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+---- Thread: we knew it would come to this (/showthread.php?tid=6337)
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
Tobi's smile is enough to make Finn's reluctant acceptance about the hot chocolate worthwhile, and he busily digs his way through the cream so he can create a better position to drink said chocolate. Out here in the fresh air beneath a starless sky, Finn feels less caged than he has done ever since receiving Cian's letter. And he's busy fighting off his subconscious as it tries to remind him that this is the last time he'll be so relaxed for a while when Tobi injects a good dose of adrenaline into him with her remarks.
[say]"What?"[/say] Finn blurts, almost inhaling some of the hot chocolate and having to press a napkin to his lips to stop from choking and/or spraying it everywhere. [say]"He did?"[/say] he manages at last. [say]"Gods, I... wait, what?"[/say] Words like you handled it really well do not often come hand-in-hand with the Spyglass, and so he can do little more than stare at Tobi for a moment.
[say]"Does he still want us to be married?"[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
Tobi's smile is small and secretive as Finn chokes. [say]"Of course he did. We talked about it almost immediately after you two came home from your walk."[/say] Finn had gone back to his office to finish cleaning of course, which was when Ever, predictably, had recited nearly everything the pair had talked about. [say]"Yeah, you did. You were kind and understanding of his feelings, but honest. I think he really appreciated it."[/say]
Pulling in a breath through her nose, Tobi lets her head tilt from side to side as she thinks. [say]"Yes and no. I think because Ever is so different from the other children at school in so many ways he's hyper-aware and vulnerable to these sorts of things. I think he would like us to be married if only because then he'd have something unchanging in his life that he feels is right."[/say] Tobi's smile is understanding and perhaps a touch sad. [say]"I told him that no matter what both you and I would always love him just the same, and that nothing could change that. I also pointed out that marriage couldn't protect against death, and so if he wanted reassurances we would all always be together, that wasn't it."[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
The conversation has taken a turn, however good a turn it might be, and Finn feels his cheeks heat up as he contemplates his hot chocolate and listens to Tobi's appraisal of the advice he's given their son. And it's a relief honestly, even if he hadn't been expecting a run down of it, and he shifts a bit on the bench and takes another sip of his drink. [say]"I am glad,"[/say] he murmurs. [say]"I know we are not... I know it isn't the sort of family most would imagine. But it doesn't mean he is any less loved."[/say]
Rolling his cup between his hands now and gazing down into the cream as it melts slowly into the drink, Finn furrows his brow. [say]"Will he be alright, do you think?"[/say] he asks. Finn has already expressed his worries that their son will end up like him, and to know that he's already struggling... it cuts deep, even if the Spyglass tries not to show it.
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
I know we are not.. It's a good thing that October is who she is, lest that not-quite-finished thought cut her right to the bone. Instead, she simply bites at a chunk of salt she'd been sucking on that the tangy brightness of it might overload whatever emotions might have tried to come. [say]"Well, and if it isn't the sort of family most would imagine, maybe they just need to be a bit more creative."[/say] Tobi says with a shrug.
[say]"Of course he will."[/say] The doctor replies immediately, and though Finn's eyes are on the creamy mess that is his melted toping, Tobi's eyes are fully on him. [say]"Children are as resilient as they can be cruel. Even if we were married, the children at school would find someone else to tease him about. They always do."[/say] Such was the nature of children. [say]"Luckily Ever is kind, like you."[/say] She adds, nudging one of Finn's feet with her own. [say]"And strong."[/say] Knowing how Finn was about compliments, Tobi holds back the rest of what else she might have added in favour of looking toward the other stalls.
[say]"Shall we? Now that our cups aren't overflowing?"[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
At times Finn would love not to be who he is - or even to be the person he had been this time last year, teasing himself out of his shell and challenging the things he had assumed to be gospel. Alas, things change and here he is. But he and Tobi are still sneaking out for a stroll at Longnight and getting hot chocolate together, so perhaps there's more to optimism than Finn thinks. The conviction in the doctor's voice has him glancing up, his stormy eyes a mixture of shocked and hopeful, and he tries and fails to stop his smile.
