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+---- Thread: don't threaten me with a good time (/showthread.php?tid=6304)
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
[say]"Sure,"[/say] Mateo concedes, already pulling out his phone to order sushi while they head downstairs, and planning on putting on the very old school Dracula once they're home. Because the senseless makes sense when it's Mateo. [say]"Mm...? Aw, Ever. No no, you didn't make me cry. It was Keith."[/say] He nearly hisses the word, appropriately vampiric as they head out of the elevator on the ground floor and Mateo is privy to the worst description of himself in the world.
[say]"What? No they are not,"[/say] he says about his toes, though they probably are because Ever is the type to know these things. Granted, he wasn't asking what he looked like, but that doesn't matter now he supposes. [say]"Okay, sushi is on the way, but it looks like it's started to rain so I'm gonna run to the cab. Hold on tight!"[/say] And off he goes.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"Nnnnn."[/say] Ever hums, having lost the plot entirely. He's imagining Keith shooting a golden retriever just now, which is probably why Mateo sounds so upset about it. Or maybe his friend is just leaking air, giving how he's hissing.
[say]'Yes they are.'[/say] Ever argues back, sounding triumphant. [say]"Oh. I think I have an erection."[/say] The paramedic says looking down at his lap with a distant sort of interest. Normally, this sort of thing just wouldn't happen but if it didn't, Ever would not be treating it like some strange specimen to be watched. [say]"Okay, well be quick then. I wouldn't want you to dissolve. You're very sweet."[/say]
Meanwhile, the nurses at the intake desk have all hastily stood up, glancing at each other nervously as Mateo darts by with Ever. Given you aren't meant to take the wheelchairs out of the hospital, given that Mateo looks homeless and Ever looks very medicated, it absolutely looks as though there's a kidnapping taking place.
[say]"Hey! Hey wait! Stop!"[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
[say]"You have a-- oh, so you do. Because of my toes?"[/say] It doesn't matter if it's true or not - the connection has already been made, and Mateo's smiling so hard his dimples might leave permanent rivets in his face. [say]"Aww, you think so? You are very sweet for saying so. Now let's go."[/say] At least that's the plan, anyway, but as they rush out of the hospital doors into a patter of rain that has quickly become a downpour, the nurses' cries reach his ears.
[say]"I can't!"[/say] he yells back to them. [say]"It's raining and he's got an erection!"[/say] Cackling, he trundles the wheelchair to the waiting cab, quickly dumps everything into it (including Everest) and then jogs back with the wheelchair. [say]"Thank you!"[/say] Mateo calls, giving it a frivolous push back in through the doors, unmanned.
And thus they start on their way home, soaking wet in the back of the cab with the rain hammering onto the windows. [say]"That was fun."[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"Maybe. Toes are regularly used during some phalloplastic procedures."[/say] Listen. It makes sense in his mind, though in a few hours when he's less stoned, all reasonableness will be gone.
[say]"He's..what? Hey!!"[/say] Mateo doesn't stop and the nurses aren't quite sure what to do. Security is there as the wheelchair is rolled back up the doors, leaving the two guards turning over their shoulders wondering what the protocol here was.
[say]"Do you have a napkin?"[/say] Ever wonders, looking cheerful and content in the back of the cab despite the rose-bloom of blood coming through his shirt. It's at that moment his cell phone begins to ring, though because Mateo was the one who put it into his pocket, the paramedic things that his thigh has started to play an instrument.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
[say]"They're used in what?"[/say] Mateo wants to know, and it's only because they're now safely in the back of the cab that he can grin about it. It's true that this is the sort of information that Ever would regularly offer anyway, but somehow it's funnier now because it involves his actual erection. Turning to gaze out of the window as they pause at a traffic light, he hmms and glances back only to see the red bloom of blood. [say]"Oh fuck,"[/say] he quips.
He doesn't have a napkin unfortunately, but he can reach the cellphone, and he uses the still-flapping arm of Ever's shirt to gently try and stem the blood flow even as he's frisking him to answer the phone. [say]"Hello, Everest Hart's cell, Mateo speaking,"[/say] he chirps, as if it's going to be all sunshine and brightness on the other line.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"Some genital reconstruction surgeries."[/say] Ever replies, and it's at this point that the cab driver looks worriedly into his rearview mirror. [say]"No bleeding in my cab!"[/say] He barks in a thick accent, narrowing bushy eyebrows at Mateo.
As his wound is pressed upon (just a few popped stitches, no big deal really), Ever feels nausea rise in the back of his throat like a rubber duck displaced by a flailing child. [say]"I might pass out,"[/say] He whispers chipperly.
[say]"Mateowho?"[/say] The man's voice on the other end demands. [say]"I'm looking for Everest Hart. I've been told he was just taken from the hospital not of his own accord."[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
[say]"A toe penis - gross,"[/say] Mateo says with a wrinkle of his nose, and he flails at the cab driver as if to tell him he's on the phone, at the same time turning to Ever to deal with the passing out situation. For a hot mess, he navigates other hot messes with ease, shifting to put his free arm around his friend. [say]"Close your eyes and take big, slow breaths,"[/say] he whispers back to him. [say]"Count them, okay?"[/say]
And then onto the phonecall. [say]"Mateo Taliesin,"[/say] he says smoothly. [say]"I am Ever's roommate, and he asked me to help him to check out from the hospital this morning. Was there paperwork I missed? I'm sorry - it was raining and a cab was waiting for us. Can I sign it on an email or something?"[/say] Does he know shit about hospitals?
Absolutely not, considering he spends so much time in them. (Ever usually takes care of that bit, honestly).
