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+---- Thread: high infidelity (/showthread.php?tid=11956)
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high infidelity - Sohalia - 08-25-2025
The waterfall was a marvel.
Starting high in the peaks above the two girls at its base, it somehow flowed both down and up, the water seemingly caught in an endless loop that sprayed the immediate area with a fine, glacial mist. It was sunset, and the dying embers of the sun sinking low over the horizon set the falls aflame; the sky above was a beautiful array of hues from the deepest purple to the brightest gold, and everything in between was just as vibrant as either of those shades.
Soh stared up at the falls, arm linked with Flora's, her mouth just slightly ajar as she took in the beauty that lay before her. In her mind's eye, she was already sketching the land surrounding them, but even in her wildest dreams, she knew she could never capture the way the water moved. A caption, then, on the map she would draw: something about how a picture, even worth a thousand words, could never do the reality of this place justice.
Nearby lay a blanket with a picnic spread - complete, of course, with a bottle of wine and two glasses - but it was nearly forgotten by the Luminary, who was completely transfixed until a light breeze blew Flora's sea salt and floral fragrance Soh's way. The scent startled her enough that she blinked, then giggled quietly to herself. [say]"I can see why someone would want to get away from the world up here,"[/say] she commented. [say]"It feels so... surreal."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 08-26-2025
The mist kisses her cheeks like sea breeze, and for once, Flora doesn’t wipe it away. The salt crusting her skin isn’t from the glacial spray alone, after all—not when her lashes are still faintly stiff from earlier tears, not when her makeup bag remains buried in the bottom of her bag, unopened for the first time in days. There’s no use painting herself up when everything keeps coming undone.
But she has held it together today. Mostly. For Soh. For the quiet comfort of this impossible waterfall and the picnic; for the promise that they’d come here together, and that it would feel like something new.
Her arm tightens gently around Sohalia’s as she hums a soft note of agreement. [say]"I know, right?"[/say] she echoes, her voice a little raw but still her own. [say]"If I had more blankets and some firewood and like... a magical hairbrush, I could absolutely live up here forever."[/say]
She nudges her chin toward a valley below them, where the outline of an old houseboat still clings stubbornly to the land, half-swallowed by wildflowers and vines. [say]"That was theirs,"[/say] she murmurs. [say]"My dads’. Before they moved back to Torchline."[/say] It was mostly just a suggestion of a house now, but if you looked at it from the right angle, you could still see the shape of it in the green.
Tilting her head, she nudges her friend again, just enough to draw her back to the present as she tugs her oversized shawl a little tighter around her shoulders. [say]"So,"[/say] she says, voice a little brighter. [say]"What else do you need for your quest? I know it has to be at night, but like...do you have to dance under starlight? Sacrifice a baguette or something?"[/say] Her smile curves tired but real. [say]"I have loads of snacks for later, either way."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 08-27-2025
Their talk, thus far today, had been surface-level, not delving into details about Flora's love life or Soh's news. It was a nice reprieve, although the Luminary couldn't help but wonder when it would all come to light. She still felt guilty that she'd inadvertently kept information from her best friend; when she looked back over her actions in past seasons, she realized that she hadn't been a very good friend to Flora, often dominating the conversation with herself and her problems rather than truly being there for the Doubletake. That was going to change, starting now.
She looked out over the valley to find the outline of a houseboat, her fingers itching for pencil and paper to capture the slow reclamation of the home. It was beautiful, but somehow the desertion of what had surely once been a peaceful place of respite filled Soh with a sort of melancholy that she couldn't shake, and she turned away from the picturesque vista and back to Flora, latching onto her friend's bright voice.
