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only everything - Safrin - 01-02-2022
[say]Ronin...[/say] This time Safrin's voice won't pull her star from sleep, but instead change the colour of his dreams. Swelling with purples and violets so deep, Ronin will find himself rising into the night's sky to join his goddess on a cloud seemingly spun from pure light. [say]"I didn't want to wake you...not after the few days you have had."[/say] She explains, holding her hands out for him.
Seated upon a blanket made of navy cloth, the goddess doesn't rise, but instead hopes to tug Ronin down into a seated position next to her. It has been only a few hours since the pair had left Sunjata at the shrine, but there was simply no time to wait.
RE: only everything - Ronin - 01-02-2022
He had whispered her name before sleep, as he had promised. And perhaps it's that which has her name soaring through his dreams, but Ronin doubts it. He'll barely twitch in his slumber, such is his mental fatigue (if not physical), rising blissfully into the deep, warm hues of the night sky. He feels almost cradled like this, just as he had when he would fish for stars with Vanya, when they both lived up in Safrin's cosmos. With those memories fresh in his mind, it will be with a warm smile that he greets his goddess, sinking down gratefully onto the blanket.
[say]"I appreciate it. I wouldn't want to be tired and grumpy for you,"[/say] he says, his tone mildly teasing, seating himself comfortably beside her. It doesn't take long before his expression grows serious, though. [say]"I am sorry, about Sunjata,"[/say] he murmurs, assuming this is the reason for the call. [say]"I didn't know what would happen when I used my supernova... It could have killed him or saved him. If I disappointed you, I will try to make up for it."[/say]
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-02-2022
Chuckling, Safrin gives her head a slight shake. [say]"No, I think we have had enough tired and grumpy at our meetings, from both of us."[/say] This latter statement is added with a low laugh, that makes Safrin look exquisitely beautiful, and tired. The mention of Sunjata has her expression wilting, but her gaze doesn't darken as she turns her eyes up to his.
[say]"No, I am not disappointed. Whether conscious or not, I am proud of the choice you made. It takes much to be the bigger man, and I admit that's a quality I think you possess far more than I do."[/say] Vindictive was rarely an attribute that followed Ronin Taliesin, quite the way it followed Safrin. [say]"But...there is something about Sunjata I wanted to speak to you about."[/say] So saying the goddess turns herself towards him, offering out both her hands now to clasp his beneath their laps. [say]'What I told him I believe to be true. If Sunjata bartered for his and Nate's safety, then barring the Voice's decision otherwise, they will both be held beneath the ground somewhere. Frey has done it before.
And..."[/say] Suddenly her voice grows tight, but her fingers remain soft in Ronin's. [say]"She has recently attuned and aged up past the point where I can protect her. Sunjata was supposed to keep her safe, and now..."[/say] Trailing off as her throat is suddenly filled with ice, tears roll openly down her cheeks. [say]"I suppose I was a fool for thinking I could trust him with a life. A fool for thinking Sunjata could ever love something else as much as he loves his own destruction."[/say] But she had, and now Kamaria was in danger.
[say]"Know that I am asking this of you, Ronin. There are others I could entrust her with, but none I believe in more than you. She is older now, a young woman, but she will still need someone to help her in this world. To guide and guard her.."[/say]
RE: only everything - Ronin - 01-02-2022
Smiling along with her, Ronin doesn't miss the tiredness in her expression. And he feels for his goddess, which has been one of the things to bind them so tightly together previously. [say]"I'm not sure if you dream, Safrin, but I wish you sweet ones all the same,"[/say] he murmurs, because what else can one do to lift the weight from a goddess's shoulders?
As it transpires? A lot.
His hands slip into hers freely, clasping them between warm fingers, and it's with a shuddering sigh of relief that he seems to melt into the blanket beneath them. [say]"Bigger man or otherwise, I hope it brought it home, for him. What he has done. What he has lost."[/say] Ronin is frowning again before Safrin brings his attention back with the mention of the Flood. Or not the Flood exactly, but something far more precious.
[say]"Kamaria?"[/say] he whispers, his brow furrowing. And unlike all things before now, this answer comes freely and easily given. He reaches out carelessly, perhaps, to wipe the tears from Safrin's cheeks. [say]"I'll protect her like she's my own,"[/say] he vows. [say]"If she'll have me. And as long as she doesn't run off, like Seren."[/say] His smile is sad, but understanding. His own daughters' natures have always been wild - both of them - and he's come to terms with it now.
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-02-2022
Men had been killed for far less than touching her without her consent, but it's with a wilting sigh that Safrin leans into the warmth of Ronin's palm. The mention of Seren has the goddess smiling despite herself, and now it's her turn to cover Ronin's hand with her own, as he's done to her so many times. [say]"She is willful. I wonder where she could ever have gotten that from."[/say] Both of them, of course, but just now it hurt her heart as much as it likely hurt his.
[say]'I was going to ask her next...if you would care to stay?"[/say] Pausing, Safrin blinks hard that she might clear her eyes of her tears if only to peer more deeply into Ronin's. [say]"I love you for doing this. More than I ever have."[/say] With a delicate hush, Ronin's presence will fade from the dream, though he'll still be aware of what is going on. Better that he be able to hear what was about to transpire, but not be apart of it, that nothing should have to be repeated.
