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+---- Thread: [Mini Event] When your heart has expired (/showthread.php?tid=3810)
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When your heart has expired - Bastien - 07-03-2020
It had been the hardest installation of his life to set up.
The studio in the Artist's Sanctuary had been transformed. At the far wall from the door there was a table adorned with gold fabrics and several of Rexanna's favourite pieces of jewellery and other objects she had held dear. The one painting of her he had been able to handle looking at was above this alter, depicting her looking sideways out towards the audience, a hand coming up to play with her hair and her mouth slightly open, as if she was about to speak. She had sat for the portrait only a couple of weeks before her death and he felt it captured the woman she had been beneath the title of Queen: his wife, human and wonderful.
A small pot sat before the painting, containing a handful of ashes he had taken from the pyre. How much of what was in there belonged to Rexanna he could not know, but with no body left to display it was the next best thing.
From the alter rolled out a carpet in an aisle along the floor, blue with golden stars and swirling designs; the kind of glamour and beauty that he and Rexanna had bonded over and found solace in: this motif was followed through on the ceiling, which bore dark blue paint and hanging golden stars and moons, some of them lanterns which dimly lit the room as the curtains were drawn shut. On either side of the curtain were chairs in rows for people to sit and by the alter there was a podium for anyone that wished to speak to take; he would have it first, once they had all gathered.
For the first time, Bastien was nervous and scared to see people arrive at his sanctuary. Would they think this was enough for her? Would they think he had failed her? Had he failed her? Nothing would be sufficient to capture the person she had been and he hoped in his grief they might permit him some tropes and reuse of old ornaments. The point of the gathering was to honour her after all, not to show off his skills. Gripping the edge of the podium he looked off to the side, where Azrael slept in a cot next to the set up peacefully and Pittore dabbed at a painting underneath, kept quiet with the promise of as much paint as the little gremlin needed. His family, bereft and broken, waited in silence for guests to arrive.
--
Mini Event for Rexanna's funeral; please write your character arriving and sitting down or coming to speak to Bastien. Once everyone's in, Bastien will speak, then everyone else will have a chance to if they want to!
RE: When your heart has expired - Oliver - 07-03-2020
Coming to a funeral wasn't something Oliver had done since his arrival into Caido. Nobody had seemingly held one. That wasn't his reason for attending, far from it. Rexanna was someone he cared about, even if the two of them hadn't spoken privately all that much. Anytime they spoke, she appeared to be a kind and wise person, truly loyal and deeply good at heart. It was a noble thing and it was tragic to find out about her passing.
Worry about Bastien filled him and preoccupied his mind, but on this day he'd try his best to hide most of the worry. He didn't want to make the man feel any worse than he already did. Losing the love of your life is a tragic thing and Oliver knew it'd be a long process for Bastien, potentially, it would never end.
He arrived at the specified time, wearing a simple outfit that was dark in color. His eyes searched around the room and he let out a soft sigh, trying to ignore the pain in his eyes. It wasn't until then that he realized that he did care a lot for Rexanna- he hadn't lost anyone yet and this was so much to handle.
It took a bit, but he made his way up to
RE: When your heart has expired - Deimos - 07-03-2020
Efforts at the pyre had about done him in emotionally, the veneer gradually beginning to slip throughout the day, struggling to repair the reserve, the nonchalance, the reticence implored over his features. Entering the Artist’s Sanctuary, where he’d last learned of her impending child, where they’d last held a meeting of the council, plans formulating that ended in her demise, nearly stifled and stilled him on the doorstep. There were a few moments where he pondered going no further; he’d done enough damage, he’d conjured enough mishaps, problems, dilemmas, and tragedies. To stand on the other side of her once-paradise and strive not to taint it with his presence.
But he also had to see it through; no avoiding the inevitable, no way to numb the pain, no way to make it all spiral away, and pretend it never happened. It was to honor her legacy, her commitments, her talents.
The Sword entered on a fortified breath, but felt it leave him when his eyes adjusted to the adornments, to the artistic renderings, all bearing her namesake, her essence. He swallowed down the length of bile trailing down his throat, spine rigid all the more as he stared at her portrait, waiting for it to diminish, haunt, and denounce him. He nodded towards Bastien and Oliver, and then retreated instinctively to a chair in the back, yearning for the familiarity of shadow, to hide, hide, hide.
RE: When your heart has expired - Kiada - 07-04-2020
She’d never expected to attend a funeral for her mother. But she’s gone to the pyre burning, had spoken to Bastien and offered a few bits of memories that she’d had from her version of her mother. And it’s been a few days, a few more moments of coming to terms with it, of getting over her sorrow just enough to place that mask on, to hide away and swallow it down deep within her where she can look at it when she’s alone.
