Stop the world

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

Civilization. Familiarity.

Finally.

That first step into Torchline was easy. It was already late by the time he got there, the afternoon bleeding into early evening. Evening, and the end of the work day, meaning hustle and bustle as people prepared to head off to dinner, or do their post-work shopping, or make their way back home. Perfect timing, really, for a heroes return. Indeed, he’d had a whole set of plans drafted in his head, a playbook for how he’d announce himself. He’d be a wounded warrior returning from exile, a martyr brought back from the brink. He’d march straight to the Court and push the doors open, Aragorn style, revealing himself to a waiting Flora who would all but dance for joy. It would be marvelous. There would be tears.

So how is it he’s here, at the base of a volcano, frozen from making his way into town?

That first step into Torchline was easy. The second? Impossible.

Because under the lies he’s told himself, there lingers a dangerous truth. And the truth is, Koa isn’t a hero. He’s not a returning exile, not a martyr, not a saint. He’s a lost boy who let his Heart be kidnapped, a soldier without an army, a failure who looked real evil in the face and learned exactly how weak he truly is. And now as he lingers at Apopo’s base, he finds he is weak again. How is he going to face Flora, when Sohalia is still gone? When his home is lost, the property of a fiend, a false queen he nearly fell to the clutches of himself? How does he call himself a soldier, when when the time came, he couldn’t even lift a blade to defend the things he love?

How can he face Torchline’s families, when he doesn’t have any way to know if his is still alive?

He isn’t sure when he sat down. Isn’t sure when his head dropped into his hands. Pipsqueak curls in his lap, trilling mournfully up at Koa, but the young man doesn’t meet her gaze. Together they sit as the sun descends, two lost children silhouetted against the city. Traitorous tears drip through his fingers, but Koa doesn’t notice. He’s finally made it back to civilization, but all it’s done is remind him how far he is from home.

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat