Court of the Fallen
There is no way back - Printable Version

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There is no way back - 108 - 02-01-2019

The moon is high overhead, but not much light filters down. I don't really notice though, my vision is not limited to what the cones in my eyes can and cannot do. Nor is my bare skin impacted by the fact that there is very little covering it. Indeed, when I awakened from my centuries-long slumber, most of my clothing had disintegrated. That does not matter either. I can feel my body working slightly harder to compensate and keep my shell at an appropriate temperature, but after so long having done very little, I do not mind stressing it slightly.

Standing, I stare at the Spire. Out of the guardian's radius I offer little in the way of movement that would attract its attention were it to be out anyways. I doubt it is though. I am no threat after all. Still, I am respectfully wary.

I do not feel sadness anymore, but if I did, I think I would be feeling it now. There is something emotive about the softly falling snow, white upon the black Spire, the silence, the cold, the utter lack of shadows in the moonlight.


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-01-2019

He had kept meaning to return to this place. He had questions - everyone did - but he had not been on Caido when the previous excitement around the Spire had happened. The first time he had come to study it he had found Rory digging in the snow. Since then he had been swept up in an ever-growing cascade of research in the Atheneum, research outside the Atheneum, performing at the Rathskeller, arguing with stubborn young fools, and shepherding new arrivals in out of the cold.

Gods least fortunate, he was tired. But it wasn't as though sleep brought much relief these days. He should have been snug in his den, curled up in a ball of white fluff with his nose tucked under his tail for warmth as the snow outside insulated the holt. Later, he would be. He had to at least try, didn't he? But for now, he wandered, questions haunting his thoughts and guiding his feet over the snow. The night was bright, at least, no clouds masking the moon and stars, but still snow fell gently, meeting the white of his hair and melting away to invisibility against it.

Perhaps studying the Spire at night would reveal secrets that the sun outshone in the day.

Perhaps answers would fall from the heavens alongside the snow, or the gods would appear and explain the purpose of the spire and the barrier.

Or perhaps he would stand around getting frostbite like a fool, and Isla would chide him tomorrow when he came sheepishly into the infirmary for treatment.

Unexpectedly, however, as he reached the edge of the empty snowfield surrounding the Spire he found that he wasn't the only one there. There was a... woman? ... and almost certainly an Ascended, given her lack of clothing. But Seiji and Nairi had arrived with little more, and what if this was another such lost soul? So the bard gathered himself and walked softly out across the snow, not trying to be silent, but also unwilling to break the silence of the night more than he had to as he approached.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly when he was near enough to be sure of being heard.


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-01-2019

His approach is soft, but I hear the steps regardless. It does not take the ascended's heightened senses to do this however, for the night is silent and the snow crisp.

I do not turn, though I have heard him. "In some senses of the word, yes. In other senses, no." I reply simply, eyes for only the Spire and what it holds. What it means.

In another time, another scene, I might look to him, moonlight in my eyes and snow falling softly on hair almost as pale as his own, offer a smile and a friendship might bloom. Or perhaps some untoward monsters might approach and therein we find ourselves back to back in some heroic overtures. Instead, there is only oxygen and snow and perhaps confusion between us, but I pay it no mind. Despite the near-eternity that awaits me, still I have little time for such things.


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-01-2019

Jigano blinked at the cryptic response, but it startled a chuckle from him and he tucked his cloak a little more tightly around himself. "Then perhaps I should be more specific. Are you cold? Are you lost? I can lead you to the Settlement if so. Or, if you wish to be left alone to your quiet contemplation, I can do that, too." He wouldn't like doing it, leaving someone out alone in the cold like this. But... he understood why one might seek out the silence and loneliness sometimes.

He was finding himself more and more drawn to it as well, recently. Not that it was comforting, precisely but it was... familiar. And there was a reassurance in the familiar, even when it was familiar pain, that Caido had long been lacking for him.

And there was still his original reason for coming out here, as well. He had hoped to study the Spire, and if this stranger did not want his help or company then he could distract himself with that, instead. He doubted he would learn secrets, but sometimes just a few tidbits were enough, when there was so little to work with.


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-01-2019

Laughter.

I do not laugh, or rather, I have not laughed in a very long time. Humour has this strange temporal and contextual aspect I have never seemed to manage.

"I do not feel the cold. In the sense in which you are likely asking, no, I am not lost."  

Manners too have a strange temporal and contextual quality, but I do have a basic understanding of those. I turn towards the white-haired man and I can see that his eyes are the same vibrant blue as my own. Some might make something of that, or attach some strange meaning. I do not. "Are you cold or lost or in need of leading to the Settlement?" I do not add the rest, because it is he who has interrupted me. If quiet contemplation was what he sought, surely our paths would not have crossed. So I believe anyways.


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-02-2019

Again the response seemed... strange. Not merely lacking in emotion, but lacking in any sort of human texture to which Jigano was used to. Even the androids he had interacted with in the Silvermount had seemed more alive, or at least better at mimicking life. It seemed clear, though, that his help was neither needed nor wanted. With Remi's accusations settling under his skin like quiet venom, the lorekeeper found himself more willing to withdraw rather than risk another enemy he could ill afford.

"I am not cold in the sense that you are likely asking, no," he echoed the Ascended's words, the hint of a smile without humor on his lips. "Nor am I lost, for I would not have offered to guide you to the Settlement if I didn't already know the way. My apologies for disturbing you." He gave the strange woman a courteous bow before rising and looking out across the snowfield to find a place for his own studies where he wouldn't be bothering she who had arrived first.


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-03-2019

"Humour?" I ask as he repeats bits of my own words back to me. I am not interested in the concept so much as whether or not I have correctly identified it. Humour seems unnecessary as it usually plays on ambiguities, things that are obvious, or things that are improper. Perhaps that is why I have never liked it. Perhaps that is why I have not laughed in centuries.

"You did not." I reply immediately as he apologizes for disturbing me. "If it is the Spire you have come to look at, the way the moonlight strikes it makes this vantage point optimal for viewing." I say this with no small amount of obviousness in my voice. It is why I am standing here, as opposed to anywhere else of course.


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-04-2019

Jigano blinked at the question, turning it over thoughtfully. "Not precisely," he explained, voice slow as he traced the origin of the words. "I found nothing funny in it, nor was I attempting to make fun of you. Rather, there was a certain poetry in mirroring the phrase. A philosophical ambiguity, referring to a cold other than the physical. Perhaps even a subconscious invitation for you to inquire more, if you cared to. But... your demeanor does not seem to invite conversation. I am given the sense that I am intruding on a solitude you have chosen for your own reasons. Though I am glad I didn't disturb you."

It is certainly one of the more difficult conversations the bard has tried to maintain recently. Raising a brow at the simple but confident statement, he turned his attention to the commanding black construct, a faint frown tugging at his lips. "I will be quiet, if you would prefer," he offered, without looking back to the strange woman. "But I am curious... what do you see, when you look upon it?"


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-04-2019

"Poetry." I repeat. Like humour it is a concept that I do not precisely understand, but unlike humour it is one that I think I might appreciate. However as he suggests that I have chosen my solitude, I pause and consider. Have I chosen this? It is so hard to say. "There are reasons for my solitude, but I do not believe they are of my own choosing." I say.

"I have few preferences." I say with an aim to reassure. [say]"I see a black obelisk."{/b} My response is immediate, but I pause turning towards him. Thus far he has not seemed quite so simple as the rest of them do and in that contextual light, I re-frame his question in my mind, though I am still uncertain. "Do you ask if I see something physically beyond the dimensional and structural aspects of the Spire? Or...or what poetry it brings to my mind?"


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-04-2019

Jigano tilted his head curiously at the answer, the woman - the Ascended? - speaking in partial riddles and cryptic certainties. "I suppose," he said slowly, thoughtful, "that I wondered what abstract thoughts it might inspire. Poetry, yes, or feelings... or memories, perhaps. But physically, that too," he added with a smile. "One of my friends choose the path of the Ascended, and received eyes with incredible abilities to see in ways I cannot. I guess, given your state of dress and unconcern for the temperature, that you also of the Ascended? And so I wondered if your eyes could also see something beyond my own."

Turning his attention back to the monument to isolation he hummed in thought, finding the awkward conversation growing oddly more intriguing, now that it seemed the stranger didn't mind his presence or his attempt at conversation. "May I ask what preferences you do have, then? I would try to follow them, as a courtesy."


