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+---- Thread: seconds, and first steps. (/showthread.php?tid=2981)
seconds, and first steps. - Safrin - 03-21-2020
Are you ready my darling?
And she was. Time would have existed differently for Seren, held up in the sky above the mortal world as she had been. Encased in star-fire and frost, her mind and body growing while the world below toiled and drabbled on. No child of Safrin would be born crying and screaming into existence, no no. They were breathed into light the same way galaxies and stars were, placed somewhere to set, and grow, and learn.
So it had been, but the time had come.
[say]Ronin...[/say] Her voice would shiver through his bones, awaking him in his wagon but leaving his partner in a sleep far too deep to be disturbed. [say]Come along, sugar.[/say] The luminescent algae on the shoreline would light his way to the lighthouse, where the midnight smattering of stars would gleam all the brighter.
As he walked, he'd see a star fall; rather than disappearing into the night, it would continue to plummet, trailed by copper and perriwinkle hues. Down and down and down, landing neatly on the sand before the stony-steps up towards the lighthouse. There stood Safrin, glowing and opulent, dressed in a gown of white that danced about her frame like petals in water. And at her side was a small girl with sea-bright eyes and ravenous dark hair.
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Ronin - 03-21-2020
It was happening a lot lately, waking in the middle of the night with Safrin's voice in his mind. But awaken Ronin did, finding himself climbing out of bed and pulling on clothes to pad, barefoot out onto the beach. He did pause in the doorway of the wagon, gazing in to watch his husband very closely indeed, as if wondering quite how natural his deep sleep was. Either way, there was little Ronin could do to change whatever his goddess had done or decided.
The stars in their brilliance shone above, and the hunter rubbed at his eyes as he trailed along the shoreline towards the lighthouse. He saw the star fall and focused intensely upon it, checking first that Vanya was still there, twinkling above. And when she was? Ronin had no idea what to think.
Safrin shone, ethereal and gorgeous as usual, at the foot of the lighthouse steps, and he slowed as he approached her. Curiosity quickly turned into confusion, Ronin glancing between the child beside her and the goddess in her brilliance. [say]"What's going on?"[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Seren - 03-21-2020
She had been waiting for this day forever. Watching, as Mother drew her dreaming eyes away from the starstrewn skies to show her the man. Waiting, for 'soon' to come, when she would finally be allowed to meet him. Merely walking was not possible. Seren skipped out of the starlight, her bare feet light on the rocky ground. It felt different from home, but that was the whole point, wasn't it?
Expectations were soaring. But when dreams came to life and 'soon' became 'now', when the image of a man in a starstream became the real thing, tall and dark and looming, even a brave child might balk a little. And the glance he threw at her was so very short. Like he didn't know anything. Like he didn't know her.
Wide eyed, unable to tear her gaze from Ronin, the child inched closer to her mother and reached out a small hand to grab a handful of her skirts. Inching slightly behind her, to make sure she wouldn't just leave.
Already this wasn't going entirely the way Seren had pictured it.
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Safrin - 03-21-2020
[say]"Good evening, sugar. Thanks for coming."[/say] Safrin said with a saccharine smile, wisps of starlight still wafting off of her. Gazing down at Seren, the goddess smiled adoringly. Her fingers traced through the girl's dark hair, sending pulses of affection and strength. She'd not chide her openly, not tell her to stop being so shy as other mortal mothers might. No, Seren was a child of the stars and could damn well do as she pleased. At least so long as it didn't conflict with what Safrin wanted of course.
[say]"Surely I need not explain the birds and the bees to you, Dark Star."[/say] The goddess said with a silvery laugh, extending her hand towards him that she might beckon him near. Seren was not, as one might naively expect, a version of Aoife. She had not the stars in her eyes, but in her very bones.
Raising her eyes to Ronin's, her dark stare communicative in its stillness, every movement of hers seemed to say think carefully Ronin. She is a child. Tilting her chin upwards, Safrin turned to look towards Seren, radiant in her childlike innocence and whimsy.
[say]"This, my darling Ronin, is Seren. Your daughter. She's watched you since her conception from the sky, and has been waiting patiently to meet you."[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Ronin - 03-21-2020
The problem, of course, was that Ronin was already making the comparison. Because much as Seren was made and blessed by starlight, the Star had made his contributions. And he saw it in her little face, her lips, her cheeks. His daughter - his first daughter - and Seren at a distance, in the dark, could have been Aoife if she'd lived just a few more years. Already without his permission, fractals of light began to pulse out of him, uncontrolled and unsteady.
