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+---- Thread: don't threaten me with a good time (/showthread.php?tid=6304)
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-23-2021
[say]"Excuse me, this is a private conversation,"[/say] Mateo informs their third wheel - loudly - in the public bathroom. He's still feeling indignant about it when Everest opens the door to the stall, but the sight of his friend causes him to warm up a bit. [say]"Okay, let's go,"[/say] he agrees readily, moving to hold open the door for him. [say]"There's nothing to apologise for. You came home after a long shift, it's no wonder your body's acting crazy."[/say]
Because blaming Ever's body for going rogue of its own accord is likely a better line of thought than just having an erection because he liked the nipple tassels. Mateo (not entirely in a straight line) checks they have everything from their table and leads them out of Margot's and into the cold air. Around them the lights are dazzling now, and he breathes out a cloud of white as he admires it all. [say]"We should get our decorations down from the loft,"[/say] he suggests.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-23-2021
As he passes by his friend, there's a moment where he thinks that Mateo might be right. Maybe he's just tired? It wasn't as though he hadn't seen breasts before, and not just in an anatomical sense either. He'd seen a few pornos, despite his reluctance. They'd never done much for him given how ludicrously fake they were, but perhaps it was something about seeing it all live...?
Following behind the florist like a drunken bee, Ever blinks into the cold, watching as the Christmas lights blur in and out of focus making it appear as though they were twinkling. [say]"Now?"[/say] Ever wonders, and then without hesitation (despite what a terrible idea this is), adds: [say]"Okay."[/say]
Trying to flatten his erection by prodding it with one of his fingers through the pocket of his pants, he glances back and forth down the street. Seeing no cabs to immediately hail, he pulls out his phone. [say]"Uber?"[/say] He asks, just in case Mateo has some other idea about how to get home (another bike, perhaps).
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-23-2021
[say]"Mmm, or tomorrow,"[/say] Mateo says behind the yawn he's currently hiding behind his hand. Ever has just come off a shift, after all, and Mateo has had enough alcohol to be sleepy but not enough to become recklessly himself. He does absolutely nothing to his erection other than let it sit expectantly beneath the layers of his clothes, though instead he does reach out to slip his hand through his friend's arm, leaning companionably against him.
[say]"Uber is good,"[/say] he confirms with a dip of his head, and he draws them to a stop so Ever can properly navigate his phone (and so Mateo can shamelessly enjoy the lights that span this particular street). [say]"Are you alright?"[/say] he asks after a while, gazing up at Everest with a soft smile.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-26-2021
Though Mateo is indeed one of the few who can touch the paramedic without it making his skin crawl with underlying assumptions and social norms, on this night despite the many layers of warm clothing between the two, something about his friend's touch makes Ever want to shiver. Swallowing down his unease (of course), Ever just smiles and dips his head, focusing intently on the Uber app.
[say]'What do you mean?'[/say] He asks, though this is one of the few times where he does in fact know precisely to what Mateo is referring. Then again, the florist could really be asking him about anything at all. [say]'There. 7 minutes away. And it isn't even too cold, so we can wait for it out here.'[/say] It was cold, and though normally Ever would have suggested they wait inside, tonight he turns his back on the bar and gazes determinedly out into the street.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-26-2021
[say]"You seem more upset than usual over what happened,"[/say] Mateo says gently, leaving his arm threaded through Ever's and keeping his eyes on the sparkling array of lights that line the streets. [say]"I just wanted you to know we could talk about it, if you thought it would help. Otherwise we can make cocktails at home."[/say] Because his mind has jumped from getting their decorations from the loft to this, naturally.
[say]"It isn't?"[/say] Mateo shivers pointedly at his friend and tips his head back to look up at the sky this time, pregnant with clouds and obscuring the stars. [say]"Looks like snow,"[/say] he says, and though the prospect delights him, he also hates it for the perils it brings his friend's job. Mateo has a habit of leaving Ever panicky voicemails when it's snowing.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-26-2021
[say]'What?'[/say] Ever replies, frowning doubtfully. He'd thought his mask of neutrality had been pretty good. Raising a brow at Mateo, he gives his head a slight shake. [say]"I am as upset as I normally would be."[/say] He protests, weakly. Unsure if more alcohol will help (it almost definitely won't), Ever just shrugs his shoulders against his friend.