[say]"He is smart, too. And if he is strong then he gets it from you,"[/say] he murmurs, like one compliment can't be given without another in return. [say]"...I am glad, that he went and spoke to you. I think that if he can speak to both of us about the things that are bothering him, then we must be doing something right."[/say]
And so, rising to his feet and stirring the rest of the melted cream into his hot chocolate, Finn reaches out to offer Tobi his hand. [say]"That sounds nice. Let's go."[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
[say]"Is that so?"[/say] Tobi wonders mischievously, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Finn's compliment. [say]"I think we are. Life is hard and things don't always go as expected...Ever is learning that early, which isn't so bad. Better he learns these lessons when his troubles are still small and manageable and we're around to help him through."[/say]
Placing her mittened hand back into his, Tobi rises but doesn't lead or let herself be lead. Instead, she's left her hot chocolate on the bench and reaches to take Finn's from his hand that she might similarly set it down. [say]"I'm going to ask you something, and of course you can say no and I won't be upset."[/say] Such preludes likely don't help Finn's anxiety, but as she always had done with him, Tobi made sure consent was at the forefront of everything (even to her/their detriment).
[say]"With you going away.."[/say] Dejavoux strikes, and Tobi remembers whispering Finn's name from beneath his arm on the couch in her office, before asking precisely the same question she was about to now. [say]"...can I kiss you, Finn? I'd like a good memory of you, so that[/say] (our bed?) [say]the bed won't seem so lonely when you're gone."[/say] Her cheeks have predictably flushed as she turns her face up toward his, feeling suddenly small and a little silly wrapped up like a marshmallow in her big jacket.
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
It's sad that Ever has to learn those lessons at all, but Finn can do little more than nod to Tobi, because of course she's right. He'd also had to learn these things early, but it hadn't been with small troubles and the protective umbrella of two parents. And so the Spyglass forces himself to relax again, conjures a smile onto his lips and nods again, more firmly this time. [say]"Then I will make sure we help him through this as well. I shouldn't even be gone for very long, it just... it feels like I will, because of last time."[/say]
Speaking of last time, and the similarities between now and then, the Spyglass can only blink as Tobi reaches out to tease his chocolate out of his hand. He's about to protest that he was quite enjoying it now that he's actually started to drink it, but Tobi beats him to the punch and renders him somewhat speechless. [say]"Uh..."[/say] he begins with predictable confusion, unsure what request is about to bounce his way.
As it happens, though, it's a request that, whilst completely unexpected, has a warmth blooming in his chest and a deeper shade of pink flushing his cheeks. [say]"Oh. I... I mean, yes. Yes, of course you can."[/say] Except she won't get the chance, unfortunately, because Finn is the one instigating the kissing, and he carefully tilts up her chin to lean in and taste the sweetness of her lips.
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
Standing slightly on her toes as her chin is directed up, one of Tobi's hands finds the shelf of Finn's shoulder to aid with balance. They both taste of salt and caramel with latent blooms of chocolate. It's a very un-Finn taste, but Tobi won't hold that against him. Trying her best to simultaneously ingrain the sensation of neatly-trimmed bristles against her upper lip, of how warm his lips are compared to the chill in the air, and how she can feel nothing else other than the sensation of him kissing her thanks to their thick jackets while enjoying the moment, Tobi finds her arm reaching around his neck ever so slightly that she might prolong the end of this, their first kiss since Ever had been born.
Warmth fills her as if this kiss had been the shot of whiskey missing from their drinks, and as their lips part but before she sinks back off of the balls of her feet, Tobi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath feeling suddenly exquisitely sad and yet full of joy.
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
It is their first kiss since just before Ever was born, since he'd been capable of that sort of closeness after his visit to Frey, and it sets a fire in the pit of Finn's stomach that he can't quite put out. As Tobi's arm slips around his neck the Spyglass finds himself stepping closer, closing the distance between them as best he can with their winter clothing getting in the way. And in truth he doesn't want to stop - he can't even remember why they did stop, other than the introduction of a newborn into their lives.
That, he supposes, is as good a reason as any. But Ever isn't a newborn any more, and as Tobi parts from him with a smile that he wishes was happier, Finn speaks through numb lips. [say]"I don't know if that is enough,"[/say] he admits, unsure where the words are coming from but feeling them tumble out anyway. [say]"I... I don't know if I can leave with just one kiss to stop you from feeling lonely."[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
Sinking down but with one arm still around his neck, her fingers curling against the back of his jacket, Tobi swallows with some effort as her body desperately tries to recallibrate after this unexpected rush. The jittery feeling of needing to move, or run is back and she nearly vibrates with it despite how hard she tries to remain still. [say]"Maybe a body pillow? Or...a heating blanket?"[/say] She suggests absently with a small laugh, her dark eyes searching his face for anything—anything—else to hold onto. It's hard to pin down just how they came into each other's lives, to trace back the moment Finn had fallen asleep to fairy tales on her couch and explain how that had led to this, but it had and though Tobi would never tell Finn not to leave, she suddenly very much doesn't want him to go.
