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trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-11-2020
Sam was exhausted.
Not only physically sick but mentally exhausted from continually trying to push through the constant fog in his mind, he was wondering if he'd ever be able to complete anything ever again. The task the Voice had set him, to find which Ascended were sick...it felt impossible, as if each Ascended were purposefully as far from him as they could be at the moment and he would never find them.
Still half-delirious but finding he was riding a moment of clarity, Sam sat on a short wall on the hill of Haulani, looking over the beach and the rise of the moon, the light soft enough that it didn't strain his eyes. Leaning against a wall he watched the waves come in, idle thoughts of the boat he'd meant to have been on with Amun coming to mind. If he closed his eyes and let the drowsiness take over just enough he could imagine the wind on his face was from movement, water rushing past them as the horizon ahead promised adventure.
Of course, the second he opened his eyes it would be a horrible shot back to reality and the scary, bizarre illness. Determined to stay in the fantasy for a little longer, Sam held out a hand to feel the light nighttime breeze, pretending he was navigating on the ship.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-11-2020
Amun had come to check on the shrine he'd made to the Voice, to make sure the monsoons hadn't damaged it. Or had he already done that? Maybe he was coming to sail, to get away from the demons chasing him. Or had he drank from the demon already? The questions and answers suddenly seemed immaterial.
Everything seemed to blur and fade together. He wandered in a daze, the streets and markets of Haulani surprisingly bustling at night. Or maybe he'd just populated them in his mind. That would explain the familiar figures of his old crew that he waved at. They gave him strange looks and turned away, even as their voices, long forgotten, whispered in his ears.
He frowned and shook his head. Continuing to climb (why did they use that word for walking up a hill?) he saw a shock of red illuminated by the moonlight. Perking up, he headed towards the fire.
But it wasn't fire, he saw as he got close. The frown returned. [say]"Sam? Did you come to sail on the fire too?"[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-12-2020
At first, Sam was so involved in his fantasy of being on Amun's ship that when he heard the man's voice, it seemed natural: an overly-real part of it perhaps, but with the lines between reality and hallucination already so blurred, he almost didn't question it. Still, something about how loud the voice was made it jarring enough to make him open his eyes, where to his surprise he actually saw Amun before him.
Making sure that the vision before him was real, Sam leaned to stretch out his arm and touch Amun on the forehead, pushing his fingers hard to see if they would go through: they didn't, so for the moment he decided to trust this potential ghost.
[say]"Sail on the fire...that sounds nice. What does it mean?"[/say] He asked, leaning forward too much and almost falling off the wall, just managing to correct his centre of gravity with a foot on the ground at the last moment.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-12-2020
When Sam's fingers pressed on Amun's forehead he swayed backwards a bit. Then he grinned. [say]"Didn't know we were getting all touchy."[/say] Reaching out, he clasped the redhead's ankle.
Releasing it, the potter tried to lever himself up on the wall. It failed, multiple times. Eventually, he just sagged against the wall beneath the other man. Looking up, Amun frowned at Sam's words. [say]"What does what mean?"[/say]
Then the potter's eyes widened. [say]"You know where there's a sea of fire?"[/say] he breathed. His hands shot out as he tried to grasp the redhead's pants and tug him down to the potter's level. [say]"Tell me where it is. Please,"[/say] he pleaded.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-13-2020
Sam stared down at where Amun touched his ankle, wiggled it a little. [say]"I was just making sure you were real. It's hard to know, at the moment."[/say] The grasp Amun had on him proved he likely was, at least. Continuing to just watch blankly as he sunk down below him on the wall, he looked down between his legs, balancing on the wall with a surprising amount of steadiness given how glazed his eyes were.
That was, until Amun tugged him down. Falling forward over Amun, Sam for a moment must have had his knees on Amun's shoulders (and who knows what other parts of his body were pressed up close to the man's face in for seconds as he tried to wriggle around) and eventually he ended up upright almost in his lap.
