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+---- Thread: scratch, kick, let gravity win (/showthread.php?tid=2705)
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-03-2020
Sunjata listens intensely to what Nate has to say, every stumble and every blip, realizing where the road is now heading – what other dark tunnels they’re heading down. And honestly? He hadn’t lost Saartjie to anything other than the portal that had brought him here. And when it came down to it? He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like – doesn’t want to find out.
When Nate’s gaze finally lands on Sunjata, his own attention is acutely drawn, some deep intensity to it that takes away the pain within his wrists in favor for this sheer focus as the Ascended’s face shifts. Regardless of how Nate feels about it, Sunjata thinks that he still did something. He could have sat idly by, watched without making an attempt – and even though the attempt had been for nothing for his brother in the end, it had still helped him out. Helped perhaps show his brother that he was trying.
That’s the key word at the end, isn’t it? The idea of trying your best regardless of the outcome because at least you tried? He sits up a small amount to focus on Nate a bit more, to pull the other man into him and give him some sort of support, one hand to come up and brush away the dark tousled hair, gaze flickering along the sharp panes of the man’s face. “[say]You tried, Nate.[/say]” He offers quietly, voice a deep rumble. “[say]That counts, you know? Getting into the medical program, doing whatever you could. Even… If it wasn’t enough, you still made an attempt. And that matters.[/say]”
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-03-2020
All at once, Nate knows what was wrong with his attempt at comforting words earlier. It's not quite enough, the kind of thing you think you should say, instead of letting someone wallow, or be upset. Not that the attempt isn't appreciated, but its the touches that really help, the way he is dragged up into a closer embrace. It's telling that he doesn't try to shift or pull away, that he leans into the hand so close to his face, even as his eyes dip in something that feels an awful lot like shame.
[say]"Thank you."[/say] Nate sighs the words softly, then snorts. [say]"It's better than the nothing everyone else did, I guess. It still... I don't think it will ever feel like enough, but... nothing can change what happened now."[/say] One of his arms shifts, moving up so it's curled around the back of Sunjata's neck, a perch to hang off, close enough that an idle finger can stroke along the attuned's cheekbone. [say]"It was kinda nice to come here. Like starting all fresh, so I can step in a different tangle of shit."[/say] It's not clear if Nate's just pressing the subject along to move away from it, or if something has genuinely lifted off his back, but he's done with the sad sack topic for now. As much as he possibly can be at least. Whether it stuck or not wasn't up to him.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-03-2020
It’s not meant to be shameful, and in fact just the ability to tell Nate what has occurred is more than enough for Sunjata. A little bit of a release, a sort of explanation to why he is the way that he is, the fucked up bits and all. But as Nate continues, it shifts something within him, holding him closer now in such a way that almost eases the burden they both carry, only for a small amount of time. But time well spent, nonetheless.
He hums a little bit in response to Nate, agreeing that nothing ever quite felt like enough. And he shifts to let Nate curl his arm around the back of his neck, slipping through rogue edges of dark curled hair before his hand meets a stubbled cheek. There’s a small hum of laughter that tries to bubble its way through Sunjata’s throat as he shifts his head to look at Nate, almost scrutinizing in a way. “[say]What a different tangle of shit it is, too.[/say]” A crooked smile crosses his face to that, shoulders rising and falling in a shrug.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-03-2020
Just like that, things have lightened, the conversation shifting to something easier, though there's a new understanding between them, a closeness that is honestly a little bit unexpected. Fingers curl around a stray coil of hair, tugging gently as chuckles bubble between them. [say]"Different, yea, but... better. I'd rather be here than back home."[/say] Though Nate didn't bother clarifying whether he meant here as in Caido, or here as in on this specific place on the couch, in the guilds basement.
Nate hums, tilting his head to the side. [say]"This is... probably a loaded question, but... do you regret it? This... this."[/say] His head dips to gesture between them, a brow lifting as he tips his chin back up, the look coolly curious.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-04-2020
He leans into the touch easily, gently, a small subtle way of acting as though everything is okay when they hadn’t just delved into their fucked up pasts. A bandaid to cover it up and pretend it doesn’t exist. And when Nate speaks next, it’s granted another huff of amusement, some quiet chuckle back to Nate. “[say]Me too.[/say]” No longer on the run, no longer having to hide. His sister isn’t here, sure, but it was what it was.
But then Nate’s tilting his head to the side and Sunjata’s gaze slips along Nate’s face with a quiet raised brow and meets the electric blues. “[say]Regret? No.[/say]” He answers simply, a small half smirk crossing his face. “[say]Not at all. Do you?[/say]” Another loaded question. Nate had already done so much for Sunjata – opened his eyes in a variety of ways, got him out of his marriage, given him the support he needed when he was determined to self-destruct.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-04-2020
Nate really isn't sure what answer he's going to get. He can make a pretty educated guess, just going by the position they're in, the number of times they're been in this position at this point. But, Nate has done this exact thing, with a lot of different people, and they've always ended bad. Though, usually by his own hand. This hasn't quite gone that way yet. Maybe it won't.
The answer that comes does make him him smirk, endlessly self satisfied. [say]"Not at all? Pretty confident."[/say] He laughs, then shakes his head. [say]"Why would I regret it?"[/say] He shoots back, not really a real answer, yet. [say]"I'm having fun, aren't I? And I'm getting to spend my time with someone..."[/say] He hums, and let's his eyes slip along Sunjata's body, the parts of it he can see.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-04-2020
Sunjata, at the same time, has certainly been the one to bounce around between beds – to avert his attention to a different expanse on varying nights where loneliness settled too heavily. It was easy in Dorobo, Saartjie would do her own thing and he would do his own. But the day he’d arrived in Caido had been leaving one random bed, slipping toward the kitchen and suddenly there in the Labyrinth.
