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+---- Thread: under the same sun (/showthread.php?tid=839)
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under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-20-2019
She hadn’t seen Remi since before Ronin’s death, and despite everything that had happened to her since – a new blossoming relationship, the Natural versus Outlander struggle that appeared from what felt like thin air – she felt the need to check up on her friend. How he was doing, caring for the child and everything that had happened since. She was certain it was hard for him, harder than what he’d ever had to deal with before (granted Rexanna didn’t know much about Remi. But that night in the Rathskeller when Ronin had come to the door, they had seemed close.
And she hurt for her friend, despite not knowing Ronin hardly at all. And so she trudged toward the Guildhall where she had heard he’d been staying with the child – blankets she had transmuted into being beyond soft and a small rattle toy she had fixed up, hiding in the bottom of a drawer she had cleaned out of her home. She hoped it would be enough, to help her friend with whatever he would need. Whether it be something to help with the child or someone to talk to.
Children, as well, had always been a sore spot for Rexanna. But this poor child had gone through so much in such a short amount of time that she swallowed whatever nerves she felt, and held the bundle of blankets a bit tighter to her chest as she knocked on the door. “[say]Remi?[/say]” She called, hoping he’d answer.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-20-2019
The days were slightly becoming easier and easier to bear. Waking up from his nest of blankets on the floor, he still expected to see Ronin there next to him. The shock of being alone (save for Aoife and Sugar of course) still sent rivers of ice water through his veins, but they melted faster and faster with each coming day.
That too, hurt.
Remi didn't want to forget this pain. He didn't want Ronin to fade to the background, to become just another friend he had lost. At least if the pain was real, it meant that the guildmaster was close in some sense, didn't it? And yet for however selfish he wanted to be, there was Aoife to consider now. He had to live, if only so that she could.
So when he heard the knock on the door, Remi swept the girl up into his arms and walked towards it. Wearing just a white shirt and trousers, Remi looked perhaps less disheveled than he might have done, but certainly he was scruffy and unkempt to say the least.
[say]"Rexanna!"[/say] He said, false cheer in his voice. [say]"Please, do come in."[/say] The alchemist added, moving backwards so that she could step inside as he pressed a kiss gently to Aoife's head.
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-20-2019
Silently, Rexanna thanked all the gods of Caido that Remi had answered, and despite the greeting Rexanna knew deep down he couldn’t be back to himself. She wasn’t even back to her own self after everything, she’d simply changed. Became different. Adapted. Perhaps that was what Remi was doing now, adapting and changing with the circumstances stacked against him. And if she could help just a little bit, to ease some of the burden, who was she to say no? She stepped in, her gaze flickering from his face to the child as she offered him a smile of greeting.
“[say]I brought some things I thought you might need.[/say]” She began, stepping into the doorway and closing the door so Remi wouldn’t have to with Aoife in his arms. “[say]I brought her some extra soft blankets and a small little rattle toy I found.[/say]” She said, gesturing to the bundle in her arms of the soft blankets and tiny handle of a toy peaking out from beneath. “[say]I meant to come check on you earlier but everything… well, you know.[/say]” She ended awkwardly, rambling off before turning her attention back to him.
“[say]But how is she doing? How are you doing?[/say]” She asked, a smidge of concern hiding in her sapphire gaze as she looked from Aoife to Remi. The child was healthy and happy it seemed, but Remi seemed to still harbor those shadows in his eyes – similar ones that she bore in the dark long nights, and she knew that those never truly went away.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-20-2019
[say]"Thank you."[/say] Remi said with the inklings of a smile as Rex closed the door behind them. [say]"Did you hear that sweet girl? Maybe now you can rattle it at Sugar to keep her away from the rest of your toys, mm?"[/say] He cooed into her dark curls, his smile widening and becoming more genuine as he led Rex into the great room.
