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your soul is a wall of thorns - Printable Version

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your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 05-31-2021

The Sword was in the midst of another learning curve.

It was one he’d likely known since childhood, but hadn’t been forced to revisit or endure its stern brows for some time. Not when he’d been immersed in the schism of other poor, poor choices. Or lingering amongst the clockwork bindings of cold, glacial calculations. These wounds struck and stuck harder now, because he’d tried so desperately to be more than the fool.

Instead, he’d blended straight into his rage, and paid the price. Had seen it, had expected it, had read the writing on the wall, but it didn’t mean the nuances still didn’t ache, still didn’t hurt, still didn’t maim and rip and –

He packed up portions of the front parlor and left other measures. He packed up his room into the bags he had; at the very least he’d remained Spartan in furnishings and there wasn’t much to pick after. Not like before. He tried to pack up the broken samplings of his heart and his lungs and his soul, but maybe they were too mangled now to bother with.

Then he and his companions marched out of the barracks, set to return as a soldier and nothing more when the monolith wasn’t reeling; a pat on the neck for Zuriel, intertwining his fingers in her long mane. Pretending not to use it as a crutch. Pretending he wasn’t sending a thousand apologies to her, or Belial, as they walked over to the inn. [say]“It is all right,”[/say] he whispered to either of them, to his mind, to things that lingered and shorn. [say]“We have had nothing before.”[/say] And this was more than naught. He still had a home. He still had a life. He still had goals. He still had plans. He still had ambitions.

It was just going to take some time to stoke them again.

--

Eventually, he secured a room, and left promptly thereafter. At first, the customary duties lined up in his head: wander the confines, meander through the borders, dutifully watch the world around him. And perhaps that would only really change by modest degrees. For now, Deimos hung his head and walked, Belial and Zuriel following, straight towards walls, eyes eventually only for the top of the fortress – shifting momentarily, so that he could drift and ascend into the sky briefly, before making his way back down, and sitting upon its structure, legs dangling over the side, gaze far off into distance; a sentinel again.

Impossibly stupid and human.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 05-31-2021

The night air was cold and bitter despite this being the warmest season Caido had to offer. Halo was unforgiving, carved in ice and snow and set in her ways. The moon rose high in the clear sky, full and bright and shining down all of her glory for those who chose to stay up long enough to witness her. Noah was one, tonight. He was generally not a night owl, but Frey had tasked him with keeping guard over the Citadel for one night. Whatever Frey had in store for him he did not know, but he would not fail the herald that chose to see him.

Thus, he patrolled. His lynx form moved along the top of the walls, memories of the Eirachi and the cultists trying to destroy it flashing in his mind every so often. They had come out of nowhere, silent and deadly and cold. Since then, Morgan had set up twice as many patrols and guards as they had before. She, among the others, did not want to miss anything. Noah often took to helping the guards during the day, but this was his first time on a night. He kept his eyes out over the tundra, scanning back and forth as he traversed the fortress wall.

Had Noah not been paying such close attention, he might have missed the descending man. His ears perked up as he watched Deimos settle on the wall, his companions below, and he trotted towards him. His lynx form was easiest to balance atop the heights of the wall, and its night-vision aided him as well. He was nearly silent as he approached the once-General, head cocked slightly with curiosity. [say]What brings you up here at this hour?[/say] He asked across their shared attuned bond, settling in a few arm lengths from his side. He couldn't help but notice the way the warlord's shoulders slumped, and it caused a tight ball of concern to sit in his gut.

Noah did not know what Deimos (and Hotaru) had done.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-01-2021

Night came and he was unmoved; every inch a part of the stone slab, the rock fortress, until even it decided it no longer wanted him there. The beast had watched the horizon, the skyline of light flickering down into nothing, until it varnished a deep, deep blue, and sauntered into evening’s press in its revolving pattern. Then it was Stygian and inky, and his Attuned eyes adjusted accordingly, feline measures, staring out into the void, and watching for anything. For signs. For ningos. For animals traversing, making their way across the open plains, wandering back into their lairs and homes for the evening. For something threatening, to launch and lunge at, to remember exactly what he was before he messed it all up.

