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+---- Thread: [SE] I wish words didn't break you inside (/showthread.php?tid=11705)
I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-10-2025
A low tune whistles out as Colt bends down and rummages among the hedges, the sound at times drifting into a lazy hum. Somewhere nearby, a bay horse grazes, his lips working through the drier parts of the plant and shifting across the dirt like a brush, selecting only the most prime morsels. The ones that are shortest, and therefore sweetest.
Colt's got on a pair of old jeans, ones that are a bit frayed on the bottoms and stained in various places. One of the pockets has a clearly re-sewn stitch pattern, and across the knees the fabric has grown so thin a few sections have started to split into just the strands that hold each edge together. Her boots look just as weathered, no spurs today, and her hat has creases that won't come out and some sweat stains. It's stormy enough in the distance, clouds hung low and dark and wavy, that she's got her black duster coat on over her pale violet button-up shirt.
An assortment of gardening tools are scattered around her feet, a horse grooming bucket behind her serving as the original tote. She fights against some hungry weeds that have threaded into the roses, steadily hacking away at their base with a spade.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-14-2025
Venturing out relatively far from home but without all of the worry of the void coming to snatch her in her day to day, Caly’s found she’d drifted quite a ways away from the main road that she’d heard lead through the entirety of King’s End. She’d ended up here, stuck in a maze that seemed to have a life of its own, one that she’d deftly been careful in avoiding getting herself trapped.
Having spotted the flame in the center at least half an hour ago, by the time she runs back toward the entrance (and relatively sure that she’d gotten back to the start), she spots a different kind of movement. A woman — familiar, at that — which she immediately heads toward. A sunny smile is offered, as is a wave before she tightens the ivory shawl around her shoulders over her mustard yellow sweater and black pants that seem to have one or two leaves stuck to them. “[say]Hey. Colt, right?[/say]” She asks, getting a little closer to see what she’s up to.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-15-2025
The sound of an approach cuts her tune short, amber gaze peering curiously over her shoulder just as Caly calls out her name. The nearby horse flicks and ear their way but otherwise goes unbothered by the addition. [say]"Hey!"[/say] she calls back, recognition lighting up her face into something a bit warmer than before. [say]"Yeah, that's me,"[/say] she affirms, tilting the brim of her hat in a nod of greeting. She straightens up, sitting back on her knees a bit more, the weed still grasped in her hand flung absently to the side.
[say]"How ya been, Caly?"[/say] she asks conversationally more than anything, though admittedly given the last time she saw her had been the theatrical birthday, she hopes the answer can only be better. [say]"It's a nice day out,"[/say] Colt offers instead, a distraction if the truth of a response weighs too heavy. She gestures towards the mostly cloudless sky, the temperatures cool enough to require some layers, but not biting yet. [say]"Thought I'd help spruce up the area before all the storms start to roll in and set the weeds racing."[/say] There's an unspoken offer in it, for Caly to join her if she likes, find some peace of mind in the way working land only seems to be able to offer, at least in Colt's opinion. The unused tools scattered around suggest as much in whatever Colt doesn't say. [say]"Unless you're dead set on testing your sense of direction?"[/say] there's a knowing tilt of her head, taking in some of the leaves clinging stubbornly to Caly's legs.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-21-2025
Stepping closer now that Colt’s exactly who the young attuned thought she was, the smile that graces her face is sunny as it is warm, despite the leaves that stick and poke out of her clothes and the very obvious struggle she’d had getting the fuck out of the maze this far. As for how she’s been and how nice of a day it is, Caly nods a touch thoughtfully, relaxing immediately now that she has company. “[say]Not too bad. Been better, though.[/say]” She admits with a soft laugh at her own expense. “[say]Sounds nice, though.[/say]” In terms of sprucing things up.
And rather than verbalize the agreement that’s unspoken, Caly kneels beside Colt and peers at the roses that have weeds sprouting up between their thorny branches. “[say]Gods no. Think I’ve done enough testin’ for a lifetime.[/say]” She answers the tease the other woman has said, before she’s reaching in to snag one of the weeds and plucks it. “[say]Real happy to help, trust me. How’ve you been?[/say]” She asks, angling her head slightly to glance over at Colt.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-21-2025
Not too bad and been better sounds about right, Colt thinks. [say]"Could be worse, so sounds like a good day to me,"[/say] Colt remarks, dusting some mud off her cheek with the back of her hand. Sometimes being above ground is the best fucking day you can have, and usually those days make all the shitty ones before it seem golden, so it's all relative anyway.