Embarrassed, but too tired to move off right away after the effort of righting himself, Sam frowned and tried to think on the question instead, Amun's pleading eyes clearly marking it as an urgent one. [say]"A sea of fire...oh! Loren told me, actually."[/say] Nodding, he patted Amun's shoulder comfortingly, his hand accidentally hitting too hard. [say]"There's a land of fire he went to. Um. I don't know where. But he knows."[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-13-2020
Amun smiled at Sam. [say]"That's alright. I don't know if I'm real either."[/say] Patting the redhead's ankle, the potter sighed. [say]"How do you know if you're real or not?"[/say]
As the other man came tumbling down, Amun instinctively pulled Sam close. The potter did what he could to manage the redhead's fall, the potter uncaring what parts of their bodies came into contact.
When the other man landed in Amun's lap, he blinked. However, he made no move to shift Sam. Actually, when the redhead mentioned he knew about the sea of fire the potter clung to the other man. [say]"Loren? That prude knows where it is?"[/say] Amun spat at the mention of the Firebrand.
However, the potter sought out Sam's gaze. [say]"Tell me where it is. Please,"[/say] Amun pleaded.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-14-2020
Oddly, Amun's bizarre comfort did actually work a little on Sam; he found himself smiling too, appreciating their shared plight but not knowing how to answer the question. [say]"I...I don't think we can, can we? Maybe we should come up with a way. Maybe if we can..um....maybe if we walk into a wall and it doesn't work, we're real."[/say] With this excellent plan suggested, Sam was happy to put the matter to bed until it was time for the experiment.
He let himself be clung to, needing the comfort of touch despite the odd not-quite-warmth that constantly thrummed through his body. [say]"A prude?!"[/say] Sam said of Loren, laughing far too loud and long, going to lean his forehead on Amun's shoulder in the process. [say]"Loren is not a prude. I've seen him naked. We had sex, Amun. He has-- he has--"[/say] Still holding back giggles, Sam just about managed to mumble: [say]"A very nice penis."[/say]
Sam had no idea what to tell Amun about the Climb though, not even the name. [say]"Um...I don't...I don't think I know. You really need to find Loren. Or...or find someone with a fire. Maybe they know."[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-14-2020
Frowning, Amun reached out to the wall next to them and laid his hand on it. [say]"But what if the wall is fake? What if I've just been dreaming all this time?"[/say] He cocked his head to one side even as he tried to meet Sam's eyes.
Still holding on to the redhead, the potter nevertheless shook his head. [say]"So what if he's got a nice cock? That's not what being a prude means."[/say] He grinned, though baring his teeth was a more accurate description. [say]"A prude is someone who doesn't know fun when it bites them on the ass."[/say] Reaching up with one hand, he began to toy with the other man's hair.
[say]"Your hair is like fire,"[/say] Amun mused. However he let his hand drop at Sam's next words. [say]"You can take me to someone with fire?"[/say] The potter's arms slid around the redhead, pulling him close.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-15-2020
[say]"Hm...then...then everything is fake, so everything is real, so it doesn't matter."[/say] Sam concluded, nodding as if this was a particularly satisfying and sensible answer.
He tilted his head, not sure how Amun wasn't seeing the significance of the aesthetic delight of Loren's penis, something that seemed very relevant indeed. Regardless, having his hair petted felt nice, gave him some relief from the swimming spirals of thoughts in his head, and Sam leaned into it, resting his cheek on Amun's shoulder and staring over his chest. [say]"...Well...he isn't very fun, no, but neither am I. I'm bad at fun. I've been told that a lot, and it's probably true, but I get worried I'll do it wrong."[/say]
Own ramblings aside, he ignored the comment about his hair, the words reminding him of childhood bullying - not where he wanted his mind to go the way it was at the moment. [say]"I mean...you must know someone too, right? People have all kinds of fires. I have one, in my shop, for tea."[/say] As he said this, it was as if it just occurred to Sam; he sat up and grinned at Amun. [say]"I have one in my shop!"[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-16-2020
Smiling, Amun hugged Sam tighter at the redhead's explanation. [say]"Everything is both. I like that."[/say] The potter chuckled.