[say]"I still like you, Finn."[/say] Tobi whispers. [say]"And I'll miss you when you're gone."[/say] And that's why her smile was both joyful and sad; because other than her son and her father, Finn meant the most to her than anyone else ever had.
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
[say]"Maybe,"[/say] Finn says, a whisper of amusement threading through his voice. [say]"Would either of those things really work?"[/say] A master of insomnia, there is very little that Finn hasn't tried in terms of getting a good night's sleep or feeling comfortable in a bed. As it so happens, he hasn't tried a body pillow or a heating blanket, but then again he's not had much trouble dropping off since sharing a bed with Tobi.
Speaking of which...
[say]"I like you too,"[/say] he murmurs, reaching up to let his thumb brush across her cheek. [say]"I never stopped. And I will miss you as well. Especially now that you have just kissed me again."[/say] And what that means and what it has kindled within him has almost a mischievous twinkle lighting up in his eyes. [say]"Do you still want to go and look at those stalls...?"[/say] Or do you want to kiss me again?
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
[say]"I'm not sure. But you're big and warm in the bed, so.."[/say] Tobi can hear herself speaking, but really she's lost herself in the blue of Finn's eyes, a blue that in the darkness of LongNight seems nearly black. Nearly. Rather like the way her room seems nearly black in the hours around midnight, but never completely dark. Not with Finn beside her.
There are grand gestures and declarations, and then there are Finn gestures; the brush of his thumb against Tobi's cheek communicates more than some men are able to after giving entire speeches, and it has her knees growing rather weak in a way that makes her want to laugh. [say]"Except...you kissed me."[/say] Tobi points out, her mischief much more apparent than his in the crinkles now deepening by her dark eyes.
[say]"We can..."[/say] The doctor replies agreeably enough though makes no attempt to move out of his arms. Just now so long as it's with Finn, Tobi is happy to do anything he might suggest, although she couldn't be less interested in the various nicknacks and such on offer. Not with Finn's eyes shining like stars that have no competition during the bleakness of LongNight.
RE: we knew it would come to this - Finn - 10-19-2021
[say]"I am...?"[/say] He's learning a lot tonight, it seems; some of it about October, some about himself. Mostly he's learning that the doctor apparently still has the ability to make his cheeks flush and his stomach feel fluttery, and it holds none of the nerves or horror that intimacy usually does for the Spyglass. Especially not after having been as close to Tobi as possible already.
She says she's happy to go and see the stalls and yet neither of them move, and suddenly Finn wants instead to simply turn them around to walk back towards the Tower. His feet are nearly moving, in fact, when he catches her other remark, and Finn lets out a breathy sort of laugh. [say]"Yes, I did,"[/say] he murmurs, as if reminding himself. [say]"I'm sorry - did you want to do the kissing...?"[/say]
RE: we knew it would come to this - October - 10-19-2021
[say]'Well, I didn't want to argue with you before when you said I was the wrong one, but..well you haven't exactly been lazy these past few months."[/say] Finn had never been a small man, more wiry than muscular perhaps, but fatherhood and a season free of trauma had certainly made the Spyglass feel to Tobi a good deal bigger. [say]"So yes. Big and warm."[/say] She repeats, as if it's a compliment.
Grinning more girlishly than she intends, Tobi bites the inner corner of her lip and shrugs. [say]"Well, I did ask if I could kiss you, after all."[/say] She points out reasonably before her smile widens such that she can't speak for a few seconds. [say]"But I don't mind."[/say] Tobi admits. [say]"I quite like when you kiss me."[/say] There had never been an abundance of Finn kisses, but Tobi was quite sure that it wasn't just their scarcity that made her heart flutter so dramatically. If he kissed her good morning every day from now on, she was quite sure she'd still feel butterflies. Indeed, just the thought of Finn rolling over to press his lips against hers and whisper good morning, was enough to make her breath catch in her throat.
[say]'Our...drinks will get cold, if we stand here much longer.'[/say] Tobi points out sensibly if only because their jackets were keeping several inches between them, and the plaza was slowing beginning to fill.