But the funeral is here, and she arrives, her iceberg gaze going straight to Deimos at the back, heart lurching for her father figure, wanting to be supportive for him – but she also has to offer her support to Bastien, who still technically holds that ‘stepfather’ position even if she hadn’t ever taken it seriously before.
Slipping through, she makes it up to him, offering a quiet solemn nod to Oliver before her attention lands on Bastien, a hand outstretched to rest over his own. “[say]She would’ve loved this, Bastien.[/say]” She says quietly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, a small sad smile crossing her face and matching her red rimmed eyes.
There’s no doubt at all within her that Rexanna would’ve loved anything Bastien had done and continued to do, all of her prior jealousy and upset gone because of the simple realization and understanding. It wasn’t fair of her to punish him and her newfound family for transgressions from a different version of her mother. And so she makes an attempt, finding it easier each day she tries.
RE: When your heart has expired - Chulane - 07-05-2020
Funerals.
He hadn't wanted to believe it, to think that such plans and measures would be necessary. They had been safe in Halo, disaster striking before the Longnight had set in, their accommodations in the Academy providing them with a refuge, a bubble in which to hide from the cold. No monsters came out there, and he was grateful for it, after seeing what damage they wrought on the world here, after hearing of more stories from the locals of deaths, of horrors clawing at doors and windows, of families thinking they heard loved ones and opening the door to their death instead.
He had no choice but to believe it now.
He'd comforted Kia in as much as he could when they had gotten back to private quarters, but he knew there would be more to unravel, to speak about and divulge, to feel and endure. They were too similar, too used to tucking away their emotions, especially the hard ones, the sorrowful ones, the ones that made one vulnerable, and he recognised it in her as much as he did himself. Still, such a habit had its place - they were needed here, Kia more than he, he for her, and her family, as they would hopefully come to know him better, to rely on him and trust him as Kia did.
So he attended the funeral with her, holding her hand when she needed him, letting her lean against him in an embrace, a silent pillar of support in these sad and grief-stricken times. He breathed as they entered the Sanctuary, his mind appreciating its beauty on some unconscious level, his focus otherwise occupied with Kia, and Deimos, and any others he might recognise, or who might recognise him. Again, he breathed, giving a gentle squeeze of his hand to Kia before their touch was broken when she approached the man, Bastien. Chulane did not follow her, did not make to give his words to the man - he would've heard enough of them from everyone else, and Chulane was relatively unknown here, his words meaning little and less to the masses of people.
He instead made for where Deimos sat, at the back, a silent nod given to the man as he too folded himself onto the pew, to await the proceedings.
RE: When your heart has expired - Osozo - 07-06-2020
Osozo hadn’t been close with Rexanna, in any meaningful way, but there was still a touch of sorrow, still an icy fist of heaviness in their gut. Grief. And it had come so much sooner than they’d thought.
There was an obligation to arrive, to be there for Family, and it was one Osozo filled only a little reluctantly, posture stiff, and hair jet. There nothing flashy, apart from the uncomfortable green that lurked in their eyes, but it never had the chance to be seen, the Demi-god proceeding quietly to one of the seats and planting down. Their gaze wandered around the room then, careful to stay away from Bastien, away from anyone. It all looked so elegant. She must have been great, to be honoured like this.
RE: When your heart has expired - Lily - 07-06-2020
Her feelings of loss must be so negligible compared to Bastien’s, to the other Ascended, to Deimos and Kiada. Lily slips quietly into the Sanctury, dressed in some appropriate mourning clothes, feeling very much not ready for this. Why, it hadn’t been that long, had it, since she’d been away? The meeting about who was going where, her question about the door - and they’d seemed to sure that this one would be safe.
Between the severed head and this, Lily isn’t sure who is on the right side anymore. It feels very messy, and like she hasn’t nearly enough pieces to put it together. It feels… senseless. Yes, senseless. That’s it. Like losing a friend to childbirth, or the random workings of disease.
Waiting quietly for her turn to see Bastien, the redhead offers him a hug if he wants it, but feels like there’s nothing she can say that others haven’t already said. What can she offer? A song?[say] “I’m sorry, Bastien. It’s not fair, it -”[/say] pulling away and looking down at her hands, the entertainer sighs.[say] “I’ll miss her,”[/say] she says softly, looking up at the man’s face and squeezing an arm before finding a seat a couple of rows back.