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"Your toes are very sensitive."[/say] In the front seat, the driver mutters something about toe-fetish fucktards under his breath. [say]'Onnnneeeee'[/say] Ever is trying both to count and inhale at the same time, which is making him sound like an absolute maniac. Cradled in the crook of Mateo's arm though, he's quite content actually.
There's a period of skeptical silence, before the voice on the other end sighs, having apparently been given more context by someone else nearby. [say]"Is Everest there? Can you put him on so we can confirm, please."[/say]
[say]"—seveeeen."[/say] Ever keeps counting. This is the highest he's ever counted, he thinks. Wait, was that a pun? Something about highest and ever, and everest, and...oh. Well now he's lost track.
[say]'...oonneeeeeeee'[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
Mateo is about to lecture the cab driver about kink-shaming when he remembers he's on a phonecall with a bleeding and counting Everest on his shoulder, and he dutifully gets his priorities in order. (He strokes Ever's hair a bit before remembering he doesn't like it, first priority). [say]"I'll do that, but I'll just make you aware that someone gave him some quite strong pain medication and he's quite drowsy and incoherent,"[/say] he informs the man on the other end of the phone.
And here we go. [say]"Ever, you have a phonecall. It's from the hospital, okay? You don't have to move or open your eyes, I'll just hold it up to your ear,"[/say] Mateo tells him, jostling him just a bit so he can smoosh the phone agains this ear and cheek and let him count numbers at (presumably) the doctor.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
With a bright and shining clarity that almost nothing in his life will ever come close to matching, Ever understands Petunia. With each hateful stroke of his hair, Ever wants to splatter the man's entrails on the windows of the cab, but doesn't because 1. he's comfortable, 2. he's bleeding out, and 3. he's fairly certain Mateo is the one who ordered them food.
[say]'Four?'[/say] Everest says, instead of hello. Whatever the voice in his ear is saying makes him grow quite serious, and it's with shocking clarity that he says, [say]"Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to see to the paperwork once I'm back in a few days. No, no, thank you."[/say] Lolling his head to the side that he might gaze at Mateo, Ever's expression melts back into a stupor as he grins. [say]"He had no idea about the blood!"[/say] He cackles gleefully, to which the cabbie shouts, [say]"No blood in the cab!"[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
It's such a seamless switch that Mateo starts to doubt that Ever really did take any medicine, and he's about to applaud his friend for growing such a strange and delightful sense of humour. But of course then the phonecall ends and it's back to chaos, and the florist snorts out a laugh without being able to help it. [say]"Oh, stai zitto! We are all just bags of blood!"[/say] he snaps to the cab driver, putting Ever's phone back in his own pocket (he's not going to try and feel up the paramedic a second time) and trying to deal with the blood.
It's nothing horrifying, he concludes, just a bit startling, and it can probably wait until they are home. Which is where Mateo gets them in short order, managing to toss their belongings into the hallway before fetching Everest, just so the cabbie can scream off down the street in the downpour. [say]"Yeah, well, I didn't give you a tip!"[/say] Mateo yells after him, ducking under Ever's good arm so they can get upstairs.
[say]"Okay, we are going to get you into some dry clothes, and you can lay on the sofa while I get everything else sorted out. Deal?"[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"I wonder if we can use that to stop the bleeding. If there's a hole in my shoulder, we could put it in?"[/say] Ever says of his erection, as if it might be some sort of wad of cotton they could just shove into his wound. The driver is sucking on his teeth and cursing back at Mateo in his mother tongue, and the fact he hasn't been tipped is softened by the fact that the two gay idiots were out of his cab.
[say]'Do I need clothes?'[/say] Ever wonders, dazedly, leaning against the wall and pressing his fingertips against it. [say]"If I wear clothes, I have to wash them, and then wear them and wash them, and wear them and wash them and—"[/say] Looking over his shoulder dramatically, asks, [say]"When does it end?"[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 10-27-2021
[say]"Mmmm no we're not going to do that,"[/say] Mateo informs his roommate warmly, managing to gather up their things and get them upstairs and into the apartment, before rushing back for Ever. [say]"Well I guess you don't need clothes,"[/say] he explains, slipping back beneath his arm to help him up the stairs. [say]"We can just wrap you up in a blanket."[/say]
That's his plan, actually, and as they step into the apartment, Mateo helps the paramedic to sink down onto the sofa so that he can peel off the sweatpants and the bloody, ruined button-up. [say]"We will need to change your bandage, though,"[/say] he says, though first he's dealing with the blanket situation, gathering the ones from Ever's bed to drape over him. [say]"Just stay here - I'm gonna tidy up while we wait for sushi, okay?"[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 10-27-2021
[say]"Like a sushi."[/say] Ever agrees, still petting the wall with a fingertip but keeping his hips awkwardly reclined so that his erection wouldn't touch more than it had to. [say]"Does that make me the fish, or the rice?"[/say] He wonders, unclear if the blanket was the seaweed or not.
Sitting down on the sofa, looking strangely childlike save for his boner, Ever lets himself be undressed, howling only once as his arm is moved. [say]"Tidy Heidi Ho.'[/say] He signs, looking from the head of his penis pointed up at him, and then to the blood-stained bandages, still trying to mentally see if it would fit. He really did think it would, though now that it wasn't covered in a layer of cloth, Ever wasn't so sure the pinkish skin was as absorbent as he'd originally thought. Leaning his shoulder forward (ow), Ever takes his penis in one hand and begins to tip. There's a momentary conflict between the pain from his wound and the pleasure of touching himself that short circuits his brain, and from the other room Mateo will hear a crash as Ever falls off the couch.