It was, in a word, chaos. There was an explosion of blankets before the fireplace, Sugar's den, and a bunch of knocked over furniture. Remi hadn't really bothered with trying to keep things tidy, and as it was just him and two children (one human, one dragon), he didn't much see the point. However with Rex here now (Vai was the only one to really come around, and she tidied a bit—and Sam, once) Remi felt suddenly a bit ashamed of the state of things.
[say]"Uh...ignore the mess. Sorry."[/say] He laughed with a boyish wince. [say]"She is good. She eats more than I ever would have thought possible ... but then again, I am not really sure what I expected."[/say] Remi added with a shrug. [say]"And I...well."[/say] Again, he could only shrug. But the darkness in his eyes, usually so bright and cheerful, said enough. He was not okay, and felt as though he never would be again. Aoife was a light that he could cling to, but the darkness felt as though it was likely to stay forever.
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-20-2019
She offered Remi a quiet smile as he thanked her, watching as he spoke to Aoife – it panged something deep within her and she had to inhale quietly and look away briefly as Remi led her into the great room. Her sapphire gaze slipping from the array of blankets strewn out everywhere. And while it looked chaotic, Rexanna was in absolutely no place to judge. In fact, most of her life was still a mess anyway, the haphazard home she still lived in that needed to be fixed up and cleaned up. So she found a place to set the blankets down, turning back to Remi as he spoke.
“[say]Don’t be sorry.[/say]” She said to him as he apologized, and she meant it. A smile twisted the corners of her lips up. Her eyes flickered to Aoife again as Remi spoke of her, of how much she ate and what he didn’t expect about it. And she nodded along with him then, seeing the dark head of curls and looking back to Remi when he trailed off and shrugged about himself. “[say]I’ve heard they eat a lot, but we’re in the same boat of little to no experience.[/say]” She offered, despite Rexanna’s deep maternal instincts something about them hurt her immensely.
But she tried to lighten the mood with her terrible joke. “[say]She’s lucky she has someone as loving as you to watch over her and care for her. I’d have been lucky to have an Alchemist parent.[/say]” She offered with a quiet laugh, attempting so badly to lighten the mood. And while Remi wasn’t her parent by blood, he was now, and Rexanna found herself relating more and more to the child. “[say]My adoptive parents were great but had nothing of magic or anything. I bet they drowned in diapers.[/say]” She added, glancing back to Remi with a small smile.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-20-2019
Remi smiled, feeling a bit reassured. [say]"Vai gave me a few tips..and I suppose I know where to go if anything goes really wrong, but I think we are doing okay."[/say] Glancing down at Aoife, he touched the tip of his nose to the side of her head as if encouraging her to reply on his behalf. When she didn't he merely shrugged helplessly.
Hearing her call him a parent struck something coiled so tightly inside of Remi that he felt as though he might be snapped in two. Biting back on a sort of gasp, he swallowed and just tried to laugh it off, but merely sort of croaked sadly instead as a bubble of emotion burst in the back of his throat. He didn't want to be Aoife's parent, and not just because of the responsibility. He didn't want it because it shouldn't be him. It should be Ronin ...
It should be..but it wasn't.
[say]"Ahh, sorry. Yes. Magic has been helpful."[/say] He said, green eyes misting slightly with tears as he tugged Aoife closer to him. She however was not sad at all, and squirmed unhappily in his grasp. With a little laugh, he easily gave in to her fussing. [say]"Yes, yes. As you wish. Shall we try the new rattle?"[/say] Gently placing her in her chair with the mobile overhead Vai made, he nodded his head towards Rex if she wanted to give the baby the new toy.
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-20-2019
Perhaps they were both about to experience things they didn’t particularly want to. Remi, faced with the task of being a parent that should have never fallen to him. She noticed the quick change briefly and cleared her throat, eyeing the little girl that seemed beyond happy someone was caring for her. She looked to Remi then, outstretching a hand briefly to rest on his shoulder should he let her. “[say]My parents were killed after I was born. If it weren’t for people like you, I wouldn’t be here.[/say]” She offered quietly, nodding down to the baby he held. “[say]It shouldn’t have happened this way.[/say]” She added apologetically, wanting to comfort Remi in him knowing that it was something that should have been different. But life… life was full of so many terrible things. Sprinkled with the good, mixed in like paint with the bad.
