Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
She was stiff, unwieldy under his hands as he reached for her hands and pulled them away from her arms. But though the tension was palpable in her, from the hunched shoulders to the slight tremble in her hands, she did not shy away from him. Red halfmoons were dug into her arms, stark against her pale skin. Only two had actually managed to puncture the skin, but didn't bleed enough to even mention.
At least she listened to what he said, though she couldn't seem to meet his gaze for very long.
"But... you would still sleep with him," she protested, albeit weaker than before. Her voice fainter, halfway convinced... though she was clearly still struggling with this. "You just said so! You wouldn't want it to stop. And... and how could you be okay with anyone touching me like that? How could I be yours, how could you be mine if you look at someone else like you look at me?"
Swallowing hard, she stared about the room, gaze erratic, her thoughts a tangled mess inside her head. How had they ended up like this? Why were they even having this conversation?
What... if she really had to let Nate bite her again? Or had to watch him do the same to Sunjata? "I... I don't know," she whined, expression anguished. Writhing in his grip, some half attempt at pulling away from him, though she was as undecided on this as on everything else. Wanted to be left alone, but also to be held firmly and shook until she knew what this fear was, where it came from.
"Why can't you be enough? Why do I have to know more... when you're perfect to me? Does - does not knowing everything about pleasure make me that boring?" Another fear, intrinsically tied to her relation with Sunjata. He just confessed to having been with any number of people. And she knew only him. How long before he got tired of her inexperience?
It still wasn't an answer to his question though, and Maea struggled to find some semblance of one. Bit her lip hard instead, now that she couldn't dig her nails into the arms. What if Sunjata got sick? What if he couldn't stop once the bite began? What if she didn't come with him and everything went wrong because she couldn't stomach seeing him do what was necessary?
What if... she stopped feeling fine? Loren didn't have any answers, his magic was just a band-aid. If push came to shove and she was downed again... would she risk dying out of sheer stubbornness? Would she cause Sunjata that kind of pain?
Well. The answer to that was at least clear. No, she would not.
"If... No, I wouldn't want to. But if there was no other way... then.. I'd.. want you there... too." A very sluggish, extremely reluctant admission. That perhaps he had a point. But Maea couldn't see a scenario where she would be that sick, or he that downed by something that she would ever actually agree to it, and it was written plain on her face, her chin set in a stubborn expression as she finally met his gaze, and held it.
At least she listened to what he said, though she couldn't seem to meet his gaze for very long.
"But... you would still sleep with him," she protested, albeit weaker than before. Her voice fainter, halfway convinced... though she was clearly still struggling with this. "You just said so! You wouldn't want it to stop. And... and how could you be okay with anyone touching me like that? How could I be yours, how could you be mine if you look at someone else like you look at me?"
Swallowing hard, she stared about the room, gaze erratic, her thoughts a tangled mess inside her head. How had they ended up like this? Why were they even having this conversation?
What... if she really had to let Nate bite her again? Or had to watch him do the same to Sunjata? "I... I don't know," she whined, expression anguished. Writhing in his grip, some half attempt at pulling away from him, though she was as undecided on this as on everything else. Wanted to be left alone, but also to be held firmly and shook until she knew what this fear was, where it came from.
"Why can't you be enough? Why do I have to know more... when you're perfect to me? Does - does not knowing everything about pleasure make me that boring?" Another fear, intrinsically tied to her relation with Sunjata. He just confessed to having been with any number of people. And she knew only him. How long before he got tired of her inexperience?
It still wasn't an answer to his question though, and Maea struggled to find some semblance of one. Bit her lip hard instead, now that she couldn't dig her nails into the arms. What if Sunjata got sick? What if he couldn't stop once the bite began? What if she didn't come with him and everything went wrong because she couldn't stomach seeing him do what was necessary?
What if... she stopped feeling fine? Loren didn't have any answers, his magic was just a band-aid. If push came to shove and she was downed again... would she risk dying out of sheer stubbornness? Would she cause Sunjata that kind of pain?
Well. The answer to that was at least clear. No, she would not.
"If... No, I wouldn't want to. But if there was no other way... then.. I'd.. want you there... too." A very sluggish, extremely reluctant admission. That perhaps he had a point. But Maea couldn't see a scenario where she would be that sick, or he that downed by something that she would ever actually agree to it, and it was written plain on her face, her chin set in a stubborn expression as she finally met his gaze, and held it.