He didn’t expect Noah’s rumbling voice, and had only caught the movement, the noises, momentarily. Too affixed on the world ahead and not the one beneath him, and he eased a breath, wondering when these platitudes would fall too. Diminished and destroyed by his own stupidity, the monolith could only answer with plain, nonchalant features, and a rumbling overture that said too much in one feral statement. [say]“Brooding.”[/say] And nothing more for the moment, not ready to hear expected, presumed disappointment, or the sinking of another friendship. [say]“You?”[/say]


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-15-2021

The warlord's answer fit perfectly his posture. Brooding. Slumped shoulders and keen eyes out over the horizon. The ball of concern that wound tightly in Noah's stomach ached some as it lurched around. Had he been human in this time, the frown on his face would be plain and clear. As a lynx, it was harder to understand. Drawing himself to his haunches, Noah turned some and balanced on the icy fortress wall. He looked out over the horizon, too, scanning for danger. In the distance, wolves howled and called for each other. Noah's large ears rotated, satellites atop his head to catch any and all sounds of danger.

[say]I asked Frey for help,[/say] Noah revealed, shifting his weight some from paw to paw, [say]and they tasked me with keeping watch over the Citadel for at least a night, among other tasks.[/say] The god surely had been paying attention to him, for each task seemed perfectly molded for the hunter. Though, the idea of hunting a frost giant did bring some trepidation to his heart. It was not, however, what he was doing tonight. So he pushed the thought aside, and watched out over the wall, and asked Deimos another question. [say]What is it that you are brooding about tonight?[/say] He asked the question as if this was a normal thing for Deimos to do--which part of Noah had decided it was--and there was a tinge of teasing on the corners of each word he spoke.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-15-2021

Chin and jaw secure in his hand as he leaned out over his legs; listening all the while to the howls vacantly surrounding them – half an urge to call back in return. Seek out carnage with the wolves, rather than settle into the murk and darkness surrounding him, pay homage to the other beasts in the world; so that he might say I am one of you instead of slumping over, and staring out into shadows. But the Sword was too impossibly human and mortal in this instance, existing in the wake of all his mistakes, trials, and tribulations, gazing out over an icy world that still seemed to have him.

He listened first to Noah anyway, straightening out so that he was defined and rugged, rather than listless and languid; backbone reaching for the moon and the stars, rather than shifting cosmically and comically down to earth. That the hunter had gone to Frey, after their latest discussion, proved intriguing and interesting, and his piercing, feline eyes shifted towards the lynx. [say]What did you ask?[/say] pulsed instead from the Attuned bond; safer still, then to be traipsing it along on the winds.

The trace amount of humor from the hunter resounded in Deimos’; in the corner of his mouth inciting a small smile, but it still felt hollow, a bit lifeless, in the face of everything else he’d scraped away. [say]I heard some news recently that I need to wrap my head around.[/say] He paused, gaze flicking back to the endless, stark abyss beyond. [say]Perhaps you need to hear it as well.[/say]

The rumbles continued, and they were reticent blades, stoic, furtive, layered, lacquered in the age-old, primordial fortitude he’d come to designate in nearly everything he encompassed. [say]I spoke with Safrin. She told me, when war comes, Halo will likely be in control of the Voice, based on the Warden’s current…feelings.[/say]


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-16-2021

[say]"I asked Frey to help me be a protector of my people."[/say] He glanced sideways at Deimos, knowing in his breast that the fellow attuned would understand. While Noah had not known Deimos for his whole life, he felt a kinship with him that was a rare feeling between naturals and outlanders. Glacier eyes moved back to the twilight covered tundra as the sound of the wolves in the distance calmed down.

As Deimos went on, however, Noah's blood ran as cold as the ice that helped fortify the very wall they perched on. He felt the world slow down around him, even as his heart picked up speed. [say]"It is because Morgan helped the Grounds over longnight?"[/say] Noah knew that Morgan was tolerant of the ascended living in Halo, but he had no idea of her true feelings and of her ties to them. He had believed, until now, that Morgan had gone out of the morality in her heart. To be an aid to the people of the Grounds in a time where her people were far safer. He questioned this now, as his heart beat against his chest like a warhammer.

[say]What else did Safrin tell you?[/say] Noah questioned the warlord, the urgency and panic unable to be fogged out across the bond.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-16-2021

A rugged smile appeared, albeit briefly, at Noah’s statement. Protection, shields, safeguards, champions of a world, of a people – he could comprehend it with absolute certainty. They needed more and more like the hunter, like the Sword, for when the world inexplicably came crashing down around them. He’d just never thought it would be against their own leader.

The alteration in the air changed though, as Deimos predicted – shifting into apprehension, into trepidation, into the way voids shuddered and peaked, granting access to information they’d never been aware of. Not until now; when it sunk in low upon shoulders, when it pressed in on spines, when it gained and soared into clarity. Sharp and brutal, keen and blunt. [say]No[/say], he started, jaw clenching, grateful for the Attuned bond now more than ever; a stalwart munition galvanized in his chest, striving to pierce through all the other alarms. [say]She and Neron are together.[/say] A disturbing notion, considering what he'd done to Halo in his own time of sovereignty.