[say]"I have to expose this -"[/say] And she pulled out the beautiful silver-and-blue vest she'd created with Nova's help. [say]"- to the light of a single lantern."[/say] Setting the vest aside, Soh settled onto the picnic blanket, crossing her legs beneath her. [say]"But we have some time before nightfall. Soooo... what's going on with you?"[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 08-29-2025
Flora’s gaze drifts toward the silver-and-blue vest as Sohalia pulls it free, and despite the weight in her chest, she still manages a quiet note of appreciation. [say]"That’s gorgeous,"[/say] she murmurs, watching the fabric catch the waterfall’s reflected light. [say]"And sitting out here with just one lantern doesn’t sound too hard."[/say] Her eyes flick up toward the sky, where the first hints of twilight begin to melt through the brighter edges of sunset. [say]"I bet the stars up here are insane."[/say]
But then Soh turns the question, and Flora exhales softly, her fingers combing slowly through her curls. Her shoulders round, like the very shape of her begins to fold in on itself, and when she speaks, it’s quieter. Like she’s trying not to shake apart with the words. [say]"Things with Jack...are done,"[/say] she says finally. Her voice doesn’t crack, but it thins, drawn like silk over a blade. [say]"He—"[/say] she hesitates, then laughs once, low and pathetically fond. [say]"He covered the Ark’s mast in flowers. Like...actual magical flowers. Just to let me know he was free. For, you know. A booty call."[/say] Quickly, she adds, [say]"which is actually super sweet for him. Not just because he wanted sex but because he'd, like...display it like that, just for me."[/say]
The smile that curls at the corners of her mouth is brittle, a tired echo of what might’ve once been flirty bravado. [say]"So I went, because why not? We had sex again, and it was...gods, it was good. But then afterward...he said he wanted to be with me again."[/say] The tears come before she can stop them. Quiet. Slow. Burning.
[say]"We actually talked about what we’d need to do to make it work. I was like...99% in."[/say] She gives a soft, pathetic laugh, shoulders trembling. [say]"If he’d asked me to marry him right there, Soh, I think I would’ve said yes."[/say] No, she knew she would have.
She has to look away. The shame of it, the hurt of it—how deeply she still wanted him even after everything—is too much to hold while facing her best friend. [say]"But I told him about my feelings for Kaisel because I didn’t want to hide that. And Jack said I should go talk to him. That we’d meet again at the end of the week."[/say] Her breath hitches, and she swipes quickly at her cheeks, though the tears don’t stop. [say]"Kaisel had stowed away on the Sugartide to try and talk to me. He gave me the parchment he’d quested for, and things were...getting better. And then—"[/say] her voice trembles, [say]"—he kissed me in the market. Told me he loved me. Yelled it. In front of everyone."[/say] Her cheeks flush, hurt and overwhelmed, more tears slipping free despite her effort to contain them.
[say]"And it just hit me—"[/say] she gasps slightly, trying to keep her voice steady. [say]"Gods, I wanted so badly for it to work with Jack. I really did. But he’s never...shown up for me. Not like that. Kaisel does stupid things, reckless things, but he tries. He always tries."[/say] Quickly, her eyes lift to Sohalia, wide with pain and guilt. [say]"I don't want it to seem like I'm choosing one over the other because I'm not. But I—"[/say] Her voice breaks, truly this time. [say]"I asked Jack if he thought he could make me happy."[/say]
And it’s there, in that small question, where all her strength dissolves. Her face crumples, and her shoulders curl inward as a sob punches through her chest. [say]"He didn’t say yes,"[/say] she whispers. [say]"Didn’t even say he’d try his best. He said..he’d try harder than before."[/say] And that’s it. That’s the part that breaks her, because harder than before wasn’t enough, not anymore, but fuck she wished it was, with every fibre of her being.
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 09-04-2025
Indeed, sitting and talking by lantern light as night fell wouldn't be terribly hard for the two of them - assuming, of course, that they managed not to attract any trouble. The vest caught the light of the setting sun prettily, burnishing it in a way that made it almost gold, and Soh ran a hand lovingly over the garment. [say]"I'm super happy with how it came out. It's reversible,"[/say] she said proudly, grinning at Flora before flopping back onto her elbows to peer up at the waterfall again.
But she didn't watch the falls for long, because at her question, Flora was withdrawing - not from Soh, precisely, but from the world. Curling in upon herself like a flower deprived of sunlight for too long, cursed by the shadows plaguing it to remain withered, the Doubletake spoke with a quiet that had Soh turning to face her fully, eyes intent upon her friend's too-careful face - a face that crumpled, in the end, with tears that started so slowly that they might have been imagined, it not for the brittleness in Flora's voice that betrayed them as real.
And then Soh sat up to wrap her arm around Flora's shoulders, leaning her cheek against the crown of the queen's golden head, heart aching because she understood. She knew how hard it was to love two people, to choose one over the other - for whatever the reason. Just like she knew how hard it was to let them both go, in the end.
Gods, she hoped that wasn't the tragic ending that Flora was headed for.
And yet... for all that Flora had made her choice, it was killing her. Soh could see it, even as she clung to her best friend's trembling frame, squeezing Flora tightly to her side. It was killing her, because she'd wanted it to be Jack, and that it wasn't... well. Maybe Flora didn't have to lose them both to be living a tragedy.
[say]"I'm so sorry, Flora,"[/say] Soh murmured. [say]"I wish..."[/say] But she trailed off. What was there to wish that her friend hadn't dreamt up a thousand times over? Soh sighed. [say]"I'm just sorry."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 09-06-2025
The sob slips out before she can stop it; raw and aching, caught somewhere between her ribs and her throat. Flora tries to breathe it back in, to force the tears into obedience the way she always has, but her body doesn’t listen this time. The effort to contain it makes her chest tighten, makes the back of her throat burn like seawater swallowed wrong, and the pain of it folds her inward, leaning into Sohalia’s embrace like it’s the only thing holding her together.
She nods against her friend’s shoulder, jaw tightening with the force of her grief. [say]"It feels like I’ll never get over him,"[/say] she whispers. It’s barely sound, just a confession clinging to her breath. The worst part? She wasn't sure she wanted to.
But after a few more ragged inhales, Flora forces herself to sit up. The shawl falls askew around her arms as she wipes at her cheeks with her shoulder, trying to sweep the tears away before they can leave salt-streaks behind. It’s not like Soh hasn’t seen her cry before. But still, there’s something in her that needs to try to be composed again.
Sniffling, Flora turns toward her, eyes still glassy but mouth curled into the shadow of a smile. [say]"Sorry,"[/say] she says with a watery laugh. [say]"I swear one day we'll have a date where I don't cry over my love life."[/say] She sniffles once more, then raises her brows with quiet curiosity. [say]"You said you had news, though?"[/say] Her voice is still cracked, but there’s a flicker of hope in it now, like maybe hearing what was going on in Soh's life might help patch over the places where she’s still bleeding inside.
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 09-11-2025
Flora's sob clawed at Soh's own heart, and she swallowed a lump in her throat at the raw, aching sound even as she pulled her friend closer. She didn't even have any wise words of wisdom, or even offerings of encouragement. Either Flora would get over Jack or she wouldn't - but in the meantime, Soh could understand why she would want to try to give Kaisel a chance. Even if it didn't seem particularly fair to the younger man, who was Soh to judge? Had she not herself lived the crime of loving two people too much to make good decisions?
And she might have scrambled for something to say, even if it was only I see you, I hear you, I understand you - but then Flora was sniffling, straightening, turning the conversation back onto Soh. She wondered, briefly, if the habit was a defense mechanism, something that Flora could use any time things got too deep or too personal or too painful to distract herself from her own problems. And she wondered, too, if this was the time that she should press for more rather than allowing Flora to so resolutely leave her own struggles behind.
[say]"Oh, well, yeah -"[/say] she said, biting her lip as she wavered. In the end, though, she latched onto the flicker of hope in Flora's voice and let the Doubletake's love life go - for now. [say]"I'm not going to be Stormbreak's Heart,"[/say] she announced, her voice matter-of-fact, if a little too smooth with how nonchalant she tried to be about it. [say]"I talked with Zavien, and he's going to lead in my place. I'll still serve on his council, but..."[/say] She shrugged, glancing at Flora with something that looked a little like guilt. [say]"I just... when it came down to it, I couldn't... I wasn't in the right place to try again. Not after everything that's happened."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 09-15-2025
For a moment—just a breath—hope flutters up in Flora’s chest. It catches her off guard, light and foolish and so deeply hers, as Sohalia begins to speak. The words brighten something in her, casting light into corners that Jack’s absence has left in ruin. If Soh’s not going to lead, does that mean she might stay in Torchline...?
But then—I’ll still serve on his council—and just like that, the hope folds back in on itself. Not cruelly, just quietly. Soft and inevitable as the tide pulling back to sea. Still, Flora forces a smile as she listens, every part of her heart aching and blooming at once. Because she is happy for Soh. She is. And this is what love looks like, isn’t it? Choosing to hold space for someone else's joy, even when it leaves your arms empty.
She inhales gently, pressing it down, and reaches out to squeeze her friend’s hand. [say]"I’m really glad you put yourself first,"[/say] she says softly, her voice still thick from earlier tears, but steadier now. [say]"I know that wasn’t easy. At all, especially for you."[/say]
Her thumb brushes against Soh’s knuckles, the gesture grounding as much as it is affectionate. [say]"But honestly, maybe now…maybe it’ll be easier for you to help Stormbreak, y'know? Without all of that weight on your shoulders."[/say] A pause, and her smile turns faintly wry. [say]"You can still guide the city, but now you’ll be able to breathe while doing it."[/say] Now that every single decision and puzzle piece wasn't solely up to Soh.
