Maea
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
But take the pain
Her breath was a long, slow affair, deceptively steady. A flood gate holding back a lot of things that suddenly crowded on her tongue. Words, emotions, thoughts and hopes and wishes, repeating things that she'd already said, ready to be chewed all over again.
Sunjata would fix it... for her. And yet... hadn't she already told him, that she did not need a home? That she was content to drift, to blow with the wind, that her roots had already been pulled and felt no need of soil?
This house by the sea... it had been his dream. And Maea dreamed it because it would let her stay with him. If he wasn't there, if he did that for her and then left, never to shadow that threshold again...
How empty it would be. How pointless.
But how did you say that to someone who was really trying to do what he thought would make her happy? Like some kind of amends, when she needed none of the sort. The VlamVloed had become home because he was there. The Academy was only roof over the head while she was doing what she felt was necessary, something to be endured along with the scowls on everyone's face when they realized she'd thrown herself at Zariah's feet. Halo was beautiful and she liked it there, fit well with the climate and the rugged, lonely expanses, but it was no home of hers.
He was.
But Sunjata didn't seem to realize this. And Maea couldn't bring herself to tell him, not if it would spark another argument. Her head was clearing, the alcohol no longer ruling her tongue, and so she breathed, in, and out in a slow exhale. Squeezed his fingers again, a little too hard, a little too long.
"Thank you," was all she could think to say. And she was grateful, she really was, it wasn't a lie. It just... it just felt like one.
Sunjata would fix it... for her. And yet... hadn't she already told him, that she did not need a home? That she was content to drift, to blow with the wind, that her roots had already been pulled and felt no need of soil?
This house by the sea... it had been his dream. And Maea dreamed it because it would let her stay with him. If he wasn't there, if he did that for her and then left, never to shadow that threshold again...
How empty it would be. How pointless.
But how did you say that to someone who was really trying to do what he thought would make her happy? Like some kind of amends, when she needed none of the sort. The VlamVloed had become home because he was there. The Academy was only roof over the head while she was doing what she felt was necessary, something to be endured along with the scowls on everyone's face when they realized she'd thrown herself at Zariah's feet. Halo was beautiful and she liked it there, fit well with the climate and the rugged, lonely expanses, but it was no home of hers.
He was.
But Sunjata didn't seem to realize this. And Maea couldn't bring herself to tell him, not if it would spark another argument. Her head was clearing, the alcohol no longer ruling her tongue, and so she breathed, in, and out in a slow exhale. Squeezed his fingers again, a little too hard, a little too long.
"Thank you," was all she could think to say. And she was grateful, she really was, it wasn't a lie. It just... it just felt like one.
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay
You choose to stay
