lying there, not moving, barely breathing, fried to a fucking crisp, and I thought you were dead and I--"[/say]
He breaks away as his voice catches, fists clenched at his side. His eyes flick to the Court in the distsnce, focusing on chiseled marble as he forces himself to breathe. When he finally manages to speak again its softer, earnest and honest and raw and tired. [Say]"I know you're not a kid, Kai. And I'm sorry if I've treated you like one. You're as much a Dragoon as I am, and you're getting stronger every day, and someday you're gonna fully outpace me - hell, I'll be mad if you don't."[/say] He chuckles softly, unshed tears stinging in his eyes.
He takes a step forward, reaching for Kaisel's shoulder to spin him around, hoping the distance between them isn't too big to breach. Tugging his cousin in toward him, he envelops the slimmer boy in a bear hug that makes their chests squelch as water escapes the compressed gap. [Say]"But you're still my baby cousin, and I'm sorry dude, but that's never gonna change. Even when we're 85 have to use walkers to fight, you'll still be the kid whose diapers I changed, and I'll still be the overprotective asshole who wants to keep you safe."[/say]
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-21-2025
There it is. The thing Kaisel has been trying to avoid—Koa's trigger pull. Maybe it could have been dodged if Kaisel had just swallowed his anger again, but you can only hold something back for so long the more it grows.
It stings, to be thought so little of by someone he admires. Not that he doubts Koa loves him, that's never been the issue. He doesn't want Koa's affection, he wants his respect. Kaisel's been working hard, so he thought, but it always feels a bit too little too late. Koa just continues to climb, and his efforts are paltry in comparison. He's trying to be the obedient Dragoon and come up the same way Koa had. He wants to honor his family with the work they all take such pride in, but it always feels like one of them is telling him to hang back and stay safe.
Safety just feels like a pretty name for being limited.
Even so, he knows—knows that Koa doesn't mean it, not in that way. So he just wants to get the fuck out, put some distance between them, give that ugly anger some breath so it can dive back under the surface a while longer. Something stronger than air strikes the feeling though. Guilt. It cuts across him like a frigid wind, rendering him stationary. Fuck.
Everything that felt tight now sags, the weight of the ire tugging on it all as it sinks back into his gut. [say]"Koa..."[/say] he starts to say, but his words falter the way Koa's did, fingers curling and uncurling at his side as he searches for something solid among the tide of regret. He would be dead without Koa. He owes him more than some slack, definitely owes him more than a pouting outburst.
Kaisel sighs, an unnatural frown finding him as he looks at his worry worn cousin. [say]"Sorry. I just..."[/say] Just didn't think, again? Just have to prove everyone right by continuing to fuck up? Just have to admit he's as weak as they all know, and that's why they cradle him in safety?
Kaisel laughs faintly in return to Koa's apology, falling into the squishy hug with a thin exhale, full of too many things so they just come out like a coca-cola laugh, one that's been shaken before being opened. [say]"At that point someone will have to change your diapers too."[/say] He can't fault Koa, not really. All the blame is squarely on him, whether he wants to fully recognize that or not yet.
[say]"I think I've overstayed my welcome at Torchline,"[/say] he admits with a grimace as he pulls back from the hug, hands braced on Koa's shoulder's holding him with slackened tension. [say]"I clearly need to get back to focusing on training, especially if I need to learn how to wield walkers now. I'm just...well I'm sorry, that I fucked it up and caused problems now."[/say]
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Koa - 05-27-2025
There's a lesson in here about grief and trauma, the ways loss can make us overcompensate with stifling protectiveness. The loss of Mahina, their generational matriarch, had a trickle-down effect on the family, culminating squarely at Kaisel's feet. Add the disappearance of Anju, the corruption of Noe, and the general uncertainty of their home, and could you blame them all for trying to shield Kai against the world?
Getting himself nearly nuked out of existence isn't helping things.
Koa lets him pull away, though a part of him yearns to keep his cousin tucked safe and secure against his chest. Sighing heavily, he runs his fingers through his damp mop of hair. [say]"Definitely enough of Torchline,"[/say] the Dragoon agrees, weariness lining his voice, his eyes. [say]"Let's go home. We can start working on training, maybe get some armor on you- ah, fuck, what'm I gonna say to your folks?"[/say] He grimaces, thinking about the chastising they're both sure to get from his aunt and uncle once the news gets back.
Placing his hand on Kaisel's shoulder, Koa starts to lead his cousin back to dry land. [say]"Look... I won't report officially this if you really don't want me to. But Flora and Hadama will find out. Electrocuting someone on a beach isn't exactly subtle."[/say] Anger flashes molten in his gaze; he forces his clenched jaw to relax.
[say]"But if you really don't want me to try and get Jack held accountable... that's your call. Just know I will beat the shit out of him, if I ever see him again."[/say] A promise that bodes no room for argument, even if Koa's the one who winds up Kentucky Fried next time.
RE: the most dangerous thing is to love - Kaisel - 05-28-2025
There's a tilt to Kaisel's smile, eyes brightening as Koa suggests training and armor. [say]"Yeah?"[/say] he asks, boyish with the excitement for the loose promises, adding in a sigh, [say]"maybe something lightning-proof."[/say] What goes up must come down though, right? His features fall at the mention of his parents finding out, which to be honest he hadn't even thought of yet, and he groans as his hand smacks his forehead, stressing anew. [say]"What do you mean, you're the hero, I'm the fuck up. I'll be lucky if they let me leave the house in the next 5 years."[/say]
Fortunately, Koa delivers a slight respite, one Kaisel is infinitely thankful for. [say]"Yeah, thanks, but I'd prefer not to broadcast my fucks ups if it can be helped. If they find out, well, then they find out. But It's different for you to tell them."[/say] Kaisel glances over at Koa, hoping that made any sense at all.
[say]"Deal,"[/say] Kaisel says with a grin as they head out of the courtyard and meander back to the skyport. [say]"You can fuckin' take him down for sure."[/say]
[FIN]