She nodded to him before Remi spoke at last, acknowledging that magic would certainly be useful. And she watched as Aoife began to fuss and he set her in a chair and suggested that Rexanna give her the toy. For a moment, Rex appeared a bit doe eyed, but she couldn’t have expected anything else in coming here. After a moment she cleared her throat again, nodding and moving to grab the toy and moved before Aoife, a soft smile on her lips despite the roiling tremor of her stomach. She bent down before the child and smiled gently at her. “[say]Hello there.[/say]” She said softly at first, reaching over to hand the child the rattler but not before giving it a little shake to hear the bits of rice or beans within make a sound. “[say]Shake it all you like.[/say]” She said a bit softer, hoping that Aoife would take it before Remi noticed the slight unintentional shake of her hand.
“[say]She’s beautiful.[/say]” Rexanna acknowledged after a moment.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-21-2019
Remi leaned slightly into the touch—so much more comfortable with female hands upon him—and listened softly, nodding slightly. [say]"It is not the responsibility I find frightening, although of course there is that."[/say] He said with a small laugh. [say]"It is always wondering what Ronin would do..what he would want. When he was here I did not think twice about any of it. How I held her, what I said to her, the things I made...and now...She is so young, but I need her to still be his."[/say] Shaking his head slightly, Remi wasn't sure if that made any sort of sense. Aoife was his now in one sense...but in another, much more important sense, he needed her to remain Ronin's daughter.
At the shake of the rattle, Sugar appeared from within her den. With wide frosty eyes she looked at the toy, eyeing it as if it might be a predator. [say]"No, absolutely not."[/say] Remi said sternly. Snapping his fingers and pointing back into the den, he had a silent stare-off with the young dragon who, eventually, snorted haughtily and disappeared.
With a laugh, too distracted to notice anything at all amiss with Rex, Remi nodded. [say]"Yes she certainly is. No thanks to Ronin of course. But Vanya was very beautiful. Did you ever meet her?"[/say]
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-21-2019
She noticed him lean into her touch, and she wanted to hug him tight and let him fall apart with her – to be a person for him to lean on whenever he needed it. But she’d decided to let him figure out when that would be and whom it would be with. If it wasn’t her, she didn’t mind, so long as he didn’t keep it bottled up. She knew he’d have to let it out at some point. But Remi spoke of his worries, then, and she listened with ears wide open, nodding to him when he spoke of responsibility.
But then he wanted to be sure that she was Ronin’s daughter, and not Remi’s. To which Rexanna nodded. Her entire world had been sent upside down because of that confusion – because of growing up thinking those that raised you were your parents, when your true parents had been murdered not long after your birth. She inhaled deeply, but she offered him a small smile. “[say]She will know it. When she gets older, she’ll have questions and you’re responsibility is to tell her how great her parents were.[/say]” She offered.
Too soon, however, she was shaking the little rattler in front of the child, her hand shaking ever so slightly and she silently thanked the gods that Remi hadn’t seen it as he spoke to something else? Her eyes lifted and she spotted a curious creature approach with wariness in its gaze. Remi spoke sternly to it, and Rexanna’s gaze lifted to him at that point with so many questions on her lips. “[say]Is that… A dragon?[/say]” She asked, almost hushed and bewildered. She’d only ever heard stories, seen illustrations in books of what they may have looked like. But she never knew they existed.
But Remi laughed, and spoke of Aoife and Rexanna found her gaze dancing back to the child as she shook the rattle a bit more trying to see if she’d grasp onto it and shake it, too. For a moment, Rexanna wasn’t sure what she could do with a child this young, and so with gentle soft hands she reached out toward Aoife’s hand with the rattle in one and nothing in the other and showed her how she might grip it. All the while, she listened to Remi and laughed quietly along with him.
