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+---- Thread: we all poisoned you (/showthread.php?tid=1935)
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we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-10-2019
It was done - apparently. It was over. Finished. They were cured, or they were getting there at least. So why did Ronin feel so heavy, so terrible?
His boots crunched beneath the snow and icy twigs of the glade, the hunter’s breath clouding the air before him as he approached the stone circle. With him he carried his offering for Safrin - a rolled parchment, containing a sketch that had been painstaking given that each star had been copied exactly as it should have been in the sky the night he’d drawn it.
This, alongside a few candles which flickered feebly in the Deepfrost wind, lending light to the otherwise pitch darkness, would have to do. Ronin settled on his knees before the shrine, his head bowed, his eyes closed. [say]”Safrin,”[/say] he said quietly. [say]”Safrin, there is... my heart is heavy. May I speak with you?”[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-11-2019
[say]"You know you never have to kneel to me, Ronin."[/say]
She is there like a long-remembered embrace. Starlight suffuses her movements as she appears like a whisper. One hand lowers to tangle into Ronin's thick dark mop of hair as she smiles at the star-map offering. [say]"I see your hands aren't shaking anymore."[/say] She notes with a nod towards the precise markings on the parchment.
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-11-2019
The warmth of her presence was like sitting by a fire after years in the freezing cold; Ronin swore that some part of him thawed and melted at the sound of her voice. [say]”I choose to all the same,”[/say] he murmured in a voice surprisingly heavy with emotion. He closed his eyes to relish the feel of her fingers in his hair, the hunter drawing in a stuttered breath and finally raising his gaze to behold his goddess. Safrin was radiant and ethereal, Ronin caught up in her beauty in a way he could hardly find the words to describe.
[say]”No, they’re not... I feel great,”[/say] he said somewhat lamely, belatedly realising that this was as a result of Safrin’s return to health. [say]”Well. I feel great physically. But I... there are some things that happened... things that I did when I was blighted. I don’t know how to come to terms with it.”[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-11-2019
He's as charming as always, even broken down as he is. Instead of pulling him up to his feet, she sits beside him. The snow disappears into a galaxy of starlight, relaxing his weary bones and giving strength back into his tired muscles. As always her physical proportions are malleable. Though she will always appear slender and spritely, she isn't a waif next to him, but a comforting figure easily able to endure his burdens.
Pressing her shoulder against his, the goddess simply nods for him to continue. [say]"Go on then. Blighted as I was I didn't see the way I usually do. Besides, I'd rather hear this in your own words."[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-12-2019
Her presence beside him was soothing enough, let alone the addition of the snow disappearing; warmth suffused Ronin’s skin, and he was aglow with his own starlight soon enough. It didn’t last, though - wonderful as it was to be around Safrin after so long, after all that had happened... it didn’t change what had happened. Leaning his shoulder against her in return, he rubbed at his forehead and sighed.
[say]”It was... I just lost myself,”[/say] he said quietly, wondering how he was supposed to phrase it. Honestly, he had expected her to simply know. [say]”I cursed you, and all the gods. I attacked my loved ones and abandoned the people I cared about. And I...”[/say] He took a slow, careful breath and pressed his eyes shut.
[say]”I killed someone, Safrin,”[/say] Ronin admitted. [say]”A man took my daughter. Held her captive, hurt her, threatened to do worse to her. And so I killed him to get her back.”[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-12-2019
What Safrin had seen was the death of life. She'd extinguish stars and crushed planets in her wrath. Still, she could understand what Ronin was saying. To take a life for him, was not so different from her destroying a distant star cluster. Their lives would always be lived on different scales, but still, she could understand.
[say]"I can imagine what it felt like when you were blighted. But what about now?"[/say] She asks, letting her gaze linger on the parchment instead of his face, to allow him whatever time it takes to introspect within himself. And then whatever more to formulate an answer.
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-13-2019
Ronin would have liked to have said that it was like a weight off his shoulders, saying it all out loud. But the reality of it twisted low in his stomach, the hunter scowling off into the glade as Safrin spoke. [say]”Now...? Now I just feel guilt. And shame. I’m better than what happened - better than what I did to everyone.”[/say] He shook his head. [say]”But I’m afraid too. I killed someone once... What if that means I would do it again? If Aoife is taken again, or if someone else threatens the people I love...”[/say]
Amalia was the Shield of Safrin - the true guardian of life. Ronin? He was just a star plucked out of the sky. A mistake who couldn’t make up his mind about what he wanted to be and to do.
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-13-2019
[say]"Are you?"[/say] Safrin challenges, softly, but her gaze is suddenly sharp. [say]"None of us were better than what we were when blighted. Not you, not me."[/say] Haughtiness is not something she has come to expect from her Fallen Star, heavy as his conscience might be.
