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+---- Thread: I know the feeling haunts you (/showthread.php?tid=5721)
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RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Seren - 06-13-2021
Drawing in a shaking breath, Seren did her best to listen without throwing up her defenses. She wasn't used to this feeling of overwhelming obstacles looming ahead. Challenges had always been fun and fulfilling before. What changed? Why was she suddenly terrified of falling short - when expectations had been something to take pride in only a few weeks ago?
[say]"I just... feel so hopelessly inadequate,"[/say] she admitted, pressing her mouth into a tight line as a hot tear snuck past her defenses and rolled down the cheek. [say]"There are all these people around me who are in so much pain. And I want to help, Maeve, but... there's so much I don't understand. And they won't talk to me, not in the ways that matter, because I am a child and should thus be protected. From all their big and terrible secrets."[/say] Almost angry now, she swiped at the tear, only for it to be replaced by another.
[say]"They don't want to burden me, apparently. Do I look that weak? Am I that unreliable? I don't want to be, but maybe - "[/say] She had to break off, the voice was shaking too much. And it just felt like proof, despite what Maeve said. What good was empathy if she lost herself in the emotions and troubles of others? If she couldn't even handle herself...
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Maeve - 06-14-2021
Maeve watched her quietly process the things she said, tears slipping hotly down the starchild's cheeks despite her best efforts and the Madame wanted to reach forward to comfort her friend, but knew it wouldn't help in this moment. Not when Seren already felt so small. So worried about falling short. When she felt so much like the child everyone mistook her for.
[say]"I do too."[/say] Maeve admitted, a bitter laugh pushing past her lips as her brows drew together, shaking her head as she met Seren's red rimmed gaze. [say]"I understand, Seren. I want to help people too. I want to be there for those I care about, but I don't have any skills or powers or... I didn't even know how to properly throw a punch until a few weeks ago."[/say] She took a small step forward, extending her hand to her friend, eyes soft despite the hardline of her jaw that gave away just how stressed she was about the situation too. [say]"You're young, but you aren't a child. It isn't fair that they treat you as such."[/say]
A sigh pushed past her lips as she shook her head, [say]"It isn't that you look weak, Seren. That's not it at all. I- It's hard when the people you're wanting to protect are used to doing the protecting themselves. They don't know how to accept help."[/say] She explained, hoping that the girl realized it had to do with those around her and nothing to do with herself.
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Seren - 06-14-2021
Accepting Maeve's hand, she squeezed it tightly and wiped at her face with the other sleeve. Sniffling, confused about this sudden outburst of emotions she hadn't even realized were bottling up inside. It was a good reminder, that all her stubborn friends had their own reasons for acting the way they did. While she didn't like it - they should just lean on her when she offered her shoulders for it, right? - Seren could accept that it wasn't entirely her own fault.
[say]"I can't actually do that much, for anyone,"[/say] she admitted thickly. Her nose was clogged, red blotches appearing on her face - some people could look beautiful even while crying, but Seren was not among them. [say]"Listen, mostly. But I have no say when it comes to the big things. I'm no governor, or priest, or legendary hero who get things done just by walking onto a scene. I'm not my dad."[/say] Nor was she her mother, as Aurelia so tersely had pointed out. Her words counted for nothing - a mere teenager, still apprenticing.
Who would listen to someone like that?
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Maeve - 06-14-2021
Maeve gave her hand a squeeze back, reaching forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks with her other hand, thumb gently wiping across her skin as she offered a small smile. [say]"Good. I'm glad you aren't your dad. This world doesn't need another Ronin Taliesin. It doesn't even necessarily need you to be anything."[/say] She told her softly, head cocking to the side as she regarded her with kind eyes, leaning forward to press their foreheads together for a moment before planting a kiss there. [say]"We are lucky to have you as you are. I know your mother has plans for you. Bright hopes and dreams. I have no doubt that you will get there, but you don't owe this world anything. Not one damn thing."[/say]
She meant it too. Seren was a gift, but that didn't mean they deserved her or got to make demands of her. She was still a person. Even if her mother was a goddess. [say]"In time, you will grow into yourself. People will listen and stop underestimating you. They likely don't even realize that they are."[/say] Maeve drew back, cupping her cheek gently as she gazed at her, offering a reassuring smile. This the Madame believed fully.
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Seren - 06-14-2021
But her dad was amazing. There protest was there on her tongue. Wasn't his shadow something worth striving for? Maeve was still speaking though, and Seren could only listen. Swallowing her objections, allowing them to be wrapped up in soft cotton of reassurances.
Maeve's breath smelled sweet, and there was a hint of perfume in the air that lingered even as she withdrew. The kiss to her forehead lingered too, like a tickling brand or blessing - a stamp of approval?
Sighing deeply, Seren's head fell forward until it rested on the smaller woman's shoulder. She had to stoop quite a bit to manage it, but the pounding ache in her head was eased and that was all she cared about. Was this her? Had the flower done something to her, to make all the world seem so very heavy?
[say]"I'm glad you're my friend, Maeve,"[/say] she breathed, somewhere between a sigh and a confession. [say]"Don't know what I would do without you."[/say] She closed her eyes. A memory of golden eyes flashed past - they had been warm and compassionate too. Frowning, Seren wondered where that thought came from. Maeve's eyes were green.
It must be the pollen.
[say]"Can we... go somewhere else?"[/say] she asked tentatively. [say]"I don't think I like this place that much."[/say] The green splendour had lost all its magic, now that it contained so much faded stardust.
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Maeve - 06-14-2021
As the starchild's head fell to her shoulder, her hand came up to rest against the back of it, fingers gently working through the strands as she held her friend close. Her other hand rubbed lightly at her back, soothing circles as they stood there in the Glade, sweet air having grown sour around them. [say]"I'm glad you're mine too. I love you to bits and I'll always be here for you. I promise."[/say] Another kiss is pressed against her temple, keeping her close in this moment until she spoke again, asking for something that Maeve was more than willing to give her.
[say]"Yeah... Let's go."[/say] Finally, the Madame drew back, taking the girl's hand and pulling her along. Their dragons following along after them. She made sure to get the jar, passing it to Seren so she could place it into her pocket space where it would be safe. [say]"Where do you want to go? We can go anywhere. Anywhere at all."[/say]
RE: I know the feeling haunts you - Seren - 06-15-2021
Straightening up, Seren accepted the jar and very carefully transferred it from her hands into the pocket realm. For someone unaccustomed to the sight, seeing her bend halfway into nothingness to the point where both head and torso disappeared might be unnerving. Maeve should be getting used to it by now though, and the young demigod certainly did not treat it as anything special.
[say]"Anywhere is fine, as long as it's not here,"[/say] she replied, and took her friend's hand. Looking around, Seren found that none of the horizons held any allure at the moment. She was tired, bone weary and with far too much to think about. Once she found a decent shelter to stay the night, perhaps she would try to write. Penning letters had a way of clearing the mind that even conversations with the Madame could not manage.
- FIN