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+---- Thread: I'm fine with all the doubts (/showthread.php?tid=3088)
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 04-25-2020
Rexanna laughed with him and he pulled her a little closer for a moment, enjoying how carefree the moment was: compared to ten minutes before when tension had filled their childs room, now it felt like they didn't have many cares in the world. That was what marriage was, he supposed. Riding it all out together, highs and lows, no matter how quickly they came. [say]"I suppose we do that anyway, to an extent. Who could there be but me and you in this room, with all our trinkets and things? We leave some of our souls here, to be sure."[/say] He said, gesturing about the walls and surfaces covered in their possessions.
The moonlight set the tone of quiet reflection well as he listened to her worries: Vague, but he understood them deeply, himself concerned about just the same thing. [say]"...Well. I suppose what we do have is that we both want this, yes? There are plenty who become parents without wanting to. If we are both trying our best, and we both have the love for our child...I think...It will work out alright."[/say]
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 04-25-2020
He squeezes her tighter, and Rexanna hums lightly with the pressure. And when he speaks, she focuses on the spaces he gestures to, to the art on the walls and the little sewing section she’d created for herself, like a little den of items and pieces of her just as Bastien had said. And she can see him in the way the paintings covered the walls, in the little touches he’d added around the room, Pittore’s small messes that she can imagine their child one day making. It soothes her, enough that when the admission comes, she focuses on Bastien a bit more intensely.
Her green eyes scan his face, fingers still trailing through the curls of his hair, thumb rubbing lightly against bronze skin. “[say]Yes… It should, right? We’re prepared. We’ve thought about it a lot before stepping in…[/say]” She trails off before she lowers her head to his chest again and Huns thoughtfully. “[say]Do you want a boy or a girl?[/say]” She asks, a soft smile crossing her face with that.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 04-27-2020
[say]"As prepared as we can be. I'm sure there are a hundred things we have not considered."[/say] Bastien had no idea if a child from the Voice would cry, would need diapers, if their child would come to them as a baby or as a toddler already, maybe even older; it was difficult to prepare the house when they did not know who was coming.
Rexanna's question made him think and he let out a long 'hmm' as he stared at the ceiling. [say]"...I wonder if the Voice would actually bother to give a being they made a gender. After all, she's keen on taking out that which does not serve the functionality of a person and I cannot see what necessary advantage having a sex would give an Ascended child.."[/say] Not that he minded, it was more of an interesting philosophical point than anything else.
[say]"But, if the child did have a gender...I think I'd like to have a girl."[/say] Of course, he would love their baby regardless, but he'd always liked the idea of showing a young woman her way into the world and giving her all the freedoms that his old land had not given the women around him. [say]"How about you? And...have you given any further consideration to names?"[/say]
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 04-28-2020
There’s a small snort that slips from her nose when he mentions that there’s likely a hundred things they hadn’t considered. The truth to that statement ringing loud and clear in her mind, especially as she focuses on all of the possibilities she could – all of the things that might one day happen. And with it? Anxieties, and excitement too.
But her question is aired, and she listens quietly – fingers running along Bastien’s chest in idle circles as she focuses on what his response might be. It’s something she hadn’t considered, and her head tilts a small amount to rest her cheek against him as she muses it with him. “[say]Hm, that’s true.[/say]” She’d been too caught up in the idea of Halyven and Asciend, of which gender might better benefit the land. Here? Here, it didn’t matter now did it?
Regardless, he mentions he’d like a girl. And her smile brightens a small amount, head lifting to focus on him again with a small smile crossing her face. “[say]A girl would be wonderful.[/say]” A girl would mean it would be a far fetched idea from her firstborn. “[say]Names, however…[/say]” She makes a show of scrunching her face, her nose, squinting against the thought as if she’s thinking quite hard, before it breaks into something sheepish. “[say]I like Aurelia for a girl.[/say]” She smirks to it, a playful air.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 04-28-2020
[say]"Au-reee-lia."[/say] Bastien repeated, sounding out the name with his accent. It ran off the tongue nicely enough and had a good potential for nicknames. [say]"I like it. I was thinking for a boy, we could use Marcus. Though...if our child is as I said, neither...do you have any ideas for names that are unisex?"[/say] He asked, personally blanking: Italy's language and names were very binary, and the concept of a name being fit for both or any gender was only something known to him about other places.