“[say]No, I never met Vanya unfortunately.[/say]” She said quietly, but as she thought of Ronin, she glanced back up to Remi with a small crooked smile. “[say]I never officially met Ronin either. But the two of them certainly made a gorgeous child.[/say]” She said with a small nod, looking back to Aoife and reaching out to feel the softness of her dark curls when she noticed the stars in her eyes. “[say]Her… eyes?[/say]” She stuttered for a moment, taken a bit aback and looking to Remi with questioning eyes. Her hand still trembling, but despite her anxiety toward this she knew she needed it. And gods was she trying.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-22-2019
When she gets older. At first Remi wanted to shake his head, as if that would never happen. The alchemist couldn't imagine the star-eyed bab as anything but a baby. That she might have an entire life to lead that would never include Ronin ... it...strangely, it hadn't really occurred to him in a real sense. [say]"Well as long as no more of my memories are taken, I should be able to manage that."[/say] Remi replied with a dry smile and slight shake of his head.
Glancing over towards the ever-sulky Sugar, Remi grinned and nodded. [say]"Yes, that was nearly my reaction to her the first time as well. Ronin rescued her egg from a pool and she is what hatched out of it. I am not sure what she will do now but...she seems to content to stay."[/say]
[say]"Ahh."[/say] Remi hummed sadly. Back in Northaven there really wasn't anyone unfamiliar with Ronin. And Vanya? Well...the Hali's made quite the splash everywhere that they went as well. That Rex hadn't had the pleasure of actually meeting either of them wounded Remi in ways he didn't really understand, other than to feel and immense sort of darkness creeping through his bones.
[say]"A blessing? from Safrin I believe. Before LongNight Safrin gave Ronin a vial for Vanya to drink ... to protect the baby. I am not sure if Safrin knew what would happen to Vanya but, Aoife was indeed born without harm. Now she has stars in her eyes..."[/say] Pausing, Remi looked down at Aoife with a wistful sigh. Whether the stars were a momento of Safrin, or some chilling reminder of where the girl's parents were, Remi wasn't sure.
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-23-2019
Despite the fact that Remi might not want to hear of Aoife growing older, it was a reality that he’d likely see. But his comment panged a sorrow deep within her, and she found a frown grow on her face briefly before she looked to Remi and replaced it with a solemn smile. “[say]I’ll help you remember.[/say]” She said quietly, before an idea struck in her mind. “[say]Maybe you could make a journal? Write everything that happens there and if the gods act again against you, you’ll be able to read what you’ve gone through?[/say]” She poised the question to her with a tilt of her head.
Perhaps it would hurt. But it might answer questions too.
But they were talking about the dragon now and Rexanna was intrigued by that as well. She’d only ever seen illustrations, and she let out a quiet laugh at the start of Remi’s response. She imagined it would be anyone’s response. “[say]What did Ronin think when she hatched and was a dragon of all things?[/say]” She questioned, wondering if Ronin had the very same idea run through his head. But at least she was staying – a small constant in a world of uncertainties. That in itself was a small blessing, Rexanna thought.
As she thought of it, Remi echoed her thoughts in a different way. A blessing from Safrin, and Rexanna nodded quietly. Looking back to the starry eyed child, she rested the rattler in her lap and allowing her to play with it if she wanted to before she stood and looked to Remi – stepping over to him and hoping to embrace him in a tight hug. The kind of hug he seemed like he needed now. “[say]I’ve never met Safrin, but I hope she lets them see Aoife from wherever they are.[/say]” She spoke quietly, eyes only on Remi, knowing how painful the conversation had to be.
But she had to say it.
