Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
Maea shook her head, couldn't see what he meant. "Different how?" she persisted, frustration mounting; it felt like they were talking past one another, addressing different topics. But she tried to calm her tone, to keep from shouting at least, in the face of his calm. "If you got sick, I'd go to the ends of the world to figure out why, how to fix it. But if it starts with one bite from Nate, where does it end, if you say you don't want it to stop? One of these so called 'checkups' becomes two, and then it becomes five, and then you're just doing it because it's fun, and then what? When would he be in our bed? At what point does he move into the house, when do 'we' grow into 'us'?"
And for all the she tried, still there was an almost frantic note in her voice, and there was fear in her eyes as she fixed them on Sunjata. Something bordering on panic, some deep dread of losing him that had been there after the dragon scars, after the sharks; it was clear she equaled his bedding of someone else with a something very permanent and lasting. Like had happened with her. With them.
And... Maea didn't think she fit into an equation that equalled more than one plus one. Couldn't see it, couldn't even fathom how it would work.
"I... I wouldn't. Let him touch me at all. I don't want to, I... don't want to know if I could stop it." Maea shook her head sharply, but... there was doubt in her eyes. Because try as she might, she couldn't forget how she had acted that evening. How easily she'd slipped into something completely different, the kind of loose, free ease that only Sunjata had brought out in her.
And frankly... it terrified her.
"I don't want to know.. don't want to know anyone but you, don't what to let anyone else...!" Her knuckles whitened on the fingers as they pressed deeper into her arms, and her shoulders hunched. Not flinching away from him or his words, but from what all this was stirring up inside her. Challenging ideals and norms that she'd never had to test before.
And for all the she tried, still there was an almost frantic note in her voice, and there was fear in her eyes as she fixed them on Sunjata. Something bordering on panic, some deep dread of losing him that had been there after the dragon scars, after the sharks; it was clear she equaled his bedding of someone else with a something very permanent and lasting. Like had happened with her. With them.
And... Maea didn't think she fit into an equation that equalled more than one plus one. Couldn't see it, couldn't even fathom how it would work.
"I... I wouldn't. Let him touch me at all. I don't want to, I... don't want to know if I could stop it." Maea shook her head sharply, but... there was doubt in her eyes. Because try as she might, she couldn't forget how she had acted that evening. How easily she'd slipped into something completely different, the kind of loose, free ease that only Sunjata had brought out in her.
And frankly... it terrified her.
"I don't want to know.. don't want to know anyone but you, don't what to let anyone else...!" Her knuckles whitened on the fingers as they pressed deeper into her arms, and her shoulders hunched. Not flinching away from him or his words, but from what all this was stirring up inside her. Challenging ideals and norms that she'd never had to test before.
