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+---- Thread: Shoot The Messenger (/showthread.php?tid=1665)
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Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-22-2019
He did not want to do this.
He did not want to do this.
Sam knew he had to, though, and that was the worst part of it. If he didn't tell Remi what he knew, he'd regret it for the rest of his life; and if Remi found out...well. He likely was never going to talk to Sam again anyway. The whole way to the guild Sam rubbed his mouth anxiously, nearly turned around five times, had to bite back tears, desperately hoped Remi wouldn't be there when he knocked.
He had to knock.
Staring at the door, Sam wondered how it was he'd gotten here. Once, he'd thought he'd been saved from his old life by Remi. Then, he thought he'd been saved from the disaster he'd made of that by the Voice. Now...he didn't know where he was. Perhaps it was time to stop trying, after this last good deed.
Screwing his eyes tight shut (you have to), he raised his hand and knocked.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-22-2019
It was late but it wasn't as though the alchemist had been keeping normal hours, what with a toddler and a dying husband. Having been seated by the fire studying some of his notes on the blight, Remi flinched slightly as he heard the timid knock at the door. Frowning to himself as he glanced towards one of the large windows to gauge the time—late, but the knock was too gentle to rouse alarm—Remi nonetheless judged it was likely for Ronin. Some king business, probably. Could it wait until morning? Undoubtedly. But apparently the crown hadn't come with a do not disturb sign, the pair of newlyweds had well learned.
Rising and moving silently towards the door with a blanket wrapped around his bare shoulders in place of a shirt, Remi opened it appearing sleepy and entirely boyish.
[say]"Sam?"[/say] He said, blinking dazedly into the darkness. Quickly he fished into his pocket to find the stone that he carried with him, one that Sam had the mate to. The light was a pale green still though, which made the bookmaker's appearance at his door in the middle of the night all the stranger. [say]"Is everything alright? Come in."[/say] He murmured, hiding a yawn behind a blanketed-arm as he stepped aside.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-22-2019
Remi opened the door (much to Sam's despair) and looked for once not entirely lost and dismayed; he was sleepy and almost, for a moment, Sam could pretend he was the old Remi, the one he wrote about in his diaries that told jokes and made him golden feathers.
Though he'd messed that up, hadn't he? Just like he was about to again.
[say]"I hope...I hope I didn't wake you up. But I have something to tell you. It's about The Voice, and the blight. I.."[/say] He looked around himself at the street. Did he want to go inside? Was he really scared Remi would hurt him...? After the claw marks had been left in his door, perhaps a little, but blurting out what he had to say in the middle of the street seemed more dangerous.
[say]"Can I come in...? B-but. Before I do...I.."[/say] Suddenly, unwillingly, he gave out a sobbing gasp, and quickly drew it back in, looking ashamed of himself. It wasn't his moment to cry. [say]"Can you promise me you won't...you won't like what I'm going to say, but please don't...p-punish me for it."[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-22-2019
[say]"Mmm, no. I was just.."[/say] But the words fell away entirely as Sam mentioned the Voice and the blight. As if to ward off a chill that Remi felt in his bones rather than against his skin, he pulled the blanket ever tighter around his shoulders as he tugged in a breath.
Blinking in surprise at Sam's reaction, Remi frowned and almost moved to step forward. Almost, at least until Sam all but recoiled away from him. What followed was probably one of the most hurtful things the bookmaker had ever said, but for very, very different reasons.
Feeling perhaps as low as he ever had, it was Remi's turn to bite back on a sob as he regarded Sam with a look of horror and surprise, and then a slow and grotesquely sad understanding. [say]"I.."[/say] He tried to say, feeling his fingers all but go numb, nearly dropping the blanket from around himself. [say]"Never."[/say] Remi said in a strangled and small voice, his eyes on the floor, far too ashamed to meet the bookmaker's.
Stepping back entirely now to give Sam as wide a berth as he might want, Remi swallowed hard. [say]"I can...be a raccoon while you speak, if you like...or...stand..over here."[/say] He offered in that same low and ruined tone.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-23-2019
Remi seemed surprised, hurt at Sam's concern; instead of feeling guilty (though that would certainly come later) Sam felt relieved, to know that the man did not harbour violent, angry intent towards him. After the aggressive talk at his door, and his natural inclination to assume everyone hated him to the fullest extent...Sam had already pictured the many ways Remi could harm him.
[say]"You don't...have to do that. I just."[/say] Stepping in and closing the door behind him, Sam sighed and hugged himself, sliding down it until he was sat on the floor. [say]"I spoke to The Voice, in a dream, last night. She...told me about The Blight."[/say] He turned to look at Remi, but seeing his eyes was too much for what he was about to say.
