Top of the World

For a horrified moment Remi envisioned himself holding the little baby Taliesin and then suddenly transforming the bab into a lobster. Shuddering, he gave Ronin a solemn look as he pulled their drunken walk to a halt. Grabbing Ronin he stared deeply if not drunkenly, into Ronin's eyes. "I promise I won't turn your baby into a lobster." Now, it isn't easy to always explain how the mind made the leaps that it did and though there was absolutely no reason to think that Ronin did in fact know what Remi was about to suggest, he did so anyways. "Loren tol' you about tha'?" Remi asked, eyes wide as he stared at Ronin. All the alchemist could think of was that afternoon in the library, standing too terribly close to the slouchy and disheveled librarian and having Loren suggest he conjure them a pegasus to fly around on. "We hadn't figured out the wings yet.." Remi murmured uncertainly and confusingly. Though instead of feeling as he had that day (the urge to shove the librarian against his precious wall of books had never been so strong), now as he remembered it he felt nothing. Blinking slowly, Remi shrugged. "I tol' Loren I loved him regardless of how he felt...an'..he never said it back, so.." Riding off into the sunset was one thing, it just might be that Remi would make that ride alone. Such was the fate of loving a Launceleyn, probably. R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

Remi grabbed hold of him and Ronin returned the gesture, leaving the two men staring intensely at each other in the dark talking about lobsters. "I believe in you," Ronin agreed solemnly. "Keep your lobster-transmogrification powers for the inanimate objects, Remi. With great power an' all that." He nodded. Before he could let the other man go again, the alchemist started rambling on about what Loren had said and something about wings, or whatever, and Ronin blinked at his friend blankly. "He didn't tell me about... anything to do with you guys. Not much anyway." He shook his head, though given what Remi was about to say, that probably wouldn't make him feel any better. Ronin frowned and gave Remi's shoulders a small squeeze. "He's an idiot," he said bluntly. "A stubborn an' infuriatin' an' a know-it-all idiot. He prol'ly thought it, even if he didn't say it..." RONIN JUST WATCH ME

Remi was almost sure that his sudden apology was going to force Ronin to ban him from his child's life. Shockingly though, the hunter seemed to take it in stride for which Remi was eternally grateful. Shifting his hands from the man's shoulders to his biceps, Remi nodded with the sort of genuineness that only comes from being nearly black-out drunk. Leaning forward, eyes wide and bright, Remi nodded firmly "I will not let you down." He vowed with a ridiculous amount of meaning behind the words. Oh. So Loren hadn't said anything. How did Ronin know about the horses then? How confusing this all was. With a shrug, Remi grabbed the hunter by the waist and forced them back onwards again. "It's fiiine." The alchemist mumbled, running a hand through his hair and taking in a large sip of night air. "He doesn' have to. I get it." Then, realizing that Ronin's characterization of the Launceleyn was informed by more than just friendship, Remi shot the hunter a sheepish look. "Guess you'd know, huh." He chuckled stupidly, finding it absurdly funny. R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

Remi said it was fine and he had grabbed Ronin again to let them stumble off towards the Settlement, and the hunter had no reason not to believe him. He glanced lopsidedly across at the alchemist, however, as he continued, Ronin's arm slung back around Remi's shoulders. "You get it...? What's there to get?" he asked, only to start chuckling as well - that was definitely more because the hawk was laughing, however, than because he understood what was going on. "Oh? I mean... maybe? I never told him I loved him, 'cause we never... or at least I didn't think that was..." He shook his head, sounding puzzled. "Maybe that's why things are all weird now. But... he found you, and we're gonna help you feel things again, okay?" RONIN JUST WATCH ME

It was a good thing Remi was drunk and in this strange new world, because presumably under regular circumstances this would be a very weird conversation indeed. He couldn't quite tell if he was getting advice or reassurance from Ronin, or perhaps it was neither. "Wai' so maybe he..?" Had Loren loved Ronin? Was that why things were weird between the two, and why Loren had all but kept his feelings to himself? Oh. Well that was... that was... ..oh. "I wasn't allowed to have these feelings back at home. Why not make it impossible here too." Remi said with a few teetering steps. Luckily the shops of the Settlement had come into view which meant Ronin's guildhouse was nearby. Probably. R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