[say]'Yeah.'[/say] Uncharacteristically, the paramedic reaches out his other arm to pull Mateo against him to keep him warm. This amount of physicality was still preferable to being inside where the whips and leather had surely been replaced by god knew what. [say]"Besides, it's such a busy time of year, if we aren't here right as they arrive, they might just leave without us thinking we're drunk inside."[/say] Ever reasons.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-26-2021
[say]"Okay,"[/say] Mateo says, his tone the sceptical sing-song of someone who knows bloody well that it isn't okay, but isn't willing to fight too hard about it either. His eyes are still on the snowclouds when Ever reaches an arm around him, the florist stumbling a little before smirking across at his friend. [say]"Oh, I see,"[/say] he drawls, purposely exaggerating so there's no doubt that he's joking. [say]"If you wanted a cuddle, you didn't have to make us wait out here,"[/say] he says, leaning into the other man.
Seven minutes passes amid quiet conversation about lights and weather and Christmas plans, and their Uber pulls up to the kerbside. Cheering that they aren't going to freeze to death, Mateo offers Everest a flamboyant bow for his oh-so-gallant behaviour, then clambers into the back of the vehicle and all but begs the driver to turn up the heat. Does it matter that it's only a five minute drive, if that? Nope.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-26-2021
Though you might think this episode is going to take a deep and meaningful turn, as it happens, it's about to end. The pair get home, and though Mateo is very enthusiastically offering to make cocktails, Ever decides that he'd rather go to bed. Despite the yowls of upset from the kitchen (though whether they come from Mateo or Petunia the paramedic really doesn't know), he is able to fall asleep where his mind can unpack (and unwrap) it's own version of the night's events.
////
Like a good parent, Ever is up earlier than Mateo making sure that everything was just so. The cookies they'd put out last night (laced with catnip for Petunia), were partially eaten, the apartment looking as thought Santa had gone on a bender, done some LSD and vomited decorations everywhere, and Mateo's stocking was placed just so about their fake fireplace.
Watching the oven with rapt attention so that he could silence its coming-to-temperature beeping (not that it really mattered, Mateo slept like the dead), Ever presses a button and puts in a tray of gooey cinnamon-y lumps, before sitting back and sipping his coffee.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-26-2021
Mateo tries not to alter his mental state on important occasions like Christmas Fucking Eve. He often fails, but as it so happens this time, he'd stayed up way too late watching cartoons in Italian and smooshing his face against the window to watch the snow while eating cookies. The cookies might have been laced with catnip, though, which is sort of the same, right? Right.
Either way, his arrival is preluded by a thump, a peal of [say]"He's been!"[/say] and a great amount of shuffling. When Mateo does emerge, it's in a Santa hat, a starry shawl and a pair of pj pants with Santa Baby emblazoned along one leg. [say]"Merry Christmas!"[/say] he announces, still squinty from sleep and carrying a stuffed stocking with him for Ever.
This, of course, is before he notices the apartment, and the glee on his face has his cheeks dimpling, a pink flush dusting across them. [say]"Ever, you got up too early again!"[/say] It sounds like a complaint, but it isn't.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-26-2021
Glancing up, Ever's expression is one that's both smug and perfectly adoring as he watches Mateo sleepily clog his way out of his room, dressed in articles of clothing that likely aren't all his, and yet they might also have been purchased for this very occasion; one never knows. For his part, Ever is dressed like someone's dad, in a cable-knit sweater and neatly-pressed sweatpants. [say]"He has. Or she."[/say] One never knows that these days, either.
[say]"No I didn't."[/say] He protests, sounding just a touch playful. [say]"It was like this when I got up."[/say] DING!, because of course the cinnamon buns are finished. Pulling them out carefully, Ever glances over his shoulder. [say]"Care to help me glaze them?"[/say] The icing is already out, as are an abundance of different coloured and shaped sprinkles.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-26-2021
[say]"Or she,"[/say] Mateo agrees with a sunny smile, shuffling over to deposit Ever's stocking next to his own, gazing over his shoulder with a very suspicious narrowing of his eyes. [say]"Pants on fire,"[/say] he drawls, though his playful ribbing is interrupted by the DING! of cinnamon buns, and of course Mateo cares to help Ever glaze them. He knots the shawl around his neck so it won't fly off with his incredible decorating skills, then sidles up beside the paramedic to obnoxiously smoosh a kiss to his cheek.
[say]"Okay, same deal as every year,"[/say] Mateo tells him, carefully dividing the buns into equal portions. [say]"These are yours. They are sacred and they will be uniformly decorated to perfection."[/say] He gestures to Ever's buns. [say]"And these are mine. They are perfettamente imperfetto and I will decorate them con abbastanza zucchero che potrei morire."[/say]
Clapping his hands together, he scoops up some icing and globs it onto his cinammon buns.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-26-2021
Miming checking his pants, Ever raises his gaze and offers Mateo a dry and humourless expression. He might have admitted to the whole charade right then and there, had the ding of the oven not spared his conscience.
Grumbling something about COVID under his breath as he's unceremoniously smooched, Ever looks at the buns and frowns. [say]'If I didn't decorate mine so sensibly there wouldn't be enough icing for yours.'[/say] He points out cheerfully. [say]'Also, I'd probably get diabetes. So you decorate yours abba-stanza zucchini all you like.'[/say] Having picked up only conversational Italian and not whatever colourful descriptors Mateo had just used, Ever purposefully does his best to ruin the sounds as he says them.
Both men will suddenly feel a sharp pain in their calves, following by a low yowling sound. Though Petunia had let Ever put a santa hat and jingle bell collar on her, apparently her willingness was just to lure him into a false sense of security while she plotted each of their deaths. Having so plotted, there was now a furry ball of death switching her tail back and forth behind them.
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Mateo - 12-27-2021
Mateo's exaggerated expression of horror and disgust at abba-stanza zucchini is honestly the stuff of Christmas cards, and were it not for the globs of icing he needs to mould into diabetic perfection, he'd have corrected his friend. Or he'd have slapped him across the face - Mateo isn't sure. Alas, they aren't going to be able to dwell on it for much longer, because at that moment in time their cat apparently attempts to hobble them.
Yelping can be musical on Christmas, and Mateo proves it as he jumps with shock and spins to look at the furry culprit. In a show of comedic errors (naturally), he's holding a spoon covered in icing as he turns, of which some gloops onto Petunia, followed by a smattering of snowflake sprinkles.
[say]"Oh fuck,"[/say] Mateo has time to say, before the yowling ball of sticky fur is bolting across the impeccably decorated apartment and straight into their Christmas tree. A few baubles cheerfully bonk along the floor, and Petunia hisses. [say]"I suppose she will not want her presents yet."[/say]
RE: don't threaten me with a good time - Everest - 12-27-2021
Ever has turned as well, but much more slowly. If you are being stabbed by something, the worst thing in the world is to flail about lest you wound yourself more. Of course, Ever's clear-headedness hardly counts for anything in this situation, as Petunia's wrath is apparently levelled-up by having been sprinkled. [say]"I...thought it would be nice."[/say] Ever says sadly, watching their hypoallergenic cat thoughtfully de-bough their Christmas tree. [say]"But no, I don't think she will."[/say] He replies gravely.
Going toward the tree to clean up, Ever takes only a few steps before he thinks better of it and turns back to Mateo with a sigh. Always a touch melancholy around the holidays, the paramedic does his best to straighten and try on a grin. [say]"Why, I wouldn't touch you with a...thirty nine and a half foot pole!"[/say] He sings over his shoulder to Petunia, who is now quite literally spitting mad.
More decorations fall.
[say]" Do you want to put music on, while I make us some coffee?"[/say]