So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
She held him all the tighter as he reached for her free hand, and she intertwined her fingers with his as he buried his face in her shoulder. It was as natural as breathing, falling back into this rhythm, letting go of her anger in favor of the love she still had for him. It didn't solve their problems, of course, but she was nineteen and naive, and she wanted to believe that loving him was enough to smooth out the rough edges that pricked at the edges of their fragile relationship.
"I wish..." she started to say, but then stopped herself. She was about to say that she wished she'd been there, but she didn't, not really. Her own near-murder had been quite enough violence to last her a lifetime. But even if she didn't wish that she'd been physically there, she did wish she'd been there for him, and that she hadn't been was enough to make her heart ache. "I wish I could've been there for you. As your friend, you know? I just... I wish you hadn't had to go through all of that alone.
"Not that I want to just be friends," she hurried to add, not wanting to give the impression that she wanted to break things off, even though she might have wanted that not so very long ago. "I just - it's hard, sometimes, being together, but also you being my best friend. You're the one I want to talk to and share everything with, but when the thing I want to talk about is us, it's just - I don't know if I'm making any sense," she admitted. "I guess, my point is, no matter what happens, you don't have to face it alone."
As for the rest of it, well, it all seemed so far away in this moment. He'd been gone for ages, yes, but he was here now, and it was so very easy to forget about all of her pain and anger, at least for a little while. She squeezed his hand and leaned her cheek against his head. It might have even been good for them to have some separation to figure things out, had it not been for everything that followed. "I'm sorry, too," she said. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, and that I made you feel like you needed to leave. I'm not upset with you for leaving. I understand why you did. And, honestly, I don't know that you really need my forgiveness, because I think you did the best you could under the circumstances, but I forgive you anyways."
"I wish..." she started to say, but then stopped herself. She was about to say that she wished she'd been there, but she didn't, not really. Her own near-murder had been quite enough violence to last her a lifetime. But even if she didn't wish that she'd been physically there, she did wish she'd been there for him, and that she hadn't been was enough to make her heart ache. "I wish I could've been there for you. As your friend, you know? I just... I wish you hadn't had to go through all of that alone.
"Not that I want to just be friends," she hurried to add, not wanting to give the impression that she wanted to break things off, even though she might have wanted that not so very long ago. "I just - it's hard, sometimes, being together, but also you being my best friend. You're the one I want to talk to and share everything with, but when the thing I want to talk about is us, it's just - I don't know if I'm making any sense," she admitted. "I guess, my point is, no matter what happens, you don't have to face it alone."
As for the rest of it, well, it all seemed so far away in this moment. He'd been gone for ages, yes, but he was here now, and it was so very easy to forget about all of her pain and anger, at least for a little while. She squeezed his hand and leaned her cheek against his head. It might have even been good for them to have some separation to figure things out, had it not been for everything that followed. "I'm sorry, too," she said. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, and that I made you feel like you needed to leave. I'm not upset with you for leaving. I understand why you did. And, honestly, I don't know that you really need my forgiveness, because I think you did the best you could under the circumstances, but I forgive you anyways."
Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore
Sohalia