And then Safrin really plunged the knife in and confirmed her as being otherwise, other, different, not Aoife, tying him in knots with the stillness of her gaze. It spoke of caution, of danger in being anything but what she expected him to be, and his heart was beating too quickly in his chest for this, his fingers too cold, his mouth too dry.
He stepped forward stiffly, feeling the sand somehow yawning away beneath his feet, like he was about to slide off the earth. [say]"Hello, Seren,"[/say] he said softly to the girl. [say]"I wasn't expecting a visit from you."[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Seren - 03-21-2020
Mother's touch gave her both strength and courage aplenty. With moonlight fingers brushing soothingly through her hair, it was impossible not to feel braver. Seren gazed up at Safrin and smiled back, with the adoring love and unconditional trust of a child whose heart had never been broken.
Ocean eyes remained fixed on the man, on her father, while Mother spoke to him. The girl watched anxiously for signs of distress in him, all while galaxies collapsed and respawned within her small body - the feelings were too large to be caused by butterflies. Then he spoke. To her, and called her name. So softly, that it made his approach not at all alarming. The way it might have been.
Seren's grip on her mother's skirts fell away, and with a newfound daring she took a few steps towards Ronin. Not too far, still with Mother's steady presence at her back... but all her attention was on him. Clasping her arms behind the back, she wriggled back and forth, searching for the words she had practiced over and over. So carefully chosen, meticulously planned, with all the attention a (pseudo) five year old could manage.
Her breath hitched a little as she drew a deep breath. On an exhale, she got it out. All the words. [say]"Hello, daddy. It is very nice to meet you."[/say]
Almost the way she'd wanted to say them. It sounded a little... stiff.
Then she smiled, bright and happy as she gazed up at him - and up, and up - because even if her voice was a little weak and the words came out not right, she was still so very happy to actually see him. For real, this time.
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Safrin - 03-21-2020
Safrin couldn't have loved Ronin more in that moment. He could have kicked sand in her face, declared Seren not his, demanded an explanation or any number of things that might need to be said, but would have most certainly shattered the little girl's heart. A warm pulse extended from Safrin to Ronin, releasing his tension and growing his understanding as far as she could.
[say]"You'll notice of course that Seren has not aged the way one might expect."[/say] Safrin pointed out with a smile, watching with pride as their child made her way forward. [say]"But such is the way of children of the gods. She'll continue to age this way, in fits and starts, until her late teens. There, things should begin to take on a much more mortal pace."[/say]
Moving forward like a beam of moonlight incarnate, Safrin looked to Ronin. [say]"She has lived her life in the sky, amidst the stars. But I think it important for her to understand morality. To live a life here, that she might understand her place as part of all of this, not merely above it."[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Ronin - 03-21-2020
Ronin seemed to shudder a little at Safrin's warmth, cringing at her manipulations on his body and his mind. It was as minor as he could make it, however; a shiver in the cool Leafchange night, nothing more. And he did not look at his goddess, not once as she spoke, as she outlined his new reality, as she spoke about his daughter. And even that felt wrong. His daughter - his real daughter - was dead, was with Mort, and the chasm of her loss was barely beginning to heal.
And now a child spoke to him as her father, in soft polite sentences that he was sure Aoife never would have managed. [say]"It's nice to meet you too,"[/say] he said. [say]"I understand you'll be coming to live with me from now on?"[/say]
Cutting brutally through the preamble, he glanced very briefly to Safrin, blinking quickly to kick back the emotion that kept threatening to roar through. [say]"That's right, isn't it?"[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Seren - 03-21-2020
Currents of emotion carried through the air, and like most children, Seren was quick to pick up on them. The shiver that passed through her father did not go unnoticed. With Safrin's calm to put a lid on things however, it caused no alarm in her, and she merely nodded. Happily confirming his assumption that yes, that's what she had been told.
But then, her expression fell from the bright beaming into something almost solemn, and deeply serious. Which looked rather peculiar on the round-cheeked little face.
[say]"But I was supposed to ask. Is it alright? If I come to stay with you?"[/say] Again, her speech sounded a little rehearsed, but not quite as much as before. Ronin had forced her to go off script, to deviate from a carefully construed vision of how this whole encounter would play out.
And it made her a little nervous, because now Seren had opened up for rejection. The chance for him to say no, she wasn't welcome. The fidgeting stopped, and she grew very still as she waited, tense to hear the answer.
It would determine the start of everything.
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Safrin - 03-22-2020
[say]Decisions are important, my love.[/say] Safrin spoke directly into Ronin's mind. [say]Whatever you believed at the time...that it was just a dream and without consequence, is perhaps a lesson worth learning.[/say]
Watching the exchange between father and daughter made Safrin hum with an appreciative sound, her posture and expression revealing nothing of what she was actually communicating and feeling in that moment.
