thousand times I've fallen

KIADA you kneel and say your prayers with shaking hands and a mouth full of metal but the blood in your mouth tastes nothing She watches him peck and hiss at the healers, watches the way they try before giving up. And she can’t blame them, really. She’s not sure why she’s even trying so hard — but she is. She’s doing whatever she can in order to help him, even if it wasn’t everything, and perhaps that’s the hardest part. She doesn’t know what will help him, she hardly knows what helped her. All those thoughts about how it should have been her when Ru’in died come to mind, and she swallows them down hard. Try to get some rest. You’ll need it. Inevitably for the next attempt — but she won’t leave him alone. Not yet, anyway. She stands from her seat to blow out the candles at the side of her bed, moving to the desk again and keeping one lit, grabbing a parchment and a quill, scribbling down what all had happened today — hoping it makes it to the Grounds, but likely knowing it won’t. nothing, like holy wine as it drips from your tongue during confession and your hail mary feels h o l l o w in the face of all that r e d