“[say]I know they’d be so proud of you Remi, for all of this.[/say]”
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-23-2019
Remi couldn't help the small chuckle that bubbled through his lips, despite what a good suggestion it was. Tilting his head back, the alchemist closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head, eventually ruffling his fingers through his curls. [say]"I should, yes. What a world we find ourselves in, where I have to do such a thing..."[/say]
With a strained sort of smile, Remi shrugged. All this talk about her had coaxed Sugar from her den, and she lurked just behind the shadow-line watching them with precise blue eyes. [say]"I think he knew, actually. He said he knew right away that she was a she...I think..."[/say] Closing his eyes for a moment, he could distinctly feel Isla. But then again he did already know what she was. [say]"I think it is the bond, perhaps."[/say] With a low and rather sad trill, Sugar snorted and disappeared back into what was basically a glorified blanket fort frozen together.
Happy to accept, both because Rex was female but also because he did really need a hug, Remi first was simply content to just be hugged. He leaned his head against her shoulder, sighing into the embrace. Tears blurred and burned as the alchemist took a ragged breath, reaching his arms out to curve around his friend, drawing her nearer. [say]"I took her to see the stars that night.."[/say] He whispered, his voice entirely without any of the laughter and boyishness that so typified his personality.
[say]"I do not want them to be proud...I just want them here."[/say] He added hopelessly, his fingers gently pressing into her shoulders as tears spilled down his cheeks.
RE: under the same sun - Rexanna - 03-23-2019
Rexanna nodded to his response, agreeing that it was a strange world. And she wondered what Remi had continued to do that upset the gods so much. Here she was, with someone who’s life had been torn apart by them over and over again while she dated another that tempted all of their furies. And Bastien had only been changed into an old man. She felt quietly sick to her stomach for a moment at the things the gods had done – and yet Frey had still blessed her, and Safrin had blessed this child.
She couldn’t make sense of it all.
But she glanced toward the den of the dragon when Remi spoke of Sugar again, noticing the dragon wasn’t inside like before. Somehow, Rexanna wasn’t worried. In fact, her eyes shifted to Remi again as she spoke of Vanya and Ronin in the stars, as she turned to her friend and embraced him tight and let him cry if he needed to. Her hands rubbing soft circles on his back with his shuddered breathing. Her throat grew tight as he whispered that he had taken her to the stars that very same night.
She had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from crying for her friend, for his friends that she had never met but heard so much about. For the child, that like her, had to grow up without their true parents. But as Remi continued to speak, and wrapped his arms tight around her, she tightened her own arms around him and pressed a bit harder in her soothing circles. “[say]I know.[/say]” She murmured to him, pressing her face into his shoulder and closing her eyes. “[say]It shouldn’t have happened this way.[/say]” She acknowledged sadly.
She wondered if Ronin knew what would happen if things went bad. If he had thought far enough to see that if Ronin had died that Remi would take his place to raise his child. And well… What if the both of them died? What then? She hoped Ronin knew it would destroy his friend, too, and so many that didn’t really know him. She held him close and let him cry if he needed to, inhaling deeply against him as she fought her own tears for her friend’s terrible loss. But she couldn’t say anything else. There was no way to bring anyone back from the dead.
There was no way to stop their attempt on the Spire.
It just simply was.
And it killed her to see Remi like this, poised with more than one life changing events that should have never happened to him. And she hurt, so very deeply, for him.
RE: under the same sun - Remi - 03-24-2019
Leaning down, Remi placed his forehead against Rex's shoulder, letting silent tears slip against her shirt as his borrows furrowed in an anguished expression of why?. Why prefacing a thousand unsaid questions the all pointed to and demanded an answer to fill the hollow void that Ronin's death had torn in the alchemist.
Wrapping his arms around her slender frame, Remi shook his head against her. [say]"Are they saying now we should not have attacked the demon? "[/say] He whispered, pulling back to stare into her calming oceanic stare. The skin around his eyes were red from the tears, making the paleness of his verdant stare somehow seem all the greener for his sadness. Remi had heard whispers of it as he had left, and Vai had brought word of it as well. But that had been days ago.
Were things better or worse now? Was Ronin's death just a fuel for some fire that in life, he would have laughed at and ignored? Were they just using him to win a war?