Whatever the name was, he knew he'd be making a cute doorplate for their room with it, and would be teaching the child to paint the signature on their artworks and would be yelling it in both frustration and amusement as the years went by; perhaps he was more excited than he'd thought, all these ideas bringing a wide smile to his face.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 04-29-2020
As he repeats the name in his accent, she smiles a bit wider toward him – a beautiful ring to it. And the mention of a boy, the idea of Marcus was sweet enough as well. She could imagine the nicknames, the playful banter caused by using a baby voice with that name. But her brows furrow as she begins to think of what sort of Halyven name might better suit a child without a gender, head tilting lightly on his chest as she considers it.
“[say]Oh![/say]” She says after a few quiet moments. “[say]Okay, here’s a few.[/say]” Her fingers tap lightly against his chest, tilting her head a small amount to peer up at him. “[say]Vesper. Or… Jules… Or… Florian.[/say]” She snickers lightly against the last one – the idea of it following suit with their last name in a way. But she’s not quite done yet, a tilt of her head once more as her dark hair moves over her shoulder. “[say]Or Azrael?[/say]” Giving him plenty of options to have his input as well.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 04-30-2020
Rexanna had some suggestions, which Bastien was thankful for. He listened to them with a thoughtful expression, repeating each under his breath to see which he liked the sound of. [say]"I think...Azrael. It is beautiful, almost like an angel. It would be good to name our child like that, in the hopes they may behave well."[/say] He laughed, sure they would get their fair share of tantrums no matter what name they chose.
Sitting up and gently laying Rex on the bed next to him he stretched then turned to look at her, leaned over her just a little. All this talk of the child had been wonderful, exciting, terrifying...but he didn't want to lose sight of what he had with Rexanna already. [say]"I am sure..."[/say] He said, as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. [say]"..that they will be absolutely sick of seeing their parents be so terribly in love after a while."[/say] Laughing now he kissed her with a little more passion, closing his eyes. They may have given up the sensations of sex with their Ascensions but there was still a thrill in kissing his wife, one that he knew nothing would ever match.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 05-02-2020
“[say]Azrael it is.[/say]” She chimes to him, offering a somewhat brighter smile after he mentions it’s like an angel. And where the connotation should usually spark some anxiety within her, there’s none to be found. Not with Bastien here, not with their child on the way, not with the excitement and prospect of what they’re doing to drown out those particular anxieties.
Btu Bastien sits up a bit, and she moves when he’s no longer flat against the bed, shifting to look at him when he turns to look back at her. He leans over her then, and she peers up at him, verdant gaze bright and glimmering before he moves down, voice soft and lips gentle as they meet hers. “[say]A wonderful example, set.[/say]” She offers with a light hum, absorbed into the stronger, more passionate kiss. Her hands move up along his chest, pulling him into her as she gives into this. She couldn’t ever get used to this, the way he loved her and her so wholly in love with him. Every time it would be a surprise, a shock, that someone could treat her this way and expect nothing but herself in return.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 05-03-2020
[say]"Beautiful. You know, I once heard someone say in Venice that they would purposefully give their child the most boring name in the world, to avoid mockery."[/say] Pressing his lips together, Bastien shook his head in clear distaste. [say]"If you have selected a name that does not sound awful, simply being interesting should not be enough to bring about mockery. To give a child a dull name is practically damning it to a dull life! ...Though, I suppose not all our parents wishes come true. I have never been a gardener."[/say] He laughed in acknowledgement that he'd just ruined his own point, shrugging. It was just a silly tangent, after all, the kind Rexanna would be very used to hearing him go onto.
Far more interesting than that was Rexanna's hands on his chest though and Bastien let out a pleased hum. He had learnt in the last year that what he'd lost in physical sensation he'd gained a new kind of emotional appreciation for. Their touches were only affectionate now, only reminders of how much they loved each other: without a sexual element, what else could they be? Some days he missed the heat of desire, but others he was content to just be like this, kissing for the sake of kissing and holding her as close as he could as if he were trying to make sure she would stay by him forever.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 05-03-2020
She’d never get tired of this, not in a thousand years. The way that he could make conversation out of nothing and it have some sort of meaning – even if it seemed the rant he goes on appears to have a rather hypocritical end. She snorts lightly, nose wrinkling toward him as she leans up to press a kiss to his jaw, soft and sweet, before she gives him a considering look. “[say]I was supposed to be a seamstress for the royals.[/say]” Which, really, had been what her adoptive parents had wanted for her. It was a safe position, a safe job among the rest of them all.