This, however, he had done it a few times already within the bar despite settling down upon occasion, finding those people that cling along the back of his mind that keep him drifting back. Nate’s one of those now, a constant in a world he’s drifted chaotically in. So when he speaks, that smirk that suggests he’s satisfied and content with the answer, Sunjata snorts a breathy response back. “[say]Someone who’s also having fun?[/say]” He replies perhaps a bit smugly, shaking his head and chuckling lighter. “[say]No complaints, Nate.[/say]” He hums with some air of a challenge, a smirk curling along his lips.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-04-2020
Someone who's also having fun. Nate laughs brightly at that, his hand moving from Sunjata's cheek to the back of his head, like he's planning on pulling him in for a kiss. Which... maybe. In a moment. [say]"We can go with also having fun. I was going to say... handsome, maybe. Interesting, maybe. Fun."[/say] He leans in, twisting so their noses are almost touching. So their lips are almost touching.
Then he laughs again, and kisses the tip of Sunjata's nose instead, bumping their foreheads together as he pulls away again. [say]"You'll be complaining about me soon enough. And I'll be here, ignoring it."[/say]
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-04-2020
“[say]Oh?[/say]” Sunjata begins with a slight smirk crossing his face as Nate encroaches, head nearing his in such a way he could absolutely cross the difference. A breathy laugh leaves him then as he considers. “[say]Maybe interesting? I’m hurt.[/say]” He raises a challenging brow before Nate kisses his nose and continues and Sunjata fights to keep from rolling his eyes.
“[say]I’d like to test that theory. What is there to complain about?[/say]” Another smirk, a dip of his head toward Nate in an attempt to brush a kiss along the Ascended’s jaw as he withdraws. “[say]Whether I’m ignored or not.[/say]”
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-04-2020
[say]"Maybe interesting."[/say] Nate repeats, his smirk growing into pure glee. [say]"I can't say for sure yet, I've been burned by pretty boys with dark pasts before."[/say] The teasing tone all but drips off his words, before the jokes turn back towards him, and Nate shrugs easily, humming.
The kiss on his jaw is leaned into though, Nate turning at the last moment to press their lips together for real, for a moment. [say]"Y'know, I've never really listened to them. Something about not taking anything seriously, about breaking hearts."[/say] He rolls his eyes, tucking any real insecurities away as he jokes, as he tries to get the other man to laugh along with him.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-04-2020
“[say]Pretty boys with dark pasts.[/say]” He repeats and trails off with a slight raise of his brow, clearly amused as it feeds that ego of his. Nate could certainly compliment him all day and Sunjata wouldn’t mind. It grows that smirk of his crooked as he manages a playful placement of his lips against the strong jawline, only to have Nate shift to accept it more fully on the lips – much to Sunjata’s amusement.
His head tilts back a small amount and he peers at Nate with a small smirk. “[say]Ah, a heart breaker? Well I suppose we’ve got that in common at least.[/say]” A wink to Nate for that – a wider toothy grin given as his hand lifts to tangle in Nate’s dark hair.
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-04-2020
Nate grins against the other man's lips, so much that it almost makes the kiss not worth it, and pulls back, winking as he does. [say]"Yea. Sound like anyone you know, Sunjata?"[/say] More teasing, more ease piling on top of the struggle of a conversation from before. It's a different kind of closeness for Nate, but no less important, really. What's the point in having a stunted relationship with someone?
[say]"You break hearts huh?"[/say] Nate's smile grows endlessly fond, his head shifting to move with the fingers tangling in his hair. [say]"I would never have guessed. I thought that marriage was the real deal."[/say]
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Sunjata - 04-04-2020
A snort leaves Sunjata and he squints at Nate as he pulls away, a sharp bit of amusement crossing his face with the question tossed back at him. “[say]Hmm, I don’t know.[/say]” He trails off, making a show of thinking about everyone he knows and who might fit that persona. “[say]Ronin…?[/say]” He offers a toothy grin to that, a wink playfully sent in his direction. Though he squeezes Nate a small amount with the answer as if he’s just teasing and joking the man.
The heartbreaker comment though has him chuckling lightly once more, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “[say]Oh? Really? The bride crying at the wedding saying she didn’t want to marry me was so convincing?[/say]” A bounce of his eyebrow before shaking his head. He flexes his hand to reveal the scar placed along his palm he’d received that night. “[say]Would’ve counted it as real in Korofi. Only difference being I’d get to fuck whomever I wanted.[/say]”
RE: scratch, kick, let gravity win - Nate - 04-04-2020
Nate makes a face at the suggestion of Ronin, his nose wrinkling. [say]"He's... less my type."[/say] Honestly, Nate isn't sure why that is, maybe the proximity to Sam, and one of his exes ex. It doesn't matter anyway, he's got the real answer wrapped in his arms, wrapped aorund him, joking about stupid shit on the aftermath of trauma. [say]"You missed out on the prize."[/say] An exaggerated frown crosses his face, lasting only a moment before he's grinning again.
[say]"It was just such a mess, from the very beginning. What idiot even thought of it?"[/say] Another bright laugh, which only grows as Sunjata rolls his eyes, though Nate manages to stifle his giggles to look at the exposed palm, the scar on it. [say]"That's all it takes, huh?"[/say] He asked curiously, reaching out to cover the attuneds palm with his own, like an incredibly slow motion high five.