Turning, the goddess shifts slightly and takes a breath, before calling out for her daughter. [say]Kamaria...[/say] Like Ronin had, Kamaria will find herself tugged deeper into her slumber such that her dreams will thicken with blues and purples until a cloud of starlight with her mother upon it will bloom in her mind.
RE: only everything - Kamaria - 01-02-2022
For Kamaria, sleep is difficult. When she was small, she would often rampage through her day until eventually propelling herself straight to bed; exhausted, wanting nothing more than the warm comforts of her blankets. Now? She tosses, turns, flinging the blankets from her feet, only to bring them back again. Too much has changed since she grew, and the weight of it all bears heavy on her mind.
And it's just as she starts to sink into a light slumber that the world suddenly turns in, darkness falling all around, and her falling deeper into it. Until there's light again, and her name called, and at first she thinks she's woken up.
Until the image gains some clarity and she sees before her, her mother. The woes of her reality disappear from her mind, for the moment, and all she can think about is Safrin.
[say]"Mom,"[/say] she sighs, relieved. Without another moment wasted, she hurries over to Safrin, her smile not containable, arms reaching to embrace her warmly, [say]"I'm here. Are you okay?"[/say] She glances up as if to examine the goddess, hoping this is not a visit born of emergency.
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-02-2022
[say]"Hello my darling."[/say] Reaching out for Kamaria, pleased beyond words to have her daughter in her arms again, Safrin clutches her close. Releasing her that she might see her smile, Safrin nods though her eyes seem sad. [say]"I am alright my lovely one, but here, sit with me."[/say] Patting the cloud next to her, Safrin moves slightly that Kamaria might have room.
[say]'I...don't know how much you know, or what you have heard yet, about your Father's choice to become a demigod for Frey?'[/say] Gently said, Safrin folds her hands in her lap and gives her daughter her full attention. Though it was only a few weeks ago that she was a bright-eyed child, Kamaria deserved the respect of a young woman even if she hadn't been one for long.
RE: only everything - Kamaria - 01-03-2022
In her searching for anything wrong, Kamaria can see the remnants of tears in her mother's eyes (or just the sadness). Her smile disappears and concern furrows her brow. Upon being invited, she sits promptly on the cloud, but her eyes are set upon her mother with stubborn dedication.
At the mention of her father becoming a demigod for Frey, Kamaria's lips tighten together and for the stir of emotions that awaken, she has to look away. [say]"I know. I know the choice he made. He didn't tell me before he did it, he just... did it."[/say] Her voice is colder and more mature than she's ever heard it be. Until the next sentence, where it cracks and sways and she feels like the helpless child she still is, [say]"But I don't understand why. I can't. After all that you've done for us?"[/say] She turns back to her mother and her gaze shakes with the same emotion that her words do. [say]"How could he leave you?"[/say]
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-03-2022
Gazing toward the stars, Safrin regards them for a moment before shrugging with just as much hopelessness as her daughter. [say]"Your father felt...forced. Felt as though what I wanted him to be was not something he wanted for himself, or not something he could be."[/say] The goddess replies. [say]"..I only wish he had come to me to discuss it before making such a rash decision. But he said he feared what I might do if he turned me down."[/say] Frowning, Safrin shakes her head sadly. [say]"I loved him, and had never shown him anything but that. Sometimes love can be hard to hear, but that doesn't make it any less real."[/say] Stroking her daughter's hair, no longer childish and wavy, but strikingly thick and golden, Safrin tries on a smile.
[say]"It isn't him leaving me that has me worried now, my little light. Sunjata has pledged himself to Frey, and in return, Frey will keep him safe during the war. The bargain was that he and Nate might be kept out of things."[/say] Though it was hard to say, the goddess continues unflinchingly. [say]"Only he and Nate."[/say] Not you, not the ragamuffin children they'd found and brought home.
[say]"Do you remember the talk we had about LongNight? And how everything goes dark and that there is nothing I can do about it?"[/say] Safrin whispered with a feverish intensity, aware that invisibly, Ronin would hear too. [say]"During the war there will be times I cannot reach you. Times I cannot come when you call me. Now...Sunjata won't be able to come to you either, and given how selfish his decision has been—"[/say] A decision he made without thought of you at all—"[say]"—I had hoped you would consider placing your trust in someone else."[/say] Safrin suggests, delicately.
[say]'I know you have grown and you want to grow stronger yet, and the person I have in mind is one of the strongest people you will ever meet. But he's also good Kamaria. He would lay down his own life before letting anything happen to you."[/say] Unlike some people.
RE: only everything - Kamaria - 01-03-2022
Sunjata's feelings cause a frown to etch across Kamaria's face, and she finds herself slowly, minutely shaking her head in disbelief. Not of her mother's words, of course, but of her father's emotions. [say]"He never told me that... he told me all the ways you made him stronger. Attuning him, the gifts- he never talked about you like that, not to me.."[/say] perhaps it's a boon for him, even now, but that isn't Kamaria's point in saying so, [say]"he left me in the dark.."[/say] she was built up back then only to feel confused and hurt now. With no way of possibly being able to predict this choice. It made her feel more naive and childish than she ever had. Numbly, she folds her arms across her abdomen and pulls her knees up to her chest. The stroke of gentle fingers through her hair is the only balm to the frustration that clouds her mind.
A frustration that deepens when Safrin outlines how her father had only ensured safety for himself and Nate. At least her baby brothers would be safe, under Safrin's promised light. But her? To not even speak for or think of her when he made his new arrangements? Her hands bunch into fists around her pants, crumpling the material. [say]"Because no one else matters to him but Nate,"[/say] she realizes, her arms shaking as tears fall from her eyes, [say]"not even me."[/say] She didn't realize the sad irony of the statement, didn't realize the parameters around her birth.
Just as it was beginning to form in her mind, the idea that she'll be alone when everything happens, Safrin is whispering something to her. Lifting her chin from her knees, she slowly turns her teary face to look at her mother. She nods, gaze flickering across her mother's elegant face as she listens to what comes next.
Her expression is still fractured by a broken heart, but there is a hint of hope in her eyes as Safrin proposes someone else to guide her through what would be coming next. She wants to believe her mother, believe in this other person she speaks of. Sniffling as more tears form and fall, she asks, [say]"But Mom... how can I trust this person you're talking about? When I couldn't even trust my own father... What reason do they have for protecting me?"[/say]
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-03-2022
Soothingly, Safrin lets her daughter feel her feelings without judgement. There are times that the goddess herself feels like curling up into a little ball, and she'd not begrudge her child for feeling the way she did. [say]"You do matter to him, my love."[/say] Safrin interjects softly. [say]"Perhaps one day when you are in love with someone, you'll understand. But it does not forgive this choice he's made. It's the duty of parents to sacrifice for their children. He chose you Kamaria, and that matters."[/say] A hard truth to be sure, and even if it was one Sunjata had thrown to the wind, Safrin would not let her daughter walk away from this dream without knowing that at one time, if not now, Sunjata had chosen her.
Shifting to wrap her arms around Kamaria's hunched body, Safrin draws one knee up toward her chest so that she might rest her own chin on it. [say]"Because I trust him more than any other human alive right now. Because he has told me he would look after you like one of his own, and I have seen how fiercely he protects those he loves. In that, he has never once faltered. He is not quite a star the way you are, but he is a star nonetheless."[/say]
RE: only everything - Kamaria - 01-03-2022
That her mother could speak with so much empathy about someone that deeply hurt her is a thing Kamaria has to admire. At any other time, she would try her hardest to encompass that depth of character. But her lips tremble and she shakes her head bitterly, scoffing through her tears, [say]"Then how could he leave us now?"[/say] She might not always mean the things she says and thinks now but, as things are, she can't pretend to understand.
She leans into her mother's shoulder, and it feels different; she has to adjust herself to be able to fit into the space. She isn't the small thing she used to be but it felt like only moments ago that she was.
In the storm of everything, Kamaria can't put two and two together - that Safrin might be talking about her very own demigod. So she can only look at her mother's eyes, the true starlight within them. Straightening, Kamaria pulls herself together... or tries. She wipes the tears from her own eyes, knowing now that no one else would be doing that for her anymore. [say]"Okay... I can do this,"[/say] she sucks in a shuddering breath, cheeks puffy and red still but her tears are gone, [say]"Who is he? Where can I find him?"[/say]
RE: only everything - Safrin - 01-03-2022
[say]"Truthfully...I don't know."[/say] And really, she doesn't. She might have lashed out at Sunjata, but at her core, she didn't understand what lofty aspirations she had forced him to meet. When she had made it seem as though she couldn't come to him. [say]"But know that I will never leave you. That I will always love you."[/say]
Smiling softly and reaching forward to help wipe Kamaria's tears away, Safrin sits slightly straighter. [say]"Ronin. I know you've met him before, when you were younger."[/say] That he had been Sunjata's best friend didn't seem worth saying just now, and so the goddess doesn't. [say]"He is here in this dreamworld with us, if you would like to see him now. If it's too soon that's okay too. I just wanted you to know that when you wake up, you won't be alone."[/say]
RE: only everything - Kamaria - 01-06-2022
[say]"Me too,"[/say] she murmurs, throat growing tight in her emotional turmoil, [say]"I won't leave you, either. You're my mother, you gave me life. I'll never throw that away."[/say] She meets Safrin's eyes, pouring her honesty into the space between them with only a look. Her devotion would not fade into the dark like a dying star, it would burn as bright as the sun. She wouldn't be swayed by anyone's offers no matter how good they seemed.
She doesn't expect Safrin to wipe her face, but when she does Kamaria can only grasp her mother's hand in her own and gently nuzzle her cheek against it. Her eyes close to relish in the everlasting love, the warmth, because she doesn't know how long it will be before she'll see her mother again. Slowly, softly, she lets go of her mother's hand. [say]I have to be strong,[/say] she wills herself, sea-green eyes opening finally as she answers, [say]"I would like to see him, before I wake up."[/say] She stands and her gaze turns, searching for him.