Still stroking the other man's hair, Amun grinned. [say]"It's fun. You can't be bad at it, you can just be bad at trying to do it."[/say] Shifting so that he could look into Sam's eyes, the potter raised an eyebrow. [say]"What makes you happy?"[/say] He cocked his head to one side.
Eyes widening, he clung even closer to the redhead. [say]"I have fire in my kiln."[/say] Then the potter's jaw dropped. [say]"Wait. You have a shop here. In Torchline. Close!"[/say] He tried to struggle to his feet, forgetting that the other man was basically in Amun's lap.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-16-2020
Eager for the comfort, Sam hugged Amun back, even if he wasn't entirely sure what it was they were hugging about. It was nice to touch someone, to be held, especially when he felt so oddly vulnerable and weak; he wasn't going to complain when the opportunity arose.
He wasn't sure he understood the distinction that Amun was trying to make about fun; if he was bad at trying to do it, wouldn't he still just be bad at it? Regardless, he tried his hardest to answer the question, making an almost comically loud humming noise as he thought it over. [say]"A lot of things. Books and nice men and when people listen to me. Um, and the sea. Oh! And do you want to know a secret?"[/say] Sam laughed, leaning in to whisper: [say]"I like being tied up!"[/say]
As he was unceremoniously shifted off of Amun and onto the street, Sam made a grumpy face, but got up too, equally eager to go and see his fire. [say]"Alright. Come on."[/say] Turning down the road he confidently walked forwards...until he stopped at a turning, looking both ways and running a hand through his hair. [say]"...I can't remember...which way to go."[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-16-2020
Not releasing Sam, Amun continued to hold the redhead in a half-hug half-cling. However, the potter had to shift so he could see the other man's face as the mapmaker spoke. Amun's eyes lit up at the last thing that Sam said. [say]"I know lots of knots!"[/say] the potter exclaimed.
He dropped his voice to a whisper. [say]"I used to be a sailor, you know."[/say] Chuckling, he winked. Except somehow it ended up involving both eyes, so it was more of an extended blink.
As the redhead started to lead the way, Amun reached out to grab the other man's hand. [say]"Hey, wait up!"[/say] When they stumbled to a halt, though, the potter pouted.
Scanning their surroundings, one hand over his eyes, he sighed. [say]"Well I don't know how to get to my kiln either. What are we going to do now?"[/say]
RE: trying so hard not to know - Samuel - 09-17-2020
[say]"You do?! Oh, that's exciting. But...but."[/say] Sam frowned, brows coming together as he tried to remember what the problem was with Amun tying the ropes. It came to him a moment later: [say]"But I'm not having sex with you, and maybe you didn't know, but it is...somewhat of a sexual thing. I'm sorry."[/say] He patted Amun's shoulder. He remembered that Amun used to be a sailor, but the mention of it only made him more sure that Amun simply didn't understand what it was he was talking about. He had to be an innocent sort of man.
He let his hand be taken without question, glad for the comfort in the odd, swimming state of mind he was occupying. [say]"...Hmm. Maybe...maybe if we walk in one direction, we'll eventually find it. What do you think?"[/say] Without waiting for an answer, Sam began to march down the road to the left, dragging Amun along.
RE: trying so hard not to know - Amun - 09-17-2020
Nodding, Amun grinned. [say]"I do!"[/say] At Sam's stammered response, the potter chuckled. Smirking, he winked at the redhead. [say]"Should I be offended that you're not trying to have sex with me?"[/say]
Amun squeezed the other man's hand. [say]"Don't worry. I know all the knots, even sexy knots. Especially sexy knots. Well maybe not."[/say] Considering that, the potter cocked his head to one side as his brow furrowed. [say]"I'm good at all the knots!"[/say] he declared.
Content to be dragged, he followed Sam. [say]"If we go far enough in the same direction we'll be right back where we started though."[/say] Giggling at that thought, Amun moved forward to bump the redhead's hip with his own. [say]"At least we'll have company until we find fire."[/say]