[say]"Would you?"[/say] She asks, turning to face him, long lashes blinking out a slow rhythm. [say]"We have had a conversation like this once before. About who you are, what obligations you might have. Do you remember?"[/say] So much had happened since then, perhaps he needed a reminder. [say]'And if you are the sort to kill those who would threaten your family, what of it?"[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-13-2019
Ronin couldn’t help but wince under the weight of his goddess’s gaze, Ronin frowning at the ground and ruffling impatient fingers through his hair. [say]”You’re right, of course. I suppose I just expected more of myself...”[/say] Sighing a cloud of white into the cold air, he let his hands drop to his lap. Something dark and complicated stole over his expression at Safrin’s continued probing, and Ronin gave a rough shrug.
[say]”I would. I would kill someone if they threatened my family, or the things I care about dearly.”[/say] He nodded. [say]”And we have talked about it. I seem to have learned very little from that last conversation. I’m sorry.”[/say] Perhaps coming to Safrin had not been such a good idea. He had walked away from their previous conversation vowing to take control of his own destiny. And yet, here he was again.
[say]”Amalia is the Shield of Safrin - she wouldn’t tolerate killing. Why would you?”[/say] Honest and sad and confused, Ronin felt more child than fallen star before her.
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-13-2019
[say]"Now you know for next time."[/say] The goddess chuckled darkly; if there were a next time, they'd all be damned.
[say]"Well, there you are."[/say] She replied easily enough, shrugging against him. His query however drew a silvery bought of laughter as she turned towards him, pushing deft fingers through his dark hair. [say]"I am to mirror Amalia, is that it?"[/say] Safrin mused. It wasn't what he was saying surely, but it was the implication. Shield was a title given to the baker by Vi. While it was for Amalia to live up to the name—or not—the same was not true of the goddess.
[say]"All animals big or smell, defend themselves in one way or another. Lions kill those who attack their pride. Even wasps and the like swarm those who bother their hives. But only you humans worry about it, and perhaps rightfully so. That is your choice. But my dear one, it seems you've already made yours."[/say] She said, almost sweetly as she gazed at him. [say]"You would kill those who threaten your family. What of it?"[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-14-2019
Safrin’s laughter - a pure and gorgeous thing that Ronin could barely remember - was enough to have him glancing up from his reverie, the surprise on his face melting into a smile that he’d caught from the sound of her delight. [say]”I mean... I suppose that I assumed...[/say] He laughed as well, quietly and almost disbelievingly. He assumed that Safrin would be much more like Amalia than she would ever be like him.
It sounded very foolish now that he was saying it and thinking about it in context, the guildmaster hanging on his goddess’s words. He had already made his choice, it was true. He had made that choice long ago in the Storm Guard. When had things gotten so muddled? [say]”What of it?”[/say] he agreed at last, leaning his shoulder against Safrin. [say]”I have missed you.”[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-14-2019
In fact Safrin was like none of them. That's precisely what made her unique and more than by mere definition. She was as enigmatic as the stars and galaxies she presided over, and just as complex as the life she helped herald into existence.
With a laugh, the goddess offered her star a loving wink. Death was a part of life, and the protection of those well-loved was as ingrained into the humans as was their need to breathe. [say]"And I you. My time was not easy being blighted. I am used to the darkness—I do some of my best work in the cold vacuum of space—but the blight? That was something I would not experience again any time soon."[/say] If ever, Vi willing.
RE: we all poisoned you - Ronin - 10-15-2019
The cold vacuum of space - it was something so utterly beyond Ronin that his mind struggled to wrap around it, though he did nod to his goddess in acceptance. Just because he could not comprehend it did not make it any less true, after all. A shudder ran through him at the mere prospect of being blighted a second time, his hands clenching into fists. Whilst unlikely, could anything truly be considered impossible? Especially with the continued existence of the new gods.
[say]”Safrin.”[/say] Ronin’s tone was quiet, as though he felt strange even thinking about what he would say. [say]”Since coming to Caido, I have made a trade as someone who hunts monsters, the things that tormented the Hollowed Grounds the most. In the eyes of the gods... is the Voice considered a monster?”[/say]
RE: we all poisoned you - Safrin - 10-15-2019
[say]"Not a leading question at all."[/say] She chuckles in response, flashing the guildmaster a knowing smile before regarding the stars overhead.
[say]"What she is, is an annoyance. She holds the souls of all of her ascended somewhere. In the Spire, probably, given it is the one place we cannot see or go. Ludo has tried to barter with her for their return, though it was only successful once, and only because the Voice wanted something from it in return. To kill her would be to kill all those she has created, to damn their souls to an eternity of nothingness away from Mort."[/say]
With a slippery and silvery smile, the goddess looked at Ronin briefly before shrugging casually.
[say]"Sometimes it is better to lock up a monster for a time, rather than killing it outright, wouldn't you say?"[/say]