And what individual wouldn’t attempt to save their loved ones? But unfortunately, the Ascended belonged to the Voice. Would Morgan turn in aid when neutrality no longer suited? Would the rest of those who didn’t pledge themselves to the goddess, of disease and monsters, be in harm’s way? How many times did they have to say the Voice wasn’t worth trusting? [say]She used me as a placeholder while she went to protect them during LongNight.[/say] So she could maintain power, knowing full well he wouldn’t want it (and here it struck him, how easily, how quietly, he could’ve just kept it and the issues could’ve disappeared; a rancorous edge touched his ribs). [say]A spirit once challenged her to make a choice, over the old or new gods. She declined to answer, and now they hate her.[/say]

He’d let that all simmer for now.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-19-2021

Noah felt the weight of Deimos' words sink down onto his shoulders as he watched the wolves cut across the tundra in the distance. Morgan and Neron. Neron and Morgan. the Halovian, sculpted from ice and carved in stone, laying in bed with the bringer of downfall? The failed ruin of a warden? The lynx growled, the hair along his spine raising with the fury that rose in his chest like bile. [say]She betrays us with this decision. Neron's actions killed Halovians. He was willing to sacrifice a CHILD and this entire Citadel for his OWN SELFISH DEESIRE. Zariah made those same choices, and she paid her price. She is dead.[/say] Noah was screaming over the bond, a surge and burst of anger and emotion that Deimos had surely never felt from the hunter before now. [say]Neron was never rightfully charged for his crimes, and because of that he has used his venom to sway that of our warden.

When we pulled Neron from power Morgan was ready to kill him. I saw it in her eyes. Now she shares his bed.[/say] Noah's claws dug into the ice beneath him, cracking it as his anger manifested in every part of his body. What had Morgan done? she let a snake, dangerous and vile and dark, sneak into her bed and let his dick change her into someone the hunter no longer knew. He hissed then, releasing what the growl had summoned. He stood, and paced along the top of the wall for several minutes in silence, though the fury that bubbled beneath the surface was not masked by the bond.

[say]If the old gods hate Morgan because of her choices, then I have to believe they will support those who support them.[/say] He was facing away from Deimos now, looking out over the frozen world. His frozen world. The world that Morgan betrayed.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-19-2021

The wolves must have known; within an instant the calm ambience broke away for something fierce and feral, echoing through the throngs of their attuned natures like a beating drum. In Deimos’ heart it sounded like war, reverberating and resounding, and in Noah’s vocals it sounded like uproar and upheaval, a call to arms the Sword had already been mustering. But he valued the ferocity, the anger, the abhorrence for what it was, and for what it meant: the hunter was committed to this stark, beautiful, chilling, and dangerous world, and didn’t want to lose it either. Not by the trappings of the Voice, not by the smug facets of Neron, not by the twisted, bizarre choices of their Warden. His fury didn’t match Noah’s – he’d already had time to contemplate, and he smothered it down into his ribs and spine for another day, another hour, when he could act upon the emotion.

But he listened, absorbing the rage and its worth, brewing in his cold, cold nonchalance, balancing out the fervency with a malevolence lacquered in bitterness. [say]I always wondered why he was allowed to stay.[/say] Perhaps meant to be a little pawn in the Voice’s schemes; ensconced here, in the ice and snow, where he could again meander his way into a regime, topple it again for the sake of the goddess. For the sake of himself. And now clambering, whispering in the Warden’s ear; they could see the eventuality, the writing on the wall.

Something had changed and altered, but it hardly seemed to matter at the moment. Deimos remained still as Noah paced, as the wrath and contempt burned against his insides, and the solemn, painstaking decrees solidified themselves all over again. [say]Safrin has given me a task, and I intend to see it through.[/say] The layers were unsaid, but his piercing gaze sweeping back to the lynx likely said it all. A breath pooled from his chest, and then his stare returned over the horizon, watching the back of the wolf pack driving onward into the gradient dusk. [say]Halo cannot belong to the Voice.[/say]


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-20-2021

Noah felt as if the bricks in the wall of his life were slowly being taken out one by one. Every few months, or seasons, a sledgehammer would come in and wreck an entire section of the wall--the Eirachi attack, Weaver's death, his relationship with Delphine, Korbin leaving--those were the most recent sledgehammers. There was little replacing the broken and damaged bricks, though that did happen. Korbin had returned. Noah was moving up to be Halo's most valuable hunter. These, though, were just small fixes. Half-dried mortar on already cracked and shattered stone.