Colt laughs openly at how adamant Caly is about avoiding the rest of the maze's twists and turns, settling into the work like someone starving coming to the dinner table. [say]"Don't worry, I'll make sure we both make it out before sundown,"[/say] she reassures with a wink. Even for her, someone who's raced this labyrinth since childhood, she has days where she gets turned around in here. Hell, she gets turned around in her own mind sometimes, but today she knows the path out, and her horses have always seemed to pick the path easier than her.
Shimmying further down the line of hedge, Colt leans halfway under it with a trowel to nab all the things packing into the shade and the wet, robust in their number but weak in their grip. She drags them out in a heap, grumbling through the effort a bit as she backs out to the front of the hedge with a sigh. [say]"Oh, I'm pretty good,"[/say] she says with a glance towards Caly, her pinky grabbing a stray hair from the corner of her mouth. [say]"Not so many broken fences to fix in this weather. The studs and the bulls all calm down a bit more, and the babes and the mothers are all separated by now and growing the next year's crop."[/say] There's a seasonal flow to her work that maintains a nice repetition among all the daily bullshit and chaos. [say]"Just brought in the cattle for the year, gotta brand 'em and castrate 'em next. With all the meadows dying off, we swap over to hay instead of pasture for the rest of the year."[/say] She stops suddenly, laughing a little. [say]"Sorry, I realize you didn't ask for a ranch report."[/say] There are times like this when she realizes how much of herself she's put into the daily work of it, and wonders if that's something she ought to be proud of or not. It's like when someone asks who you are and you can't seem to find any words to explain except all the ones that are the things you do.
[say]"Anyway, one thing after another, like always, but I'll take that over bored any day."[/say]
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-24-2025
It certainly could be worse, she supposes. Even if she has a few twigs stuck in her hair and leaves along her clothes. At least now she doesn’t have to meander aimlessly alone, sure that Colt would make sure she made it out of there. She doesn’t know much about the other woman, but she does know that she seemed a little buddy-buddy to her brother and that’s at least worth something. “[say]Thanks.[/say]” She says with a soft laugh as she gets to work, kneeling down amongst flattened grass and dirt, figuring how much worse could her outfit really get?
She works as she listens, a lot of it not really making sense to the extent that she’s sure Colt means it in, but at least it’s elaborated enough that she can follow along. She pulls and tugs the weeds out and makes a neat little pile of the pesky things, moving down the line to the other edge of the hedge when she’s sure she’d gotten this portion of the hedge cleared out. “[say]Oh, it’s all good. I dunno much about ranch life, honestly.[/say]” She admits with a chime of a sunny laugh.
But then she’s glancing over at Colt curiously, head tilting as a stray golden curl brushes against her shoulder. “[say]Are ya happy, at least?[/say]” With the work, with the tasks she had, the life she was living.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-26-2025
Colt hums a bit, more in thought than work, though she has returned to digging around a particularly thick stem of a weed that resisted her yanking. [say]"It's hard, honest work,"[/say] she says in an attempt to simplify it. [say]"Can't cheat or pretend much, you'll get exposed pretty quick when everything starts going wrong and dyin' around ya, and then all your money and all the trust dries up."[/say] From the men, from the horses, from the dogs. They all need to be able to count on each other to get the day done, each and every day. [say]"Not sure I'd trade it for anything else though."[/say] A fond smile settles, though it fades as she sets her strength into the excavated weed and heaves back. It resists briefly before the ground shifts enough underneath and the green stalk gives way, nearly tipping her back on her ass. She flings it behind her with victory and distaste in equal measure.
[say]"Always good to find purpose, yanno? Something that needs you, something you can pour yourself into, however much of it that may be. Keeps the quiet days loud."[/say] She glances across at Caly, figuring she's still working on finding her calling and how exactly to manage herself around fresh and raw feelings, around the quiet that intrudes and makes you stalk through labyrinths.