[say]"...It...oh, Remi. You were right. It was me--well. The Voice, but she used me, and I didn't know--"[/say] His hands came up and grasped at his hair, tightly pulling it. [say]"If I had known I would never have set foot in the woods, I swear, I had no idea and I was so sure it wasn't her and--"[/say] His words melted away into a heavy, tear-logged gasp and Sam buried his face in his hands, not daring to look at his friend.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-23-2019
Remi watched as Sam closed the door, sinking down to the floor. The alchemist knew his friend(?) well enough now to know that such acts weren't...entirely uncommon. Sam was fairly prone to displays that indicated his state of mind—wrapping his arms about himself, drawing his knees tightly to his chest, fidgeting constantly.
As the ascended spoke, the alchemist held his breath. The only sound was the whispered fall of the blanket from around his shoulders as it tumbled to the ground. There was no anger from Remi as Sam thought that there might be. Instead the alchemist moved immediately but calmly before the bookmaker. Bending his knees and reaching out, Remi would try and softly cover Sam's hands with his own, to stop the man from pulling further at his hair.
[say]"Hey, no. Shhh."[/say] The alchemist hummed softly. Confirmation of what he thought to be true was one thing, but it didn't change much. Ronin was still dying after all. Besides, not one part of Remi thought that Sam had done any of this intentionally. [say]"You did not know."[/say] He added in a low whisper. Should Sam look up, the alchemist would reach forward with fingertips turned to feathers to brush away any tears which had materialized.
[say]"Did she say anything else?"[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-23-2019
As hands covered his own Sam flinched, so nervous of any touch, expecting it to be a punch; but then slowly he lifted his head and saw that Remi was not getting ready to fight, but was instead gentle. His hands lowered down, letting go of his hair which stood out in crinkled clumps from his head.
Remi was..comforting him? He shook his head. [say]"N-no, Remi I don't...think you understand. I spread the Blight. It's my fault that Ronin is--"[/say] Not daring to say the words he exhaled heavily and looked down. Remi couldn't just accept this. The guilt would almost be worse than the pain.
[say]"Um..she..she just said..that it was to do with the portals. That it would help us explore, that it was going to be worth it. I..I want to believe her, but what can be worth..."[/say] He gestured in front of himself meaninglessly. [say]"All of this?"[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-23-2019
Smoothing down the ruffled copper peaks on Sam's head, Remi offered the ascended a sympathetic smile. Perhaps he should have become a raccoon, it seemed the bookmaker could use a good cuddle about now. As a man though, and with the history between them, the light touches with his hands were all Remi trusted himself to offer.
[say]"It isn't."[/say] Remi interrupted softly, taking one of Sam's hands in his and creating a feather inside of it. [say]"Ronin is blighted because Safrin was. Safrin was infected when she went into the Spire."[/say] He explained a low but calm tone, as if speaking to a wounded animal.
Portals? Gods, not that again. They could walk from the Grounds to the Greatwood. Were they all so lazy that this was worth it?
Shaking his head slightly and of course not knowing the actual ramifications of what the Voice was doing, Remi squeeze Sam's hands.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-23-2019
Sam stared as his hair was smoothed down and Remi told him softly that it was Safrin who had given Ronin the Blight. Gods could be...Blighted...? He frowned, trying to remember if Amalia had told him about that. She probably had, but he had been so angry, so defensive then, he hadn't listened to much of what she had to say.
[say]"...Well..m-maybe I didn't..for Ronin, and I'm glad for that but.."[/say] He slowly took his arms away from himself and stretched out his legs, letting go of some tension but still with a face of despair. [say]"There are other sick ones. Jigano...what if I was the cause of that? What if...you get sick?"[/say] It struck him that he could be spreading the Blight to Remi right at the moment (was that how it worked? Was proximity to him dangerous?) and he shuffled a little away.
[say]"I don't know what to do, or who is right, or who to trust. And..and I shouldn't be telling you, because you have so much to be thinking of. I'm sorry."[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-23-2019
With a sigh, Remi let Sam go and instead moved to sit next to him with his back against the door. Not so close that the alchemist could feel the body heat coming off of the ascended (had he any), but not so far as to suggest that Remi was upset.
[say]"Jigano is sick?"[/say] Remi murmured, glancing across at Sam and pulling his lower lip between his teeth thoughtfully. With a delayed shrug, the alchemist merely sighed. [say]"I think if I was going to get the blight I would have by now, living with Ronin and all that. We made sure Aoife was safe from it.."[/say] He added, leaning his head back against the door and regarding the ceiling for a silent moment.
Letting his head loll to the side, Remi looked at Sam for a moment. The ascended was bathed in warm coppery light, despite the fact the room was moonlit at best. [say]"Honestly? I do not think it matters. There can be time for blame later."[/say] He said lightly. [say]"Do not be sorry. Thank you for telling me. I would rather know. It is one less thing that is a mystery."[/say] Nudging Sam's shoulder slightly, Remi offered him a smile before directing his gaze back towards the ground.