Little did they know, she’d become a queen. Not only once, but twice.
So she shrugs it off, flashing a bright smile to him before he leans back down to her and her hands roam along his chest and shoulders, pulling him close not for the heat but simply for the mental closeness they shared this way. Their lips meet, and without the need for air on either parties, she has no issues with being able to prolong it however long she wanted to. Until, of course, her emotions get the best of her in her weakened state, and she pulls away to press a kiss to his cheek and to his neck. “[say]I love you, Bastien.[/say]” She says, meaning every word of it, dripping with the honesty of it like honey.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 05-04-2020
[say]"Well, you do have a fabulous sense of fashion, but I think you much better suit wearing it than making it."[/say] Rexanna had always impressed with the looks she put together for his events: as bizarre as it might sound, it was one of the things that really made him fall in love with her. Their shared love for over the top, glitzy aesthetics for the sake of it.
Humming as she pulled away from the kiss, he tilted his head so she could better kiss his neck. With a soft smile on his face he responded in kind: [say]"And I love you too, Rexanna. I...think that even with all the fear, I am probably more excited than anything else. It is just sometimes hard to see it, hm?"[/say] It was true though: beneath all of his worries and concerns thrummed a delight that would, he imagined, not stop until his dying breath.
[say]"Shall we rest for a while? I know it is bizarre as Ascended to need sleep, but...nothing sounds more appealing than dozing right now."[/say] Sitting up, he went to lift their blankets. [say]"If I only could dream nowadays. Ah well."[/say]
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 05-04-2020
“[say]Are you sure?[/say]” She replies, a playful grin spreading along her face. “[say]Wearing it or… Not wearing it.[/say]” She teases him easily, tilting her head to kiss his jaw gently, the amusement bubbling within her and replacing the anxieties of earlier — stuffing them down for later. But it dies as soon as the seriousness of her words come over, as soon as she’s searching his face to ensure he knows that what she says is true.
She takes a deep inhale that she doesn’t need, smiling softly at the answer she receives. “[say]What would it be like to expect a child and have no stress, hm?[/say]” She responds back, easily, finding it to be one of those things impossible to imagine. It was a huge shift to their lives, a huge change that would impact everything. To not be scared was something only fools were.
She kisses his neck gently, humming with him as he asks if they should rest, and she moves easily to slip under the blankets with him, tugging him over toward her to wrap her arms around tightly and press her face into his chest. “[say]We can pretend to dream, at least.[/say]” She muses, muffled into his chest.
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Bastien - 05-05-2020
[say]"Oh my dear, wearing it simply prepares the expectations for when it is off - like exquisite wrapping on a present."[/say] Bastien said with a grin, a hand stroking up Rex's side and dipping his fingers just lightly under her shirt, stroking the skin there.
With a laugh he nodded at her point. [say]"Yes, I suppose it is all a part of it. I don't know if an Ascended child will cry all night, but I am used to seeing new parents deathly tired from that...though I suppose at least we won't need the rest."[/say] At least not physically: he was sure he could get mentally tired after enough crying - hopefully they would be able to split up the work between them; he was immensely thankful they would be taking this journey together.
She easily fit into his chest and he stroked down her arm, looking up towards the ceiling. [say]"I could tell a story, I still have some you haven't heard, even if that sounds impossible."[/say]
RE: I'm fine with all the doubts - Rexanna - 05-05-2020
A brighter laugh leaves her with his announcement, a playful roll of her eyes. “[say]A present? Perhaps next time I should really wrap up.[/say]” She flashes him a wicked grin. “[say]And then… You can take your time unwrapping me.[/say]” She smirks, shifting a bit to indulge in the dulled feeling of his fingers trailing along her skin.
But she settles beneath his laughter, using it like a blanket or warmth she can wrap herself up in. “[say]It is possible to burn out, however.[/say]” She chides easily, already feeling the stress and less patience than normal spreading through her. But they had to try, didn’t they? To do their best to raise their child, to give the best life possible that they could.
She settles in his arms with all the content in the world, tilting her head up to look at him at the mention of a story, running her hands along his chest and side. “[say]I’m all ears, love.[/say]”