[SE] A Hazy Shade of Winter

I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see.

Thal's mind was too overwhelmed to pull away from Maea's gentle touch, but the current of thoughts was also too fast to allow her to fully appreciate the Ancient's words. They filtered through her head, barely catching at times. Everything was so numb. Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was her agonizing heart.

She couldn't find the strength to respond when the silence came. What could she say? Maea was right. She'd invited Thal to the Grounds, asking for her assistance in the experiment and her haunting situation. She'd even come here when Thal had asked her to. Overall, Maea was the closest thing to a friend she'd ever had. Yet the way she ignored Thal's inputs and treated her like a spoiled child made her question whether it could be labeled as a friendship. "Tortured" might not be the right word, but "tolerated" sure seemed to fit. She couldn't put into words how she felt, but it didn't ease the aching loneliness she felt.

The fight left her as quickly as it'd come, except now she was shaking, wet with snow and a hollowness in her heart. An empty, heartless grimace appeared on her face. "Yes, ma'am. I'll be better." Despite her words, not a single one rang true. Yet she didn't care right now. Maea had done nothing but proven her point. She was wrong to call her here. They may have clarified their relationship, but it hadn't been through combative bonding. It had been through a revealing of her stance with Maea. This wasn't a friendship. It was an acquaintance. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

Standing slowly on shaking legs, her breathing slowed. Each movement was stiff with ice and detachment. She didn't look at Maea, preferring to look towards the direction of the Refuge. "We should go," she said in a flat voice, taking a sluggish step away.

because all this time the monster has been me.

THALASSA

Maea

And I never know what to say

'Til I'm already walking away

The lack of response left Maea unable to follow Thalassa's trail of thought. All she could see was how the woman stilled and stopped looking at her. The response was lackluster, not at all the outcome she had been hoping for... But she didn't know what else to do. Everything the said was plain truth and her honest thoughts. It was all she had to offer anyone.

"Alright. Would you like some fire to keep you warm?" Retracting her hand, Maea got up on her feet while the other woman stood. Conjuring flames for herself, she waited for an answer before doing anything else. She knew how unpleasant it could be to have things pushed on her that she didn't want. She had no intention of doing it to anyone else.

Wanna punch you in the face

But I won't, but I might, but I won't

I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see.

Her body moved as if through a thick lava, chaos and flames surrounding her, but nothing quite sinking in. She clutched her cold hands to her heart as if to shield it further, and let her dark hair drape around her face like a mourning veil. The snowy landscape felt too loud. Too bright. Thal just wanted to be alone in a dark room. Yet the aching of her body required she rely on Maea's flame to get there.

Nodding silently, she reluctantly stepped closer to the woman while remaining as far away as she could manage. Although they may not be friends at this point, Thal wouldn't ostracize herself from society completely. Plus, Maea had promised to look into her past. Hopefully, it wouldn't result in further heartbreak and disappointment. As she walked with the pale Ancient through the tombs of those long dead and drifts of unsympathetic snow, Thal wallowed in a deeper loneliness than she'd ever felt before.

{FIN}

because all this time the monster has been me.

THALASSA