At her question though, Colt pauses, leaning into the depth of her trowel as it sinks into the dirt. [say]"Am I supposed to give you the easy answer, and say yeah, and we go about our time like it ain't nothin'?"[/say] That's the kind of hollow response she'd expect to give to someone she barely knows, but maybe it's the seclusion of the hedges and the physical act of removing all the unwanted, suffocating plants around them that makes her feel like they could do the same for themselves. [say]"Or you want the truth, even if it's not so shiny, and it hurts a bit more?"[/say]
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-27-2025
Pulling weeds out from between the hedges, pulling back a few branches in order to get them unlooped from it, it’s a good enough distraction for Caly as she listens to Colt explain what ranch work was like. Honest, hard, there’s accountability there. And the way the older woman talks about it seems to scream something that Caly decidedly would not be that good at. Not that she’s intending on switching up her life for a life surrounded by taking care of animals nonstop. She was half animal herself, after all.
But the bar was something good. She could pour herself into it when Flora wasn’t asking if she wanted to give it back. When she wanted a quiet moment to pour drinks and enjoy herself and the way the tavern lit up and sparkled like a star when the vibes were just right. It’s enough of a thought that has her glancing back over at the blonde, nodding her understanding. “[say]Yeah, I can get that.[/say]” And she can, truly, understand it when she puts it into something she enjoyed doing.
But then she’s asking her question and the answer comes in such a way that she can’t help the chime of a laugh that leaves her, sitting back on her legs to let her amber gaze flit over toward Colt. “[say]Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want the truth, y’know. Anyone can give a placatin’ answer if they don’t wanna say what's real.[/say]” But given that Colt had offered the alternative, it’s clear she isn’t opposed to talking about it.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-27-2025
A simper fits into place as Caly acts like the choice is obvious. [say]"I've known plenty of people that don't want the truth when they ask, and plenty more who still don't even when they say they do."[/say] Sometimes it seems like truth is just something nice in theory, an idea you can't help but be drawn to, but a reality often too cutting to hold. The truth doesn't always have to hurt, but it often does, because the nature of things when they're laid bare is to be little bit more rough and ugly. That's why everyone spends so much time finding ways to cover up, be it lies or secrets, makeup or clothing, pavement or fire, something's always trying to hide the ugly truth of the world.
[say]"Next time your favorite vendor asks you how your day is, tell 'em the truth and see what happens."[/say] She laughs a little at the notion, picturing some stunned stall keeper held hostage with a litany of grievances against life. [say]"But sure, truth it is."[/say] Her amber gaze returns to Caly, features softening a bit, a smile still lingering, but one that doesn't seem so practiced, so it isn't so bright as before.
[say]"Mm, I think happy is something you just work on chasing, not so much what you attain."[/say] It's all about the adventure, not the destination, right? [say]"Because it sure seems when you should be happy, there's still something bad, or something wrong, like a thread begging to be pulled and undo it all."[/say] She sets back into the work, like each weed is one that has personally taken root in her happiness and she means to rip it free. [say]"You just get a few moments of it here and there, like playing cards with the ranch hands and going on a winning streak,"[/say] her grin broadens a bit at that. [say]"Or finally breaking through to a starter horse and seeing them get it, what you're asking, for the first time, making all the rest of the rides and communication better. Nights shooting the shit with friends near a fire pit, drinks in hand."[/say] A pause, a glance shot over her shoulder at Caly. [say]"Any time I spend with Vesper."[/say] There's an uncharacteristic shyness to the smile that lingers after his name. She'd certainly been hoping Caly's appearance meant he'd be stumbling out of the shrubs not long after her, but seems she's out of luck again.
[say]"So, yeah, once in a while, with the right day and the right people, I'm happy, for long enough to give me the strength to keep slogging through all the other shitty times."[/say] Happy can be relative though. She thought she was happy once before too, but turns out she was just in love, and that's hell. [say]"I think if happy's your aim though, you'll never be satisfied. Better to let it sneak up on you."[/say]
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-28-2025
Caly can’t help the soft laugh that leaves her when Colt explains when people do and don’t want the truth, and it takes everything in her to hide the shine of her smile behind her shoulder as she snags more weeds from under the hedges and moves down the row further. “[say]I mean, that’s a time ’n place, ain’t it?[/say]” She suggests, humming a soft sound. “[say]That’s the kinda shit people tell their bartenders after they’ve had a couple’ve drinks. The person makin’ my coffee in the mornin’ just wanna get the job done ’n go home.[/say]” Time and place.