"Hm? Oh...! Oh no, no!" Of course Ronin couldn't know or say that for sure, but he was nothing but happy for Remi and Loren and whatever their budding relationship might entail (with the small snag of Remi losing his ability to feel for the librarian, of course). He'd do nothing but support it and didn't want to jeopardise it one bit - which made their mutual connection with Loren just a little awkward. He smiled sadly across at Remi, patting his shoulder and weaving through the darkness of the shops as the Settlement blended view aorund them. "That doesn't sound..." He shook his head. "No, Remi. You shouldn't think like that. It's important that you... that you can feel." RONIN JUST WATCH ME

"S'fine." Remi offered with categorical ambivalence. If Loren had loved (did love Ronin) that was fine. Right? That didn't change how Remi felt (or...had felt). It might explain a few things but .. Rubbing at his eyes, Remi sighed. "S'confusing." He concluded eventually. He might have said that relationships were what was confusing, but of course he didn't know if that's what he had with Loren. "Dunno." Swaying as he spoke, Remi gripped the fabric of Ronin's jacket as he squinted into the darkness. Was that the guildhall ahead? It looked like it. Then again, it might have just been a hill. "Maybe it was suppos'd to be one of those blessings in disguises..." Then, deciding that was a stupid thing to say, the alchemist shook his head. "I can't even tell you how this feels Ronin. To want to feel so badly and to just...not." R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

It didn't sound fine, but it did sound confusing - that much Ronin could definitely agree with. Remi swayed and knocked into the hunter, meaning they both ended up doing some ridiculous dance towards what he thought and hoped was the guildhall. It could just be a hill, but he guessed they would find out in just a few more minutes. Providing they didn't end up on the floor. "Maybe," he mumbled. "But I guess until you talk to Loren you can't really know that right?" He frowned as Remi continued, slowing his steps as much to speak with the other man as to try and reset their wonky balance. He ended up standing with his hands planted on the hawk's shoulders, Ronin shaking his head to him. "I can't imagine," he said honestly, casting his gaze off into the dark. To not feel anything for Vanya... but still remember that he should feel something? "I wish I could help more." RONIN JUST WATCH ME

Talk to Loren. Right. Yes. That is what he needed to do, except, "-he can be so hard to find when he wan's to be." The alchemist said with an incredulous chuckle. Never before had he met anyone who could be so invasive in his life, and then suddenly gone when he was needed elsewhere. Not a selfish man nor a particularly needy one, even Remi was having trouble reconciling the normal route relationships usually followed with the broken path he and Loren were walking. Not really noticing that Ronin had stalled until Remi came to a clunky halt, staring starry-eyed at Ronin in the darkness. "I just... passion and need and desire it said. But that's what it took. How am I s'pose to come back with that?" Letting his head topple sleepily to the side, Remi shrugged into Ronin's hands. "If I bring say...you 'n Vanya, and it doesn't work? What if you lose how you feel too? I can't do that. And how'mi s'posed to feel all those things without Loren?" Remi's mind briefly flickered to Ianto and he swallowed guiltily. "Woulnd't it be cheating if I did?" He asked his friend in earnest. Maybe cheating was the wrong word since he and Loren weren't together, but certainly he'd feel some way about it if Loren was with someone else. Or ... maybe right now he wouldn't feel anything, but anyone else surely would. R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