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 09-26-2025
One day, perhaps, Soh would sever her ties with the region she'd called home for so long. Maybe she would realize that the people she loved most were no longer there, and that home was where the heart was - and that that might indeed be where Flora was. But for now, she remained blissfully unaware of the hope that bloomed in her friend only to be squashed, rambling briefly about her decision and ignoring, once again, the aching pit that it left in the back of her mind. It wasn't that she regretted stepping down. It was just that it felt like one more failure in a long string of them, all culminating in the endless feeling of not having been good enough.
But neither was it entirely that she'd put herself first. If anything, she rather thought she'd put the good of her people before herself - and that was what good leaders did, wasn't it? Even if it left something ashen and sour lingering in its wake? Maybe it was just that she longed to feel wanted. Which... she was, really, but not in the ways she wished for.
Soh's mind was a complicated mess, these days.
In any case, she huffed out a sound that was something like a sigh. [say]"Maybe,"[/say] she agreed, shooting a small smile towards Flora. There was a brief silence, and then: [say]"Do you ever feel like... you don't know who you are anymore? Outside of the way other people see you?"[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 10-01-2025
Flora turns her gaze toward the waterfall, considering Sohalia’s question with a care she doesn’t always show. The kind of care that makes her shoulders still and her breath slow. Eventually, she shakes her head, barely, just enough for Soh to feel it in the brush of curls against her arm. [say]"For me..."[/say] she begins, voice soft, almost hesitant, [say]"it’s the opposite, I think. Like what everyone thinks about me because of what they see is who I am."[/say] She huffs a tired laugh, not bitter, just worn. [say]"But inside? I never feel like that girl. I feel like I’m pretending to be her. Like I borrowed her skin and keep hoping no one notices the seams."[/say]
She doesn’t elaborate further, not wanting to pull the conversation back to herself, not when she sees the weight Soh’s still carrying. Instead, she shifts, shoulder pressing more firmly against Sohalia’s, warm and grounding. Her brows lift, gentle and encouraging. [say]"Is that how you feel, though?"[/say] she asks softly. [say]"Like you don’t know who you are anymore?"[/say]
Flora doesn't flood the silence with reassurances about how wonderful Soh is or how much she's accomplished, because that’s not what this is, and Flora knows sometimes, when the mirror gets too fogged to see yourself clearly, what you need isn’t someone telling you what they see. You just need someone to stay beside you, steady and immovable, while you try to find the shape of yourself again.
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 10-08-2025
The silence stretched - not uncomfortable, but patient. Soh watched the waterfall, tilting her head back to try to see the top, but as the sun had set, visibility had waned, until it looked like the falls were drifting away into nothingness. It was almost completely dark now, and Soh realized that if she was to fulfill her quest, she would need to light her one lantern soon. But not yet - not in the midst of such a deep conversation, one that she wanted to be present for. Still, that desire didn't make it any easier to put her feelings into words, and after a moment of trying, she flopped back onto the blanket with a sigh, golden hair spread about her head like a dim halo in the last dying light of the sun.
[say]"I feel like... like I'm trapped in someone else's life, and I can't figure out how to get out and find my own."[/say] She frowned up at the dark sky, eyes tracing the last lines of the waterfall that she could see before it faded into the inky purple. [say]"And then I feel guilty, because there's a lot that I should be grateful for. But..."[/say] The words stuck in her throat. It wasn't that she was ungrateful, except... she was. Nothing had turned out the way she'd planned, and she'd never given herself the option to grieve for that loss.
[say]"I just can't help feeling like I'm on autopilot. Like I'm surviving, and for a while that's been good enough, because everything had gone to shit in the world. But now things are better for everyone, and that should mean things are better for me, too, except I feel... flat."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 10-08-2025
Flora watches as Soh flops back onto the blanket, and for a moment, she doesn’t say a word. Just looks at her. With the last light of sunset catching the soft gold of her hair, fanned out like a crown on the worn fabric, Sohalia looks impossibly lovely. Not in the glamorous, done-up way she sometimes is, but in a way that feels real. Raw. Her eyes are a little too tired, her lips caught somewhere between wistfulness and weariness, but she’s still—always—kind. Generous. Good.
And Flora knows, with a certainty that doesn’t need questioning, that one day Soh will look back on this moment and shrug it off as just a rough patch. Just a season. But she also knows that while you’re in it, the ache feels permanent. Like maybe there’s no version of you left on the other side.
