{se} feels like I'm sleepwalking when you're gone

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Even as they both share their unspoken consent in waves, she wonders if this is the right choice. If she should be allowing her heart to lead this soon when it has so often misled her, frequently right into his arms. But she thinks last time, the misleading had been away from him, because it feels like coming home as his hand tangles in her hair and the space between them finally vanishes.

Her heart had split the second she’d left them, but she’d ignored it. She’s tired of ignoring it. She’s tired of not trusting it.

As he leverages forward and halfway over her, she hooks her leg around his hip and revels in the weight of him against her, the way he blocks out the light and the world at large with his shoulders and wings. She doesn’t want to see it, doesn’t want to know anything exists but him. The primordial creature inside her purrs with delight at the showy display, the eclipsing strength that so few people have when compared to her own. Someone who can both contest and protect her. An instinct she’s never had when entangled with him in the past.

Curling her tongue against his, she uses the leverage of her thigh to drag him close and grind leisurely against him, the hand in his shirt collar reaching up to spread across the base of his neck and caress her thumb against the hollow of his collarbone. The other grips his shoulder, content to luxuriate and linger, not rush, but equally wanting him so intensely she can’t bear the thought of waiting any longer. She’s already waited years. She doesn’t want to wait anymore.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide