Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
She could probably have found an answer for pretty much anything he said. Words to reason with him, coax him away from fear, from guilt, from pain. But there was one thing Maea was powerless against. Had been, from the very start.
And that... was love.
A love, not for her.
It... had haunted her a long time. Lusea's name. From the very first day, actually. The first name he'd spoken had been hers. Lusea's lantern. Lusea's bar. The Flood and the Flame, whether she was still there or not. He spoke of her, dreamed of her... and why shouldn't he? Sunjata had loved Lusea for four years and more, and you didn't just end that in a few seasons.
You never ended that. Love never died.
Maea closed her eyes. There was a dull ache spreading from her chest, through her body. It pooled in the jaws, like heat and pressure, burning in the eyes. Grief, pain, hurt, rage, it was all there... but oh, the love. That's what killed her.
Because... he didn't see her. And all she saw was him.
Very slowly, Maea leaned in and pressed her lips to his forehead. Held them there, as if to memorize what it felt like. To burn this moment, this instant, into her mind forever. Then, she slowly eased herself away from him. Climbed down from the table, and stood. Shaking. Trembling, from the effort it took to contain herself. To keep the tears back, to keep to her feet when the whole room was spinning.
"I need to go find Shii." Her voice was very soft. Barely even there. But... she knew he would hear her.
He always did.
And that... was love.
A love, not for her.
It... had haunted her a long time. Lusea's name. From the very first day, actually. The first name he'd spoken had been hers. Lusea's lantern. Lusea's bar. The Flood and the Flame, whether she was still there or not. He spoke of her, dreamed of her... and why shouldn't he? Sunjata had loved Lusea for four years and more, and you didn't just end that in a few seasons.
You never ended that. Love never died.
Maea closed her eyes. There was a dull ache spreading from her chest, through her body. It pooled in the jaws, like heat and pressure, burning in the eyes. Grief, pain, hurt, rage, it was all there... but oh, the love. That's what killed her.
Because... he didn't see her. And all she saw was him.
Very slowly, Maea leaned in and pressed her lips to his forehead. Held them there, as if to memorize what it felt like. To burn this moment, this instant, into her mind forever. Then, she slowly eased herself away from him. Climbed down from the table, and stood. Shaking. Trembling, from the effort it took to contain herself. To keep the tears back, to keep to her feet when the whole room was spinning.
"I need to go find Shii." Her voice was very soft. Barely even there. But... she knew he would hear her.
He always did.
