Maea
give me shelter, or show me heart
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Maea told him softly, when he apologized. On the contrary, he had done everything right, given her choice, given her the power to decide her own fate, make up her own mind.
Just like he had listened, she did too, and nodded that she did remember he had been an enforcer. And now she was told what that meant, what he had been fighting against. It earned him a tight squeeze of a hug. She wanted to tell him he succeeded in his mission to be a good man. Maea wouldn't be with him if he weren't. There were many shades of scumbag, and he wore none of them. Mistakes, oh yes, and perhaps some would say certain patterns would never cease to repeat themselves - once a cheat, always a cheat - and that she was a fool to stick to a man like that. But what did they know, who only saw pieces of the puzzle, and never cared to look at the whole picture?
But he went on, to talk about Phoebe and the marriage, and this time she knew his reasons for wanting to accommodate the woman. A tangled knot of misunderstandings and differing needs had tied them together, the ghost of a child never born to haunt them both, and in the end... it was severed, along with the marriage vows.
"I've never taken you for anything but honest," Maea said, when he grew quiet again. "Nor have you ever offered me more than you were willing to live up to. The only time I ever felt betrayed was with that ring, and even then... you never said anything. Didn't promise anything... I'm the one who painted it up to mean more than it probably did, when you took it off."
Rubbing the back of her neck, in a gesture picked up from the man beside her, Maea shrugged. Or meant to, but it became more a tightening of the shoulders, a hunching beneath undefined feelings of guilt. "If I ever made you feel like I was forcing you to do anything... I'm sorry. It was never my intention. Quite the opposite, in fact."
Just like he had listened, she did too, and nodded that she did remember he had been an enforcer. And now she was told what that meant, what he had been fighting against. It earned him a tight squeeze of a hug. She wanted to tell him he succeeded in his mission to be a good man. Maea wouldn't be with him if he weren't. There were many shades of scumbag, and he wore none of them. Mistakes, oh yes, and perhaps some would say certain patterns would never cease to repeat themselves - once a cheat, always a cheat - and that she was a fool to stick to a man like that. But what did they know, who only saw pieces of the puzzle, and never cared to look at the whole picture?
But he went on, to talk about Phoebe and the marriage, and this time she knew his reasons for wanting to accommodate the woman. A tangled knot of misunderstandings and differing needs had tied them together, the ghost of a child never born to haunt them both, and in the end... it was severed, along with the marriage vows.
"I've never taken you for anything but honest," Maea said, when he grew quiet again. "Nor have you ever offered me more than you were willing to live up to. The only time I ever felt betrayed was with that ring, and even then... you never said anything. Didn't promise anything... I'm the one who painted it up to mean more than it probably did, when you took it off."
Rubbing the back of her neck, in a gesture picked up from the man beside her, Maea shrugged. Or meant to, but it became more a tightening of the shoulders, a hunching beneath undefined feelings of guilt. "If I ever made you feel like I was forcing you to do anything... I'm sorry. It was never my intention. Quite the opposite, in fact."
watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep
and I'll be yours to keep