RE: When your heart has expired - Aisha - 07-07-2020
Aisha hadn't known Rexanna well, but that much didn't matter. The woman had seemed very full of life, so present in spirit and mind. The girl's own inner monologue told her that she had somehow failed the queen, but those selfish ponderings were not hers to discuss today. Today she went to comfort, console, and remember. To be there for Bastien, her friends, and those who had known her personally.
She arrived bu hung back, not seeking any audience with the man except a moment of eye contact and a nod of aknowledgement. Despite being a macabre event, the room was filled with wonders. Beautiful things, ornate and colorful. She could feel the love and effort that the man had put into this, and behind it the sorrow. Her teeth ground over anxiously for a moment, frustration and sadness mixing inside her, but she pushed it away. This was not about Aisha, this was about Rexanna, Bastien, their child.
The girl chose a spot near the back, near Deimos. She glanced his way, wondering how the hellhound was handling the pain. Her attention was quickly returned to Bastien, awaiting the beginning of the funeral.
RE: When your heart has expired - Bastien - 07-08-2020
Eventually, it seemed like everyone who was likely to come had arrived. Several regular patrons of the Sanctuary arrived, as well as those who wanted to pay respects to the Queen. Bastien knew that some members of the town, no matter how loyal they may have been to the leadership (and given that it was a relatively new thing, not very), would not respect Rexanna nor her death due to her being Ascended. Those that did come he greeted with a sad smile, but didn't have the energy for many words; he had to save those.
When the time came, he walked up to the podium, gripped it on either side with trembling fingers; he found he was surprised by his own fear, not an emotion he was accustomed to. Yet stood there, looking out on the expectant faces wanting to see a husband gripped with the appropriate level of eloquent grief...it felt like he was before a jury.
[say]"Thank you all for coming here today to honour Rexanna."[/say] He began, not meeting anyone's eyes. [say]"When she first came here, she...she had come from a place where her life had been very difficult indeed, yet she still persevered; that determination and strength continued in Caido..."[/say] Bastien took a breath to steady himself that alarmingly turned into a half-sob; hoping no one had noticed he tried to refocus and continue. [say]"..She was always wanting to help and save; any of her friends could attest to her great loyalty and bravery."[/say]
He hadn't written notes, up until this point depending on his usual natural charisma on carrying the speech, but now he wished he had a guide; he worried all at once about being too impersonal, too revealing, about doing this damn thing in the first place-- [say]"I...I love her. I always will. Rexanna is the love of my life; no one else quite understood my world view and life like she did and she amplified everything in the world, made it all golden, special..she- she--"[/say] Another pause, another sinking feeling in his chest.
[say]"I don't know what I'm going to do, really. With Azrael, and everything, without her."[/say] He laughed, but it sounded more hysterical than self-deprecating as intended. [say]"She was the anchor for our family here and without her.."[/say] He looked up, shook his head and seemed to be staring at some far off point on the back wall, eyes glassy. [say]"Without her, I wonder if there is much...much point..."[/say] Suddenly, as if he had been punched, sobs beat into him and escaped through his mouth; Bastien tried to stop, to control himself, but it was too late: his tears had had a chance to fall and now he was lost, letting go of the podium and falling to crouch as if trying to hide, loud and painful cries leaving him.
Between the choking wails he attempted to apologise, the showman in him wanting to save it, but he couldn't: he was unable to even move, stuck before everyone showing his bleeding heart until someone would come to help.
RE: When your heart has expired - Kiada - 07-08-2020
The service begins, and Kiada finds her seat by Chulane and Deimos, heart heavy and tears rimming her eyes. But she keeps her gaze on Bastien, knowing through everything he says just how much he had loved her mother, how much Kiada should have realized it rather than grown bitter and upset. She should have appreciated it more, appreciated this version of her mother who had tried and tried again to prove that she wasn’t like the old version.
Now she doesn’t get that chance, to make those amends, choosing instead to listen to the memories Bastien had, trying to fill them into her own. She reaches up to wipe at her eyes, and then she begins to notice that Bastien is breaking down, she doesn’t blame him. She can’t imagine it, having to do something like this to someone you loved so deeply. He was right, her mother had been golden, had been bright. Had been strong even if she hadn’t been willing to see it then.
She moves quickly to stand, a quick glance toward Chuy and Deimos, before she’s stepping over to where Bastien stands — arms outstretched in an attempt to pull him close to her, to bring him to her side. “[say]Come… Come sit with me, Bastien.[/say]” She says softly despite the tightness to her throat, a tear slipping from her eye, tugging on him in the attempt to get him to come with her.
