Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Jude doesn't notice the change in order happening over his head, though he wrinkles his nose slightly, a habitual expression of confusion, when he turns back and Koa's arm is awkwardly elevated with his hand in his hair. It's not something he has enough brain power to question, not when even the brief glimpse of Koa's wolfish grin is enough to make his stomach squirm with both nerves and attraction. Are harder to hide than I thought
He steels himself against it, even if his eyes can't help but follow the line of motion of Koa's arm as he runs his fingers through his hair, immediately shaking that pitiful pillar of resolve. Something like shame creeps into the cracks there at Koa's pointed questioning, and only the arrival of their drinks saves him from quailing entirely. Jude spins on his chair to take the glass into hand, squeezing it in his palm in a fit of emotion he can't place. Irritation? Embarrassment? Whatever it is, he drowns it by downing the entire drink in one go, unable to withhold a small grimace but clearly more experienced at this than the first time in the treehouse.
It has no time to kick in, but it emboldens him all the same. Spinning back toward Koa, Jude licks the remnants of fruit and fire from his lips, something similar in his eyes; set, determined. "It's not," he agrees bluntly. "But who can take care of my first time better than someone experienced? Someone who can make it sweet, make it good even when I fumble?" It's easy to drop his voice and let the words curl on his tongue sinfully even as he plants his feet, hoping his doe eyes do the rest as he looks up through his lashes at the taller man. And maybe it's two mothers who ran brothels but Jude has full faith in his rebuttal, and his chin rises slightly as if daring Koa to disagree. If it wobbles slightly in the next moment, he hopes his forwardness will distract from it.
"I don't have a set type. It changes really. Right now it's..." he tilts his head back and forth as if considering before lifting a hand to hover near the top of Koa's head. "About ye tall. Dark and handsome is a bonus. Out of my league." He tries to smirk, but it's more of a helpless smile because it's nothing if not true. Dropping his hand back down, he turns back to the bar to set his drink aside and tap his knuckles on the surface, signaling for another. If Koa intends to reject him, he wants the liquid courage to deal with it, and it makes it easier to say the rest without looking at him. "But if you're not on the market, I'll take someone similar." Someone he can pretend with, whose eyes he can fall into and forget the stupidity of his own foolish heart.
Maybe I just want to be yours
Yeah, I want to be yours
Yeah, I want to be yours
Jude