[say]"Do the others know? The other ascended, I mean?"[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-23-2019
[say]"Yes. I saw him recently...he is...surviving, not completely bedridden or anything, but...I can tell he is not well."[/say] Sam fiddled with his fingers, admitting Jigano had not looked good making him uncomfortable. He had always thought of his friend as a strong source of wisdom, not as a person that would get sick.
He supposed Remi was right about being around Ronin. [say]"How did you make sure Aoife was safe? Can you..do that for anyone else?"[/say] He asked, though he was sure if Remi had found some kind of cure he would have shared it by now.
New tears threatened to fall at even more kind words from Remi, but Sam managed to keep them at bay. [say]"Thank you. I...was so scared, that you'd see me as evil, for this. ...I suspect some people still will, if they find out."[/say] And they likely would, with all the research being done. [say]"I don't know if anyone else knows. If anyone does, it will be Wessex. Bastien does not seem interested in talking too much to the Voice, and Rexanna is only new. Lucas...maybe he knows. I don't know. He is..hard for me to understand."[/say]
Pressing his lips together he looked out into the guildhall. [say]"Is Ronin here now...? How..is he?"[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-23-2019
Pressing at one of his brows with a finger, Remi closed his eyes and tugged in a breath. Silently he wondered if the blight was to blame for Jigano's recent actions, or his departure from his usual places. Much as the alchemist did indeed feel a pang of worry for the bard, his sympathies could only extend so far. Besides, whatever help he offered Ronin would help all those currently suffering from the blight.
[say]"After we killed that large gourd,"[/say] Remi explained. [say]"It was what I asked Arduinna for. She gave me a charm that would protect someone not-infected by the blight."[/say] The implication being she could do nothing for Ronin.
[say]"Hey."[/say] The alchemist urged gently. [say]"You did not know."[/say] He reiterated. [say]"Wessex?"[/say] Remi repeated, his voice tightening somewhat. The queen knew? For how long? Not privy to the conversations held behind closed crown-only doors, Remi merely bit back his assumptions and filed the information away to relay to Ronin.
[say]"Mmm, upstairs. Asleep."[/say] Hopefully anyways. The question made Remi's smile faulter, tightening somewhat before sliding away entirely. [say]"Not well, Sam. It is...much worse than before."[/say] The alchemist admitted sadly. The swings in temperament, the smell, the shaking. The loss of appetite, the anger, the black tears and bile.
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Samuel - 08-24-2019
[say]"Oh, yes. I remember."[/say] Sam nodded, though he had to hold back a sigh at finding out it was not something they could do for anyone else.
Remi repeated again that he had done nothing wrong and Sam tried to smile like he agreed, but truthfully he would be feeling guilty forever; he had a tendancy to believe people when they were mad said what they meant (for who would actually want to be nice and patient with him? Especially now?) and Remi had nearly ripped down his door.
[say]"Oh, I don't know that Wessex knows anything. She just...she always seems to know what she's doing. So I thought if any other Ascended do, she would."[/say] He explained. He certainly wouldn't be surprised if Wessex did know, but hadn't told him so he would continue to spread it according to the Voice's plan.
Reaching out to put a hand on Remi's knee (a daring move, given how scared he was to step wrong here and break the peace that had come so unexpectedly) he gave a quiet, stuttering offer. [say]"I...do-don't know how you would feel, about this. But I have to suggest it just in case you wan..want to try it, and it could help him. Um...do you think...I don't know, with him being so close to Safrin, but...do you think Ronin could...Ascend? I know the Voice caused this, and it seems...silly, but the Ascended don't seem to get the Blight. So maybe it would...cure him? I...It's probably stupid."[/say]
RE: Shoot The Messenger - Remi - 08-24-2019
[say]"I will not...accuse her of anything on your behalf."[/say] Remi said slowly, not wanting Sam to think that the alchemist would throw him under the bus before their queen. Running the heel of his hand against his eyes, Remi did what he could to not pound his fist into the floor. It would hurt yes, but it would feel good at that moment too. But with Ronin asleep (hopefully) upstairs and with Sam already wary of some of Remi's more physical reactions to what was happening around him, he merely imagined it in his mind, and sighed.
As one of Sam's hands found its way onto Remi's knee, the alchemist looked up with the beginnings of an unsure frown. With all that had happened between them, it was so easy to read into what were simple gestures, so easy to think he felt something that wasn't there. [say]"Ah—"[/say] He started to say, but his lips stopped where they were, nearly open, as he heard Sam's suggestion.
Swallowing hard, now thinking more of the words his friend had said than the strange feeling of his hand on Remi's knee, the alchemist found himself shaking his head. [say]"I...well. With what he is now, I am not even sure he could ascend. The Voice does not like him much from what I have heard."[/say] Calling him a not-man, and such.