Sky above, Earth below, Fire within
Accepting the responsibility with a wry smile, Maea let the subject matter drop. She wasn't convinced that her mind was any better suited to the task than any other - but would not hurt her to at least try. She wanted to be useful anyway; this seemed a better cause than most to apply herself to.
Her promise not to get in the way was easy to make and the hardest thing she'd ever done to keep. Being a bystander to death and tragedy tore at her, so much that she wondered if it would be easier to be in Remi's place. At least accepting the weight of his task had to be better than standing empty handed, with only confused emotion for company as the scene unfolded. The tears glistening on his cheeks afterward suggested otherwise however, and the white haired woman found herself helpless yet again, when the Lullaby could offer nothing but grieved silence in the wake of the grim deed.
If she was bolder, Maea would have reached up to stroke his hair, in the soothing, comforting way she imagined a friend or sister might. But she didn't dare; felt the lack of familiarity like a wall that prevented intimacy no matter how much she wished it to be different. All she had to offer was acceptance; of him, and the Herald they had in common, and of the hopeless tangle of morals and emotions death embodied.
"You know... I've been on all sides of that," she sighed eventually. "I've lost my family. I've seen their ghosts. I've died, and gone where she went - and I've been the one to deal the finishing blow." Memories floated to the surface with each account - the empty house full of blood after a LongNight away from home, dancing with Ludo in her brother's guise one Flowerbirth eve, fading from the world like a shimmer of light over the Archlight ocean, and finally feeling the heart of a Fae peter out beneath her hands, as blood cooled on the skin - and she wondered why she wasn't crying, too.
"Dying is easy. Grieving a natural end is easy too. It's the unfinished life that's hard to bear; the words left unsaid, and deeds left undone. Or so I've found." In truth, it was the half-finished tasks that led to her standing here right now. "Would you... fault someone for returning, for the chance to see those left behind?"
Maea couldn't quite bring herself to look at Remi, afraid of what the answer might be. After going through so much pain to delivery a mercy like this, only to have the soul come traipsing back... And that was without betraying the Old Gods, without turning the back on family and friends and all you had ever believed in.
She wasn't asking for forgiveness, not really. That would be beyond foolish, because Maea couldn't forgive herself. Yet she had to ask. Needed to know the gravity of her sins like someone prodding a bruise to ascertain just how deep the damage went.
Her promise not to get in the way was easy to make and the hardest thing she'd ever done to keep. Being a bystander to death and tragedy tore at her, so much that she wondered if it would be easier to be in Remi's place. At least accepting the weight of his task had to be better than standing empty handed, with only confused emotion for company as the scene unfolded. The tears glistening on his cheeks afterward suggested otherwise however, and the white haired woman found herself helpless yet again, when the Lullaby could offer nothing but grieved silence in the wake of the grim deed.
If she was bolder, Maea would have reached up to stroke his hair, in the soothing, comforting way she imagined a friend or sister might. But she didn't dare; felt the lack of familiarity like a wall that prevented intimacy no matter how much she wished it to be different. All she had to offer was acceptance; of him, and the Herald they had in common, and of the hopeless tangle of morals and emotions death embodied.
"You know... I've been on all sides of that," she sighed eventually. "I've lost my family. I've seen their ghosts. I've died, and gone where she went - and I've been the one to deal the finishing blow." Memories floated to the surface with each account - the empty house full of blood after a LongNight away from home, dancing with Ludo in her brother's guise one Flowerbirth eve, fading from the world like a shimmer of light over the Archlight ocean, and finally feeling the heart of a Fae peter out beneath her hands, as blood cooled on the skin - and she wondered why she wasn't crying, too.
"Dying is easy. Grieving a natural end is easy too. It's the unfinished life that's hard to bear; the words left unsaid, and deeds left undone. Or so I've found." In truth, it was the half-finished tasks that led to her standing here right now. "Would you... fault someone for returning, for the chance to see those left behind?"
Maea couldn't quite bring herself to look at Remi, afraid of what the answer might be. After going through so much pain to delivery a mercy like this, only to have the soul come traipsing back... And that was without betraying the Old Gods, without turning the back on family and friends and all you had ever believed in.
She wasn't asking for forgiveness, not really. That would be beyond foolish, because Maea couldn't forgive herself. Yet she had to ask. Needed to know the gravity of her sins like someone prodding a bruise to ascertain just how deep the damage went.
maea