He needed to stop the destruction. He needed to protect himself, and he needed to protect his home. He had gone to Frey for this very thing, and he knew

[say]Tell me more about your task from Safrin.[/say] The lynx did not look back over his shoulder at Deimos. He watched as the wolves disappeared on the horizon, the faintest of lights coming up in the distance, as his anger bubbled and churned within him. While sunrise was still far off for them, the whispers of it started early over the vast tundra.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-20-2021

Walls upon walls upon walls; Deimos knew them well. Added to his fortress and fortifications on the regular, beating and bleeding, until something they didn’t even resemble what he’d started with. Bit by bit, things altered and changed – massive heartbreaks, sicknesses, deaths, damnation, consequences rendered so bleak and devastating that he’d thought about giving up and giving in. But not now, not with these parameters and details, not with these endless upheavals. There was too much at stake, too many lives, for him to back away and collapse now.

The wolves were gone, vanished traces upon the snow, but the howls echoed off in the distance, in between the rumbling of plots and transgressions. His voice was a grumble too, low and steady in the face of wrath. [say]She wants Halo to say they side with the Old Gods.[/say] Which would only happen with leadership, with alteration, with either convincing, deceit, or another plot manifested within. Along the Attuned statutes, he did just that; folding trust into the mainframe, as descriptions lined, fixtured upon the horizon.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-21-2021

Still a few yards off from the warlord, the hunter reclined to his haunches. Blue, feline eyes looked out to the horizon. He scanned over it. Even further away now, the faintest of growls and barks signaled to him that the wolves may have found the prey they were searching for. The final bleat of defeat from whatever creature they found, be it luxere or moose or reindeer, gave his racing mind enough confidence they had not found a wayward hunter returning to home. As Deimos explained where he was at and what he knew and what Safrin had said, Noah listened and let his anger boil within him.

[say]We have to protect Halo at all cost. You, our general, have to have that in your heart too. I cannot let my home be destroyed again because of the gods. The Eirachi attack was enough to know that, had one of the heralds or their gods above them had that same anger, we would all be dead.[/say] It was Neron's choices and his running to the Voice to escape his child sacrifice to the Eirachi that caused the attack. the Eirachi was merely a seasonal deity -- lesser in power than the gods, but still powerful enough to kill -- and the idea that her power was only a fraction of what Safrin or Ludo or Frey might posses made him shudder.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Deimos - 06-21-2021

More howls, more growls, more barks, faint and triumphant; perhaps something they could be, in time. With enough resources, mindsets, and inclinations pooled and pulled together. The Sword remained immersed in Noah’s anger, but flinched only slightly at the second statement – incapable of letting that remain furtive and secret. [say]I am no longer General.[/say] He permitted some of the pain in that statement to linger, the way it coldly wound along his ribs, a sting, a retribution, of his hard work dissolved within an instant of impulsive decisions. [say]Morgan took me off the council, after I admitted to burning one of Torchline’s guildhouses.[/say] His eyes stared out, into the darkness, into the threshold of ice and rime, not really wanting to see the hunter’s expression – lynx or otherwise. [say]Sunjata had hurt Ru, and I wanted him to pay. So I tried to take out his spy and crime ring.[/say] An absolute mess; but the bare minimum was there.

He sighed, the stare ever present, the brows furrowing again as the brooding persisted. [say]He has an extension of it here, in the Kraai, but no one seems to care.[/say] Save for maybe him and Hotaru; which Deimos found utterly ridiculous. The Sword’s head hung a little lower then, the shoulders concaving back, gaze looking down the stone fixtures of the Citadel wall. [say]But I promised to protect Halo, and I will continue to do so.[/say] With or without a title – it scarcely mattered. He’d lost the recognition and worth, but not the resolve, not the drive, not the magic, weapons, or shifts.


RE: your soul is a wall of thorns - Noah - 06-22-2021

Noah hates being angry. He hated every part of it. He hates how it made his chest burn and his throat scratch. He hated how it made his palms sweat. He hated how it gripped his heart and threatened to never let go.

But this anger, this fury, he was not sure he hated.

It felt different. It felt…right. Like something that had been waiting to grow within him finally had the freedom to burst forth. The anger felt…invigorating. To know that it was shared was to validate it for everything it was: truth.

He was surprised when Deimos revealed he had lost his spot on the council. He turned to look at the warlord over his shoulder, the shock clear across the bond. He didn’t quite know what to say in the moment, but the realization that he was the only council member to stand now with Morgan making the decisions she was making caused his stomach to twist and turn. He had no one else to trust. His jaw set, and he growled again.

[say]So the snake survives and bring treachery upon us in the shadow of Weaver’s death.[/say] Noah rumbled, mostly to himself.