[say]Everything has consequences. Reality is only different from a dream if you can tell the difference. And you, my sweet Dark Star, will always be blind to it. So treat everything as if it were real, because she is very real. And very important to me, as are you.[/say]
Oh, Safrin can feel the fledgling animosity within her star. The wound that will fester if left untended.
[say]Seren is meant for a greatness that I cannot yet reveal. And you, sugar, were always to be her father.[/say] Vanya, Aoife, Remi aside. It was always to be Ronin who fathered her.
[say]"My apologies darling one."[/say] Safrin chuckles from behind Seren, her apology star-bright on her lips. [say]"You're right. This is your moment. I won't interfere."[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Ronin - 03-22-2020
It wasn’t alright. No part of what was happening was alright, and later Ronin might finally consider himself close to godlike, just in his ability to keep something close to calm in this moment. Safrin’s voice echoed sweetly in his mind and he wanted to reach up and claw at his head to get her out, but he kept his arms carefully at his sides. Whether he liked it or not, there was an innocent involved in all of this. Whatever he felt would simply have to wait.
[say]I never thought you would be so cruel to me.[/say] The Dark Star could only use his fledgling ability to speak through an Attuned bond, but he had no doubt that his goddess would find a way to interpret it, should she choose.
To Seren he forced a smile. [say]”I haven’t much room,”[/say] he confessed. [say]”So we will find a place in town to stay for the night.”[/say] The boxing ring was probably a good shout as a stop gap. He held out a hand for the girl. [say]”Shall we go? I imagine you must have a lot of questions.”[/say]
[say]I hate you,[/say] he thought to Safrin, and all the dark fury came with it. [say]When my task at LongNight is over, I will have nothing more to do with you.[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Seren - 03-22-2020
Undercurrents. Words exchanged, sentiments unspoken - at least to her ears - and yet Seren peeled her eyes from her father to her mother. Wide eyed, wondering. There was something very awfully tense about them, that she couldn't understand. She was finally meeting her dad, and the moment was almost as wonderful as she had pictured it... yet something was niggling at the back of her mind. Something that tasted an awful lot like guilt.
Like she shouldn't be here.
Yet Ronin held out a hand for her, said she could come, and the heart of the child swelled impossibly, filled with so much joy and elation it should be impossible for her to contain it all. She had taken all of three steps towards him, hand held out to take his, when she suddenly hesitated. Turned her head back towards Safrin, when she realized that she was about to leave Mother behind.
[say]"Mama?"[/say] she said, a little lost. Torn between them, looking from one to the other. She wanted to be with them both so much, and yet... no matter which way she went, she would have to lose one.
It was a first, for her choices to have these kinds of consequences.
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Safrin - 03-22-2020
[say]Was it not just as cruel for you to whisper sweet lies to me, to make promises you never intended to keep, all so that you might satisfy yourself for one fleeting moment? You'd deny your part in this creation of a life, hmm?[/say] Safrin asked, her smile effervescent as she gazed upon Seren.
[say]So you've made yourself a liar all to avoid the consequences of your own actions.[/say] Safrin observed smoothly. Oh, Ronin could tell himself that it had been a dream all he liked, but never before had his dreams been like that.
[say]I think not Ronin. Deny me one more time and everything in you shall turn darker than you can fathom. You're not the only one who can go back on a promise.[/say]
[say]"Now darling one, we talked about this."[/say] Safrin said, her voice rich with love as she knelt beside her child. Pressing her face against one of Seren's plump cheeks, the goddess smoothed her hair. [say]"You know I shall be with you always, just a wish on a star away at all times."[/say]
RE: seconds, and first steps. - Ronin - 03-22-2020
Ronin could taste copper, and had to make sure he hadn't bitten his tongue or the inside of his cheek as he heard Safrin out. Her accusations and threats slid insidiously into his mind, and his stomach churned with the need to balk against it. But of course, what was the point? The root of Ronin's upset was nothing to do with the dream-that-had-not-been, or the promises he had made or the things he had said. It was everything to do with his goddess inciting the event, clearly with the intention that Seren would be the end game.
Safrin could hand him a daughter, barely a season after he had lost one, and expect him to step up and carry on like it was nothing. She was capable of that sort of disregard for his circumstances, and he would never forget it.
He didn't respond to the lady of the stars. He might not be able to deny her without painting his own soul black, but that did not mean he had to acknowledge her more than necessary. And at the end of it all, there was a child - his child - to think about. [say]"If you change your mind, you just need to tell me, okay? I'll make sure you get back to your mother,"[/say] he said to Seren.