where the shadow ends

temporary fleeting thrills, keep me bruised and make me ill
my skin has lavender tones

He did have multitudes – from nearly dying, his attunement, his failed first marriage, the Longnight where he’d burned down the Rathskeller, to building his own with his first beloved and Melita beside him, to leaving when the ocean called his name, to returning when the Ascended needed as many allies as they could get. It all seemed to blur together at one point or another. But one thing was for certain, the good memories there – however far and few between – outweighed the shittiness of the Grounds. And he doesn’t want to taint that by seeing how much had changed.

So when she says she finds it hard to believe, he hums a note of agreement. “I met Nate there.” As if that was the entire reasoning in and of itself. Yes, the meeting had spurred on so much more bullshit, but that was where he’d met the man that had changed his life, whom he had devoted every piece and being of his soul and body to, even if he’d done it in ways that were stupid and ridiculous. It had all been for him, and by the end of it he’s sure Nate understood that.

“Could go without seeing the Oasis again though.” And he visibly shudders, because that had been the location of the Spite Wedding, among so many other terrible decisions he’d made.

the flood

tell me i'm a loaded gun, tie me up and come undone
i can cover it up, i can cover it up

totally sniped from odd ilu