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-04-2019

"So much wrapped up in one question." I say uncharacteristically, as rhetorical musings are typically not what I find myself vocalizing. It seems apt however, given the possible ways in which I might answer. I nod in response to the easier section of his commentary. "I am ascended. My vision is likely better than yours, but it has not been upgraded in the way you seem to imply about your friend. Even so—"

I look and I consider.

"Abstract thoughts: it is a cage, a coffin into which the never-dead have been buried, bound in their own means of escape. Black to inspire foreboding but it is not. Built by haste. A compass needle, it points towards obscenities and freedom." I pause, but not for breath. "I feel...nothing and remember little. The centuries erode what was once, leaving only what is. But I still remember our collective sorrow, the strange coldness of abandonment and the confusion of separation from them. I remember the guardian. Is it different now?"

"It is my preference not to be touched, but this can be overridden based on context and consequences."


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-04-2019

"Yes," Jigano agreed, a simple statement at the complexity so few words could encompass. He waited patiently for his companion to sort her own words, nodding acknowledgment of his correct guess, and again at hearing that Isla's eyes were, indeed, unique.

He was glad he waited as unexpected poetry emerged, stark and abrupt but not without beauty. After a moment's hesitation he pulled his grey journal from its pouch at his side and began to write down the words, evocative and somewhat contradictory as they were. There were so many questions to ask, but as he finished writing he simply nodded, a wry smile touching his lips. "I, too, have a similar preference. I hope that will not be a problem for either of us, then."

He took a deep breath, then a second, holding the cold air in his lungs for a few seconds before letting it out again in a cloud that temporarily obscured the object of their regard. "Some of your words to describe it make sense to me," he said at last. "Others do not. The guardian... they call it the 'Spire Demon,' a creature of inorganic immortality that cannot abide the touch of fire. It is said to attack any who try to approach the Spire, though I haven't seen it myself. Curious as I am about what lies within, I am neither so desperate nor so foolhardy to make that challenge alone." His wry smile returned, and this time he did flicker a blue gaze her way again. "You mentioned centuries... is that how old you are? I am a bit surprised you are not a legend in your own right, having been around so long."


RE: There is no way back - 108 - 02-04-2019

I nod, pleased. I touch when I must feed and rarely otherwise. It is so barbaric and unnecessary and yields no information or anything else of value. I am glad that he does not think we should touch. Something about the colour of our eyes and similarity in hue of our hair made me initially worried that he would want to. That he does not settles something that I am now happy to put aside.

"Call it a demon seems to suggest a religious connotation that it does not possess on its own. It has no morality, but viewing it as something evil seems to serve a purpose I suppose. But it is not. Evil that is. Merely broken and going mad." I frown at the mention of fire and nod. "Yes. Fire is harmful." I acknowledge.

I nod. "I was born in the year 108. It is now 308." He mentions that I might be a legend, and I blink at his words. "Legends account that which is remarkable. I am not deserving of remark." I say simply. "Perfection is not always interesting to those who have not achieved it. We know who and what we are. You who are not like us record little of our history." I shrug. It hardly matters.


RE: There is no way back - Jigano - 02-04-2019

"Hmm. I suppose it would seem evil to those whose greatest - and final - sin was simple curiosity. Certainly it could seem that way to those of their friends and family who recovered the remains afterwards." He hummed thoughtfully at the rest of her words, nibbling his lip delicately in the cold as he looked out upon the empty snowfield and dark monument to captivity that lay beyond. "Broken and going mad though... I had wondered, when descriptions of it made it sound near death, but never dying. I wonder if healing it would release it from its violent cycle? There are mages here who could attempt it, if they had reason to think it worth trying." As his own shoulder could more than attest!

Two hundred years old, though? The bard raised a brow, lips twitching into a lopsided smile. "I haven't been on this world long, only a season or so, but you are by far the oldest being I have yet heard of. That in itself is remarkable, not least for your knowledge of things like the Spire... guardian." He tilted his head curiously, though at her phrasing. "And why would your history not be recorded among the other kinds of humans here? I have met only a few other Ascended, but they seem fairly well blended into the community here, as accepted as those who turn into animals, or cast spells, or work with their own innate talents."