"Try the lib'ry," Ronin murmured, "or the... Anthenamum, I think it's called here." He gave a sage nod and smiled to Remi, as though it would really be that easy. If he could just find Loren and talk to him maybe this could all work out. Maybe he'd fall for the librarian all over again and they would never have to worry about this deity. He sighed at the alchemist's suggestions, though he would certainly bring it up with Vanya if he had to. (In his currently inebriated state, bringing that to her sounded like a fantastic idea, in fact). Arching an eyebrow, Ronin shook his head uncertainly. "I dunno, Remi," he confessed. "Did they take the feelin's for Loren or the feelin's in general? I don't... it really feels like somethin' you two should work through together..." Patting his shoulders, Ronin stumbled forward again, pleased to find that the growing shadow before them was, in fact, the guildhall. RONIN JUST WATCH ME

"mmm." Remi mmmmm'd in agreement, or as close to agreement as he could come given that he didn't really understand the word that Ronin had said. Though it wasn't surprising that if there was a library here that Loren would be in it. "Yeah. I will. He found me at my shop so I just.." Trailing off he gave another of his slouchy shrugs. He just what? Thought Loren should do a bit of the chasing since that's all Remi had had to do? No..that wasn't quite right. Though the fact that the Launceleyn had only come by once and had kept his location relatively veiled was a bit concerning. Or a sign. Or whatever. "uihhh." Remi closed one eye thoughtfully and stared up. Whoa the sky was big. And dark. And vast. And...spinning? Lurching after Ronin, Remi yawned. "I was thinkin' abou' Loren at the time so I thin' that's how they knew to take it? But ... I mean...I don' feel that way for anyone else, so I don' know?" Oh look. The guildhall. How lovely. What great adventurers the drunken pair of them were. "Any monsters I should know abou' befor' we go inside?" R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

"You mean you don't feel passion or nothin' for anyone or anythin' else?" Ronin tilted his head at Remi, stumbling to a stop before the big double doors of the guildhall, half so he could say goodnight to the other man and half so he could see if they were even remotely able to decide what they were to do about Remi's problem. "Surely you felt like that about someone a'fore Loren? Anyone?" He frowned, puzzled. Monsters, though? Ronin smirked and shrugged down at his friend. "Only the ones I've already told you 'bout. You sure you're gonna be okay? I could walk you to your shop." Only then he'd have to walk back here alone, and they'd be here all night accompanying each other. RONIN JUST WATCH ME

Remi shook his head a definitive no. "When..uh...when what you want is illegal..uh.". The alchemist ran a hand backwards-forwards through his curls and swallowed. Remi never had the opportunity to give in to purely pleasure in the past because he'd never allowed himself. Not until Ianto of course, but that had been on the heels of having not eaten anything for days, having a second confrontation with Loren gone all wrong, and been completely sleep deprived. He'd felt a multitude of things with and for the fox that night and the next morning. The only trouble was they'd been swept away to this place and the fox was no where to be found, given Remi no time or resources to think about what had happened between them. "I've been with women but...it isn't the same for me..Loren was basically the first..." No sense mentioning Ianto and muddying the waters further. " Jus' Vanya then?" Remi chuckled with a grin. Vanya seemed to be the very opposite of a monster and so the jest was easily made. "Yeah it's just over-" Spinning around, Remi glared into the darkness. He was pretty sure he left his shop down the road, but now that road looked decidedly empty. Oh well. Tapping his nose, Remi grinned. "Night vision, remember?" Maybe not quite night vision. But he'd manage R E M I I followed your ashes into outer space

"Illegal never stopped me." Ronin smirked and glanced away, rubbing at the back of his head. Then again he'd had the privilege, confidence and silver tongue to get away with his many lies and few tumbles in Northwind, whether with men or women. While he'd hardly say he 'got around', Ronin was certainly not in the same boat as Remi, from what he was hearing from the other man anyway. "The first, huh? Damn... Maybe that's why that god took it." He shrugged his shoulders. "Cuz it was your first feelin's. Dunno if that would stop you feelin' for anyone else though." Again, the only way to remedy that snag would be to talk to Loren. "It's just over night vision? Remi, I don't think that's how it works." Ronin chuckled. "C'mon. You can crash downstairs if you want, an' stagger home in the morning. You dirty stopout." He nodded to the doors and clumsily began to make his way inside. RONIN JUST WATCH ME