Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
Tilting her head to look up at him, she dragged her teeth over the bottom lip, a thoughtful gesture that came out far more sensual than she was even aware of. The tension in her body was easing off, stolen away by the warmth of the alcohol, for all that the wariness of the mind remained. Sighing, she shook her head without lifting it from her arms.
"Because nothing good ever happens to me," she replied, not self-pitying but with a stark realism to her voice that somehow made it sound all the more painful. "My mother died giving birth to me. I was born Abandoned. My best friend hated me for spending more time with her mother than she did, and her best friend did everything to make sure I never felt welcome. I watched them get everything I wanted while I got nothing.
"The one boy I ever took interest in led me to be ambushed by his group of friends, so they could push me around, grope at my breasts and threaten to tell my father what a sinful little whore I was, if I did not lift my skirts for them. I've been sick for the better part of my life, worked myself to the bone to please everyone around me and got nothing in return, and though I prayed to the gods all my life, not one of them answered. I've lived my life up until now with no hopes, no dreams, no chance for any kind of future beyond the constant toil to get food on the table and keep monsters out of the door... and now all that is suddenly exchanged for this? You, the Guild, this house, all these people who claim to want to be my friends... how can any of it be real?
"I don't get lucky, Sunjata... it just doesn't happen. Either this is a beautiful dream, or it's a cruel joke, or there will be a steep price to pay... and either way, I'm desperate to hold on to what few scraps of happiness I have while it lasts." Maea's voice was soft, almost gentle, and her fingers reached over to brush down his arm again. A little touchy, a lot needy for confirmation, for something to anchor her into this turbulent period in her life, where both she and the world around was undergoing explosive change.
"Mmmh, but no... Aside from those charming boys, no one showed me any interest before you. Just pointed and stared and the freak. The neighbor kids used to call me 'turnip', 'mooney'... among other things." She grimaced, half amused by the lack of imagination to the insults... though it had hurt at the time. Then she recalled something, and sat up a little. "Oh, there was one time... Hotaru did. She sat at my table at the bar one time, and she kept flirting with me. Said she wanted to sketch me, of all things." Maea blushed at the memory, grinning embarrassedly at the forward comments. "But... I don't know. She's very pretty, but I'd already met you at that point... I wasn't very interested. Not with Saiden either."
Gods, she was talking a lot. It was like some latch had come undone in her, and words kept tumbling out. It made her thirsty, tongue dry and throat sore; Maea picked up the bottle of wine again and drank, a little surprised to see that it was half empty already.
"Because nothing good ever happens to me," she replied, not self-pitying but with a stark realism to her voice that somehow made it sound all the more painful. "My mother died giving birth to me. I was born Abandoned. My best friend hated me for spending more time with her mother than she did, and her best friend did everything to make sure I never felt welcome. I watched them get everything I wanted while I got nothing.
"The one boy I ever took interest in led me to be ambushed by his group of friends, so they could push me around, grope at my breasts and threaten to tell my father what a sinful little whore I was, if I did not lift my skirts for them. I've been sick for the better part of my life, worked myself to the bone to please everyone around me and got nothing in return, and though I prayed to the gods all my life, not one of them answered. I've lived my life up until now with no hopes, no dreams, no chance for any kind of future beyond the constant toil to get food on the table and keep monsters out of the door... and now all that is suddenly exchanged for this? You, the Guild, this house, all these people who claim to want to be my friends... how can any of it be real?
"I don't get lucky, Sunjata... it just doesn't happen. Either this is a beautiful dream, or it's a cruel joke, or there will be a steep price to pay... and either way, I'm desperate to hold on to what few scraps of happiness I have while it lasts." Maea's voice was soft, almost gentle, and her fingers reached over to brush down his arm again. A little touchy, a lot needy for confirmation, for something to anchor her into this turbulent period in her life, where both she and the world around was undergoing explosive change.
"Mmmh, but no... Aside from those charming boys, no one showed me any interest before you. Just pointed and stared and the freak. The neighbor kids used to call me 'turnip', 'mooney'... among other things." She grimaced, half amused by the lack of imagination to the insults... though it had hurt at the time. Then she recalled something, and sat up a little. "Oh, there was one time... Hotaru did. She sat at my table at the bar one time, and she kept flirting with me. Said she wanted to sketch me, of all things." Maea blushed at the memory, grinning embarrassedly at the forward comments. "But... I don't know. She's very pretty, but I'd already met you at that point... I wasn't very interested. Not with Saiden either."
Gods, she was talking a lot. It was like some latch had come undone in her, and words kept tumbling out. It made her thirsty, tongue dry and throat sore; Maea picked up the bottle of wine again and drank, a little surprised to see that it was half empty already.