RE: When your heart has expired - Bastien - 07-08-2020
If no one had come to get him, Bastien was sure he would have stayed curled on the floor for hours, immobile and lost in a world entirely separate from the one where the funeral was occurring. It was only when Kiada's hand touched his back that he shook back to life, wordlessly got up with her assistance as if in a trance: to have someone else briefly in control was a blessing and he was willing to follow her instruction.
Sitting down heavily, he rested his head in his hands and became oddly still, his Ascended body meaning he didn't have to breathe: the only noise to indicate any life at all from him was the occasional extra sob or sigh.
--
Anyone else that wishes to can speak now! Bastien's just going to have a bit of a sit down >_>;;;
RE: When your heart has expired - Oliver - 07-08-2020
The words left his mouth and Oliver wasn’t surprised that Bastien had nothing to say. It was hard and all Oliver could do was take a few steps back away from him and towards the chairs. At first, he wasn’t sure where to sit until he spotted Aisha who he soon joined, taking a seat down next to her.
Things were fine, or as close to fine at a funeral, until Bastien broke down into sobs. That was enough for Oliver and he found himself lowering his head. A hand went to his face and his elbow was propped up by his leg. All he could do was try to drown out the sobs with his own racing thoughts and try his best not to cry. Bastien didn’t deserve this. Rexanna didn’t deserve this. Neither had ever done anything wrong and both only deserved nothing but happiness.
There was an invitation for others to speak with the sudden silence, but Oliver couldn’t bring himself to stand up. What was he even supposed to say?! He wasn’t close to Rexanna and he wouldn’t be able to give her the proper justice she deserved. It would be seen as awful if he stood up there like he was ultra close to the Queen.
RE: When your heart has expired - Deimos - 07-08-2020
He couldn’t look up – not at the voices surrounding the sanctuary, not at the glances thrown his way, not at the void threatening to dissolve him within the parlor. His physical existence felt tied directly into his chair and feet on the floor, head hanging, every modicum of control keeping the re-stitched seams together. Feral breaths and savage inhales ensured he remained upright, but his clenched jaw, his eyes pinpointed on stones, on anything but the procession, the people, never loosened. Rigid, taut, expressionless, hiding, hiding, hiding, and the reticence, the recherche, only worsened as Bastien began speaking. It hollowed, then echoed, reverberated, drumming against his skull; of her loyalty and bravery, of determination and strength, of raw perseverance in the face of too many trials and tribulations. Anchors, ties, and then naught but oblivion –
His fingers clenched back into his palm, fighting himself. Useless and ineffective, incapable of speaking at all, he made no point to move, frozen like the mountains they’d roamed and plotted within. Bastien apparently hit his limit as well, if the sounds and movements indicated anything; then Kiada had it in stride. And thereafter? Silence? Even he knew that couldn’t be justified – and while he couldn’t put his head back up, couldn’t look at any of them, couldn’t bear the brunt of all this damned anguish, he could strive for something beyond stunned faces and the quiet. Rexanna deserved better than that. His voice ricocheted upon the floor, deep and low, not yearning to take away from the moments at hand. [say]“Does anyone have a story to share?”[/say] How she’d made an impact? What she’d accomplished? How she’d assisted? Memories – instead of the earth-shattering abyss? They wouldn't have to rise or stand there; perhaps a collective of tales and triumphs, instances away from the sorrow.
RE: When your heart has expired - Osozo - 07-13-2020
Osozo kept their eyes averted as Bastien stood, as he broke down, and as he was moved, ever so gently away from the podium. It only started the strange, painful hollowness inside them gnawing, desperately trying to claim more space for itself, to devour more. As the call came for stories they stood, awkwardly stiff, awkwardly still, and walked up, offering Deimos a tight lipped grimace as they turned to face those assembled.
Did they have a story? Maybe not, but they had something in them that wanted to get out, that sent them striding up to the podium, after the real family, like they had suffered for the place the same as them. [say]”I... did not know Rexanna very long, or... admittedly, very well.”[/say] Osozo’s voice is deadpan, their hair an icy blue, and their eyes pits of coal. [say]”I met her briefly, in passing, and... during parties. But even then, in those brief moments, she conducted herself with grace. With kindness. With poise. She was lovely, and she was loved, and I think... she was happy.”[/say]
[say]”I will never get the chance to know her better.”[/say] They pause, words failing them for a moment, though they still couldn’t cal this feeling grief. [say]”But I am proud, and grateful, to have been able to call her sister, for even a short time.”[/say] Another pause, as Osozo tries to not let their paling eyes fall on anyone in particular, though they can’t help but glance towards Bastien, looking for something, before they step away. They bob, in a strange, half aborted bow, then stride quickly back to their seat, staring straight ahead. This is a decidedly uncomfortable feeling, and talking has not helped it, only shifted it.