In time you'll find, I've got baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

She shook her head, but hugged him tight enough that perhaps he got the pinching all the same. Feeling the rubbery, solid shape of the orca fin had replaced his legs against her skin, she buried her face against his neck. Pressed her lips to the compass, breathing in lungfuls of him.

"No, I do! It's not that. I just... keep thinking, it's too good. Like I'm just dreaming, and might wake up soon. And everything will be the way it was... still trapped behind a wall with nowhere to go, and every day is just a gray void. Not really living, just... waiting to die."

No doubt it would amuse Sunjata to hear he was her craziest kind of fever dream... but it was true. She could not recall ever being this happy, this vibrantly, incessantly alive.

"Do you... think anyone would mind if we built a house of our own?" she wondered, lips whispering over his warm, saltkissed skin with the words. "Near the lighthouse, maybe... we could watch over it, to make sure it never went out." Maea loved the place. The rocky coastline, the hidden caves and coves... and the town wasn't too far away.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

Her face buried into his neck, her lips along the tattooed compass, the assurance in the world that she did want this, that it was simply hard to believe. And honestly? It was, even for him, how fast he had come to care about her, to want nothing to happen to her, the protectiveness that had surrounded her when he’d gotten to know her. The thoughts that went through her mind. No longer was she quiet and afraid of looking at someone too close, not like that day at the river.

She’d come out of her shell, and he’s not sure if he’s had anything to do with it other than give her the attention she deserved. Still, it does spark some arrogance within him at being the best type of dream she could think of — despite the monster people thought he was, despite the blood on his hands increasing with every terrible decision. At least this wasn’t one of them.

He keeps her close, pressing his cheek against her head, locking his arms around her to keep her close as she comments about the lighthouse — a beautiful place with a shrine within it… Perhaps it was a perfect place after all. “I don’t think the Torchliners would care all that much.” He rumbles, amused are the thought. “It sounds like the perfect place, though.” He offers her. Perfect for a restart, a new attempt, for both of them.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

He took her in his arms and held her close. Another thing she loved about him. Maea never had to beg for his attention or comfort, it was freely given. All she had to do was reach out for it, indicate with a gesture however small that she wanted it, and he was there. By her side, holding her, letting her cling to him when she wanted it, when she needed it. Perhaps... that was why she felt the courage to actually relax and show him the parts of her that weren't all that pretty. Not strong, or brave, or secure.

Oh, she was opening up. Perhaps it was a process that had begun even before she met him, but Sunjata's presence definitely helped to speed up the process. Brought her the confidence she so sorely lacked before, the security in knowing that no matter how fucked up and wrong something came out... he would still be there. Like she was for him.

"We could place the house just out of sight from the lighthouse. So people don't feel discouraged from going to the shrine. And they don't trample our doorstep all the time." Her voice sounded a little amused at the idea of strangers crossing through her garden to get there and back. Her garden. She could grow lavender there, and have a small vegetable patch. Maea knew how to grow them and preserve them... and she could probably learn how to cook properly, with enough practice.

"What colors do you like, except blue?" she wondered. Thoughtful, even as she let the tip of her tongue peak out to taste the saltiness of his skin, and trace the lines of the compass.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

A hum leaves him as he considers her, where to place it. Far enough away from the ledge that the house wouldn’t fall in during a mudslide or a storm, far enough away from the lighthouse to not be trampled upon, a place you’d get to if there were a purpose — and he finds that its a nice and quaint idea. Something to call their own, theirs.

He never thought he’d feel the need to settle down, had actively avoided it with Phoebe… But perhaps because that was the idea of children and family that came after that, things he hadn’t wanted. He wanted to venture out, go to his boxing ring, go to his bar, come back beat up and bleeding to relax in a space of his own.

Her question distracts him from nodding along with her in agreement, the feeling of her lips and tongue at his neck grant a series of goosebumps along the skin as he contemplates it. “Green… Purple.” He says somewhat distractedly. His hands trailing along her spine and her sides, to the drying crop top of sorts she wears slipping his hand beneath it to continue their idle strokes.