She shakes her head gently. [say]"Well, with me,"[/say] she says softly, [say]"you don’t have to pretend to care about the things the world thinks you should care about."[/say] Her tone isn’t defensive or pitying, just honest and open. A kind of permission, if Soh needs it.
Reaching out, she gently adjusts one of Sohalia’s golden curls where it’s tangled in the edge of the blanket. A small smile curves her lips, affectionate and faintly amused, and for a moment she just lets her hand linger, as if anchoring her friend to the moment. Then her smile tugs sideways, thoughtful. [say]"I bet giving the reins to Zavien probably leaves a bitter taste in your mouth sometimes, huh?"[/say] she says, the words quiet but not unkind. [say]"And the Koa of it all definitely didn’t help."[/say]
The last sliver of the sun slips below the horizon, and as the sky turns indigo and star-pricked above them, Flora glances back with a sudden spark in her eyes. [say]"What if,"[/say] she says slowly, [say]"we go see one of the gods, and ask for something ridiculous. Like, a really silly quest. Nothing to do with the Family or trauma or the fate of the world on the line. Just something stupid and magical to get us out of our own heads for a while."[/say] Her brows bounce, and she grins. [say]"We could quest for a magic carpet, or a comb that always makes your hair perfectly curled, or mascara that really is waterproof."[/say]
RE: high infidelity - Sohalia - 10-09-2025
Kind. Generous. Good. All of these were things that Soh clung to, keeping the words close to her chest like layers of armor to protect her fragile heart. But deep down, she had to wonder if she was truly any of those things. After all, in her relatively short life, she'd hurt people. She'd made mistakes. She'd been selfish, and stupid, and all manner of other things that seemed to point to the contrary. What she strove to be and what she actually was... would they ever align as they once had, all those moons ago when she'd left the Hollowed Grounds for a new life beyond the confines of her youth?
She reached for Flora - for a hand, or her arm, or even her knee, whatever part of her friend she could find - and squeezed a gentle thank you. [say]"... yeah. Sometimes it really sucks."[/say] Because, one day, she knew she'd look back on her decision and regret that there was more she could have done. More she should have done. But at least she could be reassured by the fact that stepping down had been her decision.
Koa, on the other hand... well. His silence, as concerning as it was, was telling, wasn't it?
Soh scrubbed her hands over her face, pressing the heels against her eyes for a moment before forcing herself to reach for the lantern she'd brought. And as Flora suggested the ridiculous - something that Soh would always love her for - the Luminary struck a match to light the lantern, placing it and the vest aside. [say]"Ooooh, what about a magic mirror that always tells us how pretty we are?"[/say] she said, laughing a little, her mood brightening with the sudden shift. [say]"Or, oh, what about something for the house that requires someone to answer a riddle to, like... get into the bathroom cabinet?"[/say] Absurd ideas, certainly, but they brought some life back to Soh's eyes all the same.
RE: high infidelity - Flora - 10-10-2025
Flora sighs softly, her eyes still on Soh as the lantern’s glow begins to warm the edges of her features. [SAY]"It’s okay to feel that way,"[/say] she says gently. [say]"Especially with me. Even if it was the right thing to do, you’re allowed to be bitter. To second-guess it. Sometimes that’s just...part of doing the hard stuff."[/say] Her voice carries no judgment, only understanding. After all, they were both walking away from things that once felt like homes. And maybe that ache would always linger in some shape or another.
She smiles, watching as Soh scrubs her hands over her face, so clearly exhausted by the Koa of it all that Flora nearly laughs, only managing to suppress it out of sheer sympathy. Gods, they both carried scars from trying to love that man, didn’t they?
But when Soh strikes the match and the lantern flickers to life, Flora tips her head back and cackles at her friend’s suggestion. [say]"Yes,"[/say] she gasps. [say]"Oh my gods, yes. A mirror that always tells us we’re stunning. Like, emotionally supportive magic. Not just ‘you look good,’ but like, ‘you are the hottest person in this room and also a glowing beacon of personal growth.’ "[/say]
She waves a hand dramatically, already off and running. [say]"Or! Bobby pins that change our hair colour based on mood. Super high heels that never give blisters. Lip gloss that your hair never sticks to."[/say] Her grin is wild now, chasing the silliness with a kind of desperate joy. [say]"And a closet that politely refuses to let you wear anything if it knows you’ll regret it later."[/say]
With a glance at the lantern, its soft flame now dancing steadily beside the vest, Flora nods firmly. [say]"It’s decided. As soon as your quest is done, we’re getting a silly one and avoiding actual responsibility for a while."[/say]