But she was also the bartender that often had people’s life stories given to her completely unannounced, and she gets to be the person that doesn’t sit starry eyed and shocked that she’d got an honest answer to the question that she asked.
Even still, she grows quiet, listening to the underlining advice that Colt has to offer. That happiness wasn’t a state of being so much as it was a fleeting moment, one that you sometimes didn’t recognize when it was occurring only to realize it was there long after, in the quiet highlight reel of one’s life.
So she mulls it over as she tugs the weeds from the roots, pausing to glance over only when she mentions her brother, and Caly’s smile softens a touch. “[say]You really like him, huh?[/say]” She asks, not trying to pry but wanting to make sure that she does in the way that a protective sibling would.
“[say]I do appreciate the advice, though. It’s… Real helpful right now for me.[/say]” She admits, burying herself in the work and dirt of removing weeds wrapped around thorny stalks of roses.
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Colt - 07-29-2025
Caly has a point, but where she's certain, Colt's unsure about this being the right time and place. Caly might be a bartender, but there's no bar or alcohol in sight here, and Colt always figured the bartenders had shit to do too and didn't really want to be in charge of the man crying into his gin and tonic and at the corner. Just the inevitability of a dark room and too much drink than the proper time and place, though definitely better than to a barista, not that they don't get their fair share of criers too. There's not a lot of history between them to inspire the same sort of confidence in Colt, but at Caly's persistence, Colt obliges.
Colt leans up over one knee for a minute, pile of weeds scattered around her, dirt smeared like too dark foundation against her chin. Her other leg remains folded under her, and she rests for a minute in thought at Caly's question. Time and place again, and what maybe should have been an easy answer to be truthful about, is one that has continued to keep Colt tangled up since returning from the desert run. Better to stick with a truth that won't wound her. [say]"He's good company,"[/say] she says with an unflinching gaze to Caly, an easy smile fitting in. [say]"I think that's thanks to you and Nova. The way he talks about you two..."[/say] Her smile grows, head tilting with the fond weight of it. [say]"You keep him grounded. We all need people in life who'll do that for us, otherwise we end up a little lost."[/say] She's no doubt all the sharper edges to him would have won out if not for the careful tumbling back and forth between his siblings that wear down the points just enough.
As for the thanks, Colt laughs a little at that, pulling off her gloves and slapping them in her lap. [say]"Yeah, any time you wanna hear me tell you life's a bitch, I'm here."[/say] Did that count as advice? Maybe some people could use the reminder. [say]"What do you say we get out of here and grab some chow in town? All this talk worked up an appetite."[/say]
RE: I wish words didn't break you inside - Calypso - 07-29-2025
Pausing when she speaks next about her brother, Caly’s gaze flits over to meet Colt’s with a softer smile to meet her easy one. He is good company, that much the young attuned can agree with tenfold. But as for the rest of it, of her and Nova keeping him grounded, she laughs softly and shakes her head, rogue blonde strands dancing around her face with the movement (and a leaf that tumbles to the ground in the process). “[say]Nah, I think you’ve got it backwards. He’s the one that keeps us grounded. Like a fuckin’ pillar. [/say]” With how straight and sharp his spine was when it came to anything that could hurt them.
And she loved him for it, so immensely that she can’t imagine what life would be like without him. “[say]Or maybe we all do in our little weird ways.[/say]” Nova and her chaos, herself and her quiet watchfulness and sunshine personality, and Vesper with his sharp edges and mysteries of the shadows.
Either way, she plucks more weeds in and hears Colt’s laugh to her thanks, snorting under her breath as she snags her whole pile to set into the bag to take away from letting it spread further and make more roots. “[say]Gods, that sounds amazing. I’m starvin’.[/say]” Already moving to collect her tools and stand, she swipes the dirt from her hands against her already dirt crusted pants and flashes a grin at Colt.
- FIN