“What colors do you like?” He hums, turning his head toward her to brush his lips along her ear.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

Blues, greens, purples... Maea smiled. "The same ones," she admitted, quiet against his skin, a hum of amusement as yet again she found similarities between them. "And light. Not just whites, but... light colors. Airy, the way a window is left open and sun shines through. Big windows... Firelight in the evening too." So that shadows could dance in the corners. Goosebumps flared up along her skin, on the shoulders and arms, as his lips brushed over her ear. Her spine arched as his hand found its way up under her shirt, tickling and soothing all at once.

"I'm not.. very good at hosework," she reluctantly admitted, through the pleasant tingles Sunjata's attention spread through her. Thinking of all the chores that inevitably came with a house. A kitchen. "I can cook... but it's not wonderful." Basic stews and soups were her go to, it was hard to fail with those. Just chuck things in, add water and some salt... and it sorted itself out. Unless she somehow managed to burn it. Which happened, on occasion.

One of her arms loosened the grip on him, trailed down his side to where the smooth human skin met the rubbery hide of the orca. Her fingers danced along the seam, fascinated by the differences in texture.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

The same colors, the cooler tones. But where Maea preferred the lighter hues, Subjata had always been partial to the darker colors. The navy blues, the purples of deep space, the vibrant greens of fresh healthy grasses and trees. He hums lightly against her ear with his amusement to it. “I prefer the darks.” He says softly, though it should be expected. His forms were all shades darker than others, and even the brighter ones had their dark points too.

The reluctant admission causes him to smile lightly against her ear, turning his head enough to press a kiss to the column or her neck right below her earlobe. “At the end of the day, it’s just us. I don’t really mind how messy it gets.” It means it was lived in, loved, people were there. Though the mention of cooking has him humming a quiet breathy chuckle against her. “I’ll eat just about anything. But we could always learn together. At the very least if you make something I hate I’ll just go hunt.” A playful tease to her as he nips her earlobe gently, kissing away the sharpness of a fanged bite.

Her hand drifts toward the space the partial shift begins, and the sensation causes him to flick his tail again, letting it settle against the rock. The scars on his body transferring ever so slightly to this orca form, leaving a faint white line that matches where it begins on his hip, through the dark hue of blubber. Likewise, a couple crescent shaped scars are stark against the white of him where his legs would begin.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

Light and dark, similar but different. How fortunate that the world had constructed dawn and dusk for the day and night to mingle, that the sun and moon came together every once in a while, taking turns to eclipse the other, leaving time for each other to shine freely. Maea did not doubt they would be able to find a balance in simple things like home decorations and household chores, the way they could in their listening and speaking, in the way their hands and lips roamed, giving and taking, cooperating. They were friends, after all, not just lovers. Had understood and offered support to the other before ever sharing a bed, no matter how much tension there had been from the start.

She had faith in them. If this really wasn't a dream, then it was real and beautiful, and worth fighting for. This? Them? It was a battle she would pick any day.

Maea huffed, mock offended that he would run off and hunt rather than force down a horrible meal to please her. "If it's that bad, I hope you bring home something edible for mee too," she pouted, gnawing at his neck in playful aggression. The nips and kisses to her neck and ear was making her stomach tighten in lazy anticipation, knowing where this kind of tender touching usually landed them. Her exploration of his partially shifted body did not cease however, but continued. Tracing the familiar scars along the space where his hip should be, taking note of ones that showed up clearer than usual against his bright underbelly.

"Hmm.. this reminds me, I never did kiss your fin better for you, that day,"  she mused, reminiscing over the first time she'd seen him in this guise. Maea reached out a leg, rubbed her toes against his tail fin playfully. "Suppose it's all better now though..."

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

Her huff is met with a breathy laugh that takes across her throat. He plants a few more kisses there, resting gently in the crook of space she’s allowed him, before humming softly in thought, a vibrating sound that reverberates against her neck. “I hope you like fish.” He says eventually, knowing that it would likely be far more difficult to find the usual things he hunted — rabbits and deer and the like. But fish? Fish was always a good choice.

Her fingers continue their exploration, and if she touches a bit further toward his back where his thigh usually was, she might spot a rounder scar, vibrant against the black of his skin in comparison as well. But he focuses on the touches, the softness to her tone as she muses and presses her leg against his fin. Playfully, he flicks his tail toward her with all amusement.

“Mm, didn’t even leave a scar.” He says softly. “Besides, I would have preferred you kissed somewhere else at the time.” He pulls away from her with a wink, shifting on the rock a small amount to look down at her with a rogue grin.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

Her eyes was rather occupied, half closed in enjoyment over his mouth's journey over her neck. They missed much, noticed some things but left the questions about their origins for later conversations, for her imagination to play with... left him some secrets to keep, or offer up willingly, should he wish to speak of it. Her own skin was comparatively free from scars. A few scrapes on the knees, callouses on her hands from holding a pen, a butchers knife, a sheparding staff. Two small pinpricks on her wrist was all that remained of Nate's bite, and they would fade in time, a memory to be forgotten.

The only real marks on her were those Sunjata created, fading bruises on her skin that she had stopped trying to conceal. Maea did not even have holes in her ears, never thought to wear that kind of jewelry.

"My, and where would that be?" she teased back, eyes crinkling with her smile as she gazed up at him. "As I recall, you were able to lure quite a few kisses from me that time... They weren't enough?" Come to think of it, he had been very quick to decide he wanted to do more than chat overall... All after a short conversation over a meal, and some play with water. "How far.. would you have gone, if I hadn't said no?" she asked, her lavender dark eyes shuddering slightly as she watched his face, his eyes.

The river. It seemed she would always come back to it, never able to forget...

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

Her teasing tone is met with a roguish grin, a wiggle of his eyebrows as if to suggest just where, when the river comes back to mind. He’s half tempted to tell her that he could’ve wanted all the kisses in the world from her and it would have never quite been enough, but he doesn’t. Not when she asks him a rather serious question, one he has to think about for a bit.

He braces his arms along the rock to prop himself up, shifting his legs back to normal to tuck beneath him to sit more fully up. He runs a hand through his hair, salty and slick despite the drying ends before his gaze lands on her. “Not much farther than that with the ring on.” He admits, lip feathering slightly with the memory as he goes to look out over the water once more.

“After I took it off? However far you wanted to go.” Both are honest answers, maybe not what she wants to hear. But he would have, if she had wanted it, wanted him. He would have gone there for her regardless.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

In all honesty, she wasn't sure what she wanted to hear. That he had wanted her? That he wouldn't have done anything else? He sat up, and Maea pushed herself up on her elbows to keep his face in view... and then sat up, when she found that he grew too distant from her, even like that. Slipping an arm around his back, she kissed his shoulder and leaned her head against it. Found that, really, his answer was the best he could really give. It confirmed what she had suspected, strengthened her conviction that it had been a good decision not to linger in the water with him... Maea allowed herself a small pat on her own back for that.

"I... did want you," she admitted. Almost shyly, actually blushing to say it aloud, let him know. "I couldn't really look at you... because I was afraid I would see something I liked. And when I did... it was really hard to walk away. If you hadn't backed when I asked you..." She trailed off, letting the silence speak for her. How different things would have been. Would they sit here now, if that day had ended differently?

Somehow, she didn't think so.

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

She wraps an arm around him, kisses his shoulder and rests against it, and he leans into her touch a small amount – surprised that she doesn’t reprimand him for what he says because of the situation he’d been in then, like most would have. So instead, he sits quietly, letting her talk, a ghost of a smile crossing his face at the mention that she did want him – adding to that ego of his that had grown too large for too long before it came crumbling down.

But the mention of looking at him, of seeing things that she might have liked, causes him to nod quietly in agreement even if it didn’t make too much sense to him. At least… Not until she mentions that if he hadn’t backed away when she’d asked him to. His head turns to her then, looking down to where she sits curled up beside him, contemplating what things would have been like if he had been a man like that.

“Consent is probably the thing I value most.” He answers to her, after a moment of consideration. “I’ve never wanted to be a man like those you hear, especially with my height and how imposing I can be.” He snorts to that but ultimately shakes his head, looking back out over the water and the waves as they lap against the rock they sit on. “It’s why I’m always somewhat tentative, unless it was like the other night with the wings.” A smirk curls along his face at that lovely memory.

But he can’t quite stop thinking about the fact that she was afraid to like him even, and after a few heartbeats he focuses on the pearls within the oyster at their side. “Was it because of me or because of the situation I was in?” He asks somewhat quietly, wondering if she had been afraid to look because it was him of all people… Or because he’d been married to Phoebe.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too

Maea

give me shelter, or show me heart

She understood what he meant. Knew it was that value, that willingness to back off that had made her dare come close to him at all. She bit her lip, chose her words carefully at his question, knew it was important.

"I... had a bad experience, as a teen," she told him, deciding that it was best if he heard everything. The whole reason. "Got cornered by a group of boys, who wanted... things. They tried to make me undress, among other things. Nothing really awful happened, my brother found me in time, but it's why I shied from relations for so long. Why I never... kissed anyone, or tried to... explore that side of life." Her hand stroked his back as she spoke, not sure if she tried to soothe him or herself. It was still hard to talk about, even now. Even with Sunjata.

"When I first saw you in the bar... I was intimidated. You are very big, and I'm... not very tall," she said, mouth twitching at the understatement. "I thought you would be like them. Pushy, demanding, rough mouthed... but you were not. I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to you, how much fun I had.

"When I found you at the river... I was honesty happy to see you. It was just... difficult, to see all that naked skin. You made me react in ways I wasn't used to... and you were married. So it was all kinds of wrong at the same time." Again she blushed, recalling the crippling embarrassment she'd felt. How hard she had tried not to look, how only his words, his open, honest confessions had finally convinced her that there was more to him than an attractive body - that she really shouldn't have been attracted to at all.

"So... I suppose, the answer to your question, is... both? But also a lot more complicated than that."

watch me fall apart
and I'll be yours to keep

SUNJATA

the flood

but is this what you want? what you wanted?
do you need love? am i enough for you?

He keeps his gaze on the water when she begins to speak, to tell him of her experiences – why she’d been wary. And for a moment, he recalls that day on the beach, the way she’d hesitated and he’d read the signs, backed off. A muscle feathers in his jaw, having always strived to not be like them. He’d seen them plenty of times in Korofi – it was part of the reason Lusea had learned to fight from a young age. And he sighs quietly, nodding as she strokes his back. “I’m sorry.” Because what else could he say? The past was the past.

But when it came to him, he squints against the sunlight, the ghost of a smile crossing his face before it’s gone when she tells him that he’s tall and she’s not. Fading when she tells him that she thought he’d be like that too, and he finally glances over to her with a stormy gaze. But he waits for her to finish her thoughts, to see the blush creep over her cheeks. “It is complicated.” He agrees, reaching up to run a hand through his hair before drawing his knees up to rest his arms atop them.

“I told you I used to be an enforcer, right?” He asks, tilting his head toward her. “So, Korofi was hard and backwards and what not, but we still had rules in place for things like that… That happened to you. We enforced the punishment on those intensely, since we’re only allowed two children.” A dark raise of his brow to that. “So it’s always been something I’ve tried really hard to not give off, despite my size.” Another small crooked smile crosses his face in a fleeting moment.

He exhales, however, rolling his neck slightly to hear it pop before he focuses on the water again. “She got me in a bind, you know.” It’s a quiet rumble. “I agreed before I could set my terms, and when I tried to give them she denied them. It was her way. And I had already signed because I’d offered to do whatever I could to make her happy.” A muscle feathers in his jaw before he shakes his head. “Whatever, meant everything she wanted, the stipulations of her thoughts on marriage and not my own. And yet… I couldn’t say no, because I didn’t want the argument. I didn’t want her to be able to sit there and say I wouldn’t do anything for her when I had been trying to.”

“I’ve learned to be more careful with my words, I hope.” Under the impression that nearly everything is a binding contract – keeping it vague on his end in the hopes of not getting wrapped up in something.

in time you'll find i've got my baggage too