In the depths, even in the maelstrom of her misery, hands that have labored and clung to life through every loss dig their nails into the soil and begin to sow. Seeds of change, protection, defenses. Things people would frown and clutch their hearts to hear or consider, implying she should move on, move forward, instead of sacrificing such things. But as she walls up her heart she vows it; no more. No more love, no more attempts at family, no children.
No more.
She can’t take any more.
She has the family she needs, far more than she’d ever anticipated having again. Those people are planted firmly within the boundaries of the defenses she builds around herself, impenetrable as they are. Nobody can enter - but nobody can leave, either.
As Deimos imparts every name, every reason to stay, she nods faintly against his chest. He doesn’t need to say his own name. Their closeness is a foregone conclusion, an inevitability. He will be hers until she dies, and she will be his just the same. The different blood in their veins could ever hope to stand between the bond they share; he, above all others but her only remaining child, is reason to continue trying.
“I want to reopen the Academy,” she croaks, all grace and elegance burned to ash in the wake of the most painful rebirth she has ever experienced. “If he was stronger, if he’d had more training…” her voice wobbles and cracks, threatening another round of tears stronger than the silent ones that spiderweb over her cheeks silently. It’s not necessarily a request of her Warden; she needs this, and she desperately needs him to say yes.
No more.
She can’t take any more.
She has the family she needs, far more than she’d ever anticipated having again. Those people are planted firmly within the boundaries of the defenses she builds around herself, impenetrable as they are. Nobody can enter - but nobody can leave, either.
As Deimos imparts every name, every reason to stay, she nods faintly against his chest. He doesn’t need to say his own name. Their closeness is a foregone conclusion, an inevitability. He will be hers until she dies, and she will be his just the same. The different blood in their veins could ever hope to stand between the bond they share; he, above all others but her only remaining child, is reason to continue trying.
“I want to reopen the Academy,” she croaks, all grace and elegance burned to ash in the wake of the most painful rebirth she has ever experienced. “If he was stronger, if he’d had more training…” her voice wobbles and cracks, threatening another round of tears stronger than the silent ones that spiderweb over her cheeks silently. It’s not necessarily a request of her Warden; she needs this, and she desperately needs him to say yes.
Feel the fear and swallow back the tears
Let weakness disappear, there's nobody but me here
Let weakness disappear, there's nobody but me here
